Chapter 9: the wedding

Friday morning started the same as usual but around noon, Rick and I were left to our own devices. Before she left Shannon leaned over, kissed me, and said, "I will see you tomorrow and you had better not be late for the ceremony."

My parents showed up around 2:00pm and we sat around and bullshitted for a little while. At about 5:00pm Julie came and got my mother for the bridal shower, I looked around the beach and there were a few guys but not one girl in sight so Rick said that he and my dad were going to take me out for a few drinks. I said sure and I promised them I would have at least a couple of adult beverages just to appease them. They led me over through the Hotel lobby and into the bar. They had everything set up for stag there and other than the fact there were no strippers, (Shannon told Rick she would rip his balls off if there were strippers) it was a pretty good party, at least what I was able to remember of it. I was passed out pretty early.

Saturday morning I woke up with a hangover in some strange surroundings and when I got out of bed and scratched my balls I found out they had been shaved that night before. I looked down and all I could see was that some sick bastard had written all over me, "Property of Shannon. Do not touch". I stumbled into the bathroom had a shower, none of it would come off so I got out and dried off. I looked around for my clothes and there weren't any. There was a video tape standing up on the top of the TV. It had a sign on it saying "watch me" so I went over and put it in the machine to watch it. It started out with me entering the bar last night and went from where I passed out to everybody pulling all my clothes off and taking me to a strip club. Here they hired one of the strippers to shave my balls then she shaved my chest. ApparentlyI woke up in the middle of this and she kissed me and did a lap dance for me (I vaguely remembered parts of this as I watched it). I had another drink and passed out again. They stretched me out across the dance floor and had all the girls write on me, they flipped me over and wrote all over my back as well, nothing above the collar though. Then they took me on a tour of the island. I must have been in every bar in the city, and right there by my side was my dad protecting me. Hah! he was the one paying all the strippers to kiss me! One of them even tried to give me a blowjob but I was so far gone and passed out that she couldn't get me hard.

Then it ended with them taking me to a Hotel somewhere down town and bringing me to this room, there must have been fifty people in the room. They all wished me a good night and left me there, so that is where I was now. Oh well I guess if you are screwed you are screwed, I would have phoned one of the Hotels and have them send a car for me but there was no phone book and looking around I couldn't even find a phone. I tied a towel around my waist and went downstairs to find a phone and the clerk told me my friends said I would pay for the room in the morning. I didn't have any clothes or even a wallet, how the hell would I pay for a Hotel room. He said he needed the money right now or he would call the cops. I went back up to the room and realized I had left the keys in the room so now I couldn't even get back into the room. I went down the back stairs and snuck out of the hotel.

Once I was on the street I realized I was going to have a real problem getting even a cab as there were none in sight and this was really the slums so I started walking in the direction I figured would take me back to my hotel. I probably walked 5 blocks before I saw anyone outside but at least I was getting into an area with stores and restaurants. I saw a couple getting out of a cab about a half a block away so I started running and caught it. I convinced the driver that this was a wedding hoax and that I could pay for the cab as soon as he got me back to the hotel. He was laughing all the way back to the hotel; I didn't think it was quite that funny.

Once he got me back to the hotel I went straight to the front desk and asked the clerk to pay for the cab and give him a $100.00 tip for bringing me back. There was no one in the lobby and when I walked across the beach to the bungalow there was no one on the beach either, everyone must have had a good time last night and were sleeping I thought.

I went into the bungalow and got dressed, then I went to the restaurant to eat. I was sitting there trying to decide what to do with my dad as he was the instigator in all of this when he and mom walked into the restaurant. They came over and sat with me like nothing had even happened. I asked mom how the bridal shower was and she blushed and said it wasn't that bad, pretty tame she said, then dad spoke up and said the stag was pretty tame as well. Pretty tame! If that was tame I wonder what dad's idea of wild was. I excused myself and went back to the bungalow to lie down and get rid of this headache I had.

I slept until Rick came to make sure I was ready. So I had another shower and got into my tux. Rick told me a few times that he had a great time last night but wouldn't tell me who's great idea it was to leave me in a hotel in the slums without any clothes. He did tell me that they had paid for the room and bribed the clerk to give me a hard time.

The wedding itself was fantastic. My voice cracked a little when I said, "I do," but all in all it was a nice ceremony. Eevery one of the employees were invited and lots of the hotel staff showed up as well. After the ceremony we all went back to the hotel for a reception and I shook everyone's hand over and over again. During the supper all I heard was people clanging glasses so we would get up and kiss, Shannon had brought Chap Stick so our lips weren't too bad.

When we finally got a moment alone I said,

"I don't think it was a good idea to invite my parents."

Shannon said, "I don't think it was a good idea to invite my parents either."

I said, "well I have to show you a video tape before we go and get changed."

Shannon laughed and said, "I have one you have to see as well."

I replied giggling, "well I guess maybe the problem was that we let them fly here together and plan all of it. Just how bad was yours?"

"Really bad, there were strippers and shaving and well you will see."

"Yeah it sounds like we got ambushed by the same group; we should get out of these clothes and into something more comfortable, now you have me curious."

We snuck out and over to our room, when we got there we could hear people giggling in our room so we snuck in and then turned on the lights.