Chapter 15: It All Comes to a Head

My anger increased as the plane approached Denver International Airport. The more I thought back on the last few months, the more disgusted I became with Kael's actions. Manipulated and used, I was extremely pissed off when I entered the terminal.

Kael's imposing figure was impossible to miss. Apparently he still worked out regularly as, at about six foot, he looked to be solid muscle, and people backed away from the intensity of his glare.

Hoping to show my disdain for his effort to be waiting for me right outside the gate, I pointedly ignored him as I pulled Kristy close for one last passionate embrace. I allowed the kiss to linger and could practically feel Kael's eyes boring into my back.

"Have a fun flight?" he snapped, obviously not amused.

"It was enjoyable," I replied tersely.

"Good, we need to talk."

"I agree, but we are not having this conversation in the middle of a crowded airport."

Turning, I strode purposely towards the Docent Lounge, smirking when I heard Kael racing to catch up. 'Now to find out what he's really been up to.'

As we walked towards a private room, Kael's normally calm image seemed to be cracking. He was twitchy and his eyes reminded me of Mer's when she wanted to pick an argument.

Almost before the door had fully closed, he launched his attack.

"You were never the best in your studies; you were barely even in the top half of your graduating class. But unlike the other Initiates who merely memorized how a Docent was supposed to act and behave, you became a Docent."

"So?" I snapped, confused by his attack and suddenly on the defensive.

"You internalized everything and learned how to be the perfect Docent. But that's all you learned," he barked. "All you cared about was keeping your perfect record, but eventually even that wasn't enough and your clients were starting to notice."

"What?" I bellowed. "That's bullshit! I was the best and my record proves it. If clients had anything to notice then the records would show that."

"Your scores were perfect. But if you'd bothered to read your last few client reviews you would have seen that several thought that at times you seemed 'distant.'"

I realized that Kael was purposely keeping me on the defensive and had yet to even begin explaining his actions.

"What the hell does all this have to do with your lies and manipulation?" I demanded. "I trusted you!"

"You were too perfect. Aside from a few Docents, you never tried to make friends, and you ignored your family. All that mattered were your clients, yet you'd grown so emotionally detached that even they couldn't hold your interest for long."

"Just because I never let it show doesn't mean didn't hate leaving them," I hissed, "What would you know about how I felt?"

For a split second Kael hesitated, one eyebrow lifting in surprise.

"I tried to mix things up," he continued, ignoring me. "When things didn't improve by the end of last summer, I decided to get others involved."

In an ice cold voice I asked, "So, you set me up?"

"It was decided that you needed to move on."

While there was a point when I wanted to retire, things had been getting better and I now appreciated my reduced workload. The absoluteness of Kael's statement made it sound like I was being dismissed.

"You're firing me?" I gasped, completely shocked.

"There were a lot of skills for you to learn before you integrated back into the community," he calmly explained, "and our models predicted that re-assimilation training wouldn't work. Instead I decided to try something new in an attempt to get you to do more than just burn out and quit. Beth couldn't mar your perfect record and I sent her to act as a client in order to shake you up enough that you'd help teach yourself how to re-assimilate."

"You fucking asshole!" I yelled. "You don't even know me!"

"Grow up, Alex! You think that you're the first Docent to take their training too seriously?"

I tried to reply, but Kael just barreled on. "I've spent the last three months working my ass off preparing you for life after the Institute. The Girls taught you to deal with women as more than just clients. Sarah and the Ladies kept you sharp, while Emily and Abigail got you to consider taking on more challenging and non-perfect match clients. Even Steph tried to help ease your transition."

"And who asked you to fuck with my life?"

"Think, Alex! You went out a champion. You've got The Girls and your parents' support ... Why don't you open your eyes, take control of your life, and live!"

I was expecting an apology or an excuse, but the intensity of his response shocked me into silence.

Assuming my lack of response was consent, Kael relaxed. "Good, I'm glad we've got that settled. Now, I've arranged for a nice retirement package..."

"You can take your retirement package and shove it up your ass!"

This caused Kael to pause. I could tell that he would've loved to continue the argument, but we'd obviously talked about everything he wanted to discuss.

Eyes narrowing, he snapped, "We'll talk again in the morning," and walked out of the lounge, leaving me stewing in my anger.

Unconsciously I started pacing. I'd never received anything less than a perfect rating, and the Institute was firing me? My whole life had been devoted to being a Docent, and now they wanted me to just leave it all behind? Just when I was finally starting to feel confident again, they wanted to take it all away?

I wanted to strike the wall in rage when something far more enticing entered the room.

"Hello, Alex, are you ready to finish your re-assimilation training?"

As she sauntered towards me, I instantly recognized the woman I'd 'seduced' while testing my skills in New York. I started to see spots as I again raged at being duped.

"Donna," I replied, my eyes fixed on her coal-black Iugum.

The Black Rings are an empathetic group of Docents specially trained to serve as the Institute's counselors. Like Elites, they are granted Iugums, but are not required to wear them. In almost every case they request Iugums that are either pure black or, in some cases, pure white.

"So, Kael wants me to see a shrink?" I sneered. "This is not the River Café and you should not be here."

"Actually, I requested to come visit you tonight."

Without waiting for my reply she lifted a panel on the near wall to reveal a large selection of crops and paddles. With the practiced grace of an expert, she carefully laid out several for my inspection then purposely strode across the room.

"I don't need a whipping boy."

"Really? Your attitude and bearing suggest otherwise."

Fuming, I was tempted to throw her out.

"We need to talk, but not while you're too angry to listen. So why don't you let me do my job?" she asked, shrugging out of her robe.

"I prefer the crop," she encouraged, bending over the couch and presenting her perfect ass. "I hope you're as good with it as you were with your hand in New York."

At first I just stared at her, mouth agape, trying to figure out if she was toying with me. Her eyes kept darting to the toys, and my anger flared at the insolence of her demand.

Though initially repulsed, I was startled to realize how good the crop felt in my hand. It had a thick leather flap at the end and I knew it would sound much worse than it felt. But still, I hesitated.

Donna peered over her shoulder at me; her gaze that of a trained submissive. Although she approved of my choice, she seemed annoyed by my hesitation and set about provoking me. She'd obviously read my profile and knew exactly what to say, but it honestly didn't take much before I bellowed my rage and vented my frustrations.

It was much later when the last of my rage faded and I was left panting in its wake.

"Finished so soon?" Donna teased. As she straightened it was obvious that her nipples were hard and she was very aroused.

It was only then that I noticed the welts and felt embarrassed. "Did I go too far?"

"It will heal," she replied dismissively. When she saw that I was about to apologize, she added firmly, "and I loved every minute of it."

I was intrigued, as it had been years since I last met a masochist. "You like the pain?"

"Yes, but more importantly, I like the healing."

"Really?"

"We all have different tastes. I enjoy helping people work through their anger so that they can begin to heal."

"Is that what you call this?" I asked, tossing aside the crop.

"I already asked if you were finished," she glared, seeming to debate whether to keep provoking me.

I tried to get angry, but there was nothing left. Exhaustion and the pain of betrayal I had in abundance, but the anger had faded.

Sensing my mood, she asked, "Are you ready to talk?"

When I nodded, she slipped on her robe, walked over to the table tucked into one corner of the room, and carefully sat down.

With a sigh I joined her. "So, what is so important that the Institute sent a Black Ring to discuss it?"

"Your retirement."

And there it was. The topic I'd hoped to avoid by once again accepting clients had suddenly come back to haunt me. I wanted to argue, to protest the unfairness of the situation. But instead I waited for Donna to continue.

Lifting my hand, she caressed my ring. "I noticed that even in your rage, you never tried to remove your Iugum."

When I nodded my head she continued, "The Institute's hooks run deep, and removing them can be a very painful process. Whether you're ready to believe it or not, the last three months have been about helping you let go."

Annoyed, I tried to pull my hand away, but she held tight.

"I tried to quit in London. Why bother with all these lies?"

"We've tried the clean-break strategy with other Docents like you, and the transition isn't nearly as effective," she sighed.

"Since when did 'what worked for one client' apply to all the others?"

"I'm not going to argue with you. What's done is done and it's time for you to move on."

This confused me even more. "What do you mean, move on?"

"Alex, think about it. There's a lot more to your life now than just the Institute. Tomorrow, Kael's going to make you an offer if you want to keep working with clients. You've already vented your anger, now it's time to vent your pain."

For some reason her blasé attitude and rosy view of the last few months was really pissing me off. I wanted to lash out, but was distracted by the gentle squeeze of her hand. I tried to use my Institute training to lock up my emotions, but it wouldn't work.

As if reading my mind, she suggested, "You never did tell me what was bothering you back in New York."

I knew what she was asking, and suddenly felt desperate to describe everything that had happened in the last few months. While searching for a way to refuse, I remembered that to a Black Ring betraying a client's trust was the equivalent of crying out the wrong name.

"Am I a client?"

"Of course."

Standing up, she moved to the bed and made herself comfortable. "Kael said you're not flying down to Colorado Springs until the morning."

When a made no move to join her, she patted the pillow and beckoned me over. "It sounds like you've had a hard time, want to tell me about it?"

Her voice radiated trust and I could tell that she genuinely cared. It was like a dam had burst; I told her everything. Donna's encouragement allowed me to begin venting my frustrations from the last few months. It was such a release to know I could reveal anything and not have to worry about divulging confidential information, or that it would somehow get back to Kael.

Every new story moved me a little closer to letting go of the Institute. It was scary, but in many ways liberating. As the night wore on I grew curious about what Kael could possibly offer.

I'd long since joined Donna on the bed, and every time I tensed she snuggled closer, silently urging me to continue. I finally ran out of steam and Donna put her arms around me and held me tight.

Just when I thought she'd fallen asleep, she stretched languidly and winced as the sheet scraped across her back. I was surprised when the pain was quickly replaced by passion and she unconsciously ground against my leg.

I lifted the sheet, and stifled a gasp at the angry welts covering her formerly perfect ass and back.

"There's some cream in the cabinet that will help them heal if it bothers you," she sighed, sounding completely indifferent even though they had to be stinging like crazy.

Grabbing the cream I began to gently massage it into her back and ass. I could tell she was growing aroused from my light caresses, but was still worried about hurting her.

"Did you know that you were one of the few clients who actually tried to seduce me?" she moaned appreciatively.

She seemed to be pleased that I was taking a personal interest in her, so I considered how we met the first time. "I think I saw a Caribou Coffee just outside, and their Mint Condition mocha espresso is far better than any of the crap Starbucks brews."

"Hmm, but do you think I might find someone to hang out with?" she replied, squirming as my hands began to explore her supple curves.

"Well, a certain dashing Elite may stop by soon. He's had a rough day and could really use some female companionship to share a relaxing dinner."

"Just dinner?" she asked suggestively.

I really wasn't in the mood, but knew it would mean a lot to her. "I couldn't handle anything rough, and we'd have to take it slow."

"Slow would be nice," she sighed. "Most of my clients like it rough."

"Hmm," I agreed as my hands continued to explore. I could tell that Donna appreciated my caresses, but I was careful to avoid pressing too hard.

"Being spoiled like last time would be a real treat. Just don't be afraid of hurting me," she insisted, grabbing my hands and using them to firmly squeeze her still flushed ass.

"This afternoon it was about you. Tonight it's my turn, and you'd better be waiting for me at that coffee shop by the time I finish my shower."

I couldn't help staring after her as she wiggled out from under me and headed towards the bathroom. There was nothing overtly sexual about her walk, yet she radiated confidence. Just watching her got me hard.

It had been one hell of a tiring day and I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, so dinner sounded really good. The fact that I could even think about food meant that Donna had done an amazing job, and I wanted to return the favor.

I began planning out how to 'seduce' Donna for a second time. There was no hiding that we were both Elites, but if anything this just added to the challenge. It seemed a shame that she was constantly abused, even if she did like the pain, and I was determined to give her a night she would never forget.

With a start I heard the shower shut off. I hurriedly splashed water on my face and dashed out to the coffee shop. The routine of getting ready for our 'date' was comforting.

By the time I was sipping my perfect mint mocha espresso, I was looking forward to spending a relaxing evening once again seducing Donna.

The next morning I was feeling remarkably refreshed when Donna nudged me awake and suggested I go shower before meeting Kael.

Donna had done her job well. After a candle lit dinner in the Docent Lounge, I had spent several hours proving just how gentle sex could be, before we collapsed exhausted on the bed and talked most of the night.

As the warm water cascaded down on me, I thought of Kael's betrayal. Instead of anger I felt a deep sense of loss, and knew that the Institute would never again be the focus of my life.

When I entered one of the private conference rooms I found Kael waiting for me. His eyes searched mine. I'm not sure what they saw, but he seemed satisfied and indicated that I should take the chair opposite.

I waited for him to begin, but apparently today it was my turn to lead the discussion.

"Why'd you do it?" I demanded.

"There are lots of reasons," he sighed evasively. "But mainly because I wanted the best for you. I've seen other Elites that became too obsessed with the Institute, and your transition was actually rather smooth by comparison."

"That's it?"

"Alex, there's no conspiracy here. It was time for you to retire and I strongly believe that this was the best way to do it."

I was tempted to protest, but Donna's words echoed in my head. 'Even if you don't agree, arguing about the past will not change it. You're not going to change Kael's mind, I doubt he'll try and change yours. You might as well agree to disagree and move on.'

I could tell that Kael was bracing for my retort, but instead I just shook my head.

"What now?"

"It's time to start planning out life after the Institute. As of this morning, your client ratings were frozen and you've officially been listed as retired."

"More like fired."

"Hardly," he scoffed. "But there's one thing that I'd like you to do."

"You're hardly in a position to make demands."

"I want you to forgive Beth and Jackie. Everything in the last few months was my work. If you're going to be angry at anyone, blame me."

"What about Steph?"

"Steph was already planning to visit and just wanted to help out. My only request was that she avoid talking about your ongoing re-assimilation training and that she offer some suggestions for your retirement."

"She recognized Jackie."

"I knew she would, but Steph was one of the few Docent friends you have, and she just wanted to help."

There was a tone of finality in Kael's voice, and I could tell he was ready to move on. Willing to talk to Steph directly, I continued, "I've said my piece with Beth, but I'm hardly in the mood to forgive Jackie for her manipulations of me and The Girls."

"Beth could use more closure, and part of moving on involves not holding a grudge against Jackie."

"Huh," I grunted noncommittally.

"Look Alex, I can't change what Jackie did, but the Institute's already pulled back and there'll be no more interfering. You're on your own now."

"You mean Jackie won't be spying on me anymore?"

"We've got other plans for Jackie."

"Other? How?"

"Jackie managed to guide The Girls' actions and kept a close eye on you without your awareness, all while living a partial lie for several months. Do you have any idea how impressive that is?"

"Impressive? Sounds damn deceitful to me."

"There are Docents who specialize in every type of sex. Jackie has always liked to tease and is very comfortable manipulating others. She has the potential to be good at seducing older clients."

"Maybe," I snorted. "But she sure has a lot to learn."

"And I'm sure some Doceo will have a lot of fun training her."

We sat staring at each other, an awkward silence dragging on as I refused to offer any further opinions of Jackie's abilities.

When neither of us seemed likely to continue talking about Jackie, I gestured towards the stack of client profiles on the table.

"What are these?"

"Since you don't want to be a Doceo, these represent the perfect retirement."

"How so?"

"These are high priority clients whose profiles are so murky that most Docents would never accept them."

"So, why would I?"

"Think about it: No one's forcing you to accept clients, but when you feel the urge to test your skills you can accept a client at least as difficult as Emily."

"You mean there are worse clients?"

Kael smiled and nodded gravely. "Much worse."

"What if I fail?"

"Nothing, as long as you try your best." When I looked skeptical he reminded, "Your scores have already been frozen."

"What if I don't want a challenge?"

"You can always help out locally, but something tells me you'll find other ways of keeping yourself busy. For example, your hall director called me and wanted to know if he could have you on his staff."

"What, why would I want to do that?"

"He mentioned something about The Girls' RA studying abroad next semester and thought you may be interested."

"No kidding," I hedged, clearly intrigued, but not wanting to sound eager.

"There's also that small issue of your foundation's endowment."

"$200 million is hardly small."

"Well, some of these 'challenge clients' can be quite lucrative. The Institute is interested in supporting you and possibly matching your contributions. However, they'd want the funds to support mutually beneficial causes, like the Little Brothers and Sisters College Fund."

"I've got some ideas, but nothing I'm ready to commit to just yet."

"Fair enough, but let me know if you want me to get the Institute more involved with investing or donating the funds."

When I nodded, he continued. "Most retired Elites think of these clients almost as a hobby, a way of proving they are still one of the best. You now have the freedom to do anything you want."

"Why didn't you offer this type of retirement back in September?"

"Because you weren't ready. Emily was one of the easier challenge cases."

"If she was easy, these must be ... interesting," I murmured, nudging the files.

Kael laughed and eased back in his chair. "One thing you'll soon find is that outside the Institute, nothing is easy. But you won't be alone. Chad, Nancy and Claudia have all agreed to help you out should you accept."

"Oh? How are they doing?"

"They seem to be doing well, and I recently got word that their retirement accounts have been finalized."

"That's great!" I agreed. "Think they'll still want to work with me when they don't need the money?"

"Of course they will," he replied with a smile. "It was never about the money."

"Yeah, no kidding."

When it seemed time to leave, Kael encouraged, "Please consider the offer."

"You've messed with a lot of people's lives to get to this point. Was it worth it?"

"It's still too early to tell, but your work with Emily was amazing, and I've heard you're getting along much better with your parents and now have plenty of friends."