Hi Cous,

Sorry I don't get around to writing more often, but you know me. Retirement has been great, but I seem to be more active then ever.

BTW (sorry, I'm so used to computer lingo I tend to use it in everyday) Anyway, did you ever get around to looking at any of the stories I written? I know there's porn there, too. But I like them cause I can put almost anything in and it goes out. I even have a couple people who told me they liked one or another of my crap. Take a look, it won't make hair grow on your palm.

Well, I was going to tell you about Halloween. I had to wait a couple days to get it all straight in my head. One of the crazy things, I think I saw one of them at the bakery the other day.

Anyway the day even started out weird. You know I keep a bowl of roasted peanuts by the door to feed the squirrels. They are nutty little beggars (sorry about that, couldn't help the pun) And they give me and the missus, along with the birds visiting the feeders, tons of entertainment every day. Ooops, there was another. Some of these birds have no judgement. One just tried to land on the perch on a feeder, overshot and crashed into the window. Not the first time, either. Maybe for that bird, but maybe not.

Anyway I saw one of the two squirrels who visit every day so I grabbed two peanuts, opened the door and stepped out. This one was the one we call skinny tail. He's young, this must be his first winter, and his tail hasn't 'bushed' all the way out yet.

Skinny tail is pretty skitterish, and when I opened the door he was right at my feet. So I quickly dropped a peanut on the deck. He scampered over to grab it. He'd no more than got in jammed in his mouth, they look pretty funny with one sticking out the side, when he flipped around and tried to go from 0 to 100 in one step. He didn't quite make it. Out of he corner of my eye I caught Bushy Tail streaking across the deck. That danged youngster had snitched one of his nuts!!!!

Skinny Tail hadn't gotten two steps when Bushy was on him. You know those buggers have BIG teeth. Skinny gave the darndest squeak I've ever heard, kind of like a loud, shrill YEEP, put it in high tear and smoked across the yard and around the corner of the house. Bushy was about six inches behind him.

That left me holding a peanut in my hand, so I stepped out away from the door, made a kissing sound and actually CALLED, "Hey, squirrel, come back here!"

Now who was squirrelly then, let me ask?

I'll be damned but it wasn't me. About three seconds later Bushy came running back around the corner and scampered right up to my feet! I gave him his peanut and stood there while he shelled and ate it.

Can you believe that? The thing actually came when I called!!

Well that started the day, little things like birds fighting over a particular perch, ignoring the other eight.

I'll not give you a run down on the whole day, but I do have to tell you about trick or treat time.

The way our house is situated we don't get many kids at the door, which I miss. I've always got a kick out of the little ones getting all these treats from total strangers.

We had one, about five, who came by and got stage fright. He forgot what to say. His mom was standing maybe ten feet behind him and prompted, "Say Trick or Treat, Randle."

So he got it out, scared as could be at this old white haired joker standing in the door. So I held the bowl holding the snickers bars down. I had to coax him to take two!

We've had Halloweens when not a kid showed up. Most of the time the last few years we were left with three bags of candy that I had to eat. The missus will take one at the most.

So this year I only bought the one bag. I figured I'd end up eating the whole thing again this year.

And it seemed I was right. By 7:30 I'd only had the 5 year old. I almost turned the light out at 8:00 but was engrossed in a book and couldn't be bothered. So we had a couple boys around 11 years old come by. When I shut the door after them I grabbed a couple snickers myself, might as well start on the me now.

I didn't turn the light out right away to give the boys time to get out to the street. By this time the missus was engrossed in some research on the computer and the blinds were pulled. After a moment I turned off the porch light and went back to my book.

I'd not much more than settled in my easy chair when someone was banging on the door again.

I climbed out of the chair, grabbed the bowl of candy and opened the door, which by this time had already been hammered at least twice more.

As I opened the door I could hear some giggles. I didn't bother turning the light back on, just opened the door.

There were an "indeterminate" number of young girls clustered around the door. They were at least four deep!

My first guess was they were some cheer squad; could have been from one of the high schools, even maybe from the Community College. At first guess I figured there were at least a dozen outside. AT LEAST! As this went on I upped my estimate. I wouldn't have been surprised if there were more than two dozen young women, very nubile young women, wearing all sorts of costumes. It was chilly out but even so some of those costumes were almost more than an old man's heart could stand.

I had stepped out onto the porch, either my first mistake or the first right thing I did all day. Now surrounded by nice looking girls (ain't it wonderful how the older you get the better looking the young girls get?) When I held out the bowl it was like looking at locust descending on a corn field. Hands came from everywhere and in a flash the bowl was empty. I'll tell you, I don't think half those youngsters had a snickers!

There was a brief pause when one of the girls (one who I had seen get a candy bar. No way I could miss an athletic girl, maybe 5 foot 11 inches and VERY nicely curved) Anyway I heard her say, "Well, ladies! Guess that means a TRICK!"

From the back a very girly voice asked, "What kind of Trick?"

There was a brief huddle around the tall girl (they were in all sizes from about 5 foot up to miss loud mouth, all in costume of some kind and all looking F-I-N-E!)

Before I knew what was happening I was grabbed by at least three girls per arm, the front door was shut, I knew that because it got a lot darker, and pulled out into the center of my deck. Before I could say a word the tall girl gagged me. It was nice, though. She covered my mouth with hers and sent her tongue down my throat. It wasn't something I really minded. I'm sure you understand that.

A feminine voice asked, "Remember what we were talking about before that last toke?"

"Oh, yeah! Do you think he'll go along with it?"

"He don't have any choice. This is OUR trick remember?"

It was dark and I had no idea who was talking what. All I knew was that they were definitely feminine and a lot of them.

"Shoot girls, no way he'll mind. Look at him there. We have his arms pulled out from his body but he ain't making any try to get away. And from the look in his eyes he's kind of enjoying Janey's smooching him."