Chapter 112

Sara watched Jill and Mary as they walked toward the store, gossiping and laughing.

"She must really hate me."

"No, she doesn't hate you. She understands you. She understood you before she even met you. Jill doesn't look at things and decide they're the way they look on the surface. I'm just the opposite. I take everything anybody says at face value, and it's gotten me into trouble. A lot. No, if Jill hated you, I know you wouldn't be in this car today and you probably wouldn't be living in my house. She knew you kissed me the other day when I walked you to the big house. I think she knew it was going to happen before we left the apartment. But her style isn't to blow you away. She keeps an eye out for me and makes sure I don't stray. She knows I don't want to but she also knows I'm human."

"Just like Sensei said."

"I don't understand."

"The appropriate amount of force for the situation. Just what he said."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"OK. How much of it did you see?"

"I stayed in the car and ate my bagels for a few minutes. When I got there, you were standing by yourself and everyone else was lined up behind you. You were crying most of the time. I left after you'd started doing pushups. I was back when everyone was dismissed and he called you up to him. He didn't look very happy."

"Yeah, that's an understatement. When we start each class, he asks if anyone used what they've learned during the week. Last week, no one did. I bowed and stepped forward and told him how I kicked that joker in the balls last night. He started asking questions. Had I used just the amount of force needed to stop him or had I gone farther? Was I using karate for self defense or as a tool for revenge? How did I feel about what I did? Why didn't I disable him with one of the pressure points we go over at the beginning of each class?"

"I didn't see that part."

"We didn't do that today. He spent the time we'd normally do that chewing me out."

"Oh."

"He was mad. He said it was possible Sean would never be able to have children because I went overboard. What really got me was when he told me I wasn't worthy of even a white belt and to turn it in to him. Jack, even a three year old who starts learning starts out with a white belt. He said I'm not worthy to be in the group right now and it's up to me to earn my way back in."

"How are you supposed to do that?"

"He wouldn't tell me. He said I didn't listen to him and that's why I was in trouble and it's up to me to figure out how to get myself out of it. I have to show up to each class and do pushups for the whole class and then he'll give me five minutes. I can tell him something I've done or something I want to do. If it's something I want to do, I need to do pushups the next week and then tell him what I did after class. Once he approves what I've done, I come in the following week and stand in front of the whole group, tell them what I did, why it was wrong, then tell them what I've done to make amends. And then I have to beg to be re-admitted to the group. It has to be unanimous or I have to start all over again."

"That sounds pretty tough. How do you feel about it?"

"I don't know. I still think that jackass got what he deserved."

"Then you might as well hang up your Gi. You totally missed what he was trying to teach you. And I'm sorry, Sara, but he's right and you're wrong about this."

"It just makes me so mad."

"Then you're in the wrong place. Karate isn't designed to turn you into a killing machine. It's good for self defense, but it's a philosophy more than that. If there's a peaceful way to get out of something, it's always preferable to violence. It's a tough philosophy to live by. From what I understand, it can be very fulfilling and you can gain extraordinary control over your body, your emotions, even your thought processes. But if you just want to learn to kick someone's ass, you won't last long at all in a reputable group. From what I've seen, your Sensei is a very ethical man, and he's not going to allow someone who isn't just as ethical to stay without correction. If you'd just kicked that guy in the balls as a reflexive action and then felt some remorse afterwards, you'd probably have gotten some minor punishment. But Sara, you've been gloating about the damage you did to this guy ever since it happened. And we both know that he's not the one you were really after. You were pissed off because Chris wouldn't read your mind. And were too lazy, or frightened or something to tell him how you really felt. You were looking for a fight and when that kid stuck his hand down your costume, there was a part of you that was relieved because now you had a reason to hurt someone."

The tears were starting to flow again. Only now, they weren't tears of anger or frustration. She was finally starting to realize she had actually done something wrong.

"You're right Jack. What do you think I should do to get back in the group?"

"What do you want? You want me to give you an assignment? Say three Hail Marys and bow to the Sun God three days in a row and all will be better? It doesn't work like that, Sara. He gave you your assignment. You have to find a way to work yourself out of this and then do it. It may be one of the toughest things you're ever called on to do. Maybe even tougher than renouncing your family was. But the Sensei is a wise man. He knows that it won't mean anything to you if someone tells you what to do and you do it. You have to find the right thing to do all by yourself and then do it. There's one good thing about it. If you find it and look at it honestly and know in your gut that it's the right thing, it will be. I can guarantee it."

She wiped her face. "Can I hug you?"

"I'd be disappointed if you didn't."

She slid out from behind the steering wheel and wrapped her arms around me, digging her face into my shoulder. She was still sobbing.

"Oh, Jack. Jill is so lucky. You don't know how good you are."

I just patted her back, held onto her and said "There, There." That's all she really needed.

She was starting to settle down when there was a loud rapping on the window next to me. Actually, behind me, the way I was turned sideways on the seat. Sara tried to jump backwards but I kept my arms around her and she didn't get far. I worked my head around and saw Jill next to the window with a keyring in her hand, ready to bang on the window some more. I smiled at her.

"Hi. Babe. You ready to go?"

"Yup."

"OK. Just a minute."

I grabbed Sara by both sides of the head and pulled her towards me, kissing her on the forehead.

"OK. Back behind the wheel."

She smiled, slid over and tried to wipe the tears away. I pulled a couple of Kleenex from my box and gave them to her. I slid over to the middle of the seat and Jill opened the door and sat down next to me while Mary got in back.

Jill looked around me at Sara. Sara was looking straight ahead, trying her best to hide.

"Did he make things any easier for you?"

Sara started. "Yes. Yes, he did."

"I knew he would. My Jack's a good man. I could have said the same things to you and you would have fought me on it."

"Oh, I don't know about that."

"Come on, Sara. You know you would have." She squeezed my hand. "Take us home so I can start nursing my poor baby."

Sara started up the car and I squeezed back. "So, what did all my money buy?"

"Oh, just wait till I show you. But I need to make a call first."

She pulled out her cell phone and hit a speed dial code. She listened for a while until it was answered.

"Wanda. It's Jill. I need to ask you a favor. First, I think I know the answer to this, but I need to know for sure. Are you still living with my father? I figured as much. I'm sure you'll tell me all about it, but I don't think I'll be too pissed off at you for deserting my poor Daddy. Are you on speaking terms with him? Oh, really. That bad, huh? No, I need something out of the garage. Never mind, I'll take care of it. Better give me an extra half hour. I want to make sure he's all doped up and asleep before you come over. Sure, you can come over. I never planned on doing anything over the phone. I just didn't want you hanging around while I was nursing Jack. Tell you what, if you're interested, I'll teach you how to make real chicken soup. Yeah, you'll practically be Jewish by the time I get through with you. OK. Talk to you later."

She leaned around me.

"Sara, we need to go to my Daddy's house first. Turn right at the next corner."

"I know where you live, Jill."

"I know you do, Dear. Right upstairs from you, over the garage."

"I meant where you used to live."

"OK. That's where I need to go."

We were over there a few minutes later. Jill went up to the garage, then realized she couldn't get in without the clicker for the opener. She went up to the front door and tried it but it was obviously locked. She rang the doorbell a couple of times but nobody came. She finally reached in her purse and pulled out a bunch of keys. She chose one and tried it but couldn't seem to get it in the lock. She took another look at the keys, shook her head and tried again. No luck. She dropped the keys in her purse and walked around to the other side of the garage, hopped over the fence and headed towards the patio. About a minute later, the garage door opened up. There were no cars inside. Jill came out the front door a few seconds later.

She kind of skipped into the garage and went over past the freezer and grabbed a box off the shelf next to it. She came back out, slapping the side of the door frame on the way. The door started to close.

She ran up to the car and opened the back door, handing the box to Mary. "Hold this." She got in the front seat, leaned over and said to Sara, "Time to go. The cops will probably be here any time now."

We were just pulling out of her housing tract when I heard sirens. A minute later, two private cop cars flew by us, sirens screaming and yellow lights flashing.

Jill just sat there with a big smile on her face.

"Boy, I can't wait to talk to Wanda. I can tell, it's going to be a doozy. He changed all the locks and the alarm code."

"How did you get in the house?"

"Jack, Jack, Jack. You can't expect a girl to give away her secrets. Let's just say that there isn't a teenage girl around worth her salt who doesn't have at least one secret way to get in or out of her house when it's locked. Mine just happened to set off the alarm and my code didn't work."

She pulled out her cell phone and placed another speed call. She made a face almost immediately.

"Daddy, it's Jill. You're probably on the phone with the alarm company or all your calls are being sent to voice mail. Anyway, you'll get a report sooner or later and I don't want you to worry. I had to break into your house so I could get something from the garage. For some reason my key and my alarm code don't work anymore. I hope you aren't mad at me, Daddy. Love you. Kissy, Kissy.

She flipped the phone closed and put it in her purse, a big smile on her face.

"OK. Now we get to go though your goodies, Jack. Mary. What's in that box I gave you?"

"It says it's a humidifier. What's that?"

"It's real simple. It adds humidity to the air. It's not quite this simple, but basically you put water in it, plug it in and it makes steam. It breaks up the mucous if you're real congested. That's Leave it to Beaver technology. Straight out of the fifties. What you got in the bag, Mary?"

"I've got Vicks VapoRub."

"Also something Mrs. Cleaver would use. And she probably got the big bucks when she held it up for the cameras as she rubbed it into Beavers chest. They used to have commercials for this stuff that said it was as good as a mother's love or better than a mothers love or some such. Of course, they had commercials extolling the benefits of different brands of cigarettes around the same time period. What else?"