Chapter 21: Steep Grade - Check Brakes

Once Carissa and I were in the car, Carissa sighed deeply.

“It’s strange, but I feel better that Mom knows about what happened that night,” she said softly.

“Yeah, but the way you told her, you didn’t say you’d seen anything, you made it sound like it was just a wild dream of mine.”

“Better that than telling her that I knew it happened,” she snorted. “By the way, I don’t blame either you or Corinna for that.”

“You don’t?” I glanced over at her in disbelief.

“No, I don’t,” she gave a short bark of laughter. “If I’d protested or if you guys had snuck away to have sex behind my back, I might have had a reason to be pissed off, but that’s not what happened. That night you two both looked at me before you did anything as if you were asking my permission and I don’t know why, but right then I thought it was a good idea.”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” I pulled over and parked on the side of the street, not daring to drive at the moment in case she shocked me any more.

“I know; it’s a weird reaction,” she sighed, then grabbed my hand. “First off, Corinna and I are twins, okay? We’ve shared so much and in some ways we’re so alike, but at the same time, Corinna always seems to get the shitty end of the stick. Because of that, I always give in an extra little bit to ... well, I guess to make allowance for what always seems to happen to her. On top of that, I knew you’d make her happy for a while, besides it would mean you would always know in your own mind that you’d had sex with both of us. In a way, I guess I felt I owed you that much for being such a wonderful guy to both of us.

She paused and then sighed even more deeply. “I guess I wanted to give you a chance to compare us as lovers too.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I held up one hand as if holding off that idea. “That’s not how I see things at all. I’m nice to you because I like you. I like Corinna too, but nowhere near as much, because she has that weird streak that actually frightens me a bit. I’m not being nice to earn any sort of privileges or rewards, and I’m certainly not trying to compare the two of you in any way.”

“I know that, but that night I was pretty drunk, remember,” she laughed softly then her gaze sobered and she frowned. “If I’d known she’d quit using the pill, I like to think that I might have reacted differently. I certainly don’t want you to have to be the daddy to her kid. That’s another reason I tried to cover your ass with Mom and told her you couldn’t get it up.”

“But what if it is mine and not Wil’s?”

“Tough,” she snapped. “In a way, Wil and Corinna deserve each other, at least I think they do. Both of them dive into things without thinking and both of them blame any problem they happen to encounter on others. Surely you see that?”

“Yeah, I guess, but they’re so much alike that they’d be bound to squabble and fight if they were married or even just living together.”

“At first, yes, but I think being together would force both of them to grow up.”

“Maybe, but I’d feel damn stupid about having my brother raise a kid that might be mine,” I managed to say quietly.

“Well heck, he is your brother, how would you ever tell if the baby wasn’t his?”

“You forget, he’s only my half brother. His mom and mine aren’t the same.”

“That doesn’t matter, I don’t think there’s any way they could tell,” she shrugged her shoulders.”I think they’re working on that though, so I guess I could be wrong. Someday maybe they’ll be able to test for something like that I guess.”

“How would they do that?”

“Didn’t you take biology? Everyone has chromosomes and the mother and father each pass on half of their chromosomes to their kid. I think there are labs working on that all over the world, but I guess it’s pretty complex.”

“Well, whatever you say, I really don’t understand that too much. All I remember is that they said everyone has differences in their chromosomes, even twins.”

“Well, I’ll be honest, I don’t believe she’s pregnant, so I’m positive we aren’t going to have to worry about it.”

Carissa chopped each of her words off short. I’d been around her long enough to know that meant she was done with the discussion. With that in mind, I started to put the car in gear again.

“Say, why did you pull over?” she asked then.

“Well, I didn’t want to be driving if you said something that surprised me,” I chuckled. “After all I really didn’t know what you were going to say on the subject because I didn’t know how upset you were about it.”

“Hmm, I can see we’re going to have to talk about this over a coffee when we’re completely alone and out of the car, maybe tonight.”

I just glanced at her and kept my mouth shut. At that moment I was thinking that she might be having a change of heart and I really didn’t want to talk about it at all if she was going to get angry. She didn’t say anything more though and it was only a few minutes before we pulled up in front of the cafe again. Even as we got out of the car I could tell that Dad and Uncle Tom had gotten done all they wanted to do and had no major problems. You could hear their voices all the way out in the street and could instantly tell that the two of them were in a good mood.

Once we stepped inside everyone grew quiet, then Mom asked how Corinna was doing. I left it up to Carissa to explain what was going on.

“Oh, the silly fool thinks she’s pregnant,” Carissa blurted out.

Suddenly there was dead silence and Wil turned bright red.

“Jeez, Carissa!” I snapped. “Couldn’t you be a little more diplomatic?”

“How can you be diplomatic about that?” she wheeled on me. “Heck, even if she is up the stump, it’s way too soon to tell. The doctor as good as told her that flat out, but she doesn’t want to believe him. Corinna is just being a damn drama queen again. She knows if she does that, she gets attention.”

“I wasn’t worried about Corinna right now; I was thinking about Wil,” I frowned.

Carissa’s face fell and she turned pale.

“Oh God. I’m so sorry, Wil,” she said much more quietly. “I’m positive that she’s not pregnant though. For a minute I forgot that this affected all of you as much as it does Chris and me and my family. It’s just that we’ve been covering her butt for years with all the weird things she does and...”

With that she spun in my arms and hugged me tight, crying on my shoulder. Mom was on her feet and at her side almost instantly with Aunt Alice not far behind. Somehow they eased her hands from around my neck and moved away to another empty booth at the far end of the cafe.

That left me standing and looking at all the guys in my family. I walked over to Wil and sat down at his side.

“Sorry, guy. I think I agree with Carissa and her mom, I think the doctor is right that it’s too soon to tell anything. On top of that, I agree with Carissa on the other thing too, from what I’ve seen of Corinna she does overreact to things. I really wouldn’t be surprised if she wasn’t unconsciously creating enough internal stress to be screwing up her own body, just from anger and jealousy,” I snorted softly. “It got so bad last week that we had to bring her into town before she drove Carissa and me up the wall. In a way that might have been a bad thing because it left her sitting at home, stewing on her problems and getting worse. But I don’t know what else we could have done.”

“Chris, you can’t always solve everyone’s problems,” Dad said quietly

“Yeah, but I like to do my best not to make anyone’s problems any worse than they already are,” I sighed.

Thankfully, Uncle Tom changed the subject at that point and started talking about the Hydro and telephone line project up at the ranch. He and Dad explained that two lines of poles were going to have to be run in and that the cut through the bush was going to have to be at least twenty feet wider and preferably even more than that. On top of that Hydro had mentioned a service road of sorts and that bothered me.

“Wait a minute, do you mean we’re going to end up with a road coming in from that end of the ranch?” I asked.

“Well, not a road as much as an access route, probably something that only a four-wheel drive vehicle could manoeuver over. Even then we can put in a gate at the property line and slap up some no trespassing signs,” Dad said thoughtfully. “We don’t have to clear the way for a road down the cliff or build a crossing over the creek either.”

“I’m not sure I like the idea of any kind of access road at that end of the property,” I sighed. “But, I suppose you have to take the bad with the good.”

“I agree, but at the same time, a person can take a few precautions,” Dad grinned at me. “Now, Tom and I were talking about this project and we were looking at the map of Hydro’s planned approach of Jason Dumfries’ supply lines. Did you realize that Hydro is going to swing the line down within a quarter mile of the present road into the valley?”

“Why would they do that?” I frowned. “Jason Dumfries’ road doesn’t come anywhere near Grampa Bender’s.”

“No, but Jason has a switchback road down Double Canyon. I guess running a hydro line up and down those cliffs would be a real problem, mostly because they’d have an awful job setting poles in the rock of the cliffs at that step angle and they need to have that service road along the line. They detoured onto crown land so they could miss the canyons completely,” he explained.

“So what does that mean?”

“Well, instead of coming in on the top end of the ranch, what would you think of having the line come in near the existing road and across the Grampa Bender’s upper lease? It would mean about another half mile of feeder line, but it would be a lot less work for us. We’d probably have to clear the alternate route with Hydro and they’d have to approach the provincial government about running across more crown land, but it would certainly simplify things for you. Most of that upper bluff in that area is only covered in sage and scrub brush. One or two passes using a cat with a dozer blade on it would clear a useable track,” Dad smiled. “You could borrow our cat if you want and young Tom can haul it up on something like Frank Dolens’ flat deck. I think he’d rent it to us if you asked him.”

“Well it sure sounds simpler to me,” I shrugged. “Do you think Hydro would mind the change in plans?”

“Actually I noticed a lightly penciled line drawn on the plan when I was looking at Hydro’s map of the area. It follows that route almost exactly,” Uncle Tom grinned. “I think they’ve already done an aerial survey, so I expect that when the surveyor comes out on Wednesday, he’s going to suggest that route to you. I’d recommend that you let him argue you into going along with the idea.”

“Well, that’s fine with me, but we haven’t even talked to Grampa Bender about any of this.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that. Your Mom and I plan on dropping around to see him this afternoon, so I’ll handle that end of things,” Dad waved off my concerns. “Right now I think it’s time we had something to eat, don’t you?”

It seemed everyone agreed with him, even Mom, Aunt Alice and Carissa. Fifteen minutes later, we were eating. Right after we were done, Carissa and I jumped into the car to go back to the ranch.

As far as I was concerned simply too much had happened in too short a time span and I was still trying to wrap my thoughts around it all. I think Carissa must have been as deep in thought about everything as I was. In fact we hardly spoke during the drive back to the cabin.

It rained all the rest of Monday and most of Tuesday as well. Most of Monday, Carissa and I were very quiet, doing a lot of thinking, but Tuesday we spent most of our time talking, cuddling or quite often, quietly making love. In some ways it was idyllic, but we really didn’t accomplish much.

Mom called us on the CB late Monday evening to let us know that Grampa Bender had not only recognized them when they’d dropped by, but he had even been able to sign some papers that Dad had with him about the Hydro and phone installation. He’d also insisted that I was to be paid a small salary from the maintenance budget for the ranch for the work I was doing. On top of that he’d insisted that he wanted to see his lawyer, somehow that surprised everyone. He literally refused to say what he wanted to talk to the lawyer about, but everyone guessed that it was his will. Dad called and made the arrangements for him, but I think it frustrated Dad when the lawyer wouldn’t tell him anything either. In a way I knew how he felt, but at the same time it tickled me that Grampa Bender was still so darn independent and such a tease. I was actually chuckling about it when Mom and I finished our talk on the CB and signed off.

Over those two rainy days, since I wasn’t doing any hard work, I’d found that I could spend most of my time with the plastic cast removed from my hand, but I was very careful not to try to do much with it. Carissa loved that. She said making love to a guy in casts was getting to be very old, so those two days made her quite happy. I resolved that I’d try not to wear the cast in bed, but after one sharp bump while we were asleep, I modified that resolution. Instead I told her that I’d take the cast off while we were making love, then I’d put it back while we slept. She just grinned and suddenly I was inundated by a loving woman.

I think that two-day break was just what the doctor ordered. if anything, Carissa and I were even closer than ever by Tuesday night.

Wednesday morning dawned with blue skies and bright sunshine. Since it was such a nice day and since there was quite a bit of washing that needed to be done, Carissa informed me that she wasn’t going to be helping me in any way that day. I offered to help her, but she turned me down, reminding me that I was going to be involved with the surveyor from Hydro instead.

In fact the surveyor showed up not long after we’d done our chores and had breakfast. He came wheeling across the bridge in a bright yellow Jeep. Parking his Jeep beside the one already in the yard, he hopped out with a grin on his face and his hand extended. His name was Mark Jackson and he impressed me instantly by being friendly and up front with me. It didn’t hurt either that his first comment about the place was how great it looked. Another thing about Mark that impressed me was his work ethic. He wanted to get things done quickly, but at the same time he wanted them done well. Not ten minutes later we were inside the cabin, holding mugs of coffee in our hands as we looked over a mess of maps and plans spread out on the kitchen table.

It turned out Uncle Tom had been right. Mark, the surveyor, was a slightly pushy individual and he never even gave me a chance to propound the idea of coming in with the service line from the top end of the ranch. Instead he chose two maps and proceeded to prove to me that it would be to both Hydro’s and our advantage to have the service line come in across crown land near our road way. We were going to end up paying for more wire, but fewer poles, so in the long run it would actually work out cheaper. It seemed that the cost of running wire was a lot cheaper than the cost of installing poles.

The winning argument for me was the fact that they would be improving the present access road to the ranch as well because they’d need all weather access for maintenance. They even insisted on bridges and culverts across the streams and gullies that we’d always forded. Not only that, but Hydro was going to be responsible for clearing the right of way across crown land. Then I was astounded by the fact that he hauled out an agreement and told me that before they left town on Monday, Dad and Uncle Tom had dropped by the Hydro office again and let them know that I had authority to sign an agreement on routing.

Once I’d looked over that agreement, the surveyor and I climbed into his Jeep and began to actually survey the route. I showed him the approximate position of the central pole in the yard and we went from there. Mostly what we did was to set up a theoretical line toward a point that he’d already picked along the edge of the break of the cliff face on the east side of the valley. That’s when he told me that he and a helper had been out the day before and had worked out a survey across the crown land. When he said that, I knew he’d been certain that I was going to go along with his idea before he even met me.

Inside of an hour we had wandered around, looked over the whole area and even driven his Jeep to the base of the cliff. Then we’d driven back to the access road and up the grade so he could show me the stakes they’d put in across crown land the day before. When we were standing next to his last stake from the day before, we were right at the edge of Grampa Bender’s property line. I grinned when he told me that they hadn’t wanted to trespass, but wanted to have permission instead. I liked that attitude.

At that point he glanced at my casts and asked if I was up to hiking down one of the gully’s that cut its way down the cliff to the level of the ranch. I just grinned and set off at my best pace, looking back and laughingly asking him if he was coming or not. In only a few minutes we’d decided that the gully was no good for either an access road or Hydro poles; it was simply too steep and too crooked for either one.

By noon we’d come to the conclusion that the aerial survey hadn’t shown how steep and rugged that section of cliff really was. He’d almost decided that the best way to gain access to the valley was actually a choice of either having a pole at the top of the cliff and another all the way down at the bottom with a huge span between, or else roughly following a route along the present road down into the valley. I could tell he wasn’t happy about either choice. Instead of making up his mind that day, he wanted to go back to town and get a helper as well as some more equipment. He dropped me off at the cabin and disappeared up the hill once more.

I didn’t know what to do, so while Carissa and I had lunch, we had a talk. We decided that the thing to do was to hang her laundry out on the line, then to take the car and head down to talk to Dad and Uncle Tom about the new route of the feeder line.

It was fairly early in the afternoon when we pulled into the yard at home, but there didn’t seem to be anyone around. No one answered our calls at the house or around the barn and I was almost ready to drive over to Uncle Tom’s when I heard the sound of a hammer. We followed that sound and discovered Mom, Dad and Wil laying out stakes in the area where Dad wanted to build the new equipment shed. When Mom saw us, she came rushing over to hug us both.

As soon as I saw her face, I knew something was wrong. Then I realised that Dad looked very sober and Will looked almost as if he was on the verge of tears.

“What’s the matter?” I asked Mom as she held Carissa in a tight hug.

Mom just shook her head and pointed toward Dad, then turned and guided Carissa away toward the house.

“Dad? What’s going on?” I walked toward him.

He took a deep breath and looked at me with the saddest expression on his face that I can ever remember seeing.

“It seems that Corinna tried to commit suicide last night,” he said very quietly. “She’s in the hospital right now.”

“But, why didn’t you call us on the CB,” I stared at him blankly. “Carissa should be there.”

“Her parents didn’t want us to tell Carissa, but I don’t know why. In fact I can’t comprehend what’s going on with them at all,” he said, shaking his head and now even he was crying. “I just don’t understand. They don’t want Wil there. They don’t want you there. They don’t want us there. They don’t even want Carissa there. It just doesn’t make sense to me because they’re pushing us all away.”

At that point I felt weak kneed and I don’t know why, but I walked away. I suppose I was reasoning that if I moved around I wouldn’t fall down. I was walking in a daze, lost to the world around me and not even thinking, just wander around by habit, trying to puzzle out what was going on. When I came to myself, I was leaning against the gate that lead out to the wheat field, gazing out at the quietly waving, wind blown wheat.

One question kept repeating itself in my brain; ‘Just what the hell was going on?‘

I was still leaning against the gate, gazing out at the long, slow waves travelling across wheat field when I heard someone approach from behind and cough quietly. I turned enough to look over my shoulder and saw Wil standing there, then simply cocked my head to signal him to come over.

“If you’re planning on taking Carissa to town in order to see Corinna and her folks, I think I should come along,” he said as he moved up and leaned on the gate beside me.

“Do you think that’s wise?” I asked.

“Hell no, but I think it’s probably better to do that than it would be to sit here and mope around, blaming myself and everyone else for things,” he spoke quietly.

“Well, before I say either yes or no, I think we need to talk to Carissa,” I said unemotionally, looking him in the eye. “First off, I want to know whether she wants to go in to town despite her family’s wishes. Secondly, I think before you go, we should talk to the folks and see what they think.”

“Actually, I ran the idea past Dad already,” he sighed. “He suggested the same thing you did, so we need to talk to Mom and Carissa. Dad’s gone for a walk because he’s trying to think of a reason for either of the Coulters insisting that Carissa stay away.”

“Did he ever think about the fact that Carissa is a twin and that they might be worried about what seeing Corinna in a screwed up state might be more than Carissa can handle? That’s what worries me, because I’m certain that she’s going to want to be there at Corinna’s side, no matter what happens.”

I’d managed to say the words without breaking down, but I was feeling darn close to tears. I knew that whatever happened, this screwed up suicide attempt was going to change Corinna in ways I couldn’t imagine. At the same time, I knew it was going to affect Carissa as well. If I admitted the truth, I was even frightened that it would affect Carissa to the point where it would change the way she felt about me, at the moment that was the most scary worry that hung in my mind. It left me with the same feeling a hail cloud on the horizon gives a farmer; it was coming my way and there was absolutely nothing I could do to protect Carissa or myself.

“Oh. I don’t think he thought of anything like that,” Wil said, rattling me for a few seconds until I realised he was talking about Dad and his worries.

I shrugged it off, deciding that Dad was going to have to figure that one out himself. At the same time I decided it was time to go find out what I could do for Carissa. With that thought in mind I spun on my heels and headed for the house. My sudden decision must have taken Wil completely by surprise because he took a moment before he realised I wasn’t still standing at his side and turned to follow me.