Chapter 46

Head in William's lap, Lucy was busy reading a math book. His hand was busy stroking her arm in an absent minded manner while he was reading his book. Lucy put her book down and said, "She's got a crush on you."

Frowning at the sudden introduction of a new topic, William asked, "Who? What?"

"I said she has a crush on you."

"Oh, that's nice," William said wondering who had the crush on him. He turned the page and continued reading.

"You don't know who I'm talking about, do you?"

"No clue whatever," William answered.

"Amanda."

"Oh. That's nice," William said paying almost no attention to Lucy. She was always imagining that one woman or another was interested in him.

Lucy sat up and turned to look at William. She said, "You don't believe me."

"What's there to believe? My dashing good looks turned her on? Not likely," William said. Her continued insistence that nearly every woman he met was interested in him was beginning to wear a little thin.

"You are just like your fathers," Lucy said shaking her head. It amazed her that he could be so oblivious to his effect on others while being so insightful in so many other ways. She said, "You're absolutely blind to the effect that you have on women. Eddie is like that as well."

"According to you, I've swept every woman that works for us off her feet except for Lisa and Donna," William said. He put the book he had been reading down and turned to look at Lucy more directly.

"Donna was the first to fall for you," Lucy corrected. His mentioning Lisa did raise an interesting question and she wondered how Lisa felt about him.

"Oh that's right. I remember now. She fell for me the day I gave her a nicer office than what she expected," William said. He rolled his eyes as if to suggest that it couldn't have happened that way.

"Something like that," Lucy said. A smile came over her face and she said, "You know, I never realized until now that you suffer from low self esteem."

Laughter exploded out of William upon hearing her say that he had low self esteem. His laugh was so hard and loud that Lisa even came out of the kitchen to see what was so funny. While William was laughing, Lucy was looking just slightly amused. The difference in expression made her very curious.

William was laughing so hard that he was having a hard time staying on the couch. As far as he could remember, that was the funniest thing anyone had ever said to him. Every time he looked at Lucy his laughter seemed to double him over.

Unable to hold back her curiosity, Lisa asked, "What did you say to him?"

"I told him that he had low self esteem," Lucy answered looking at William.

William howled and fell to the floor. Lisa was speechless and couldn't tell if Lucy was being serious. The tone of voice used suggested that she was very serious. If she was, then it was obvious to Lisa that Lucy really needed to have her head examined. She'd never met anyone so self assured as William. Lisa said, "I guess I can understand his laughter."

"Do you have any coffee? I don't think William is going to be able to talk for a long time," Lucy said looking down at her husband. His eyes were wet from tears of laughter.

"Sure," Lisa answered. She returned to the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee. Once she had finished preparing it, she turned to find Lucy standing behind her.

Lucy accepted the cup of coffee from her and then asked, "Do you know that of all the women who know William, you are the only one that I think does not lust after him?"

"Well, I love him to death. He's like my own son," Lisa answered looking over at Lucy. Shrugging her shoulders, she added, "I don't lust after my sons."

"That explains it," Lucy said nodding her head. She took a sip of her coffee and smiled. She said, "You make the best coffee."

"Thanks," Lisa answered wondering what was so special about it. It was just plain store bought coffee that was brewed in a regular coffeemaker. William's father, Ed, always raved about her coffee. Still confused about Lucy's earlier comment, she said, "I have to ask this, but why did you say that William has low self esteem?"

"We were talking about his effect on women," Lucy answered, "I suggested it because he seems to be unable to believe it. It is as though he doesn't believe that he's good enough to deserve their feelings towards him."

Lisa nodded her head in understanding. It seemed strange to her that William could talk to a woman one time and leave her standing with damp panties. She'd seen him do that time after time. She asked, "Who was it this time?"

"Amanda," Lucy said. She listened carefully for a second and could hear William still laughing although not as forcefully. She shook her head and said, "He gave her a computer with a top of the line Braille monitor as a present this afternoon at her housewarming party. It was absolutely the perfect present for her."

"He's good at finding just the right thing," Lisa said.

William came into the kitchen and took one look at Lucy before breaking out in laughter. He staggered away holding his stomach unable to say a word because of his laughter. Lucy watched him go and said, "I guess I took him by surprise."

"Seems to happen a little more often lately," Lisa commented.

"Yes," Lucy said. She frowned and listened to him laughing. It wasn't that funny.

Noticing the expression on Lucy's face, Lisa said, "I'm sure that William has been called all kinds of things. Arrogant, self-assured, confident, determined... Well, he's very focused and brilliant. I don't think that anyone has ever suggested to him that he suffers from low self esteem. It's like telling some skinny person that there is a fat person inside just begging to be let out."

Lucy's thoughts were on another matter. She sighed and said, "I feel so sorry for them. I know that Barbara is just head over heels for William. Every word and gesture that he gives her just reinforces the idea that he is her perfect man. His total focus on her as a living thinking person just slips under that man hating wall she has built around her. It just hammers on her heart. She's totally defenseless around him."

"Sounds like she has it bad," Lisa said.

"Donna has it even worse. She views herself as a poor uneducated Indian girl surrounded by brilliant beautiful women. You've got to admit, they are some of the most gorgeous women in the world. He treats her like an equal to women that she holds in absolute awe," Lucy said.

"He's her magic mirror that lets her know that she's the fairest in the land," Lisa said with a knowing nod.

"Exactly. It is fairy tale time and he's their Prince Charming."

"Aren't you jealous?" Lisa asked.

"I used to be, but then I realized that he loves me more than anything in this world. I love him so much, but sometimes his love for me is overwhelming. Receiving that much love from him, how can I possibly be jealous?" Lucy answered. Mother Kelly had been right. He could have an entire harem of women and she would never be able to doubt his love for her. It was a strange thought and one that had taken a long time to accept. She took a sip of her coffee and said, "He's quieted down. It is time for round two."

Lisa watched Lucy leave the kitchen. She shook her head and went back to preparing the bread machine for making cinnamon buns for breakfast. She used to hate housekeeping and cooking, but that had been when it was an unpaid chore. It was funny, but ever since she started to get paid to take care of the house she found that she actually enjoyed it.

Lucy returned to the couch and sat down. Every time William looked at her, he started to chuckle. Finally, he managed to say, "You really took me by surprise with that one."

"I was trying to make a point," Lucy said.

"I guess I missed it," William said still chuckling.

"Yes, you did. You get their love because you deserve their love," she said. Sighing, she said, "You won't deserve it for much longer if you don't take care of them."

"What do you mean?" William asked suddenly serious.

"You have to return their love, even if it is just a little," she answered. It was one of the hardest things she had ever said to him, but it was the truth. A person shouldn't ignore the feelings of others or pretend that those feelings don't exist.

Frowning, William said, "Lucy, I love you more than life itself. Why are you asking me to do this?"

"Why? Because I love you more than life itself. Why can I ask it of you? Because I know that you love me more than life itself," Lucy answered.

"Why now?"

"Amanda."

"What about Amanda?"

"All of the women in the office have deep feelings for you, but Amanda is the most innocent of them all."

"That just means..."

Covering his mouth with two fingers, Lucy interrupted, "That means you have to be more careful with her. You don't want to destroy her innocence. You have to address her feelings for you without hurting her. You have to return her love."

William's appetite and desire for love was totally sated with Lucy. She was everything that he wanted in life. He loved her with his whole heart and knew that she felt the same towards him. He didn't want or need more love from other people. He looked at her and said, "You are all I want. Why should I take more when I already have more than any other human being on this planet?"

"You won't be taking more. You'll be giving," Lucy answered. His question had nearly brought tears to her eyes, but she steeled herself against them. She knew that he could give his love to everyone around him and there would still be enough left to love more people. Kelly had once told her that his father had an infinite capacity to love. She hadn't understood what that meant until this moment.