Chapter 29

The Army band marched proudly down the parade ground at Fort Benning. On the reviewing stand were the Carlsons, but also the Kramers and the Christians. Ken, Brad and Bill were all in uniform, Ken as a major, while Brad and Bill were both captains. All were wearing the Rangers’ black berets. Kim was also in uniform, but wearing her Special Forces green beret.

The band doubled back on itself, then took position facing the reviewing stand. A moment later, the presidential limousine drew up beside the reviewing stand and the bugler played Ruffles and Flourishes as the President emerged, followed by Kelly Jackson who was also wearing a green beret.

As he climbed up to the reviewing stand, the band played “Hail To The Chief.”

With everyone present, the band struck up “Stars And Stripes Forever.” That was the signal for the Rangers to march onto the field. Leading the way was Alpha Company, 1^st Ranger Battalion: Carlson’s Rangers. As they passed in review, the troops were as proud as they could be. All were wearing combat boots and wearing their black berets. At the command, “Eyes... Right!” every head snapped and the guidon dropped to the horizontal.

Finally the last of the troops passed and they were at Parade Rest facing the reviewing stand.

The commanding general on the stand went to the microphone and announced, “Ladies and gentlemen ... The President of the United States!”

Moving in front of the microphone, the president began, “Troops, stand at ease.

“Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘hiding in plain sight’? An example of that was a mystery entitled ‘The Three-Penny Black.’ It involved the murder of a wealthy man. But after he was killed, there was no trace of his fortune. It turned out that shortly before his death he had converted his money into just a few extremely valuable stamps. Apparently the murderer knew this, but had been unable to find the stamps.

“Where were they? It turned out that the stamps had been affixed to envelopes and were sitting in a stack of mail right on the victim’s desk where he was murdered. The murderer looked everywhere ... but not on the desk where they were in plain sight.

“So what does that have to do with us today? Well, the answer is: a lot.

“Standing in front of us I see a group of fighting men, Alpha Company, 1^st Ranger Battalion. It’s better known, even today, as Carlson’s Rangers. In size, it’s a heavy platoon. In fighting power, it’s an infantry battalion.”

The president paused to look out over the assembled troops. He continued, “Wherever fighting men gather, there’s one unit that’s always mentioned: Carlson’s Rangers. And I mean, wherever! I was speaking with President Solov of Russia a few days ago. When I mentioned Carlson’s, he just said, ‘The finest group of fighting men in the world!’ For those of you who don’t know this, President Solov was formerly Field Marshal Mikhail Solov, commanding all Warsaw Pact forces in the West. He knows whereof he speaks. Moreover, he assured me that his feelings were shared by fighting men around the world, regardless of the side for which they were fighting.

“But it goes on. When I ordered the Department of Defense to inquire into the activities of Alpha Company when it was under the command of Kenneth Carlson, it proved to be almost funny. Everyone knows about Carlson’s. In fact, it seemed to become a game of ‘Can You Top This?’ Everyone had his favorite story.

“And you know something else? They all turned out to be true, although most turned out to be substantially understated.” He paused, grinned and added, “I guess that the truth had to be toned down in the interest of believability.

“But back to ‘hiding in plain sight.’ It’s widely known that Ken Carlson has been awarded medals. A part of the problem was no one was at all sure for exactly which exploits the medals had been awarded. The result? Major Carlson has the Distinguished Service Cross and the Silver Star. Those are two of the three highest awards for gallantry our nation can award.

“But you know what? We have already validated eleven actions each of which is deserving of a major medal.”

Turning to Ken the President said, “Major Carlson, front and center!”

Ken moved up, snapped to attention and saluted.

The president then read the citations accompanying the award of two Medals of Honor. Then without reading the citations, he also awarded two more DSCs, the Legion of Merit, two more Silver Stars and two Bronze Stars.

Turning back to the assembled troops he said, “Thankfully, even wearing full dress, Major Carlson only has to wear miniature medals. If he had to wear them all full size, they might break his back.”

Ken saluted again and returned to his place with Kathy. Ignoring the President and everybody else, she melted her body to his and whispered, “My darling, I am the proudest woman in the whole world!” She paused and then added, “And by the way ... you’re going to be a father.”

Ken was stunned.

“But sweetie,” Kathy whispered, “when you spend so much time between my thighs, these things do happen.”

The President returned to the microphone. “This has been a very interesting exercise, though.” Then he looked pensive, and appearing to be thinking out loud he said, “There’s one thing that puzzles me, though. And that’s the acronym, REMF... [Rear Echelon Mother Fuckers]”

The troops roared with laughter while the President pretended to be puzzled.

“Golly,” he continued, “you folks seem to know what it means. Why can’t I find it in DOD’s book of acronyms?” He shrugged and added, “Oh, well...

“Anyway, as I said earlier, it seems that all the stories told about Carlson’s Rangers are true, although typically the truth is toned down in the interest of believability. But at any rate, DOD started checking ... and validating the stories. Virtually every one resulted in the need to give at least one guy an important medal. But which one? That was the problem.

“Thank goodness Carlson’s never had more than 40 men. If it had been a full-strength company or a larger unit, it would have been impossible. But with 40 men, it was manageable ... just! At any rate, a bunch of guys in the Pentagon started with sand table exercises. Through combat records and interviews, they would take an engagement and locate each of the men. Then the guy who was left over got stuck with the medal.”

Turning around again, he said, “Captain William Baker Christian, front and center!”

Bill was startled, but went up to the microphone and snapped off his very best salute. After calling the troops to Parade Rest, a position of attention, the President read the citation awarding Bill the Medal of Honor. As he placed it around Bill’s neck, he noticed how proud of him Carol Christian appeared. She was bouncing up and down. At the conclusion, Bill saluted again and returned to his place.

Carol leaped into his arms and gave him the most passionate kiss she could, murmuring, “My hero!” Then while absolutely glowing with pride and happiness she whispered, “Did you hear Kathy tell Ken that she’s expecting a baby?”

Bill just slowly shook his head.

“Well, I am, too! Your resident slut has just become your concubine!”

“Oh, sweetie! That’s wonderful!” Bill exclaimed.

“What did you just call me, Bill Christian?” Carol demanded.

“I called you sweetie. Enough is enough! You, Carol Christian, are the love of my life and my wife! Now get used to it, because that’s the way it’s going to be. You’re out of the prostitution business ... permanently! Get it?”

“Yes, my darling husband, I get it,” Carol replied softly. Then she kissed him again.

The president ordered the troops to stand at ease, then continued his address.

“As some of you may know — although none of you are old enough to have actually seen me — I was a movie actor once upon a time. In fact, I was president of the Screen Actors Guild ... and my dues might even still be paid up. I’m really not too sure.

“But in any case, I still have some friends in the industry ... or the business, as it’s often called. Over the last couple of months I’ve been getting an increasing volume of communications from them, all telling me the same thing: ‘See Kelly!’

“So what’s Kelly, you wonder. It’s a brand new motion picture that hasn’t even been premiered yet. But in spite of that, I can’t ever remember such a buzz about a new film. It’s about the beginning of the military career of General Kelly Jackson who is here with us today. As you know, she’s now the senior flag officer in the Armed Forces of the United States.

“The new film only traces the first few days of her military career, during which she essentially stopped the Soviet advance through Germany single-handed. With her in her initial adventure was Michael Callahan, now a lieutenant general ... and Kelly’s husband.”

The President grinned and continued, “I’m not telling tales out of school when I tell you that Kelly is far more proud of being Mrs. Michael Callahan, wife and mother, than she is of being General Kelly Jackson.

“Well, it seems that the new film stars Kimberly and Brad Kramer, another husband and wife team.”

Facing out at the troops, the President commanded, “Troops, Parade ... Rest!”

Again the troops snapped to.

Turning around again, he ordered, “Captain William Bradley Kramer, Jr.! Front and center.”

Brad’s eyes widened, but he moved forward and saluted smartly.

The President then read the citation and awarded Brad the Medal of Honor. As he was hanging it around his neck, he turned to the mike and said, “This medal joins his Distinguished Service Cross, Silver Star, and Purple Heart. Bill Christian also holds the DSC and a Bronze Star. I should add that the fine folks in the Pentagon are still doing their thing, so more medals will be awarded. On the other hand, we don’t want to lose you troops to heat prostration, boredom, or whatever, so we’ll just make do with the most senior awards today.”

Brad saluted again and returned to his place. Again the President ordered the troops to stand at ease while he continued his speech.

“So what do we have? We have a Medal of Honor winner playing the rôle of the winner of a DSC. Pretty good, huh? But what about the female lead? Who’s going to play the rôle of Kelly Jackson? Well I already gave it away. It’s Kimberly Kramer who is also up here on the podium.