Chapter 4

Andrew stopped his daydreaming about the past; he was delighted by Megan showing up unexpectedly a few hours ago. His reminiscing was sweet but he knew that tomorrow he would be offering them a future together - an option to work out their constant separations.

He was ready to have Megan become a permanent part of his life and carry on the traditions of both families in both countries and cultures.

He looked over everything and quickly ran down a mental check list - Meat and cream sauce finished - green beans in the microwave - bread needing to be sliced - the noodles were almost ready for Megan - the wine was chilling and the table cleaned off and ready to be set. Once he took the noodles off he went upstairs to wake his lady love.

Megan awoke feeling rested and happy as Andrew kissed her neck. She smiled looking up into those brown eyes brimming with love. He told her to get dressed and come downstairs and help him prepare for dinner.

Megan joined Andrew in the kitchen and after a wet sloppy kiss helped him with the noodles and sliced the bread. She looked around thinking back to how Christmas was at both of their parent's homes. She remembered the Christmas she spent with his family.

As she and Andrew drove up to the house Megan sat and stared at Bart and Denise's house and yard in awe. Innumerable multicolored lights were blinking and moving around the house, up and down posts and banisters on the porch and even through the shrubs and trees in the yard. The lights combined with wooden cutouts of different cartoon characters gave the yard a dream like aura.

Caitlyn had run out and tackled Megan, the two of them frolicking in the snow looking at all the different decorations. As Andrew brought the bags inside Caitlyn said, "Well now my friend you are about to see me whip up on your beloved."

"How so," Megan asked, mischief dancing on both girls' faces.

Caitlyn bent over and made a dozen or so snowballs and put them in front of her, then held one in each hand. A few moments later Andrew and both his parents came out onto the big wrap around porch.

Denise called out, "Megan would you come up here please?"

Caitlyn whose eyes were on Andrew said, "You better go up there it's going to get real messy down here."

Megan looked at her friend then quickly made her way up to the porch. Andrew looked around the yard as did Caitlyn then with a quick nod of both their heads he walked down the five steps and stood in front of the house.

"Caitlyn," he shouted although his sister was only twenty feet away, "Save yourself the embarrassment this year and surrender..." His comments were cut short by a loud splat as a snow ball thrown by Caitlyn smacked Andrew in the chest.

Caitlyn giggled, he turned slightly and brushed the snow off of himself then said, "Of course Madam you know this means war," quoting an old cartoon show.

Moments later the riot was on and for the next twenty minutes the yard was filled with running, snow covered bodies. Snow balls were being thrown, then handfuls of snow being dumped on one another and bodies being rolled and covered in snow.

Through it all Megan laughed herself to tears as Bart explained, "We don't really understand why, but every Christmas season that these two are together this little display occurs. It's been this way for 18 years but they refuse to perform unless we are here to enjoy watch the show."

A few minutes later Caitlyn and Andrew, who were cold, wet and shivering wandered arm in arm to the porch, bowed, then headed inside to take showers and change into dry clothing.

Megan and Denise followed Bart into the house. Much like her own home, the Scotsdale's had decorated the inside of theirs with the holiday's finest colors. It was the tree that caught her attention; it had to be twelve feet tall and at least that big around. But there was no space anywhere on that tree to put anything. Lights, and ornaments, and garland and tinsel were everywhere. The tiny lights slowly faded on and off as bubble lights, (which she soon found out they were called), gave the whole tree an illusion of upward movement.

The presents in their multicolored packaging filled the bottom area underneath the tree and up both sides of the walls behind the tree. Only then did Megan smell the hot chocolate and cookies that Denise had brought out for everyone to share.

When Caitlyn and Andrew showed back up Megan greeted them both warmly. Soon everyone was sitting looking at the big tree and catching up. Megan was so happy, "I only have a few more weeks of study, then time to find a job."

Andrew smiled, "The quicker you get settled the quicker we can get settled."

Megan looked at him cocking his head in an obvious signal she didn't understand.

Andrew just said, "It can wait for now so just relax."

Caitlyn mentioned, "By the way Megan we have four trees in the house, this one and three themed trees. They are smaller but one is an old fashioned tree, only handmadeornaments and antiques are on that tree. Then we have a Teddy Bear tree everything on that including the lights are teddy bears. Then lastly we have Dad's nautical tree. Since he spent five years in the US Navy everything is either nautical or sailing ship themed."

Megan asked to see the other trees and Caitlyn proudly showed them to her.

Andrew then showed Megan that all the women in the house had their own mistletoe. A large one for Denise, a medium one for Abigail, and two small ones for Caitlyn and Megan were hung in different doorways. Andrew kept pulling Megan to her doorway to ensure he could keep the Christmas spirit. Megan for her part was not complaining.

"Megan" Caitlyn called "you are supposed to take a berry from the mistletoe each time you are kissed."

"Not on your life" replied a laughing Megan. "This mistletoe plays by My Rules" and she beckoned to Andrew, wrapped her arms around him and kissed him.

For Megan, her experiences in the Scotsdale home were wonderful, but the crowds at the malls and supermarkets were disquieting she told Andrew, "All this last minute rushing and buying and crowding takes so much away from the heart of the season."

Andrew waxed philosophical and replied, "Everything you do in life is a trade off. Some times those trades are easy, like making time for family. Sometimes they are hard, like dealing with the commercialism of the season."

Megan and Andrew went out with a group of Caitlyn's friends and sang Christmas Carols door to door in different housing developments on two different nights. Megan sang so loud she was hoarse after the second day.

Christmas Eve was a night for family. All of Bart and Denise's family sat down together and enjoyed a dinner of prime rib roast and mashed potatoes, Yorkshire pudding, green beans and hot rolls. There was also a large assortment of pies for dessert.

After dinner Caitlyn entertained everyone by playing the piano for the rest of the evening.

Christmas morning the family gathered again. Denise had all the kids sit near the tree and Megan was thrilled for the children just watching their wide-eyed excited faces. The two grandkids were almost unable to control themselves as the gifts were handed out to everyone and they were allowed to open theirs. Lastly, the adults were able to open theirs too.

Megan, without saying a word to Andrew, had brought parcels from England that she self consciously handed to each family member, shyly saying "Happy Christmas" to each one. For the children she had colouring books and pencils of Bob the Builder, Harry Potter and other English children's favourites. Her friend Caitlyn opened her slim parcel to discover musical scores, bound in leather, for English Church Organ Music. Her siblings received assorted Belgian chocolates, exotically made and beautifully presented with many containing varieties of liqueurs. Her gift to her hosts, Denise and Bart, revealed an Irish cut glass punch bowl complete with eight silver plated goblets and ladle. She kissed them both on their cheeks and said "I hope you like these. They say a special and permanent 'thank you' for making me feel so welcome, and giving me an American Home to come to."

Andrew cleared his throat noisily. Getting no response he 'Harrumphed' again. Megan turned her innocent blue eyes on him "are you getting a cold?" she asked. He stood and walked menacingly towards her and Megan dodged behind her friend calling "save me, Caitlyn save me" while laughing her head off. Finally she gasped through her laughter "Andrew behave! Your present is upstairs in our bedroom." The whole family erupted into laughter and cries of "way to go." Megan suddenly realised what she had said and blushed scarlet. Andrew grinned and said "come on then. Up we go."

"No, no... I mean... Andrew don't you DARE grab hold of me. I meant I haven't yet brought yours down here" and she ran out of the room.

Moments later she reappeared, still blushing and handed a gift wrapped parcel to him. He hurriedly began to open it. It was protected by a hard case and he cautiously opened it. It was a studio portrait of Megan herself in a silver frame, robed in her academic gown, erect, serene and confident, her blue eyes seeming to smile at him and follow him wherever he might stand. There were "Ahhhs" from everyone.

"Oh Meg." And he swept her into his arms and kissed her, much to the noisy delight of his family.

After the gifts and a light snack of homemade coffee cake, Denise had everyone pitch in and help load the cars with food baskets, blankets, water jugs and other essentials as well as a few small toys and games. The caravan of four vehicles moved swiftly through the deserted streets to areas where homeless people were known to congregate. When they found people they stopped and passed out anything they had that could be of help including bringing them to shelters if someone requested it. It took three hours but all the goods were finally given out.

On the way back home Megan asked Andrew, "How long has your family done this on Christmas Morning?"

He smiled, "Since before I was born, and they run a network of about twenty-five other families around town that were out today also. This is important to them to share their abundance with others, on the one day the homeless feel the need the most."

Megan held his arm, "I can't begin to tell you how full I am right now, my heart is just singing."

"I know just how you feel." Andrew said as he turned into the driveway.

Andrew brought Megan back to the present by whispering in her ear. "Hey, Dinner is ready," then kissed her lightly on the cheek.

Megan smiled, a sudden redness in her cheeks. "Sorry just thinking about some great memories, come on I'm hungry."

Dinner was great and Megan told Andrew so repeatedly. By the time they washed the dinner dishes and went for a walk to settle their food it was ten o'clock and they decided to call it a night. As they crawled into bed both of them became aroused as the other's naked body touched their own.

This time it was a slow sensuous session, Andrew's fingers played along Megan's back and over her arms and thighs. Hers danced on his face and chest, with a touch of her lips on his nipple, his hand now gently massaging the globes of her ass. Both bodies shivered in anticipation as they moved in unison to please the other. Her warm hot breath on his cock was followed by a hot wet kiss that enveloped him. His kisses on her puffy engorged nether lips, and that flick of excitement on her bud that made her gasp then tremble, and finally groan in her pleasure.

He was moving up and down her body; she needed his love around her and inside her. His touch was kindling her fire now and she craved it and the tension within her began to build as his actions became more frenzied. She knew she had cried out to him. Their bodies throbbed and pulsed. He stopped breathing for an ecstatic instant, but finally his long slow groaning exhale was the only noise in the room. Her mind was numb and he was heavily on top of her, slipping from her. Their loving slowly became quiet. Then he lay beside her, holding her in relaxing arms as sleep took them both.

Megan woke in the early hours and lay still beside her lover. She had failed. She had not told him. She was angry at her cowardice but what could she do? She was distraught at the thought of waking in his bed - he always reached out for her and renewed his love. Once he touched her she would be lost and would only want to be in his arms. She could not let him make love to her again and then, in the afterglow, tell him she must leave him. She must leave while he slept... should she leave a letter? Ahhh, when she had impatiently stuffed her study papers in her briefcase had she... ?

She stealthily slipped out of bed, naked as she collected her clothes and sneaked into the bathroom. Taking care to make no noise she closed and latched the door. She dare not shower, much as she needed to after Andrew's loving, because of the noise it would make. She ran hot water slowly and silently into the basin, took her flannel, or wash rag as Andrew called it, sponged her hands and face then used it to bathe her thighs. A little of her fragrant talcum here and there - god, she hoped she didn't reek of sex.

She dressed and gathered her toiletries then quietly slipped back into the bedroom and carried her shoes into the living room. Andrew lay quiet, resting after his exertions of the night. Her case was still by the door; their need to be together had made unpacking a task to be deferred. She rapidly re-packed her makeup, looked around for her coat and found it discarded, left where she had dropped it yesterday evening. Opening her briefcase she rapidly searched among her papers and found it. The letter she had written when in despair in her own flat in England. It would have to do.

She took a big chance going back to the bedroom and gently kissed his lips. He had hardly moved but a small smile moved across his face much the same way it does on a baby when you touch his mouth. She moved quickly to the bedroom door and looked at him through her tears. She held her breath then in almost a whisper said, "Good-bye my love, Good-bye my Andrew."

One final act, an act she was now thankful she had unwittingly prepared for. She placed the envelope with her letter, together with her keys, the ones he had given her when he first brought her to his home, prominently on the small table that held his own keys.

At last she was outside the door without disturbing him. She was at her car, ignition fired up and Megan drove slowly and quietly away. Before joining State Route 20 she saw a small rest stop and pulled off the road. Her chest was tight, her tummy a hollow pit of misery, her throat strangling her. Her head fell onto the steering wheel and she wept, her chest heaving as she sobbed. It was too much. It was worse than she had thought. It seemed that her body had ruptured and left part of her behind. Slowly she forced herself to be more calm "now the time has come to leave you... one more time let me kiss you... I hate to wake you up to say goodbye but the dawn is breaking, it's early morn'... the taxi's waiting he's blowing his horn... already I'm so lonesome I could die..." But she had no taxi. She was driving. She could go back. 'Oh god don't let me think this, not now.'

She switched on the car radio. It was still tuned to the classical channel and the music flowed and helped. Again the concentration on her driving, at least THAT made her push the agony to the back of her mind.

Albany. Return the car. Settle the bill after which she moved into the general waiting area. Coffee! She needed coffee.

It was very quiet at that time in the morning and few people were in the open dining area adjoining reception and the ticket counter. Two tables away sat an elegant, beautifully dressed woman whose dark brown hair, untainted by rinses, showed distinguished grey streaks. She wore a business suit in charcoal grey with a single brooch of silver and diamonds in her lapel. Other than that, simple pearl studs and a necklace of pearls were her only jewellery. Her blouse was white silk with a scarlet cravat giving a splash of colour to her sedate attire. Everything about her spoke of restrained dignity coupled with authority. She looked to be around 60 years. Her make-up was skilful and understated, her lips a soft coral pink, a tint of her cravat.

There was bustle and childish voices as a group of passengers entered and made their way to the coffee bar. An elderly man, tall, well dressed, tanned and with white hair, accompanied by a woman, perhaps mid thirties with a soft resemblance to the man, and three children. A girl maybe 11 years and two younger boys.

"Grandpa, Grandpa can we have cookies please let's have cookies" shouted one of the boys. The other was calling to his mother "Mommy Mommy it's my turn to choose you said I could choose going back."

The young girl with the superiority of the eldest child, said to her Grandfather "Grandpa don't give them anything. Boys are the pits."

The mother had laughed and said "Honey you won't think so in a year or two."

A movement to her left caught Megan's eye. The elegant female was sitting bolt upright, obviously discomfited, eyes staring, her hands over her cheeks.

The elderly man casually looked around as he waited for his order. His eyes flicked over Megan and rested on the woman. His glance swept over her then snapped back and focused. A frown. Pensive. Then he walked hesitantly towards her. He stopped at her table and she lowered her hands.

"Excuse me. But... Elizabeth?"

"Yes, Donald, it's me," and she attempted a light-hearted laugh.

"Elizabeth how are you? I haven't seen you in... It must be more than thirtyyears."

"Thirty three actually, Donald. Thirty four years come this September. September 12^th to be exact."

"Elizabeth you have done great. I've seen your name more and more in the newspapers. You're the President of EM Enterprises aren't you?"

"Yes. That's the holding company. We have four companies in the Corporation now. I've been visiting one here in Albany for the last few days."

"I saw you on TV last night. Big expansion I gather. Well Elizabeth you always said your career had to come first. You always were determined to get to the very top. I congratulate you. Did you ever marry after we... you... you know... after you went away."

Elizabeth attempted a laugh "No, Donald. No, I never married. I told you then that you had been the only man for me, if... if... I decided..." she stopped, her face troubled, a catch in her voice. "I heard of your marriage. A friend wrote and told me. I hope you found happiness."

"Yes, I met another girl. Fell in love all over again. Lost her last year." His face showed his pain. "That's my daughter over there with three of my grandchildren. I guess I've been one of the lucky ones to know two exceptional women. You were the first, Elizabeth."

There was the metallic call of the speakers "Passengers for Flight ABY 201 to Chicago is now boarding. Passengers please proceed without delay to Gate 5B."

"Well that's me" he said "Gotta go. Elizabeth it's been great to see you, even briefly. Sure glad that you got all you wanted out of your life. I admire you. Bye now."

"Goodbye, Donald. Good luck. I am sorry about your loss. But you are blessed with your family and grandchildren."

He stooped and kissed her cheek.

The children were calling "Come ON Grandpa you will miss your flight."

He walked away, the children running in front of him, finding the way he must walk. His daughter hugged his arm and was chattering to him.

Megan looked out of the corner of her eyes at the woman. She sat. Her face crumpling. Tears glistened in her eyes. Megan heard the whispered "Goodbye my only love."

Taking in a deep breath she let it out forcefully then looked again at the man slowly moving away from her. "Oh Donald, I have it all... power, money, recognition in a man's world, but I know now, without you I have nothing, nothing at all."

Megan was surprised as Elizabeth suddenly stood and walked hurriedly to the ticket counter "Are there first class seats on the Chicago flight you've just called. I now want to go to Chicago. I must catch that flight. Hurry, please it's very important."

Megan heard the boarding announcement for her own flight, gathered her things and made her way towards her check-in area. As she approached the boarding gate the song echoed in her head one last time, "I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again, Oh Babe, I hate, to goooo!"

She walked down the tunnel towards her plane with a deep foreboding, the voice of the woman singing the song etching the words into her memory. Repeating itself like a suddenly out of control tape player.

Andrew stretched and opened his eyes, after a big yawn he rolled over to find Megan was already up. As he turned over he caught her lingering scent on the pillow. He inhaled deeply taking in the familiar fragrance. It was elusive because she always used it sparingly but it was as if she were still there with him. He smiled then whispered, "I can't wait until I can wake up every day smelling, seeing and touching you my love."

He got up and looked at the clock. 9:30, he never slept that late, so he decided to jump into the shower then go looking for Megan. He needed to talk to her first thing this morning. Andrew looked around the bathroom as he entered the shower and he felt like something was amiss. He couldn't immediately place it and quickly dismissed the feeling as the hot water fell invigoratingly on his shoulders.

When he was finished he quickly dried off and threw on a tee shirt, shorts and slippers, then bounded down the stairs. He yelled out, "Meg, where are you babyyy?" Before his voice quit echoing in the empty house he noticed her bags were missing. A sense of dread filled his being, his arms and legs energized only moments before, now suddenly felt heavy and fatigued. Then it hit him; the sense of something being wrong when he was in the bathroom. All of her stuff that she always scattered across his bathroom counters when she was with him-it was missing. Andrew felt the bile rise in his throat even as the tears rolled down his cheek.

"Why, what had he done wrong, what in the hell was she thinking?" His voice sounded hollow. He moved quickly through the downstairs checking everywhere, but all the doors were locked. Taking a deep breath he looked outside; as he feared her rental car was gone too.

The pain was so intense his head hurt and now his stomach was in knots. His mind was going a thousand miles a minute as an intense anger began to percolate through the fog of his mind.

Running upstairs he grabbed for his wallet then headed downstairs to get his keys. As he jumped and cleared the last few steps he began talking to himself. "This is bullshit, she isn't going to pull this act on me I'm going to catch her in Albany and..." Suddenly he felt weak kneed, his throat constricted and mouth so dry he couldn't utter a peep.

He saw the letter and her house keys on the table beside his. Reaching out, his hand wavering, he took the letter and wet his lips as he said, "Oh God no! Please no!" Stumbling to the sofa he gently opened the envelope. His name was inscribed on the envelope in her beautiful handwriting. He was careful as he removed and opened the letter; it was as if Megan was somehow contained in the paper he held in his hand.

He opened and read her message with tear filled eyes.