Chapter 13

"I don't know what to do," William said to the wall. He shook his head thinking that he was supposed to make everything all right, but he couldn't. There were just so many problems. He decided that the only thing he could do was to call in some help. The question was — who should he call?

For the bodyguard problem, he would normally have called Ling. Of course, Ling was a problem at the moment. That was another problem. He was going to have to call his father to get him involved. Thinking about Ling and her problems, reminded him that Lucy had gone off to help her. He rolled his eyes thinking about what Lucy was doing. At least she was with the bodyguards. Of course, the bodyguards weren't operating at their best.

He decided that with Ling in trouble and the bodyguards ineffective, that he was going to have to call in additional security. There was only one person who he could call for that -- Claire. She was close enough to the business that she'd straighten out the problems with the bodyguards.

Sighing, he picked up the telephone and dialed his parent's house. When Mary Gold answered the phone, he said, "Let me talk to Ed."

Mary Gold, used to Carter telephone etiquette, realized that there was a problem by the lack of greeting. The call was immediately transferred to Ed. When Ed picked up the phone, he asked, "What's the problem?"

"Momma Ling and Betsy have been arrested in San Francisco. All I know is that two Chinese gangs were involved. Lucy has arranged for a lawyer and has flown up there to take care of the matter," William answered finding that retelling the story allowed him to focus on the essentials of the problem.

"Chinese gangs?"

"That's what I understand," William said.

Ed was silent for a moment and then said, "I'll call Jimmy Lee. He'll check to see if the Chinese mafia has returned to China Town. While he's doing that, I'm going to have a little talk with Ling and Betsy. I don't think they are going to be too happy."

"Well, I hope that's one of my problems taken care of. I guess I better talk with Claire for a minute," William said.

"What other problems?" Ed asked realizing that William was asking for help.

"I have bodyguards that are not getting along with each other, an employee that is threatening to sue me for sexual harassment, and another employee who is about to quit because I haven't had sex with her," William answered. He wasn't going to add that his wife had run off to help his sister and mother without letting him know until after she was gone.

"I'll be up there in an hour. I'm going to bring Claire and Kelly with me," Ed said. It sounded to him like things were falling apart for William and he wanted to make sure that he got all of the help available.

"Momma Kelly?"

"Who else would you talk to about woman troubles?" Ed asked. His history had shown him that it was best to leave the relationship problems to the woman and just go where he was told. He was pretty sure that Kelly would tell him that if a woman wanted to sleep with him that he should show up with a bow tied to his cock singing Happy Birthday.

"You're right. I guess I'll call the lawyer about the woman wanting to sue me," William said with a sigh.

"That's the whole reason I'm going there rather than flying off to San Francisco. Don't do anything until I've had a chance to talk to her. Of all your problems, I think that is your most serious one," Ed said.

"William, I don't know what to say to you," Kelly said with a sigh. She wondered how Carter men could be so blind when it came to women. Shaking her head, she said, "When a woman lets you know that she loves you, you need to respond in some fashion. It is wrong to ignore her."

"Huh?"

"What did I say that was so confusing?" Kelly asked. William's face was a study in bafflement. One would have thought that she was explaining differential equations to a sixth grader by the expression on his face.

"When did I ignore her? When did she let me know that she loved me? How am I supposed to respond?" William asked.

Shaking her head, Kelly said, "I swear you inherited the Carter stupid-about-women gene."

Claire giggled at the comment. William glared at both of his mothers and then said, "That's not helping me."

"I'm sorry, but it is true," Claire said.

"So would someone explain it to me?" William asked feeling more than a little exasperated by the conversation.

"I wish Lucy was here," Kelly said.

"She's bailing out Ling and Betsy," William said feeling irritated at the lack of progress. He had hoped to have this problem straightened out by now.

Kelly looked at William for a second. She'd never seen him that frustrated in his entire life. Sighing, she asked, "Did Lucy ever tell you that Sandra, Barbara, Juanita, Amanda, and Donna wanted to sleep with you?"

"Yes, but I didn't believe her," William answered.

"She was telling you the truth," Claire said shaking her head. William and Eddie could have a woman show up in their bedroom naked and they'd ask if she was there to borrow something to wear completely oblivious to what was being offered.

"Lucy keeps saying that they want to sleep with me, but I've never heard anything like that from them," William said crossing his arms.

"Well, they do," Kelly said.

"Why didn't they just tell me that?" William asked. Gesturing wildly around the room, he said, "If there was someone that I really wanted to sleep with, I'd tell them straight out. I'd just say -- I want to sleep with you. I say that to Lucy all the time."

Claire started laughing so hard that tears came to her eyes. Every time she glanced in William's direction, she burst out laughing again. Giving up, she rose and said, "I've got to get out of here. I can't take it anymore. This is killing me."

"What's so funny?" William asked when Claire finally left the room.

Kelly looked at William for a minute and then said, "William, I'm going to go through this one more time. The women love you. They've told you that in everyway possible except directly telling you to fuck them. Lucy has told you that they want you to sleep with them. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes," William said. The women had never told him that they love him. He hadn't seen any evidence that they wanted to sleep with him. Shaking his head, he said, "I understand what you are saying, but I'm not sure that I believe it."

"Believe it," Kelly said.

"So what am I supposed to do?" William asked.

"Lucy is out of town. Invite Sandra to sleep with you tonight. Tomorrow night, invite Juanita to sleep with you. If Lucy is still out of town, invite Barbara to sleep with you the next night," Kelly said. Seeing the expression on his face, she added, "By sleep, I don't mean put your head on the pillow and close your eyes. I mean, make love to them."

"I don't think Lucy would approve of that," William said shaking his head.

Kelly pulled out her cell phone and dialed a number. William watched as she explained the situation to the person on the other end including details about her proposed solution. It bothered him that she was talking about his problem with someone else. After a minute, she handed him the phone and said, "Someone wants to talk to you."

William held the phone to his ear and said, "Hello."

"Listen to your mother, William," Lucy said.

"Did you hear what she said I was supposed to do?" William asked.

"Yes. Do as your mother says. I'll talk to you later," Lucy said. She had to hang up before breaking into laughter.

William handed the phone back to his mother and shook his head. Kelly asked, "What did she say?"

"That I'm supposed to listen to you and do what you say," William said sounding like a little child.

"So go talk to Sandra about tonight," Kelly said.

William shook his head and said, "This people relationship stuff sure is confusing."

"You have a very serious problem," Ed said looking at William. He didn't know if this problem was going to resolve itself to a positive end. Some problems required years to solve.

"You've talked to Kelly and Claire?" William asked thinking that his problems with the opposite sex was getting announced to one and all. He had promised that he would do his best to make Sandra comfortable that evening.

"No. I was talking about Vera," Ed answered.

"Oh," William said thinking that this problem should have been dealt with fairly easily. After all, he hadn't done anything wrong. It did bother him that his father was calling it a serious problem. Concerned, he asked, "What is the problem?"

"I gather that you were rather insistent that she research the sex industry," Ed said.

"Of course I was. That's her job and her dismissal of my request was pretty much a surprise. I can't have a research assistant who refuses to research what I need researched," William said.

"You didn't accept her refusal or allow her to explain way she was refusing," Ed said looking at William.

William stared at his father and said, "I allowed her to explain, but the only explanation she gave was that the sex industry was disgusting. That's not a reason to refuse. Her job is to investigate various industries and provide me with financial data. What makes the sex industry any different than the recyclables industry?"

William was telling the truth and that was a point of difference with the story told by Vera. She had been telling the truth as well. Ed said, "So you don't know the real reason why she tried to refuse you?"

"No clue."

"You don't know why she turned it into a sexual harassment issue?"

Shaking his head, William answered, "I don't know why she did. I don't see how it is a sexual harassment issue. All I want are figures that describe how people are spending money in a sector of the economy."

"What if I were to tell you that she blames the sex industry for the death of her father?"

"Uh," William answered at a loss for words. If there was a connection between looking up business statistics, her father's death, and her claiming sexual harassment, he didn't see it. He ran his hand through his hair and asked, "And that relates to sexual harassment how?"

Giving William a sad smile, Ed said, "Connections don't have to be rational to be significant."