Chapter 5

"What's the matter, dear? You're hardly touching your food."

"I've just got some stuff on my mind. Mom."

"I'll bet it has something to do with that girl you met."

"Of course it does, Mary. Quit teasing your brother."

"Yes, Mom."

"So, do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know, Mom."

"Would you feel better if it was just the two of us?"

"Yeah. But it's not fair to send Mary away."

"I know, Dear. But I'm sure there will be lots of times in the next few years that she'll want to talk to me without you being around. Eat your dinner and then you and I will talk."

"OK, Mom."

Mom's a hell of a cook. Tonight she'd made her fried chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy. Good stuff. I guess it wouldn't hurt to eat.

Mom let Mary use the phone in her room to call her girlfriends while we talked in the living room.

"What's the matter, Honey?"

"I found out how old Jill is today."

"Oh? And that's a catastrophe?"

"It could be."

"Is she over 12?"

"Mom, it's not funny. She's 14."

"Fourteen huh? My, that is serious."

"Oh? You mean you approve of me going out with a 14 year old?"

"I have no problem with it. Do you realize that she might have been considered an old maid just over 150 years ago?"

"Oh, come on, Mom. That's a long time ago. They didn't know what we know now."

"They knew you can't legislate when two people can be in love. They knew that if you made people wait till they were 18 or 21 before they could exercise their birthright that it would cause a lot of problems. Take a look around you and see how many people are messed up about love and sex. Look at the number of people who get divorced. This country was built by families that lived in one room houses with 10 children. Sex was not hidden and it was perfectly natural. And you knew if you didn't get your daughters married and out of the house by the time they were twelve, they were going to start screwing their nine year old brothers. They didn't get divorced and everybody wasn't hung up on sex."

"I never thought about that."

"Honey, your father and I had a fantastic sex life. But I'll let you in on a little secret. I started when I was 13. And I loved it. And that's part of the reason your father and I were so good together. So, as far as I'm concerned, the only valid question is 'How do you feel about Jill?' And 'How does she feel about you?' The rest of it is immaterial."

"Mom, I really like her. She told me she was 15 this morning and I guess I wasn't real good at hiding my feelings about it."

"I'm sure you weren't. You've never been good at hiding things."

"Well, we went out and she was playing these stupid games, trying to get me to like her. It was almost like she was trying to trap me. I finally got fed up with it and chewed her out. And she settled down and became herself. The girl I fell for last night. And we had a good time the rest of the day. Until she told me she would be 15 on her birthday a month and a half from now."

"So, it bothered you when she told you she was 15, then you found out she was 14?"

"She didn't really say she was 15. I asked her if she had her own car and she said '15 year olds can't drive.' When I found out her birthday is two days after Halloween, I said 'So you'll be 16 in a little over a month.' and she told me she would be 15."

"I'll tell you Honey, it wouldn't be the first time a girl lied about her age. Do you think you're worth lying to? You know the only reason she did it is to snag you."

"God, Mom. You make it sound like she's hunting and I'm some kind of prize."

"You're not far off. Welcome to the game between the sexes. Or war. Whichever, you can count on being prey for any woman who sets her sights on you. The question is, do you want Jill to be the one to catch you? Or do you want to throw her back and wait for someone different?"

"I don't know that I could do any better. I like her. She likes me. We're both comfortable with each other. She's the first girl I've been able to talk to."

"So, what's wrong with having a 14 year old girlfriend? Come on, be honest with me."

"Well, I'm two years ahead of her in school. I've studied stuff she hasn't."

"OK. Do you have trouble finding things to talk about?"

"No."

"Have you had any experience with her not being interested in something you were interested in?"

"No."

"OK. Let's say you get into a really interesting book in English. Do you think she'd be interested in what you had to say about it?"

"I'm sure she would."

"Alright. Let's say she's interested in the Crusades. You studied that in World History as a freshman. Is that going to put you off when she gets excited about it with you?"

"No. I'd be able to talk about something I know about so we could have a good discussion about it."

"OK. So the difference in grades probably won't be a problem. What else?"

"What are the guys going to say when they find out I'm going with a 14 year old. What's Mary going to say?"

"Ahhh. Now we get to the real problem. What are all these people going to think about you? Are they going to look down on you? Mary's probably going to be pissed off because Jill snagged you and she's alone. She may realize that if Jill can do it, she can do it. So it may end up being a good thing for her.

"So, that leaves your buddies. The ones who go to a dance and stand together and joke and are afraid to go over to a girl and ask her to dance? The ones who shake in fear whenever a girl comes up to them? The ones who talk about what they'd like to do with all the girls they see but don't have the guts to do shit? Are those the ones you're worried about?"

"It sounds pretty silly when you put it like that. What about the law?"

"What about the law?"

"You know. I could be accused of statutory rape if I did anything with her."

"Yes, I guess you could. But I don't think her father would say anything and I know I wouldn't. The district attorney could press charges by himself but he'd have a hard time if both parents were fighting him. If you don't fuck her on the school grounds you don't have a lot to worry about."

"Mom, that's pretty gross."

"Jackie, the situation is pretty gross. I'm going to ask you again. How do you feel about Jill? Not 14 year old Jill. Jill the person."

"I like her a lot. I want to get to know her. I think I could fall in love with her."

"So, get to know her. Be with her. Enjoy her. Because I'll tell you something. You'll hate yourself if you let a stupid thing like her age keep you away from her. She'll be the one you'll always wonder about. I wonder what would have happened if I'd stayed with Jill. If I'd had the guts to stay with Jill. If I hadn't dumped her because of her age."

"OK, Mom. I got it. Thanks. I love you, Mom."

"You're welcome, Jack. I love you, too."

I was over at Jill's house a minute before 12. Her father came to the door when I rang the bell.

"Hi, Jack. Come in. Jill's still getting ready. Why don't we go into the den and talk."