Chapter 30

Pandora stiffened, then shook her head. "No. Gabriel, it's not worth it. Let's go."

Gabriel shook his head. "No, love. It's reasonable. He's giving us a weapon, which makes him responsible if we misuse it."

Pandora shook her head. "He's threatening you."

"Not really. He's warning me of the consequences if I misuse this information," Gabriel said.

"And of course he defines misuse!" she said.

"He's giving me the choice, love. That's the price I'm paying for the information: I can't use it against those he serves. That's not unreasonable."

She looked away. "I just don't think there's anything that could be worth dealing with someone who's threatening you."

"I do, love," Gabriel said.

She hunched her shoulders and looked down at her lap. "It's your choice, of course," she murmured.

"Love, if you were about to tell someone something they could use to hurt Tandi, wouldn't you want them to know you'd come after them if they did?" Gabriel asked.

"It isn't worth it, Gabriel. It can't be."

"How do you know?"

"Because I would know," she insisted. "Something would show in my parents, or something. If it was important, I'd know."

Gabriel looked at her. "It does, love. It's already caused you problems once. What if it could get worse? What if it started happening all the time?"

Pandora kept her eyes down and sighed. "Maybe ... maybe it's not something I can look at rationally. So maybe it's good that it's your decision, not mine."

Gabriel touched her hand. "Maybe so." He looked up at Lucien. "Okay."

Lucien said, addressing Pandora, "If it makes you feel better, likely the trait doesn't exist in either parent. It's rare that it's even present, and even more so that it manifests itself. Just from the scent of you, I can tell you that it's from far back, not just a generation or two."

She shrugged, looking unhappily into her glass.

He sighed. "It's not a bad thing. It's likely what made you irresistible to him, in fact."

Pandora stiffened, her jaw clenching, and refused to look up. Gabriel could feel the surge of fear and uncertainty coming from her.

Gabriel squeezed her hand. "Love, if it's a part of you ... why does it bother you so much? Is there any reason it's different from your looks, or your mind?"

"I ... I want you to want me, not some mystical thing that I don't know anything about and don't want," she whispered.

"I do, love. I love all of you."

Lucien said, "I was perhaps misleading. It wasn't the cause of his attraction, child. It was ... something that made you not just an excellent match, but a perfect match. He's not a normal sidhe, you have to understand. Even among the Unseelie who delight in the unique, he's unusual. He's what's called a lhiannan sith, or 'fairy sweetheart'. It's a harmless, playful sounding name, isn't it? Literally, it translates to 'the love of one's soul or spirit', or soul-mate, to put it in modern terms. They're rare, as I said, and will always seek out a mortal whose soul is that of an artist: a painter, a writer, a poet, or, as in your case, a musician. Once they've tasted the beauty of the creative soul, they cannot exist without it, and so bind themselves to their chosen one irrevocably. From the bond, they get the beauty they crave, and the chosen gets ... energy, inspiration, a massive boost to their talent, and a love almost unknown to any other."

"That ... that makes sense, I think," Gabriel said.

"There are numerous legends about them, of course," Lucien said. "Many think that the lover of the lhiannan sidhe burns bright and fast, and dies young, drained by the needs of their otherworldly mate. In actuality, it is the mortal who holds the power, for if he or she rejects the bond, the sidhe will sicken and die. As long as they are together, though, both are healthier, happier, and stronger than they ever could be alone."

"Alright," Pandora said, cautiously. "That makes sense, I guess. Music is ... very important to me. And I know that I have some talent for it, though how much of that is just that I love it so much, I don't know. And I won't ever reject him, so he doesn't have to worry about that. But why do you think it's more? That I'm different than any other, ah, artist?"

"Because, to be blunt, I can See you. And I can smell you. And I can hear your heritage in your voice." Lucien smiled and shook his head. "You can deny it to humans, and you can deny it to yourself, but to the inhuman, you're as obviously inhuman as he is. Perhaps moreso, for the Sidhe are very good at hiding and your kind are not."

Pandora closed her eyes, then sighed with resignation. "Fine. Then what, in your expert opinion, am I?"

"You're a Siren. In myths, your ancestresses lured ships into rocks with the power of their songs. In truth, that rarely happened, but those who lived near the surface did beguile the occasional fisherman or sailor. Usually, any offspring resulting from their playfulness was born to the sea, and no different from the mother ... though the siren talent is a rare one, even among pure-blood merfolk, and often skips many generations. But sometimes one would be born who could not live beneath the water, and while they usually died, on rare occasions the mother found some way to deposit her child with its kin on land, so that it was raised human. I can only assume that one of your ancestors was such a child."

Gabriel nodded, slowly. "I could see that, love."

"I ... I ... okay," she said weakly. "S-so what? So I sing well, and it makes people want to touch me ... so? It's not useful, unless I'm being ... I don't know... bait or something. And I'm not going to do that..." She looked up at Gabriel uncertainly, "a-am I?"

Gabriel shook his head firmly. "No."

"You have far, far more potential than simply 'bait'. The way your talent has manifested up to now is merely the simplest, most uncontrolled form. With practice, you can control how people respond to you when you play or dance, and through singing, well..." Lucien smiled. "You can wield power that only comes to one in a thousand of the greatest Bards, and even then only after a lifetime of dedication. Your songs can change the hearts and minds of all who hear them. The riches of the world will be laid at your feet."

Pandora sat there, speechless, looking stunned.

"You're saying she could be a star. A super-star," Gabriel said.

"She can be whatever she wants," Lucien said. "Have whatever she wants. Kings would fight for the opportunity to lay their wealth at her feet on the off chance that she might choose to sing just for them."

Gabriel looked at him. "Could she? I mean, in this day and age?"

"In this day and age, more than in any other. Her full power will not carry over a recording, but a hint of it will. Enough to intrigue, to make the listener want more. Enough for them to become fixated on getting more, and to generate a subconscious desire to please her," Lucien said.

Gabriel set his glass down on the table. "Just ... how powerful is she? I mean, a stadium full of people..." he said slowly.

"There are goddesses who don't have so much power," Lucien said seriously.

Pandora shook her head, coming out of her daze. "No. I've never seen anything like that. Not anything even close. That just isn't possible."

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "Have you ever seen an elf before? Does that make me impossible? Have you ever seen a ghost before? Does that make--" He broke off suddenly, staring at her, but clearly not seeing her.

Pandora paled and went silent, looking down at her lap.

"Love," Gabriel said, reaching for her. "I'm not going to leave you, even if-- if Meshael could bring her back. But..." He hesitated. "Well, what she said earlier ... her suggestion ... if you were interested..."

She leaned against him, shaking, her fear and confusion almost making him physically ill. "I ... I don't know. But I wouldn't have any right ... I want you to be h-happy, I couldn't tell you you couldn't."

Gabriel slipped his arm around her. "Love, I think you're making a mistake. It wouldn't be you sharing me with her so much as me sharing you with her."

She hid her face against his shoulder. "It ... it would be your choice. Whatever you wanted. That's what I promised."

"I'm not going to leave you, love. I promise. Even if he can bring her back," Gabriel said.

"Gabriel," Lucien said hesitantly, "No one can bring back the dead. Not even Meshael or my Lord. Meshael can strengthen a spirit that straddles the doorway, give them more substance, more ... reality, and he can help people to find souls that have been born again, and my Lord can give a loose spirit a home in His realm, where they will be as 'real' as anyone else, but no one can bring someone back and allow them to walk as flesh. I'm sorry."

"Damn," Gabriel said, sitting back. "Damn, damn, damn. It's not fair."

She looked up at him, confused as to what, exactly, he considered unfair, since she could tell it wasn't the obvious.

"She killed herself to save me, love. It's not fair she's stuck in our dungeon, unable to even touch, but still able to watch," he said.

She reached for his hand, threading her fingers through his. "He said ... that they could be strengthened. Maybe that would be enough? At least for sometimes? Or ... or maybe there are spells..." She frowned thoughtfully, then her eyes went wide, and he felt a sudden surge of fear shoot through her.

"What, love?"

"I ... I've read about ... um... 'channeling'. If it works, then, well, if you wanted, she could ... I would let her ... I..." Pandora stumbled over the words, scared and nervous.

Gabriel laughed. "Love, that would be kind of pointless, don't you think?"

She shook her head, not looking at him. "N-no. You could still do things together. With ... someone else."

Gabriel shook his head. "No, love. I can tell you right now none of us would like that."

"But it would be fair," Pandora said quietly. "She'd get the chances she didn't have, and you c-could be there for her."

"No. It wouldn't be fair to you," Gabriel said. "No."

"It ... it wouldn't do any harm to me. Probably I wouldn't even know wh-what happened."

"That's the point. If you're going to be involved, love, you should get to be involved. It's a bad idea," he said.

"I just ... I feel bad for her, too," she admitted quietly. "I wish ... I don't know. The idea of her always there scares me. A lot. But sometimes ... I could do that, if it were possible. Maybe if there were somebody who wouldn't mind ... you know... 'sharing'? I don't know, I'm sorry."

Gabriel looked at Lucien. "My ex-wife killed herself to save me. She's a ghost, stuck in my dungeon. What could they do for her?"

Lucien shook his head. "Not much more than I already mentioned. They could help her cross over. Or give her the strength to do more as she is. Lucifer could take her into hell, and promise that you could be together there, someday. None of them would order one of their people to allow another soul to possess them. They might be willing to ask for volunteers, but it would be unlikely, to be honest, that they'd find someone."

"Wait," Gabriel said, slowly. "This sounds kind of, um, ghoulish, but ... what about a body that didn't have a soul?"

Lucien blinked, actually looking surprised. "I ... ah. Hmm. That's an interesting idea," he said slowly. "I personally know of at least one demon who is walking around as a human due to something like that, but it was a very special case. I'm ... not really sure about that. It would take the intervention of divinity to make the body her own, but I don't see any reason it couldn't be done. If an appropriate body could be come by ethically, of course."

"Well, don't souls end up in Hell, at least some of them?" Gabriel asked.

"Souls do, sometimes. Souls of people who have joined us and wish to remain in Hell rather than reincarnate, and..." Lucien sighed, "Souls of people who believe that they deserve the traditional Hell, as well."

Gabriel nodded. "So ... couldn't we find one of them and ask them if we can have their body?"

"It wouldn't be that simple," Lucien said, "Even if they did still have a living body, and were aware that it was living, there'd be no guarantee that it would be a young, mature, female body suitable to the soul. And even if it were, there would be mundane legal aspects ... what if the body were married? What if it were that of a criminal due for sentencing? I'm not saying it's impossible, but the logistics are ... complex."

"Point. But it's doable, at least in theory," Gabriel said.

"In theory," Lucien said. "In practice, it might take quite some time, but there's nothing to make it impossible."

Gabriel nodded, slowly. "And the cost?"

"If you are one of ours, then we will try to help you, and the same goes for the soul you speak of," Lucien said. "If she would support us, then we'll try to help her ... a soul strong enough to form a visible, audible ghost is someone whose belief we'd value. But there'd also be, possibly, a cost to the soul whose body it was, if the soul still exists. They may have some task that they can't bear to leave undone, some final request that went unfulfilled. That would be between you, and them."

Gabriel licked his lips. "I ... I could live with that, I think."

Pandora sat quietly beside him, her emotions a confusing swirl of fear, hope, sadness, and tender concern.

"You've told us what Pandora could do for you, but ... what can you offer her?" Gabriel asked.

Lucien smiled. "Most people find eternal life to be a rather attractive offer," he said. "But, if it truly doesn't appeal, there are other things. Support. Backing-- financial, legal, and emotional. Training. Protection, until her powers are under her control. Protection, also, from the other beings who are going to want her so very badly. She's safe here in Dallas, and she'd be safe in New Orleans, but outside of those two places, any vampire who sees her will covet her, as will many of your own people and numerous deities."

Lucien leaned forward on the table, his eyes glowing gold. "Do you understand? She can make people believe. That makes her invaluable to gods. She can control people en masse. Vampires will want that as much as they want her beauty and vitality. And the sidhe ... they like pretty things, and they cherish musicians."

"You're saying we can't just sit back and not take sides. Not if we ever want to leave Dallas," Gabriel said.

Lucien ran a hand through his hair, long golden nails flashing, and sighed, seeming truly regretful. "I'm sorry. But no. They'll want her, and they'll try to take her. And the ones I mentioned aren't the only ones, just the most likely. She'd make a marvelous mate for some Pack-leader. There are spells that require a Siren's blood that could grant a human mage amazing power." He shook his head. "She could even arouse the temptation of a dragon when her powers start to grow. You can't protect her alone. You'll need allies. If not us, then someone powerful. Some strong Clan, or Pack, or a god powerful enough to keep you safe. All that's kept her safe this long is the fact that her powers aren't fully developed yet, and she hasn't used them much."

Pandora shook her head, eyes wide in mute denial.

Gabriel bit his lip, and looked down at Pandora. "Love? This choice you have to make yourself."

"I don't want it!" she blurted. "I don't want any power! There's got to be some way to stop it, to get rid of it!" She looked up into Gabriel's eyes, pleading.

"Why not, love?" he asked, taking her hands. "I don't understand."

She shook her head violently. "It's not worth it! I don't want to be anyone's ... anyone's prize, or tool, or ... or whatever! I just want to be with you." Her eyes were glassy, glittering in the black-lit club. "I just want everyone to leave us alone. I want to be normal."

"I don't think that's an option, love. But you'll be with me. I'll never leave you, ever," he said.

Her shoulders shook, and she held his hand tightly between hers. "I just want to be yours," she whispered. "I th-thought I'd finally f-found a way out of all the other cages." A hot tear fell on the back of his hand.

"Love, it doesn't have to be a cage. It can be freedom," Gabriel said. "Freedom to be what you've always wanted to be."

She shuddered. "Being someone's tool, their little wind-up propaganda machine. Smile, sing, be pretty, make people like them ... That's what my mother wants, too. What's the difference?"

Gabriel shook his head. "I don't think that's what they want." He looked at Lucien. "Is it?"

"If it's something that would hurt her, or damage her, then it's not what we want, no," Lucien said, firmly. "That sort of slavery is everything we're fighting against. We want her to do only what comes from her heart ... anything else would be anathema."

Gabriel looked at Pandora. "Tell me the truth, love ... wouldn't you like to make a difference? Help people?"

She nodded, hesitantly, without looking up. "Yes, but ... I'm so tired of being somebody's doll," she whispered. "I'm so tired of performing for a purpose, of being told what to do, how to look, what to say ... it takes all the joy from it."

"Who said anything about telling you what to do, love?" Gabriel asked. "If it's going to be really effective, it'd have to be what you believe. Oh, I'm sure he's right," Gabriel waved a hand at Lucien. "You could probably control them no matter what. But if it's what you really believe, well ... how much better would it be. So I guess the question would be whether or not you believed in Freedom."

She was quiet for a long moment, then, without looking up at him, whispered, "I thought I did. But when I had a chance at it, I gave it away."

"Look at me, love."