Chapter 74

I cleaned up and put on a clean pair of shorts. Surprisingly, Mom hadn't made any comments about the stained pair I was wearing though I knew she noticed. Not much gets by my mother.

Jill was already under the blankets on her side, her hands holding them just under her chin, her body in the shape of a crescent.

I caught the light and got in bed, scooting up to her back and working my arms around her. She let go of the blanket and pulled my hands into her chest.

"How are you doing, Jill?"

"I'm all right.

"Really?"

"I'll live."

"Well, that's a relief."

She was silent for a while, then finally,

"Jack?"

"Hmm."

"Do you think I'm silly?"

"Is this one of those trick questions that I can't answer without getting into trouble?"

"No. Your mom got me thinking."

"Yeah, she has a way of doing that."

"I was thinking that maybe I was being silly."

"OK. I'll bite. How do you think you might have been silly?"

"Acting the way I did. Not giving either of them a chance to talk. Crying like a baby."

"Jill, you were upset. No matter how much what they did makes sense or how logical it is, you had a hell of a surprise. It's not unreal for you to have acted the way you did."

"How do you feel about it?"

"Can I give you an honest answer? Without getting into trouble?"

"You do think I'm silly."

"I didn't say that. But it didn't affect me the way it did you. He's not my father and she's not my best friend."

"Was."

"Was?"

"She was my best friend."

"Oh, I see. Is he still your father?"

"Of course. He'll always be that. That's something I can't change. That doesn't mean I have to like it."

"No, I guess not. Just remember, if you punish him, you'll be punishing yourself, too."

"I know. You're right. That doesn't make it easy. You never told me."

"Told you what?"

"How you feel about it."

"I don't."

"What do you mean you don't? How can you say that?"

"I knew it. I knew I should just worm out of answering."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't pick on you. You're not the one I'm mad at."

"OK. Good night." I squeezed her and snuggled a bit closer.

"Jack?"

"Hmm."

"Tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"What did you think when you saw them?"

"I thought a lot of stuff."

"Tell me. Please?"

"OK. I thought 'Oh, Shit.' I thought the woman I love hurts. I thought your father looked ridiculous when he came out of the bedroom with that blanket wrapped around him. I thought Wanda is a beautiful woman. I thought your father looked devastated when he came out of the front door and I made him go back in. I thought Wanda looked like she'd lost her best friend when she got in her car and drove away. I thought she looked totally in love when Chris got her to admit there was some guy she was interested in. I thought my sister couldn't do a whole lot of damage with that broom. I thought 'Thank God' when she cracked you up and you laughed. Anything else?"

"Don't you think they were wrong?"

"No."

"So you think what they did was OK?"

"I didn't say that. You asked if it was wrong. It was obvious they were both enjoying themselves. It's also obvious that nobody was twisting anybody's arm. I'm also pretty sure you never would have known anything if we hadn't decided to come home early. And you know your father did all he could to make sure he didn't hurt you. He didn't tell you not to come home because he was going to be in bed, but he did make it a point to find out how late you were going to be out."