Chapter 9

Betsy called me back the following evening.

"We had a nice talk," she said. "But it was just preliminary. Nothing to report. We're meeting again, later in the week. Bye!"

She hung up! Damn, the woman loved to tease me. Oh, I could call back, and she'd string it out a little, but I knew Betsy wouldn't have anything more significant to tell me, and I knew she wanted me to call back, just for the satisfaction. So, reluctantly, I let it pass.

Four days later, she called me again -- in my office at the University. "How'd you know to call me here?" I asked.

"I didn't. I tried the house, and your cell phone, and this was my third shot. Gotcha!"

"You and Shirley get together again?"

"Yep."

"Any news?"

"Yep."

"You gonna tell me what happened?"

"Yep."

"You know any other words or phrases?"

"As a matter of fact, yes, I do."

"What happened?"

"We had a really nice lunch, at that French place? What's-its-French-name? Really good! You know, you really ought to be buying my lunches. And Shirley's, too. After all, I'm working for you."

"What'd she say?"

"She says she's found a job. It's nothing special, she said -- some kind of office job in the credit department at a furniture store. But the hours are flexible, and she'll be able to come and go, to classes and stuff, when school starts. She was very pleased about that."

"Great. What else?"

"She said all it took was just to see you, or hear your voice, and it made her panties go damp."

"She didn't say that!"

"No, she didn't. --But I read it between the lines."

"Don't tease me, Betsy, please!"

"OK. Well, she knows, of course, why I keep asking her out to lunch, and with me buying. I think the restaurant I took her to this time was impressive enough to make her feel a little guilty, about stringing me along."

"So you talked some substance, then?"

"Oh, yeah. I just asked her, right out -- not first thing, of course, but over a glass of wine after lunch. I just asked her right out, whether you interested her at all, and she said, 'yes, of course' you did."

"'Yes, of course, ' I interested her?"

"Yep. Of course you did, she said."

"So. I mean. Did she sound, like -- convincing? Like she really meant it?"

"Yes, Chad, she sounded like she really meant it. Is it so hard to believe? I mean, c'mon, Chad, you're not that awful, as men go! She said she knew she'd been pretty hard on you, about the investigation into her past, and all."

"Anything else?"

"Oh, yeah, quite a lot else, really. She's a lively girl. And you're right -- she's damned intelligent. She's going to make a really good college student! And all the professors are going to be wishing they could get into her pants. Of course, you know all about that already, don't you?"

"I don't know why I mess with you at all, Betsy. You're such an unmitigated smartass! Tell me what else you talked about."

"No."

"No? What do you mean, 'no?'"

"I warned you, right at the beginning, me 'n Shirley were probably going to talk about a lot of stuff that wasn't for your ears. We've come a long way, as the Virginia Slims people keep telling us, but we penis- challenged types still gotta stick together."

"So what am I supposed to do now?"

"You're supposed to call her up. I'd also suggest sending flowers, candy, all that nonsense. That stuff doesn't really fool anybody, but, hell, it can't hurt!"

"So you're saying if I call her, she'll talk to me?"

"Absolutely. Risk-free. You just call her up, ask her out, treat her good, let her set the pace, and I suspect, Chad old boy, you will, eventually -- that's eventually, I emphasize, there -- you will be, in the ancient-but-apt phrase, "in like Flynn."

"You really got positive vibes, then?"

"Chad, I'm not going to give you any details."

"OK, OK! So, how do I play it, Betsy? Do I scrupulously avoid any reference, whatsoever, to her past life in California? Do I avoid asking even the most innocent question about what she's been doing for the past fifteen years?"

"It seems, to me, she's willing to talk about those times. Maybe eager, even. But, yes. --I mean, no, you shouldn't initiate any questioning about those times. But I'm guessing she's going to give you chapter and verse, over time."

"I'm really at a loss, here, how to deal with her. I'm afraid, Betsy! She kind of, went off like a firecracker, before. I wasn't ready. And she comes at you out of the sky with stuff -- like a goddamned fighter pilot -- we were discussing some meaningless thing and all of a sudden, she asks me something like have I seen any of her skin movies."

"Chad, I can't teach you, over the telephone, how to relate to women. I mean, damn it, man! Act natural! Be yourself! Don't be a dick, any more than you can help. And for chrissake, don't be afraid of her! If she starts telling you something about her past, it's OK to ask a simple follow-up question. You don't have to pretend you don't give a damn. She damned well already knows that you do give a damn! Just be decent to her, Chad, and reasonably sympathetic."

"OK."

"Take her on a boat ride."

"What?"

"Don't take her to a ballgame, or another fucking movie. Take her out on the river. There's a dinner cruise, thing. She'll love it."

"Good idea."

"And Chad?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't be afraid to, y'know, touch her, either. Don't treat her like you're in the seventh grade and have never been alone in the same room with a girl before. Kiss her goodnight, y'know? Hold her hand, or something."