Chapter 18

I don't think I've ever had a worse night's sleep. It was probably 10:00 when I gave up on Jill and went to bed. I continued to think about what was going on. The fact that she didn't answer her phone or return my call didn't help. I tried reading but after staring at the same page for a half hour with nothing registering, I put down the book.

I don't know if I was thinking or dreaming. I'd jerk all of a sudden and look at my alarm clock to see that 20 or 30 minutes had passed.

The last time I'm aware of seeing the clock was at 3:20. Of course, it went off promptly at 6:00.

I got up and took a shower. I still felt terrible. I went into the kitchen and Mary was eating breakfast.

"God, Jack. Did you get any sleep? You look like shit."

"I know. I'm worried about Jill."

"Oh, come on. Lighten up. She's obviously planning on sticking around or she wouldn't have come over yesterday to check on Sara."

"Yeah, I know. It bothers me that she doesn't know how much I want us to be together. I keep thinking she's going to decide it's not worth waiting for me to decide she's good enough for her and take off. I don't know if I'd be able to take it if she left. I tried to call her all last night and she didn't answer. I left a message and she didn't return it."

"She was probably out somewhere for the evening. Give her a call now. I'm sure she has to get up early for school."

I called and got her machine. I left a message asking her to call me if she heard it before I left for school.

"So, did you get her?"

"No, I got the machine again."

"She's probably in the shower or eating breakfast or something."

"Maybe she just doesn't want to talk to me."

The doorbell rang a few minutes before it was time to leave. I opened it to see Chris standing on the porch. He looked nervous.

"Hey. Chris. Mary and I will be ready in a minute."

"Uh, Jack. There's been a change in plans. Look, I know we're friends and all but Sara's afraid of your girlfriend. She says if she was walking with you and Jill saw us, Jill might freak out."

"Chris, you know that's crazy."

"Yeah, I know, but that's how she feels. I'm going to walk with her. Give me a couple of days and maybe I can get her to change her mind."

"Sure, Chris. Whatever you think."

"Thanks, man." He took off toward the edge of our yard where I could just make out Sara on the other side of the hedge.

Mary and I walked to school together. I enjoyed it. I hadn't talked to my sister about what was important to her in a long time, if ever. It's amazing how you can live with someone and not really know her. She told me more about her gymnastics. She had even won a few medals in the inter school competition in junior high. I knew nothing about her career yet she could recite every award I had in swimming.

Mentally I felt a little better but physically I was wiped out. I actually fell asleep in English, causing quite a few snickers when Miss Beevers stood next to my desk and shook me by the shoulder. When I called her Mom and asked for five more minutes, that brought the house down.

I was able to stay awake for the rest of the morning. Mary met me for lunch and talked me into eating on the grass. As soon as we got outside, she said, "Jackie, it looks like you need sleep a lot more than you need lunch. Lay down and rest your head on my lap. I'll wake you in plenty of time to go to class."

It seemed like I just lay down when she was calling my name, telling me it was time for school.

I got a couple of comments about having a new girlfriend on the way in to class. I just shrugged and smiled.

The afternoon went OK, but the nap hadn't really fixed anything. I was still tired when it came time to suit up.

"Jesus, Hill. I thought I told you to get some sleep."

"I tried, Coach, I had a lot on my mind."

"Well, whatever it is, handle it. I need you full strength."

"OK, Coach. I'm sure I'll be OK as soon as I hit the water.

"You better be. We need this win to make sure we get in the finals."

The good news is that the team won the match. The bad news is that I lost two events. I placed second in both, my time in one was only two tenths of a second more than the winner's. But that didn't console me. I'd never lost an event before.