"Who slammed the door with the stupid glib remark?" Which side of the bed???? Single -side b, (Good Song if you can find it) English Beat 1980

Alana Colegate is a happy child she has two wonderful parents who love her very much she is nine years old and is returning home from school, when she sees her Fathers car in the drive way of their home, and is happy that her Daddy is home early, and maybe he will go for ice cream with Mommy, maybe BEFORE dinner, her parents have been married for fourteen years, but they have been knowing, and have been in love with each other for like forever since they were kids not much older than she is, as she nears the house she hears voices inside, that is not usual everything is usually well not quiet, but peaceful, but not today, not only voices, LOUD voices, angry voices, Alana does not like this she has heard her parents argue before, and it scares her a little, but this time it sounds different as she enters the home...

"I can't believe how you did that! What the Hell was on your GOD DAMNED mind?"

"What did you want me to do? Hit him? It was an old man, I had to swerve to Miss him!"

"You could have gone right, you went left! Right into an oncoming fuckin' truck!" Alan is furious, Elena has wrecked his pride and joy, his 1966 Grand Prix that he has had since that summer that they were first dating, he was always meticulous with that car, and kept it in good shape after all these years, today when he went to have Elena's car serviced, and their other car with a flat tire and Elena had to get to her appointment in twenty minutes, and it was way across town. And you know the rest...

"And WHY couldn't you use the other car?" He asks sternly with his hands on his hips.

"It-HAD-A-FLAT-TIRE and I had to get where I was going, and I wasn't changing that dirty old tire! It would have made me late, AND filthy. You know what I do, and looking sloppy does not come with the job, and you already know that!" Elena shouting back at Alan, she's just as furious.

"It would have taken you five minutes to change that tire, and even if it had taken longer, you could have told them why you were late, and miss that old fuck who was crossing the street, I just bet that the old geezer was gone after you hit that truck!."

"You know Alan there's no talking to you when you get like this."

"Like what? What the Hell do mean by that?"

"Nothing, it was nothing, I didn't say anything!"

"Oh no you're not! You were thinking something about me you tell me what it was!"

"No I'm not going to say what it was, all you're going to do is get even madder!"

"Madder, I'm not MAD!!!"

"Then Why Are you yelling?"

"I-AM-NOT-YELLING!" Alan says even louder. Elena can almost see the steam coming from Alan's ears.

"You are too yelling, you have been yelling so much I don't know what your regular voice sound like anymore!"

Alan rolls his eyes and waves his arms in the air"Ohh, that is too much, I don't know why I have to put up with this, every night this week, I've come home and you have something to bitch about!"

"Are you calling me a NAG?!" Elena shaking her head, with her voice rising to a higher pitch.

"If the shoe fits! "Alan's eyes grow wide with a sarcastic smile

"Well, if we're going to point out little faults! Let me tell you one that drives me crazy!" Elena smiling sarcastically" Is this...

"WHAT?"... as the battle rages Alana hears the angry words come out of her parents mouths, she is saddened by the fact that they have been arguing for the last several weeks, and does not know when, or if they will never stop, and afraid that one of them may get hurt or go away, and as she hears the ensuing argument she curls into a corner of her room and begins to silently cry.

Later on Alan is at bar downing a few beers, he didn't mean anything he said earlier, and wishes he hadn't said those things. Elena is his wife that he loves so very much, and would not do anything to harm her, he knows the words that he said had stung badly, and that he should apologize, and bring home flowers, which should help smooth things over, and perhaps a small vacation just him and her. Alana can stay with one of the grandparents. They hadn't had one like that since she was born; he can't believe it has been fourteen years already, almost twenty five years that they first met. He doesn't know why the argument started, it's only a car! She could have been arrested if she hit that man, and perhaps he would have to raise Alana by himself with Elena in prison for manslaughter, but no, even that isn't why they had the argument. He sighs to himself, "Are we burning each other out? Is this the end? Does Elena love me anymore..."

"Mommy you're not reading anymore." Says Alana to her Mother, who is in bed with their only child trying to read to her, but her mind, is elsewhere.

"Oh, I'm sorry Sweetheart, I tell you what? You read the rest of it Mommy has things on her mind." She replies as she gets up from the bed.

"Is It Daddy?"

"Oh, no Alana, things Mommy has to think about. No need to worry yourself, you keep reading, and I'll tuck you in before you go to sleep." Elena smiles to reassure her daughter, and she smiles back picking up her book, and begins to read.

Elena heads to the bathroom, and decides to take a shower as she strips off her clothes she looks at herself in the mirror. At thirty seven she is not bad for her age," I'm not as young as I used to be when we first met I put on a couple of pounds since I had Alana, but for a Mommy I'm not bad or am I? Alan and I have been going at it a lot, and to be perfectly honest I don't know why we went at it today. Maybe before he get home I'll put on something that Alan likes and have a little drink waiting for him, and he's right. Maybe I should have went into that parking lot, but I didn't see it and that car is like our baby, but still it is just a car," she sees the gray creeping in her hair," Maybe he's not attracted to me anymore, I was young, just a mere slip of a girl, only a few years older than Alana, he was cute, just as handsome as he is today" Elena loves Alan with all her heart, and will never do anything to hurt him, but still why is everything lately so hard? "Does Alan love me anymore?"

Later Alan comes home he hasn't been like this in a while and he knows that Elena is going to have a fit, and he will rightfully deserve it, hopefully she will be asleep, and he'll just go to bed and sleep it off, and will apologize in the morning, he checks in on Alana and she is sound asleep. Alan smiles at the form of her sleeping, and closes the door, moments later he arrives in the bedroom and there's Elena asleep, curled up in the fetal position, he notices how lovely she is when she is asleep, so peaceful, quiet, that wasn't a description he would have use to describe her way back when ever so talkative, hardly the little blossoming girl he fell for those many years ago, she is more lovely now as she was when they first met. Motherhood has been kind to her. She is great with Alana when they're together, but a holy terror when pregnant, worse when in labor. Oh, the profanity she spewed at him when Alana was born. Then after she was born she was pretty much her old self, and was glowing with pride. Boy was Elena a God awful mess, if it weren't for their Mothers and Grand-Mothers help, both of them would've been overwhelmed by Alana, and everything that came with bringing her into the world.

As Alan take off his pants to change for bed, the keys in his pockets fall out, and hit the floor making the changling sound, which makes Elena stir, and wake "MMmmnnn, Alan? I must have dozed off, I was waiting for you." As she rises the covers fall to reveal the black lingerie.

"Well I had a lot to think about. We shouldn't have argued it was stupid of Me." he states looking at her in the lingerie very impressed at his wife, she is really stunning tonight.

Elena rises and walks over to her husband of fourteen years she hugs and kisses him and..."Alan, have you've been drinking?" She asks drawing back tasting the alcohol on his breath.

"I had a couple of beers." He says with a slight grin, and a shrug of his shoulders.

"Alan you know I don't like it when you drink." she says pulling away from him.

"Elena I can have a few drinks if I wish to. I am OVER twenty-one."

Elena's head whips around looking at him, "Few? Alan, how many did you have? First you say a couple, now it's a few? Which is it? A couple is two, a few is god knows how many, HOW-MANY-DID-YOU-HAVE?" she presses Alan to answer.

"Elena! I'm not a kid! And you're not going to yell at me like one! AND I CAN HAVE AS MANY BEERS AS I WANT!" He yells back.

"So you're drunk!" she charges.

"Hell no! I am not drunk! What the HELL is wrong with you?"

"Well I'm not drunk if that is what you are asking!" she says turning her back to him with her head turned up, and arms folded, erecting her wall of silence.

"Goddammit! Elena, I said I'm not drunk and..."Alan pauses sensing the wall "Oh no, you're not doing that again! Elena! ELENA! "Still silent, not listening, not speaking, she is like stone, she is angry, and so is Alan, and he is about to say something he will regret the moment he says it "I should have walked away when you first did that years ago!" that hits her harder than anything he has ever said to her as she turns around, her face drained of color, eyes wide in shock at what he just said, Alan knows that he is in for it, and he wishes he could take every word back, but it's too late.

"Take it back!" she says trembling, "After all we done together you say this?" tears are now forming in her anger filled eyes.

"Elena, I-I'm sorry..."

"How DARE you say such a thing! Our love! Our marriage! Our Daughter!" she runs off crying leaving Alan alone hanging his head in shame.

Alana in her bedroom woke up hearing the argument is again worried about her parents, she has heard them argue before, and soon afterward she would see them kissing, and making up, she hasn't seen them do that in weeks, and hearing what her Father said to her Mother, and begins to feel as if it is all her fault, and then cries her self asleep, and has night-mares.

For the next couple of weeks the house is strangely silent, there has been no arguments they both still sleep in the same bed with Elena's back to him, and Elena refuses to speak to Alan, who has tried to apologize several times, and all he get is bone silence as she looks at him with her big brown eyes that he had fallen in love with, and still is in love with, but he cannot seem to find the right words to make it better, and as ever Elena is still the dutiful wife, making dinner, taking care of Alana, balancing the check-book, she still loves her Husband. Right now she cannot stand to talk to him. Over the years Alan has never laid a hand on her in anger, but what he has said hit her worse than a punch in the face. She tries to hide it from their child, but Alana is very smart and she knows something is wrong. She hasn't been to her Auntie Gwens in a while (If you read Googy-Eyes you'd know the reason.)"Mommy, are you O.K.? "she asks her Mother, Elena looks and smile at her, this is her heart, and soul next to her Husband.

"I'm fine darling, why do you ask?"

"Well, you and Daddy are not talking to each other, don't you and Daddy like each other any more?" she questions her Mother.

"Oh, no Alana, I love your Father. He is the only man I have ever loved, but right now Mommy didn't like what he said to me, and it hurts me very much."

"What did he say?"

"Never you mind, it's between your Father and me. Don't worry yourself. "Elena strokes her little nose which makes Alana smile.

"Ok. Mommy, I won't." then she runs off to meet her school bus.

Then later on Alana comes home from school, Alan is cooking dinner, "Hey, my angel! Did you have a good day today? "he asks her as she comes in.

"I'm alright Daddy."

"Did you pass that math test today?"

"Yup, got 98!" showing him the paper smiling

"Well I know who got the math gene in the house. Your Mom was a math wiz when we were in school. Me I can't count!" he jibes his little girl. She giggles.

"Daddy?"

"Yes Alana?"

"What's wrong with you and Mommy?"

Alan pauses for a moment and sighs, "Nothing is wrong with Mommy, it's just Daddy being incredibly stupid, and Mommy is making him pay for it," He says while stirring a pot on the stove.

"Well Mommy says you said something that hurt. Don't you like her any more?"

"Honey, I love your Mother with all my heart, and sometimes we adults get real stupid, but you don't mind us, you get to your home work, and dinner will be ready soon and Mommy will be home as well..."and after dinner nothing has changed, except Ellen still likes it when Alan cooks and was looking at him googy eyed, and him looking back the same, but Elena stayed silent as ever, there is still a bone of contention Elena wants to talk but it still hurts." Maybe tomorrow" she thinks as she goes into Alana's room to tuck her in for the night

.

Alan is at his drawing board and computer working hard, when he hears Elena run into the room" Alan? Is Alana in there with you?" She asks almost shaking and her hand clutching at herself, he sees fear in her big brown eyes.

"Elena what's wrong, Alana is not here with me." Growing concerned and feeling fear in the pit of his own stomach.

"A-Alan, I have looked all over this house!" She says as the tears are welling "Alana is not here," she says in an almost inaudible whine.

Not believing what he has just heard 'Elena, that can't be right, Alana's is supposed to be in her room!"

"I know she's supposed to be in her room" she snaps" I was just there; I looked all over the house! Alan she is not here!"

"Just hold on a minute Elena, Maybe she maybe at one of our neighbors, at one of the kids she plays with.' Alan takes her by the hand to the phone in the Kitchen, they have cell phones but he's trying to hold her together as they walk to the kitchen to use the phone on the wall.

She is alone she has been gone for several hours by the time they'll realize they will be better without her to make them fight all the time, they will be happy again. Alana thinks as she walks down the dark streets, not knowing where she is going but it's for her parents she is thinking of.She has been down this street many times with her folks and it has never been so spooky to her before," Daddy has picked up things here before but had

always told her to stay in the car it could be very dangerous for little kids, but no one is here now and I can stay for a little while and rest my feet, as she goes into the rail yard, where there are rail road freight cars to be loaded later, and that is not the only thing there...

"No you haven't seen her? Not since yesterday when she was playing with Bobby... ok please keep a look out for her..."Alan hangs up the telephone and he can see the sunken look in Elena's eyes, as tears begin to fall again, as she asks...

"Alan, where is my Baby?" She cries for her daughter, hoping not to lose another child (See" Be Courageous and Be Brave")"Where could she go? Alan, please tell me?" she begs of her husband for an answer for which he cannot give, their Daughter is missing and all he can find to say is...

"Elena, I-I don't know" He says almost inaudibly, he looks at his wife that he loves so much, it tears him apart when she worries like this, he wants to hold her and tell her everything is all right, but he cannot till their daughter is safely back home, then he takes Elena by the hand" C'mon!"

"What... ?!? "She says confused

"We're going to the police they can do a search, where we cannot..."

Alone, curled up in a freight car cold and frightened, Alana wants to go home, but she knows that her parents will be just fighting as usual, she feels the tears well up in her eyes again as she knows this is for the better, then she hears the low rumble of thunder in the horizon, she is scared of thunder, always was, her Father would tell her of tales of the Norse Gods particularly THOR as he strikes his mighty hammer making the sound of thunder driving back forces of evil, that comforts her for the moment as she is not alone...

"Now Mr. and Mrs. Colegate before your daughter disappeared... I really hate to bring it up, are you two having... problems?"

They both look at the policeman, Officer Toody, then to each other, then back to him "Come again?"

He sighs then asks again," Have you two been arguing a lot lately?"

"Well... yeah, but I don't know what that has to do about..."he starts...

"Mr. Colegate a child's psyche is very fragile, she may feel threatened by the circumstances at home."

"But we try to reassure her that everything is alright."

"I know you have but the child isn't stupid, she knows something isn't right, Let me ask you Mr. Colegate... Have you ever hit your wife in front of your daughter?"

Alan gets upset by this question," What are you trying to say?" he asks as he begin to rise, Elena stops him with just a gentle touch of her hand on his shoulder, he looks at her for a moment, and her big brown eyes tells him all

"Alan... no."

"But..."

"Let me." Then she turns to the officer" Let me tell you something Officer Alan and I have been married for fourteen years! Do you know how long we went together?"

He shakes his head no, as Elena rises and he sees anger in her eyes." Ten! And you put it together and you'll see that we have been together for almost twenty five years, and I will tell you in all that time Alan has never laid a finger in violence toward me! He is a wonderful Husband to me and a good Father to our Daughter! Stubborn and pig headed at times..."She says looking back at Alan" But he's always a fair man and he has to know by now that I love him very much!" Elena declares

"And I love you too "he says from behind her rising and putting his hand on her shoulder and turning her toward him", and I'm very sorry for everything and take back what I said to you." and both their hands knit together as they look each other in the eyes.