Chapter 47

I swallowed and pushed the button next to the front door. I could hear the chimes of their doorbell going off. They still reminded me of something I'd hear in a cathedral.

Jill opened the door and held it open. Dressed in white shorts, just long enough to cover her butt, down to the tops of her legs. She had her Perlione's tablecloth shirt on. The one with the red and white squares, tied off under her bust. Her hair looked like it had been brushed within an inch of its life. It almost sparkled, it shone so much. No makeup I could see except some pink lip gloss that made her mouth as desirable as I'd ever seen it. Her face had that just scrubbed vitality brought on by cold water. She looked at me and her eyes sparkled. God, I just wanted to fall into them.

Bozo was six feet behind her. He barked when he saw me, kind of a "yip." She turned and shushed him.

"Well, come on in."

She made no move to demonstrate affection. No kiss, no hug, hell, a handshake would have been something.

I followed her through the main room, into the hall and into the TV room. Those shorts left nothing to the imagination. She went over to a wooden rocking chair and sat down. A one person chair. I sat on the black leather couch. By myself.

"Sara tells me you told her to pick up your jacket."

"Well, I said she could get it from you."

"And that I don't deserve it."

"Now, wait a minute, Jill. I never said that."

"And that she's sleeping in your bed."

"Yeah, but..."

"And that you helped her get undressed last night."

"Jill..."

"And that after you helped her with her bra she kissed you goodnight..."

"Jill, it's not..."

"And that the two of you slept together this afternoon."

"Well, we did but..."

"And that you got her in your house when she was hurt and you did whatever it took to get her to the hospital and you helped her rescue her puppies and that you made her mother back off. Is that true?"

"Well, yeah, but it wasn't anything anyone else wouldn't do."

"Do you really believe that? God, Jack, you really don't get it, do you. You are so good. Not many people would risk my wrath the way you have to help someone. You know how I am about other women and about Sara in particular."

"Jill, she's my friend. Dammit, you've got Charlie. I know you would never do anything with him to hurt us, It's the same with Sara. She needs someone real bad right now. And she's been my friend for about as long as you've known Charlie. I'm sorry, I don't think there's anything wrong with what we do. And when she needs help, I'll be right there for her. And it won't harm any relationship we have a bit."

She sat there with her hands in her lap. Trying to smile but a little quiver to her lips. There were tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Can I sit with you?"

I held out my arm. She rocked forward and stood up, then rushed over to the couch. My arm was still out and she snuck under it, pushing herself against my side.

"My mother left us for another man."

That was it. Like Sara's fear a loved one would blow up. Something she'd carried around forever.

"I was two. Almost three. I remember how pretty she was. And I remember my daddy crying. He cried when he found out and they were still married. He cried when he came home and there was a note for him and she was gone. And he cried for years. Every so often, I'd hear him in his room when he thought I was out, crying.

"That day you called and talked for a half hour about how happy you were that Sara and you were finally getting to know each other after so many years of just saying Hi, I just knew you were going to leave me. I'm 14, both of you are 17. You go to the same school, you walk the same way every morning. You're in all the same classes. And I go to a different school and we can only see each other one night and two days a week. How could I compete with that?

"So, I tried to scare her off. I showed up on your doorstep and I did my best to put a big sign in front of you that said 'Taken - Do Not Touch.' And it seemed to work.

"And then my father left town and I had this whole house to myself for the weekend and I knew we were going to make love for my birthday and it was going to be beautiful, so I rode my bike to your place to bring you back here to be alone together. And you acted weird. Not happy to see me. And I heard Sara call out to you to help her get dressed.

"I freaked. I heard you calling me but I couldn't do anything but run. I had to stop my bike because I couldn't see through the tears.

"I finally made it home and I went in my room and I cried. I think I cried for hours. My stomach hurt. And I knew you were gone.

"I finally decided I couldn't just let go. I had to try one more time. So I called. And Mary said you were out with Sara. And I just knew it was over. When you called, I couldn't talk. All I could do was hang up the phone."

She had her arms wrapped around me. Her face was crushed against my chest. My shirt was soaking wet. The way she dug her face into me and the constant sniffling made it difficult but I got every word. My left arm came down over her shoulder and over her back to the side. My right hand held my left and I was pulling her in to me. She stayed in my arms, holding on as I held her.