Chapter 15

Tandi jumped to her feet, glaring at him. "How dare you! What right do you have to accuse her of something like that?! Isn't it bad enough that you scarred her; do you want to get her arrested, too?"

Gabriel sighed, looking at Tandi. "Look. Maybe it's because I never had a family. Maybe it's because I'm ... what I am. I don't know. But the whole taboo never really stuck. I know a lot of people would have a problem with it, but I don't. I just... " He spread his hands helplessly. "I want her to be happy."

Tandi looked at Pandora where she was scrunched up miserably on Gabriel's lap. "Well, do you think you're doing a very good job of it?" she snapped.

"In the long term, yes." He looked down at Pandora. "Honey ... look at me."

Reluctantly, slowly, she turned her eyes up to meet his.

"It's okay," he said softly. "It really is."

She shuddered, hiding her face against him again. "I ... I don't know what to say."

Gabriel stroked her hair. "Honey ... it's okay. I promise. I'm not upset. Not at all."

"I ... we didn't ... n-nobody was hurt."

"It was my idea, not hers," Tandi interjected. "I pestered her until she gave in. She's totally innocent."

"Guys ... you're acting like you did something wrong," he said.

Even Tandi looked down, awkwardly silent.

"I don't think you did. Nobody got hurt, so I don't see any reason it would be wrong." He paused. "Guys, look at me, please?"

Pandora did so, though reluctantly. Tandi shot him a quick, guilty glance, then looked back at her feet.

"Tandi, please?" he asked.

She sighed, then tilted her chin up with a defiant glare.

"I really don't think you did anything wrong. I don't have a problem with it. It's okay," he said.

Tandi sighed again, relaxing slightly. "Well ... she was right, anyway. It didn't do anything for her that a vibrator couldn't have done. So there's no point in talking about it."

Pandora shook her head. "You make it sound like it was bad. It wasn't, honey. It was still nice. It just ... wasn't enough. It ... just made me want a guy more. I'm sorry."

Gabriel nodded, slowly. "Just like Lissa, but the other way around."

Pandora nodded. "A lot like that, yeah."

"She's really smart. And she did have a year and a half to think about it," he said.

Tandi said, "Leave her alone about it. Just ... drop it. It's not a big deal. It would have been ... nice." She sighed. "I mean, wait until you see her dance ... and it was, well, safe. For both of us. It seemed like a pretty good solution. It just didn't work."

Gabriel didn't move his eyes from Pandora, waiting for her response.

"I... " Pandora shakes her head. "It wouldn't be safe. Not that way."

He shook his head. "No worse than things already are, love."

"No. You and me ... that's normal. You'd get some sympathy, and if you were willing to marry me, it wouldn't be that big a deal. Tandi's 13. And my sister. And they'd assume you made me."

Gabriel shook his head again. "You're only fifteen. I'm screwed no matter what. If you were sixteen, yeah, it might make a difference, but not at fifteen."

"But I'll be sixteen soon. She won't be sixteen for years."

"Once we're married, people won't think anything about her coming over to visit you, or even spend the night. And until then, I'm screwed."

"Right. Time for the iron poker." Tandi glared at him pointedly. "You're a pushy sort, aren't you?"

Gabriel looked at Tandi and smiled. "Have you heard her say she doesn't want to?"

"Well maybe I don't want to, you think of that?"

He cocked one eyebrow. "No. Because it's not true." He smiled crookedly. "You might not be interested in doing anything with me, but you definitely want to with her."

"So does anyone of the appropriate orientation who's ever seen her. So? That doesn't mean I want to be anyone's second place."

"If you were bonded to him, like me," Pandora said quietly, "You would be just as important. Not second place."

Gabriel's eyes widened, but he didn't speak.

Tandi shook her head firmly. "No way. Even if it were him I wanted, I wouldn't do that. That's closer than I'm willing to get with anybody, thanks. But it's not him. I mean, yeah ... he's pretty enough to be a girl. And there's the pull that he has. It might would be fun. A nice first time. But I wouldn't want to be stuck with him."

"But ... it's so ... you'd feel differently, if you did it."

Tandi nodded. "I know. That's why I won't do it. Ever."

Gabriel said, softly, "It's not me she wants, love." He looked at Tandi. "Are you sure? What if you had the chance to do it with Pandora?"

Tandi sighed and shook her head sadly. "No. Not even then. I love her dearly, but ... that's too much."

He looked thoughtful. "Too much what?"

She shrugged. "Too intimate. Too close. Too much ... dependency."

"But there's just as much support as dependency." He shook his head. "It's your decision, but ... make sure you realize what you'd be losing. It's not just the ... the emotions."

"I know. Dora's ... stronger than she was. That's easy enough to see. But the idea of not being able to live without somebody, anybody, that's just ... creepy."

Pandora said quietly, "Tandi's very ... independent. I understand."

Gabriel nodded, slowly. "I guess so. But ... Tandi, what makes you think you'd be second place?"

"Because of the bond, and because she doesn't want women. She might have fun, yeah, but that's all."

Gabriel shook his head. "Sexually, you couldn't satisfy her alone. The rest ... well, yeah. The bond might be a factor. But if you really think that the fact that she's not gay would stop her from loving you, you owe her an apology."

"Don't be silly. I know she loves me. I never doubted that. And I'm not saying I'd turn her down, either, if she wanted to try again. But it'd have to be on a 'just for fun' basis, because that's really all she has to offer a female, and that's cool with me, I love her no matter what, " Tandi said.

Gabriel shook his head violently. "No, it is not!"

Pandora looked up at him, startled. "Gabriel? Honey, what's wrong? It's her choice, you know..."

He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get mad, it's just ... you're saying that all Lissa had to offer me was 'just fun'. And that's not true. Not at all."

"Oh love ... that's not what she meant at all." She looked over at Tandi. "Right?"

Tandi shrugged. "Can't speak for anyone but me. However, I meant, in addition to what she already gives me ... what we give each other and always will. And that's a lot."

Gabriel asked her, quietly, "What wouldn't she be able to give you?"

"Her full attention and the number one spot in her heart. I'm a greedy bitch ... I want it all, or I want the option to find it somewhere else."

Gabriel was silent for several seconds. "I don't think that's possible. But ... if she was willing, I'd be willing to share that number one spot, and her attention. Because I want her to be happy." He shook his head. "No, I want her to be fulfilled. And I don't think she could be without you." He looked up at Tandi. "I don't think she can be whole without you."

"I'm not going to abandon her, just because I don't like what she's ... chosen. We look out for each other. We always will, no matter what that means, what it takes. If you knew what this fucked up family was like ... well, you'd understand."

Gabriel held up a finger. "Just a second." He leaned down and whispered in Pandora's ear. "What do you want? If you don't want her like that, that's fine ... but if you do, then I want you do have what you want, if it's possible. But ... if not, she deserves to know that. And if so, she deserves to know that, too."

"I ... I don't know. It might would make it easier on me, help me learn not to be so jealous, because I can't be jealous of my sister. And I feel bad, because ... I wanted it to work. I know that's ... strange. But it was always just us. We couldn't trust anyone else."

He nodded. "You're in the same position Lissa was, with the same problem. Only the sexes are reversed."

She hesitated before answering. "No. Not really. You don't lose a sister just because you don't want to have sex with her. Most people, it'd be the other way around, even. And we love each other, but it's not the same. And it's not going to change even if I say 'no'. I haven't got anything to lose, because I already have you. But I really don't understand how you can even offer when you nearly broke that pizza-guy's neck just for looking at me ... unless you want two women that badly."