All rights reserved, copyright (c) Janna Leonard, 2004

I drove away from Chicago with mixed emotions - depression because I'd lost another job, the 5th in as many years, and elation at being set free from the suburban school system. I was 28 and without a partner, and my Jeep was loaded with my belongings as I sped south on the Interstate. I had decided to take some time off from city life and gather my wits, maybe do some introspective thinking and choose a different vocation. Teaching hadn't worked out very well so far; it might be time to change direction.

I stopped at Bloomington and spent a few days with Mom, sleeping late and shopping. She was in her late 50's and frail-looking, more so now that she was alone. She suggested I go to our cabin, and I agreed it might be the perfect place. I repacked the Jeep with the essentials and headed south once more. The cabin was our family hideaway, a large A-frame nestled into the hillside with a pond nearby. I thought lots of trees and solitude might improve my attitude.

Growing up in a northern suburb of Chicago, life was good and nice things were the norm. We had money, my allowance was very generous and I was one of the few who had a car in high school. I also had a desire to teach, but dealing with the kids who didn't care had been emotionally draining for me.

I still missed my Dad, the one who'd been there for me the most. He had a no-bullshit way of dealing with life's problems. When I'd come to him at 17 with the confession that I thought I might be gay, he gave me a hug and said, "You're still you".

All my closest friends in high school had been gay or asexual, more interested in their art or their craft than putting another notch on the bedpost. I dated a few guys in high school, but I never got attached to any of them like I did some of the girls.

My first girlfriend was just like me, horny but inexperienced. We caught each other staring one day at the pool and embarrassment gave way to curiosity. We introduced ourselves and sat talking for a long time, eventually deciding we could be friends. Sleepovers ensued, a glimpse of thigh here and a touch of a breast there, and before we knew it we were head over heels in love. Our sexual relationship ended when I went away to college, but I still get a card from her at Christmas, full of the things she and her partner are doing. My last lover had gone on to something new; she didn't like the city or her job, and had made a major life change. I had wished her the best and kept on working, saddened by her abrupt departure.

I call the place "Rock Haven", about 70 acres of hilly scrub and stunted trees on County Road Y. The pond out front is the only level place on the whole property, an oval about 200 feet long and half as wide. Family legend says that when my Dad excavated it, he took a break for lunch and when he came back the borrowed bulldozer was underwater. The water is always cold, even in summer, so I think it's fed by an underground spring or river. Dad had built a raft of oil drums and planks, and I still remember sunbathing nearly nude on it as a teenager.

I spent the night outside St. Louis in a motel, rising bright and early to hit the road. Late that evening I turned off Interstate and drove down the county road, looking for our driveway. Easing the Jeep down the overgrown path, I stopped by the pole and unlocked the breaker box, turning on the power. A few yards farther down I parked the Jeep and got out, relishing the silence. Grabbing my overnight case, I locked up and went into the cabin. I'd need groceries and gas for the mower but tomorrow was soon enough. I turned on the water heater and checked the place for bugs, then headed for bed.

In the morning I made coffee and sat on the porch, enjoying the quiet. I made a list and unpacked the Jeep, cleaning as I went. I put on a thin cotton sundress and sandals for the trip to town, looking forward to an afternoon on the raft.

Waynesville was the same, a lot of uniforms and people hurrying from one place to another. I shopped for a couple of hours, loaded my purchases and headed for home.

It took several trips up the stairs to get everything inside and put away, and afterwards I put on my black bikini and grabbed a towel for my afternoon by the water. Wading through the frigid water and climbing on the raft were just as I remembered - ice-cold toes and sun-warmed shoulders.

Over the next few days I cleaned some more and stored things in their proper places, organizing the place like I wanted. I doubted my Mother would come and visit, even though she had intimated she might. I also began spending more time nude than ever before, especially at the pond.

My body was nothing spectacular in my opinion, but it looked good with a tan. I'm about 5'9" and 120 pounds, with brown hair worn long and hazel eyes. If my butt was a little smaller or my boobs were a little bigger I would've been more content, but nobody's perfect.

On Saturday I woke up late and sat on the porch with my coffee, letting the sun warm my toes. I wanted to spend the day at the pond working on my tan, so after a brief visit to the bathroom and loading my cooler, I grabbed my towel and bag and headed down the path. I rounded the last tree and came to a halt, staring. An old Valiant with a faded paint job was parked near the trees with the door open. A woman was trying to put on a bathing suit, muttering under her breath. A white butt and pale breasts declared her a non-nudist, definitely a visitor.

Not wanting her to see me nude, I backed out of sight and put my stuff down near a tree. Running for the house, I wondered what she was doing here. The property was posted on all sides; I'd checked the signs. I put on my bikini and walked back down, gathering my things. I took a deep breath and walked into the open toward her and the car. About halfway there she saw me and started, her hand going to her mouth.

"Hi, I'm Vanessa Holmes," I said, gazing at her.

Quite pretty, she was about my age and slim, filling her suit nicely. I guessed about 5 feet 6, B cup, with short red hair and long legs, the shapely ones that models have, along with a nicely rounded bottom that wasn't completely covered by her suit. Her toenails were painted hot pink, complimenting her nicely shaped feet.

"I'm Donna Stoddard," she stammered, lowering her blue eyes.

"Did you know you're on private property?" I asked, putting my cooler on the ground.

"Ye-yes," she replied, blushing.

"Why do you come here?" I asked, taking a step closer.

"Look, I'll leave if you want, please don't call the cops, ok?" she pleaded, backing away from me.

"Just tell me why you came," I said.

She hesitated for a moment and said, "It's a nice place to relax, do a little thinking."

"For me too," I replied, "first time I've been here in years."

"You own the place?" she asked.

"My family does, me and Mom now," I replied.

"I've been coming here for two years and never saw anyone. I thought the place was abandoned," she said.

"I'm here for the summer," I replied, "schoolteacher."

She smiled and said, "I teach too, out at the Fort."

"American History and freshman soccer," I said.

"Radio communications," she said.

"You in the military?" I asked.

"For now," she replied.

"Why don't we take a load off and have a beer?" I suggested, sitting down.

I opened the cooler and pulled out two cans, handing her one.

"Thanks. You sure it's ok if I stay?" she asked.

"Glad to have the company," I assured her.

The next few hours were enlightening, she told me she joined the military to get away from home. A whiz at electronics, she found radio to be an exciting hobby and talked to people all over the world. I shared a little about me and my family, telling her the bulldozer story and a few others. She was fun to be with, had a girlish laugh that made her boobs jiggle and an infectious sense of humor.

Toward evening she sat there quietly staring at the trees on the other side of the water, perhaps thinking of the reason she had come today.

Out of the blue she asked "Are you alone?"

I nodded and said "There's been no one for a while."

Standing up, she said, "Thanks for letting me stay; I feel better."

"You're welcome anytime," I replied.

She rolled her towel and slipped on a pair of shorts and an old sweatshirt over her suit, definitely a modest person. I knew I'd have to work overtime on my tan to get rid of the lines I'd acquired today, but it had been worth it.

I put our empties in the cooler and draped my towel over my shoulder, preparing to head up the hill. As I walked past her car, she stepped forward and grasped my hands, saying, "Thanks again for today," and leaned to give me a small peck on the cheek. It wasn't anything special, the kind of kiss girlfriends everywhere give each other, but I was close enough to smell her skin and the tanning oil she used. The look in her eyes told me she was very grateful, and I sensed rather than saw the loneliness behind them.

"You're welcome," I replied.

On impulse I moved forward and brushed her lips with mine, feeling the softness of her mouth. It was quick, but I hoped the look in my eyes would let her know I was definitely interested. Neither of us had declared our sexual preference openly, but I could tell by her shy glances that anything was possible.

The moment passed and she cleared her throat and said, "Well, until next time then."

I nodded and watched as she got into her car and started it, backing up carefully to avoid the trees. Smiling and waving out the window, she made her way up the hill and onto the road, leaving me in silence. I sat on the porch and drank a few more beers until the mosquitoes got too bad, then went inside and showered, getting ready for bed.

I tuned the radio to an easy listening station, humming along with the ballads I remembered, reliving the events of the day. A kissable mouth for sure, shapely body ditto, (much nicer than mine!) and very pretty feet, that second toe just the right amount longer than the rest. I don't know why, but I've always been attracted to strong-looking feet and toes. And her smell, that delightful aroma of tanning oil on warm skin, made more special by her unique feminine scent that teased my nose. I mentally abused myself for not being more aggressive, then fell asleep with my hand between my legs.

She didn't come back the next day, so I mowed the grass around the cabin and down by the pond. She didn't appear the next day either, and I went shopping in Waynesville for more food, then cleaned up the place until dusk fell.

After my shower, I sat on the porch and drank some more beer, listening to the frogs. I thought I must be obsessed: I couldn't get her out of my mind for more than a few minutes at a time. I fervently hoped the "next time" would be soon or else I'd go crazy.

The weekend arrived and I was sitting on the front porch with my coffee, kicked back in my chair with my feet up on the railing. I heard a shout and a squeal of bad brakes, then an engine coming closer, growling like it was in low gear. I stood up just in time to see a large van squeal to a stop a few feet away from the back end of my Jeep. An older man looked out the window at me, his expression unreadable. Several windows were open and I heard a muffled "Whoo-hoo!", making me realize I was standing there nude. I blushed and ducked inside for my bathrobe, returning a few seconds later.

The driver was standing at the bottom of the steps by this time and I asked, "Can I help you?"

"Yes ma'am," he replied. "Are you the owner?"

"Yes, I'm part of the family that owns this place," I said.

"Well, we've been coming here for quite a while now and haven't ever seen anyone in the cabin; we assumed it was abandoned," he said.

"Well it's not!" I exclaimed. "We haven't used it for some time is all."

Turning to walk away, he said, "Sorry to bother you. "We'll go someplace else."

I heard a couple of groans from the van along with a loud "Shit!"

The faces I could see were all young and mostly female, so I said "Wait a minute!... Can you come up here for a second?"

He climbed the stairs and I opened the door, motioning him inside.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Master Sergeant Theodore Atkins, ma'am," he replied.

"Who are they?" I asked, pointing to the driveway.

"My troops from the Commo school. I treat them to a beer bust occasionally," he said.

"They were looking forward to it, weren't they?" I smiled.

"Yes ma'am, they were," he replied.

I knew that Fort Leonard Wood was a training base, but what kind was a mystery to me. I also knew that the local cops treated the military in a less than friendly fashion most of the time, and maybe a party was what I needed to lift my spirits. It was known locally as "Fort Lost In The Woods," and comprised 96,000 acres of the kind of ground I was standing on, namely not good for much else.

"Tell you what Sarge," I said, "if you guarantee there won't be any trouble that'll bring the cops down here, you go ahead and have your fun."

His face lit up in the first smile I'd seen and he reached to shake my hand.

"You won't regret it ma'am. There won't be no trouble," he said.

"Vanessa, Vanessa Holmes," I replied... "Pleased to meet you Vanessa. Call me Teddy," he said.

I watched as he ran to the van and got in, quieting the passengers. I got a small wave from one of the back windows as it slowly drove down the hill and turned left out of sight. I put on my black bikini and walked out the door for the pond. Halfway down the path an old station wagon pulled up behind me and tooted it's horn. I stepped off the path and said "They're that way!" as it drove past. The driver was a blond and she had several passengers in the other seats, dressed for a day at the beach.

When I arrived near the parked vehicles, preparations were in full swing. Two washtubs full of ice and beer were on the ground and a tall dark-haired kid was trying to light a portable grill. Dressed in a suit that barely covered his pubic hair, the bulge within was impressive. Teddy wore blue swim trunks and had a redneck tan, his arms and neck were brown with the rest a pasty white. Another guy was sorting through a large cooler, dressed much the same as the cook. The girls wore little or nothing, exposing large amounts of skin in varying shades of brown. I watched as one stepped out of her clothes and waded in the water with a towel and a small cooler over her head, headed for the raft.

Four or five others followed her, and in a few minutes they were all stretched out with oiled bodies gleaming in the sun. Teddy saw me and walked over, handing me a can of beer.

"Thanks again for letting us stay," he said.

"No problem," I replied.

"They work hard and don't get much time off, I keep 'em together and do a little partying: helps increase their sense of being on a team," he said.

"What do they do?" I asked.

"Teach communications, radios, telephones, stuff like that," he said.

I nodded and asked "You think I'm overdressed for the occasion?"

He laughed out loud and said, "Makes no never mind to me, I'm a happily married man, but to some maybe you are... your choice though."

I decided I'd keep the suit at least for now and walked to the grill.

The tall kid with the Speedos thanked me and said "I'm Gary, you want a burger?"

"Sure," I replied, taking the offering in one hand and sitting on a nearby stump. The skinny blond kid yelled "Chow's ready!" and bent to give Gary a quick kiss on the cheek, smiling. He stood beside Gary and helped serve as they came forward in twos or threes for the food.

During the afternoon I was introduced to most of them as they came forward to say thanks. I let them know the bathroom in the cabin was available but the rest of the cabin was off limits. I sunned and drank beer with them, listening to their stories about Army life.

Toward dusk, I heard Sergeant Atkins rounding up his people, urging them to get packed up and ready to go. One of the girls came up to me and kissed me lightly on the cheek, saying "Thank you" softly in my ear. Her suit was tiny, allowing me a peek at her breasts down to the nipples. I felt a little twitch in my lower belly at the sight, reminding me that it had been a long time since I'd had company in my bed.

"You're welcome," I replied, giving her a little hug.

Before they left I stood off to one side with Teddy and asked, "Do you have a girl named Donna in your unit, red hair, nice legs?"

Teddy laughed and said, "Yeah, I do. She stayed at the Fort today. She's working through some personal problems right now."

"Oh," I replied, "tell her Hi for me, will you?"

"Will do," Teddy said.

I snuggled into the comforter in my loft at bedtime, relaxed and happy, glad I had helped them enjoy their day but disappointed at not seeing Donna. In the morning I had my coffee on the porch, listening to the birds chirping and squirrels barking at one another in the trees. I realized my life was full and rich with all kinds of opportunities, only lacking in the romance department. I'd never made a pass at anyone I worked with, following my Dads' sage advice of "don't pee in your own pool". Chicago is full of clubs and bars that cater to my kind, but I missed waking up to a smile from someone I cared about.

A few days later I was eating lunch and the phone rang.

I picked it up and a woman's voice asked, "Vanessa?"

"That's me," I replied.

"This is Donna, from the other day? I'm sorry about not making it to the party, but I wonder if I could come out today? I'd like to talk to you."

"Sure can. I'll be here all day," I replied.

About an hour later I heard the sound of an engine coming down the drive, and I stood to greet her. Donna climbed out and came to the porch, wiping her forehead with her sleeve. She wasn't in uniform unless you counted the army green T-shirt over her shorts. Barefoot, she looked tired and depressed.

"Hi, what can I get you to drink?" I asked.

"A cold beer would be nice," she smiled.

She sat with her head down and her elbows on her knees, twisting her can and thinking of how to begin.

"You remember the day we met?" she asked.

"How could I forget?" I laughed.

"I've been thinking about you a lot since then," she said.

"Me too," I replied.

"In the Army they say 'don't ask, don't tell', but I have to know. Why did you kiss me that day?"

"Because I wanted to," I replied, "and because you looked like you wanted me to."

"I did, but not for the right reasons. I wanted to be close to somebody, anybody," she said.

"It was a nice kiss anyway," I replied, smiling.

"Well, people tell me I wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm too open with my emotions. I know I'm naive, but I don't know what to think anymore!" she said, frustrated.

"Those things are ok around some people," I said, "but there are some who take advantage."

"That's why I wanted to talk to you today. I feel like I can trust you. I don't know why, but I do," she said.

I took a sip of beer and said, "Go ahead."

"At the party, did you see a blond girl with a little white suit, about 5 foot three?" she asked.

"Mmm-hmm," I replied.

"Well, that's Judy. She's the reason I didn't come that day. We've been dating for a few months and we broke up last week," she said.

"Did she say why?" I asked.

"She wants to experiment, have sex with other people, she says 'to see if what we have is real'," she replied.

"Oh bullshit!" I exclaimed. "She just wants your permission to sleep around!"

"Well, she's doing it," Donna replied, a sad look on her face.

"Did you bring your suit?" I asked, thinking a swim might brighten her up. She shook her head no and I said, "Well, let's take a dip anyway, you might feel better."

Her clothes did little to hide the fact she was a female in her prime, young and healthy with a beautiful body. I watched as she stripped out of them on the porch, her firm breasts with delicate pink nipples coming into view. The shorts followed and I saw the curls between her thighs matched her hair, a rarity. She blushed and smiled, apparently nervous at being exposed.

I handed her a towel and we walked slowly toward the pond, her nicely-shaped ass jiggling with her steps. We swam for a few minutes and got out to lie in the sun, sprawling on the towels side by side.

"I feel better now," she said.

Feeling the need to let her know how I felt, I asked, "What makes you think you need someone to make you feel whole?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, raising her head to look at me.

"You ever hear the old saying 'a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle'?" I asked.

"No," she giggled, "but I like it!"

"Me too, because what it tells me is that if I have a relationship, it's because I want one, it's not because I need one. The difference between want and need is desperation," I said.

"Oh," she said quietly, my opinion of life sinking in, her head slowly dropping to her towel.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in and out of the water, keeping cool and getting tan, sharing confidences and little secrets that new acquaintances do so as to be closer friends. I wanted to get to know her better, and possibly make love with her. I could only hope she felt the same way.

That night in my bed I ran my hands over my body, pleasuring myself and imagining they were hers. I couldn't get the image of her little pink nipples out of my mind.

Sarge called on Friday, asking if he could bring a few people out for the weekend, and I said yes.

"Is Donna coming?" I asked.

"I think so, you want me to call back when I know for sure?" he replied.

Not wanting to appear too anxious, I said, "No, that's ok, I'll see you guys in a bit."

Checking the bathroom for extra toilet paper and tidying up the living room took a few minutes, and I heard the sound of engines in the drive. I stepped out on the porch and waved as they went by, hearing a couple of shouts of glee and anticipation.

I gave them a minute or two to get things set up and walked down nude, carrying my towel. As I rounded the trees the scene looked much the same as before, except there were three vehicles and a few more people. Finding Teddy, I said hi and helped myself to a beer. I looked for Donna, assuming that a redhead would be easy to spot. I couldn't see her anywhere so I said hi to Gary and Dennis and spread my towel at the edge of the water. Disappointed she hadn't come, I was about to go back to the cabin when I heard her call my name.

"Vanessa! Over here!," she yelled, and I saw her standing on the other side of the pond, frantically waving her arms. I folded my towel, grabbed my beer and waded across to join her. I felt a little strange when I climbed out, she looked me up and down like she was inspecting me, grinning all the while.

"You're gorgeous naked!" she exclaimed.

"You've seen me before," I said.

"You're so brown now!" she said.

She was all giggles and smiles as she offered to share her blanket and I sat with her, catching up on her doings at the Fort. We splashed at the edge a couple of times and she got out a bottle of lotion. As she oiled me I had some nice memories of people in the past, sharing small things like a back rub and the same tanning lotion. I thought it might be nice to share those things again with someone I cared about.

"How are you and Judy getting along?" I asked.

"Rumor has it she is sleeping with three other people. I don't want in the middle of that," she replied.

"Busy girl," I chuckled.

"Too busy for me," she said.

I was on my stomach and Donna was lying next to me, her arms over her head. I opened my eyes and peeked at the soft tender skin of her underarm, right where it met her chest. Slightly wrinkled and covered with almost invisible downy hair, it looked like a perfect spot for a kiss. She increased my horniness a notch when she sat up and pulled off her suit, lying back down and asking, "Do you mind?"

"Of course not," I replied, " you look good without a suit."

The tan lines were sharp and clear, the brown of the tan giving way to her white skin and those pretty pink nipples. I closed my eyes and mentally drifted, feeling my pussy ooze a little.

The portable radio was playing something soft and romantic and I felt her hand grip mine and give it a little squeeze.

"It's nice being here with you," she said.

"Mmmmm," I replied.

"I've got a 72 for this weekend," she said.

"A what?" I giggled.

"A pass, for 72 hours. I don't have to be back until Monday morning," she said.

"Great!" I said, wondering whether she was trying to wangle an invitation to stay with me, or if she had other plans. She didn't say anything else, so I thought I'd investigate another source, a 'good option' as my Dad used to say.

"Be right back. You want anything?" I asked as I got up.

"I'm good," she said, pointing to her small cooler.

I swam across and got a beer, then went in search of Teddy. I found him in the front seat of the van, dozing.

"Teddy, talk to me," I said, waking him up.

Once he sat up, I continued, "Did Donna get her 72 from you?"

"Mmm-hmm," he said. "I give out all I can."

"Did she say what her plans were?" I asked.

"Something about spending the weekend with somebody," he replied.

"Thanks Teddy," I said, "you're a big help."

"Can I tell you a secret?" he asked.

"Please do," I smiled back.

"Her bag is in the truck. Personally I think she wants to stay with you," he said with a grin.

"Mmmmmm," I murmured. "Thanks Teddy, see ya around."

I picked up 2 more beers to cover the real reason I'd left and walked around the pond to rejoin Donna. She was sitting up, munching on a bag of chips and drinking a beer when I arrived and plopped down.

"Got room for these in your cooler?" I asked.

"Mmm-hmm," she mumbled, pointing at it. I stashed one and opened the other, leaning back.

"What are you going to do on your 72?" I asked.

"A bunch of us usually rent a motel room and get drunk, party a little," she said.

"Is that what you really want to do?" I asked.

"No," she said shyly, dropping her eyes. She reminded me of me with my first girlfriend, shy, tentative and bashful, not knowing if what I asked for would be met with enthusiasm or disgust.

"So what are you going to do?" I asked.

"Could I stay here with you?" she asked, her eyes gleaming.

"As long as you don't snore," I laughed.

She giggled and that took the edge off the conversation, leaving us both an out if the need arose. We hadn't mentioned bed at all, or where anyone was going to sleep. If we clicked, maybe something would happen. If not, at least I would have some pleasant company for a couple of nights. I stretched out on my back and closed my eyes, waiting for evening.

Teddy got his troops together around 6 o'clock, getting them dressed for the trip back.

Donna said, "I've got to go back with them and get my car."

"I'll drive you back Sunday night or whenever," I replied. Suddenly I realized she may not have wanted everyone to know she planned to stay with me. Maybe some weren't gay and didn't understand, or some of the other girls would make fun of her.

"Or not," I said.

"I'll come back as soon as I can," she said, kissing my cheek.

She got in the van and drove up the hill, leaving me to walk. Hurrying back to the cabin, I cleaned the kitchen and picked up stray clothes from the floor. Putting some stew on the stove to heat, I took a shower and sat on the couch in my robe, waiting.

Seven o'clock came and went, as did 8. I ate supper and did the dishes, turning the radio on low. At 8:30 I heard her old beater rattle it's way down the hill and stop, then the slam of the squeaky door.

Quick steps coming up the stairs and then a series of hard knocks, her voice calling "'Nessa?, it's me!"

I opened the door and saw a different person. She'd taken the time to fix her hair and put on a little makeup, highlighting her blue eyes. Dressed in very short white shorts with a matching halter top, she displayed her tan to perfection.

She had a small bag in her hand and dropped it on the floor, telling me, "I'm sorry about this afternoon, I'm not very brave."

"That's ok, you're here now," I smiled. "Can I get you something to drink?"