Like Any Other Day
Donna moved efficiently through her house, cleaning and straightening -straightening and cleaning. It was in these simple acts of daily life that she wrapped herself in dull comfort. Get the family up, husband to work, kids to school, clean and/or shop, kids coming home, husband returning from work, meals, homework, TV, and then all off to bed. Each and every day pretty much the same as the day before.
There was no question of having enough to do; especially with the holidays fast approaching. Holiday displays were already in the stores. A myriad of things began to accumulate on her "to do" list: a house to be decorated, cards to be bought, signed and mailed, the coordination of party invitations and responses. The kids were already getting excited - Donna was already getting exhausted.
She stood in her living room wondering if this years Christmas tree should be near the front window or over by the bookcase. The only problem with the bookcase location was that the tree would block most of the family photos displayed there. She loved her pictures.
Her focus slowly centered one photo in particular; it had been taken during her honeymoon in Hawaii many years ago. Her husband Steve was behind her, embracing her. Her vision tightened as she looked at her face, her smile, and her eyes; eyes alive with love, happiness, and fulfillment.
The photo seemed to mock her.
Night After Night
Donna lay flat of her back as she felt her body climb the familiar road to release. Hips on a pillow heels hooked over her husband Steve's shoulders, rhythmic thrusting, and the slow circling of his thumb on his clitoris: the cycle of her orgasm progressed from likely to inevitable.
Oh God! Donna struggled against the increase of stimulation. Steve had repositioned his finger along the shaft of his cock. A slight curl upwards had his fingertip rubbing back and forth across her G -spot. The increased stimulation was too much; too intense. "Steve, that's too..."
She gasped as he pulled his cock out of her. Her legs were lifted higher and she felt the blunt pressure of Steve's cock at her rectum. She pushed and relaxed until her bottom opened in acceptance.
When Steve resumed thrusting inside her a different series of sensations became dominant. A pleasurable pressure began to well up inside her. No, no - not the finger - not again. She tried to push Steve's finger out of her before she lost control completely - too late.
Donna's hips bucked wildly. An intense heat flared from deep within her spreading outward as her attention centered in her pulsating pelvis. She heard her herself whimpering - a series of sharp inhalations, a long held breath - then crying out. Great waves of pleasure swept through her: on and on and on.
She floated is a disconnected ecstasy barely conscious of her surroundings.
It seemed to take forever to return to any semblance of normal awareness. Donna lay quietly in the echoing reverberations of another multiple-orgasm fucking. She felt the familiar trickle of Steve's semen begin to leak out of her. Turning her head she gazed at her husband. Steve's soft snoring confirmed his "little death." When had he come? How could she have missed his orgasm?
Staring up into the dark ceiling of their bedroom Donna despaired at seeing her way out of this. She loved the man beside her with all her heart. And she knew he loved her too - some might say more than she deserved.
She had every reason to be happy; family, friends, and financial security. Everything seemed so perfect. Donna sighed as she felt the darkness envelop her.
If everything was so perfect; then why was she so unhappy?
Over Morning Coffee
"Sex?" Donna stirred her coffee into a dull beige uniformity. She lifted the cup to her lips, sipped, and put the cup down with a sigh. Looking across the table at Becky, her friend and confidante, Donna shrugged and then smiled. "We're having sex; lot's of sex - great sex. Becky, I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. Sex is not the problem; I mean I know it was, with Gil... God I don't know. It's just..." Donna looked down and sighed. Becky waited patiently for her friend to continue.
"Here I am with this great guy, who loves me so much that he has forgiven me for cheating on him. And I'm - God I don't know what I am right now - other than so deeply unhappy. You want to know how screwed up I am Becs... the better the sex, the more orgasms I have; the emptier I feel afterwards. How messed up is that?" Donna's whole being seemed to slump floorward.
"Tell me what's different Donna. What was the sex like before your affair versus the sex after... ?"
"It wasn't an affair Rebecca. It was once! One stupid mistake. One slip-up!"
"I was trying to be... okay how was your sex life with your husband before you mistakenly fucked that total asshole Gil? And how was your sex life after you fucked that total asshole Gil?"
"God, that sounds even worse. It's not the before that's the problem, it's now. It's the way... I don't know."
"Yes you do. What is it? Say it, Donna." Becky looked earnestly at her friend encouraging her to speak.
"It's like... it's almost like I've become a project for Steve. It's... I don't know how to say this... it's like he treats me like a work problem; I've become something for him to solve. Because I cheated on him, he thinks the problem must be se. So whatever was happening before is out because that led to me cheating. I happen to have liked what we did before.
Steve is doing all of these different sex techniques and practices to make me cum. If I don't have multiple orgasms every time we have sex... God, I can't believe I'm going to say this... but you know, sometimes one orgasm is enough. Hell, there were times I didn't mind not even coming at all. Am I making any sense Becky?"
"Yeah, you're making sense. Donna when was the last time you said "no" to Steve's regarding sex?" Becky sipped her coffee as she watched her friends reaction, or lack thereof. Donna simply blinked.
"So you submit to him every time he wants sex - is that it? You don't refuse him anything that he wants to do, no matter what? Was that the way it was before?" Becky acknowledged Donna's shaking head. "No, it wasn't like that but it is now, right? So you're telling me that Steve has complete control of your sex life?"
"I... well; I really haven't... I wouldn't quite put it that way Becky." Donna felt herself becoming even smaller.
"Look Donna, this may seem overly simplistic but men are biologically predisposed to spray their seed around - sex, sex, sex. So they think they need sex because they're always thinking about sex. But you and I both know that what they really need is love, they're desperate for it. It's our job to fulfill their needs so that they don't want something, or someone, else. So, is Steve getting what he needs from you or is he just getting what he wants?"
Donna sat silent.
"Donna?" Becky watched as a slow shrug was finally expressed. She paused, sipped her coffee and nodded her head in acknowledgement. Becky placed her cup down and slapped her open palm on the counter. "Donna, you've lost Cunt Confidence!"
"Excuse me?" Donna looked at the older woman. A blush of astonishment spread across her face.
"Cunt Confidence, Pussy Pride, - somehow in this whole mess you've lost yours. I don't know why I didn't see this earlier. What we need to do is get yours back." Becky stood up and began to pace back and forth.
"I really don't think..."
Becky pulled her friend up from her chair and led her to a hallway mirror. "Look at yourself. You're beautiful, you have a great body Donna, what's not to like? Weren't you one of those "stick-figure" girls growing up; real skinny, all elbows and knees. Do you remember what happened when you got your tits! One day you're walking around and guys are acting like jerks - or even worse, ignoring you. Then "bam" you get boobs. Suddenly those same guys they think you have "pretty eyes, nice hair, blah, blah, blah." You discover that you have something guys really want.
"You start dating and you begin to fool around with guys. You realize that what guys want gives you an incredible power over them. You have the power to fulfill them. You have the power to frustrate them. You have the power to control them. Basically, a woman with Cunt Confidence can make a guy do whatever they want? Carry my books, take me here, let's do this. A woman with Cunt Confidence is calling the shots. She's in control and more importantly, the guys know that she is in control. Guys act the way you want in order to have access to you. When you have that knowledge, that power - that's Cunt Confidence."
"Really Becky, you think everything comes down to sex and how to manipulate men with it. You should write a book, Cunt Confidence for Dummies, or maybe Discovering Your Inner Slut."
Rebecca paused and looked closely at her friend. "Interesting choice of words, look in the mirror Donna. Is that the term you would use to describe yourself - slut? Is that what this is all about? Is that how you see yourself? Is that how you'd describe how you acted with Gil? Were you a slut when he stripped you naked and shoved his cock in your mouth? Were you a slut when you were begging for it Donna? Were you a slut when Gil fucked you in his office? Were you a... ?"
Donna nodded her head. "Yes. I'm a slut."
"Donna, Donna, Donna, a slut doesn't have Cunt Confidence. A slut is powerless, just like any other kind of addict. Look at the difference between a casual drinker and an alcoholic. Say you're at a party, you have a couple of drinks, you're relaxed, having fun - you are confident of who you are and what you are - no problems. You are still in control.
"But what if you get shit-faced drunk? Waking up, not knowing what you did, or who you did it with? There's no fun there, there's no confidence, you are not in control at all - are you.?" Becky smiled as she warmed to the task.
"For whatever reason, the timing, the coincidence of it all, I Steve't know. But that night with Gil wasn't so much a mistake as an accident. You know what this is like? It's almost like a car crash. After the crash, you can't help but think about all of the decisions made and actions taken that led right up to the point of impact. Any one of them might have changed the timing, and that could have changed the outcome. Do you see where I'm going with this Donna?
Donna's nod was non-committal.
"You can argue as much as you want. You can say you never fantasized about being with another man. You can say that being with another man never occurred to you. But there's no disputing reality. Everything came together in a way that was unavoidable and for that one evening - in your own words - you were a slut. And there's no denying it because it happened Donna. It happened. But, and you really have to understand this Donna, "but" it was an accident. Did you consciously intend to cheat on Steve?"
"No! Of course not... it just happened so fast that..."
"Just like an accident. That's what I'm saying, you lost control for a moment, that lapse led to an accident. Can't you see that?" Becky resumed her pacing.
"If you have a car accident, even a bad one, you might for a moment say that you're a bad driver. But do you stop driving and become a passenger for the rest of your life? No, of course not, you get back behind the wheel and you drive, more carefully, more consciously, but you drive - you get your confidence back.
"Donna, you had the equivalent of a sexual car crash. You were a slut for that one night - it happened. It was an accident. But instead of learning from your mistake and getting back behind the wheel. Instead of getting your confidence back, you're spooked, you're afraid, and you're letting someone else drive you around."
"I appreciate what you're trying to do Becky, I really do..."
"Answer me this Donna. Are you doing things sexually that the two of you didn't do before? Anal is all the rage these days, is Steve fucking you in your butt?"
"Becky! What Steve and I do in the privacy of..."
"I'll take that as a "yes." Has he tied you up? Spanking? Toys... has he suggested opening up your marriage..."
"Stop it. Stop it right there. I am married and I am not going to be with any other man again... got it! I am not some kind of stupid little slut who is unable to..."
"That's Cunt Confidence!" Becky held up her hand. "You draw the line. You define the boundaries. You call the shots."
Becky walked back to the kitchen and rinsed out her coffee cup. "Thanks for the coffee Donna. Think about it. I've got to go, call me."
A Game Of Confidence
"The kids are in bed." Donna leaned against the door of Steve's home office. "Steve, I need your opinion on something."
Steve finished typing and slowly looked over his shoulder. "Okay Donna what do you... wow that is some dress? You look fantastic. Did you just buy it? I don't think I've ever seen it before."
Donna shifted to the other side of the doorway causing the slinky black dress to move revealing across her body. "Actually I've had it for awhile. I did buy it with you in mind. I bought it so that you might notice me. Me, the woman. The one you fell in love with and wanted to spend the rest of your life with."