Chapter 1

Responsibility is perhaps one of the most complex words in the English language. Written down on paper, it is fourteen characters long. It is pronounced using six syllables. Whether it is written down or spoken, the word is significantly larger than the average word. Despite that, it is still too short of a word to convey a concept so significant. It is a heavy word; just ask anyone who strives to live up to an unpleasant responsibility. Responsibility can weigh a ton.

A responsibility is a long term obligation. We carry it with us as we travel through life until the responsibility has been fulfilled. Our conscience reminds us of it whenever we are offered a divergence from our everyday existence. Will this diversion interfere with this or that responsibility? If the answer is yes, we shoulder our burden and continue past the diversion ever mindful of our responsibility. Sometimes we go on with the diversion, but the activity is tainted with guilt.

Life would be so simple if only one responsibility was placed upon us at a time, but life is not like that. Life is lived under the burden of many responsibilities that range from minor to major; from trivial to significant. Each time that someone depends upon us, another straw is added to the camel's back. That is the true essence of responsibility — someone depends upon us.

Responsibilities can conflict with each other. One will demand that we act in one way while another will demand just the opposite. Regardless of the choice that is made, someone will be hurt. People of moral character will feel bad for having let down the person who depended upon them.

At times, responsibilities are accrued faster than can be satisfied. All it takes to place a responsibility upon a person are the simple words, "I need you to... ," along with some demand. There are times when the load becomes too heavy. One can try, with varying degrees of success, to shift them to others in an attempt to remove the load from their backs. One can try to dodge some responsibilities.

It is not immoral to attempt avoiding new responsibilities. It can be a desired or necessary act because of the potential that responsibilities will overwhelm one to the point where they can't keep them. Sometimes people are overwhelmed and fail to live up to the demands placed upon them. Those who depend upon them are hurt and they feel guilt.

At times, a person can satisfy their responsibilities faster than they accept them. As a person grows old, they lose them faster than they can accrue them. Children grow up and the responsibility of raising them passes from the shoulders of their parents. A person retires from employment and, in the process, they lose those job responsibilities.

If person lives long enough there comes a day when they wake and discover that they have satisfied all of their responsibilities. It would seem that a life without responsibility would be a wonderful thing to experience, but it isn't. Ask any old person on whom no one depends if their life is good. The answer will be bitter and negative. They will shoulder any responsibility just to feel alive again.

Watch an old person taking care of a crotchety old dog sometime. See the care and attention that is lavished upon the ill-tempered beast. The old person will tolerate growls, bared teeth, and even occasional bites without too much complaint. The dog is a reason to get up in the morning, to make it to the market to purchase food, and to sleep at night to be ready for another day. It is the responsibility to care for the old dog that keeps the person alive.

A responsibility can weigh a person down while giving them a reason for living. They can force a person to choose who they will hurt when their responsibilities are in conflict. While a person can curse responsibilities for their negative impacts on their life; all know that their absence would be a curse.

Responsibility ties a person down. How well a person satisfies their responsibilities influences those around them far more than their beauty, wit, or intelligence. Perhaps fourteen characters are too few for such a complex word. Perhaps the six syllables roll of the tongue too easily for something that is so significant.

William woke at four in the morning in response to some inner call to action and rolled over to watch Lucy sleeping. She was so beautiful that it took his breath away. He leaned over and kissed her bare shoulder. She stirred and asked, "Is it time to get up?"

"I have to go now," William answered.

Those simple words were enough to chase away any thoughts of sleep. Lucy sat up and said, "I'll walk with you."

"No. I need you to tell Oliver that I am going into the glade and that all of the Druids should be watching events at six. I need you to stay here and watch Oscar in Jerusalem," William said. He caressed her face and said, "Your presence among the other Druids is as close as I can come to making sure that Oscar's sacrifice is appreciated."

"I'll do it," Lucy said accepting his request. She knew that she would be there for him when he came out of the glade.

"Thank you, Lucy," William said rising from the bed. He went into the bathroom to take care of his morning necessities.

Lucy stayed in the bed while thinking about how difficult the morning was going to be for her. William had told her what he wanted her to do for him. She was to be present and make sure that Oliver Brown and Ed Biggers told everyone there what to expect well before Oscar made his sacrifice.

After taking care of the bathroom necessities, William went over to his suitcase and pulled out some jeans and a tee shirt. He was dressing for comfort rather than formality. The outfit that he wore was very similar to what his father had worn when he had met the Goddess in meadow in Colorado so many years earlier.

"You're wearing jeans and a tee shirt?" Lucy asked looking at the clothes he had selected with a frown.

"I'll wear a coat, too," William answered.

"Isn't that rather casual for meeting with a God?" Lucy asked. She felt that if she was going to meet a God or a Goddess that she'd want to wear something special.

With only his left leg in his pants, William hopped around trying to get his right foot into his pants. Not entirely surprised that she was concerned about his clothes, he answered, "What should I wear? A suit? A Tuxedo? I think it doesn't matter what I wear. The Two- Sided One is more interesting in the person inside the clothes rather than what the person is wearing."

"I don't want you to insult him," Lucy said. After a second, she added, "Or is he a her?"

"The Two-Sided One is both," William answered zipping up his pants. He grabbed his tee shirt and started to put it on.

"Why don't you guys have drawings of the Gods and Goddesses?" Lucy asked.

"We would, but we don't know how to represent them. I think that each of us experiences them differently and no one experiences them in their entirety. Is a picture of a mountain representative of the Earth or is a desert valley a better one? How does one capture the wind in a drawing?" William answered.

Lucy watched William put on his socks and cowboy boots. His Native American skin and Caucasian features combined to make him a very handsome young man. His long black hair was tied in a ponytail that hung down his back. It was a very personal statement of his roots in the Native American community. She asked, "Do you want me to braid your hair?"

"No. I'll wear it tied back today," William answered. He looked over at her when he finally got his foot into his right boot. Smiling, he asked, "Are you afraid that the Two-Sided One is going to look at me and think that I'm not taking this meeting seriously enough?"

"I just want you to look good for him," Lucy answered with a shrug of her shoulders. The gesture made her breasts move in a very attractive fashion. If William hadn't already been dressed, the sight would have brought him back to bed for an hour's diversion.

"I love you, Lucille Desi Carter," he said.

"I love you, William Redman Carter," Lucy said taken by surprise by his declaration of love. She got out of the bed and searched through her luggage for a clean pair of panties. Upon locating a pair, she slipped them on. She pulled out a simple dress from her luggage. It was just a moment before she had slipped the dress over her head.

"I'm going to get a quick bite to eat," William said glancing at the clock. It was just shy of four thirty in the morning. He had to be in the glade at six o'clock in the morning. That time corresponded to noon in Jerusalem.

Lucy went over to William and kissed him. Holding him in her arms, she asked, "Do you want me to join you?"

"I would like that very much, but there is too much for us both to do," William answered. He kissed her again and said, "I should go now."

"Go," Lucy said feeling like she was sending a warrior out to do battle without knowing if he would return. Despite William's assurances that all would be right, she still harbored some doubts deep inside.

"I love you."

"I love you," she said. She watched him step out of the bedroom knowing that he'd be changed when she next saw him. Licking her lips worriedly, she hoped that the changes would not be too great. She loved him as he was.

William walked to the glade eating a donut and drinking a cup of hot coffee. The air was cold and a brisk wind made it feel even colder. He shivered inside his jacket thinking that he should have worn a heavier coat. The hot coffee combated with the cold air, but the liquid was losing the battle.

An owl flew past with the whisper of huge wings beating the air. William paused to watch it pass overhead; a dark shape against a dark sky. He continued his journey thinking that the owl had passed without trace while he left footprints in the thin snow. It was a minor mark in his history however temporary that record might be. The thought flashed through his mind that it was a wise old bird that could move through life leaving no record of its passing.

He reached the Carter Glade remembering back to the day when his father had consecrated it with his life. It had been a similar day. There had been a small dusting of snow spread across the ground. He looked up at the sky finding only darkness there. The clouds that threatened snow blocked the stars and moon. He stood outside the circle looking in and remembering his father.

William finished his donut and drained the last of his coffee. He flattened the paper cup into a thick disk and stuffed it into the back pocket of his jeans. A small kernel of fear leapt up at what would happen to him once he entered that sacred ground. Taking a deep breath, he stepped forward and entered the glade.

The party-like atmosphere among the Druids gathered in the first year dining room had died a horrible death after Oliver explained that if Oscar showed up in Jerusalem that it was virtually certain that he was going to die. Somber faces watched the televisions at the head of room. Some of the channels were focused on the crowd, but a few were focused on Oscar as he stepped into the square in front of the Western Wall.