Chapter 1

I never saw the signs. One day I was just sitting at the coffee shop talking with you and all of a sudden it dawned on me - you were in love with me.

The friendly banter that we had enjoyed, the talks about romances that never got past the "hi how are you" stage. The long walks in the park, the popcorn and movies. I guess everyone else around me saw it happening and nobody wanted to clue me in.

I'm 24 you are 23. We have known each other longer than we haven't. You were the girl next door who wasn't afraid of lizards, snakes and playing Cowboys and Indians. Here I am wondering when all that changed. From skinned knees to glistening eyes and a beautiful smile. Oh yes, what a smile.

Wait a minute. What had happened to me? When did my feelings change?

My name is Tom and my best friend is Sam. We first met when then 8-year-old Sam's family moved in next door. It was a warm day the summer of my 9^th year and I was all about running in the field, riding my bike, catching tadpoles and comic books. I saw the moving van pull into the driveway and curiosity got the better of me. Sam's parents, sweating in the heat and moving furniture, looked like they could use some sort of help. I introduced myself by picking up one of the boxes from the U-Haul and started carrying it into the house.

Sam's mom took one look at me smiled and pointed me in the direction of the room where the box should go. After that box Sam's mom said, "I can't wait for you to meet Sam. Sam is out exploring the back yard and the field right now while we are moving things in."

I helped like that for about ten minutes until I saw another kid about my age and size wearing jeans,

tee-shirt and ball cap running in from the back yard. This kid looked at me and then asked, "what are you doing with those boxes" and I said, "just helping our new neighbors move in." At that point Sam's mom came out to the driveway and introduced us. "Samantha this is Tom, he lives next door and is just a little older than you. "

I was fooled. Here I was thinking that this new kid next door was going to be my best friend for life. The one I could share secrets with, have campouts & hang out with. Not a little girl. This can't be happening to me.

At first I sure that my mind was playing tricks on me. I took a second look and shooting out of the gap in the back of the ball cap Sam was wearing was a ponytail, a blond, curly ponytail. The face was a little dirty from the great exploration of the backyard and beyond. Now instead of a guy it dawned on me, this was a girl. I have never been one to pick up on things very fast. This time was no exception.

After an awkward few moments I remembered at least a few of the manners my parents had drilled into me. "Hi, nice to meet you Sam, how old are you?" She blushed and said, "Eight, just how old are you?" I was on a roll here, albeit an imaginary one. I said, "I just turned nine last week, when is your birthday?" Sam responded cheerfully, "just about a month from now, but didn't your Mom tell you it's not polite to ask a lady her age?" Again, so slow on the uptake, I responded, "A lady? Where?"

Her faint blush turned into a near melt down. First, I saw her countenance fall, as though a leak had developed in her joy. Seconds later her face crumpled, her lip quivered a little then turned into such an angry look. I had seen that look before. I knew I had "stepped into it" big time!

Sam wound up, went into the stretch and pitched. She was going to be throwing "the heat" today. "What's a matter with you, don't you know that girls are ladies? Didn't anyone explain how that works to you? Well if we are going to be neighbors, it looks like I'm gonna spend half my time teaching you how things are around my house. Besides that, couldn't you tell that I was just kidding you a little when I said that thing about asking my age?"

I may be a little slow on some things. Ok, I was a lot slower than later on in life. Today I was not even close to my record best, but I knew enough to know that digging myself deeper was not going to do me any good. As a matter of fact, As I think back on it, I made the first conscious 'grown up' decision in my life. I apologized. I made no excuses, whined not once and just let the words fly off my lips, "Sam, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I did. Of course you are a lady and I'm afraid I am not much of a gentleman."