Chapter 5: Reality Sets In

In the months that followed that first date, things were great between Beth and me. We had fun whenever we were together and more importantly, we learned to love the quirky little things about each other that make you who you are.

For me to love Beth I had to not only love the smart and beautiful woman that I thought she was at the beginning, but I also had to embrace the fact that, yes, sometimes she was a bitch. I have to admit that there are times when her bitchiness did grate on me and I didn't like it when she chose me as her intended target, but that wasn't often and I knew that it is just part of who she is.

In my opinion, Beth had done a great job containing her urge to snap at people and I'm proud of her for that. The situation in the office had changed a bit and not in the way that anyone would have guessed. I thought that if Beth toned down her attitude and started to socialize a little with the people in the office, things would greatly improve. To some extent they have, but not completely.

I guess that many of the people at work don't really believe that you can change yourself or change your attitude as Beth had done. Most of the people seemed not to trust her and didn't really warm up to her as much as I thought they would. They really didn't give her a chance to get to know them or try to get to know her. They must have thought that she had some ulterior motive or something for the changes in her attitude. I know she was very disappointed by that and began to express it to me regularly. At first it wasn't too bad, but after a while she got so upset over it that she was in a bad mood more often than not. The real trouble started when she began to take it out on me, which I really didn't like at all.

We started to argue more and more and the situation, as I predicted earlier, started to spill over into the office. The funny thing is that the people who didn't believe that Beth could change were the ones that forced her to change back gradually to the "Bitch" they all knew before. It was like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I knew that something had to be done, but I wanted to approach the situation delicately. I didn't want to have her blow up before we could actually get somewhere in the conversation. I waited until she came over to my apartment one day after work to talk about it.

"Beth, I think we need to talk," I began.

"Yeah, I know we do. Things haven't been great lately, have they?"

"No. Something has to give. You are obviously unhappy with the situation at work and it is really affecting us."

"This isn't all my fault!" she snapped.

"Calm down, Beth. You are the one that is tense, but I know that you have valid reasons for it. I think that for a while when we first started dating, you were doing a great job containing your temper and I was impressed by your effort."

"I know. I really want to be that person. I saw the way you looked at me then and I never wanted to be anything else. I could see the love that you had for me and it only made me want to try harder to be a nicer person."

"I still love you, Beth. My feelings for you have only gotten stronger over time."

"Thank you," she said as she sniffed back a tear. "I thought this was the break-up talk."

"Baby, no. I don't want that." I proved my statement by giving her a long and gentle kiss.

"Thank you, David. I really needed that. You are the only good thing in my life right now and I thought I was losing you."

"Things do need to change, Beth, but I want to change something else."

"I don't know what to do, David. I'm so unhappy and I know that I am making the people around me unhappy now too."

"I know you are and it is definitely affecting me and the other people at work as well. I'm really not that worried about them if you want to know the truth. I'm worried about you and me."

"Okay."

"I think we also have to talk about exactly what we are unhappy about. If we can figure out what is the source of the unhappiness, then maybe we can figure out what to do about it."

"Unless I miss my guess here, I'd say that you are just unhappy because I am making you miserable with my bad moods," she suggested.

"That's mostly true. I really just need you to be happy, and then I think I'll be happy too. I don't like dealing with the mood swings and worrying about you snapping at me or the people around us, but it's more than that. I want you to be happy because I love being with you when you are. I love doing things with you, spending time with you, everything. I've never been happier in my life than I was when you were happy a few months ago."

"Oh, David, I love being with you too. I want to go back to the way things were then, too."

"Okay. We've pretty much narrowed down what would make me happy, now we need to figure out exactly what makes you unhappy."

She sat on the couch and thought about it for a few minutes before she talked. She actually seemed a bit nervous which was not normal for her.

"Okay. I think you know one of the major things that I am unhappy about: Work. I just don't like going there anymore. The only thing I like about work is that I can see you around the office. Everything else sucks. The people don't like me and I'm never going to be happy working with people that I don't get along with. Before you and I got together I wasn't friends with the other people at work and that was okay. I made it that way. The thing is, since then, I have gone out of my way to be a nicer and friendlier person and I feel like I've been horribly rejected. It's one thing to not be friends with someone because you don't try to, but it's another thing altogether to try and know that you are not liked."

"I know. I see it all the time. People don't talk to me at all about you anymore because they know you and I are together. I think I know what the deal is, though. People are naturally paranoid that you are being fake or setting them up or something because you were not friendly for so long."

"That's what I think too. I just can't do anything about it anymore. The harder I try, the more they fear that there is a reason not to trust me."

"I have a few ideas about how to fix that problem, but let's hear what else is bothering you. I didn't know there was anything else, so you'll have to fill me in before we start trying to fix things."

She had that nervous look again and it was starting to make me nervous.

"This part is harder for me to talk to you about, David. This part is about you and me."

"Okay... Have I done something to make you unhappy?"

"Not really. I haven't said anything because you are probably going to think I am crazy and just run out of here, but I don't have any way to say this without just coming out and saying it, so here it goes. I'm not unhappy with you or being with you. It's actually the opposite. I love you and I love being with you. I feel the same way that you said you do about being the happiest that you have ever been when we started being together."

"So what's the problem then?"

"The problem is that we're not young anymore and I want to get married and have kids and I don't really want to be 50 when it happens. I know we have only been together for less than six months and the last several haven't been the best, but I still feel time ticking away for me. It's like an unconscious internal pressure to start a family. I know that I'm just throwing this out there and we haven't really talked about getting married, so I know you probably think I'm crazy."

I got up from the chair I was sitting in across from her and walked over to sit down next to her on the couch. I took her hand in mine and tilted her chin up so that she was looking me in the eyes.

"Beth, I don't think you are crazy at all. I know we aren't getting any younger and I feel the same way that you do. I have actually spent a good bit of time thinking about what it would be like to get married and have kids."

"You have? How come we don't talk about it?"

"I haven't brought it up because I didn't feel that the time was right. I'm not saying that I am ready to propose to you today, because I think we need to work on a few other things first. I can safely say that I can definitely see us spending the rest of our lives together. I love waking up next to you. I can't imagine wanting to be with anyone else. No one else makes me feel the way I feel when I'm with you, Beth."

"Oh, David! I love you so much."

There were some other comments in there somewhere, but they got lost when she started kissing me. We didn't even get to finish our conversation right then because we ended up have some very intense sex for the next few hours. We made love and we fucked. We did both of those things and more. It was the best that it had been in a while. I don't know if she was turned on by the future idea of getting married or what it was that I did to turn her on, but she was amazing that night.

Usually after we had sex that crazy we would just fall asleep in each other's arms, totally exhausted, but that night we knew there was unfinished business. We ended up going out to dinner to finish our conversation over some much-needed food.

To summarize the conversation, we decided that we would give it some time to make sure that we were both going to be happy in the long run if we got married and agreed that we both wanted that to be the case. As for the problems with work, we decided that Beth needed a fresh start somewhere else.

Beth was a great creative director and there were probably tons of jobs that she was qualified for out in the market place. We decided that she could be happy at work in a new place if she started out happy and started her working relationships the way she wanted them to be. She wouldn't have to struggle to change people's opinion of her and they wouldn't have any preconceived notions about her being "a bitch".

Beth started sending out resumes the following week and she was much happier already since she saw the light at the end of the tunnel with her current office situation. I could tell in that first week that she would be a changed woman permanently once she got a job somewhere else.

It didn't take long for her to find a position that she wanted and a company that wanted her. Several weeks later she got hired at a local advertising agency to be their creative director. She was ecstatic.

I knew that Beth had some vacation time that she had not used yet, so I made some arrangements to surprise her with a vacation between jobs. Ted had no problem with this since he really didn't think she would get a lot done in the two weeks that she had before she was due to start her new job and I had to use up some vacation days as well.

I had him send me out of town for a few days so I could make some arrangements without Beth knowing. We talked while I was "away" and she had no clue that I wasn't out of town at all because I talked to her on my cell phone and not a hotel phone. The first morning I called my travel agent and booked us on a week-long trip to Aruba at an all-inclusive resort. I had been told by several people that it was a good spot to try out for a vacation. My second stop was at a store that sold bikinis. I had checked her size out previously and decided to buy her one for the trip. It would be something that she thought was very thoughtful and at the same time I could pick out a skimpy little thing that I wanted her to wear. I settled on suit that she probably wouldn't pick out normally because she wouldn't wear so little, but it wasn't so skimpy that there was no chance that I could convince her to wear it.

My third trip that day was to the jewelry store. Yes, I was buying her an engagement ring. I figured we could find a quiet moment or two on our trip for me to pop the big question. I settled on a simple, yet modern-looking setting in platinum with a carat-and-a-half square-cut diamond solitaire. I had a feeling she would love it. It was very much her taste. I hid the ring in my things for the trip and waited until the next day to surprise her about the trip. I waited until she went to work and then used my key to her apartment to sneak in and pack her suitcase. I included everything I could think of and figured I could buy her anything I forgot.