Fifth Awakening

Not long after that incredible afternoon, Maggie called one day, and set me up with a couple she knew very well, the female partner apparently shared some of my physical... er... attributes. While I was in England that winter, I spent several weekends with John & Jenny in their country cottage, enjoying long hours of sensual fisting in front of a log fire. John was in his forties, tall, slim, with close-cropped grey hair, and gentle brown eyes. Jenny was in her early thirties, verging on voluptuous, but a beautiful shape. They were both very warm, attractive, and wonderful teachers. Jenny showed me all sorts of techniques and useful exercises to keep my pussy and arse from getting too loose. Pelvic floor squeezes being a principal routine. John made me cum so often with his big fists that I almost built a shrine in praise of them! On the last weekend we had together - I was going on tour again the following week - there was an amazing development.

We were all nicely stoned, very cuddly and loving as we slipped into the third hour of mixed anal and vaginal fisting... I had fisted Jenny for ages in her arse, patiently climbing deeper and deeper inside her while John slid his hand in and out of my cunt until it could glide smoothly though my slackened vulva, and then Jenny took over. She was fisting me with long sweeping easy thrusts that swabbed relentlessly at the walls of my man-fist-loosened cunt. I felt wider and softer than ever. Then she drew out, and looked at me seriously, sensuously, seductively, while John lubed up both her hands together! I bit my lip, my mind racing. I knew enough, had seen enough fisting by then to surmise what was happening. I could have stopped her, but I didn't say a word, I just reached down and held the swollen wings of my pussy wide open as she placed her praying hands at my door. John supported me from behind, holding me against him, his hands on my tits. I kept my legs wide open, stretching... I felt her fingers spread my butter-soft labia, and the sweet slide as she pushed forwards. I opened easily enough at first, they had both seen to that already! Then I felt the thickening, just growing, making me gasp. One of her hands slid swiftly into me, pulled out, and then it was the other one. Over and over she did this while John held me down, squeezing my nipples hard as I wailed.

She decided that it was time; that I was ready, and then stretched me apart with four fingers from each hand. I gasped as I felt my cunt gape enormously. It felt good, in my head and in my body. I needed, I still need these extremes. She put her hands back inside as far as she could, straining round the apex of two sets of knuckles. I felt my cunt widening, stretching out until I could almost hear the muscles creaking. I took a deep breath, and exhaled quickly. Jenny read my cue and thrust, with a sinuous twist, and her hands filled me like I had never been filled before! Every tiny bit of me felt marvellously full. I came at once, clamping hard on her, the spasms hurting as much as they pleasured me, but it was an irresistible sensation, to be opened like that, to take so much of someone else inside my none too large body. It did things to me, it still does.

"Fabulous!" Jenny exclaimed, leaning harder so that as the spasms stopped, she slid in to her wrists. I felt her fingers creeping, so many of them, in all directions... I shuddered and whimpered. She was entwining her fingers. She had made a double fist inside me! My hips began a sinuous response of their own accord. My eyes were wide, gazing down to where her wrists met. When she parted those wrists a little, stretching me yet wider, I cawed like a bird and shuddered from head to toe with the pure pleasure of the size-queen. She fucked me until I was utterly limp and weeping. I couldn't make myself ask her to stop.

Then I went on tour, and it was back to whatever toys or vegetables Claire could smuggle into my room. I went online, and found a range of latex fists and arms, in various sizes, from small female to large male. I got Claire - by now she was inured to my odd requests, and even made suggestions of her own - to buy several, clenched and with extended fingers, and they saw me through many adrenalised nights. A spliff and a long hard solo masturbation session, were still my favourite forms of post-gig celebration. I was surprised that I didn't feel lonelier. I had friends on tour of course, but you have to keep just a little bit back all the time. Alone in my suite, I could be who I really am, and at the core of that is my love of, by most people's standards, rather kinky sex!

On another level, I felt I was building on something in my personal life. I was single after a looong relationship that had staled, I was hungry for experience, for sensation, for rewards - for my efforts - I REALLY work at my career, believe me. I was now rich beyond my wildest expectations. I wasn't looking for love particularly; I'd had enough of that to last a while. If I wanted something, almost anything material, it could be mine - if I could bear the guilt of spending so much on pure selfish pleasure. The guilt lessened, actually, as I got used to having money. One day, towards the end of the American leg of the tour, I passed a pretty young hooker on Hollywood Boulevard, and it struck me. Men paid for sex all the time. Women must do to... It was ridiculous. I just needed to meet someone for some uncomplicated fun. But it doesn't happen like that on tour. I could possibly have induced Claire to share in my hotel room soliloquies, I know she's fascinated by what I might be doing, and she's an attractive woman, but I needed her for so many other things. I didn't want to change our relationship. I was exhausted, and yet restless. All the adulation I had been lapping up for months had suddenly stopped. Now I needed to feed the other creature inside me, the night creature, the sex-obsessed, fist-addicted slut inside the sweet, bohemian demure exterior. I found myself looking at pictures of male escorts in cheap magazine small ads. For a brief while, I thought I was going to go out of my mind!

I partied a lot to try and wind down, drinking too much, ogling the Hollywood glitterati, absurdly flattered when they quoted my lyrics back at me as being important to a moment their lives. But it wasn't what I WANTED!

One night I called John. The loneliness was getting to me badly, and anyway, he gives the most incredible phone-sex! After he had made me do all sorts of things to myself, which had led to me cumming three times in less than an hour, we chatted for ages, and he knew that I needed him to help, to be a true friend, though I hadn't thought I meant it like that when I called him. He wormed everything out of me like a trained psychologist, every kink and nasty thought, all my dirty fantasies of pain, of extreme stretching, and being used like a slut until I was a mindless fucktoy. I cried as I confessed all, not understanding what it was that could make me want those things. John led me through a maze of questions and answers, until we eventually analysed that my desire for S&M and fetishistic sex was significantly, but not entirely the result of my success and riches. There was definitely a part of me that had been leaning that way all my life, maybe to do with my father dieing when I was so young, feelings of guilt at being alive when the man Mum loved so much was dead, of needing punishment for his absence. But it had come to a head now, at the age of thirty, when I should have been at my happiest. John said, and I knew he was right, that it was because deep inside, I felt I didn't deserve it. I was just Dawn, an average English girl with an OK voice, and a cute way with lyrics. What was all this stuff that got in the way of it? I could never spend what I had earned already, not if I was the old Dawn. I was ashamed of being over paid, over-praised. I had turned this around in my head so much that it squeezed its way out that I wanted to be chastised for my success, and pragmatically, my ever-naughty subconscious had decided that kinky sex would be the best way to express that desire. I wanted to be punished, sexually used until I found some kind of redemption.

It was even more terrifying than I had first envisaged. John seemed quite unruffled as I ranted on about the unfairness of life. I'd never put these feelings into words before. It was scary... did I really want all that? I could want it, but having it was another thing entirely. Even thinking about what would happen if I met someone into all that, and then got found out, my career would be ruined, more importantly my family, Mum, Rowan would be so hurt! I couldn't demand John and Jenny fly to LA at my beck and call, just because I wanted to be defiled, degraded, and driven wild with pleasure... could I? And anyway there were things I wanted that I was pretty sure they weren't so much into, though no doubt they would have obliged, especially John, gentleman that he is.

"So you want enough pain with your pleasure to feel you've earned the latter, but you want complete control, and security with it, and no mess, no... um... leaks," said John with a chuckle, succinctly analysing my ramblings.

"Sounds simple doesn't it," I moaned.

"Oh come on Dawn, it's not impossible, not by a long chalk. Anything sexual is possible, if you have the right contacts, and as for security, well, large sums of money and even better contacts, they help a lot." And John seemed to know everybody. He's a bit of a fixer on the scene, counsellor, broker, whatever sexy fun is needed in the lives of his friends, he'll quietly point you in the right direction, or sometimes lead you there himself, along with the lovely Jenny. He's by no means a pimp, but he is a fantastic facilitator. I heard the confident jauntiness in his voice. I guessed that he had just had an idea. My interest suddenly quickened. Half an hour later, I had hired him as my party manager, and Jenny as his PA.

He kept the arrangements pretty much secret from me, to help build my anticipation, but he asked dozens of questions about my past, my sexual history, medical status, my past relationships. He was especially interested in Leroy. I even dared to tell him about Rowan, and amazingly he wasn't shocked in the slightest, in fact he said that we'd treated the whole thing in a very healthy way, all things considered. John quickly built up what must have been a thick dossier on my habits and proclivities, and then told me to wait for his call.

Sooner than I expected, barely a fortnight later, the call came. John told me it would all go off the following weekend, in LA. He told me to take at least one day before and two days after the party, off. If not the whole week. The itself party would last for a whole day and night, or as long as I wanted. I instantly cancelled the recording session I had scheduled for that time, even though it cost me a more than a bit in compensation. Nothing would stop me from starring at my own party!

I conjectured endlessly about what John would have planned for me. The only thing that I was sure about was that it would involve some S&M, because he had asked me to choose a safe word. The last days before the party were pure mental and physical torture, and then the date was upon me. John was due to pick me up at lunchtime from my hotel. I spent the morning in the health spa, getting thoroughly cleansed, inside and out. I waited in my room, nibbling a sandwich nervously until the phone rang.

"Ms Dawn, there's a limo for you," My heart-rate doubled at once. It was truly beginning, a new adventure. I was terrified and elated. I ran down to the lobby, and outside was a cream coloured blacked out stretch limo, a real pimp-mobile! I laughed nervously as a door opened, and I climbed inside. And then the party started.

John, Jenny - which was reassuring - and two large black men were filling most of the capacious seating area. The moment the door closed, locks snapped down, and strong hands seized me.

"What is your safe-word?" John asked me, immediately.

"R... Rowan," I answered. My hear was now bumping painfully, and I was having my millionth second thoughts. There was darkness here, and plenty of fear, as well and dreadful, wonderful anticipation. I shrieked as my top was ripped clean off, and huge black hands seized my tits, manhandling them roughly as other hands ripped my skirt from hem to waist. My panties were plucked away as easily as a cobweb. I was forced back into a seat, naked, panting, shocked. Then they relented for a few seconds as John held out three gelatin capsules.

"Take these."

"Wh... What are they?" I quavered.

"A special blend we find makes these parties more fun for the... star. You don't want to burned out in a couple of hours now, do you?"

I shook my head.

"Well, their time release capsules that contain MDMA, a powerful muscle relaxant, vitamin B12, for stamina, and a few other odds and sods that my friend the Chemist has deemed suitable for one of your build, weight, and tastes."

I swallowed the capsules, one after another, trembling with dread and that 'what have I let myself in for, ' feeling. It was years since I had done more than smoke my regular spliff. Even as they slid down my throat, John spoke again.

"Eddie, Pete... she's all yours till we get to the apartment."

"Thanks John," came a basso profundo rumble that oddly, I seemed to recognise. The speaker was Eddie, and as it dawned on me that his voice was familiar, I turned and actually looked at him properly for the first time.

"Oh my god... I know this man John... He was my bodyguard during that season I played at the Forum last year!"

"He remembers you too, don't you Eddie?"

"I sure do, Ms Dawn, and I've worshipped your ass ever since!" He rumbled. "Those three days... man you did things to my soul, even if you didn't know it." He laughed, shaking his head, presumably at his good fortune. I hadn't expected to see anyone I knew except for John and Jenny, it felt a bit weird. John must have sensed my sudden unease.

"As well as being a bodyguard, Eddie belongs to a very exclusive agency that hires out... well, guys like Eddie... to women... well... like you, Dawn. He's a very superior escort, as is Pete. It's pure coincidence that he guarded you as well, but he did seem pretty enthusiastic when I told him who he would be... um... servicing this weekend!"

While John spoke, Eddie smiled at me, and gave me the most gorgeous, liquid-brown-eyed wink of complicity. I realised, I think instinctively, that I could trust him, and then I felt fine.

"Have some of this, Dawn, and just relax, but from now on, remember, only your safe-word counts. You can leave the rest to us."

John passed me a spliff, and I took it gratefully. A couple of nice hits, and the moment of panic had passed. Now I was glad to have Eddie next to me, his huge hand heavy on my naked thigh... very glad. I could feel the warmth of him, and smell a sexy sort of musk... testosterone, which was in large quantities on either side of me!

I handed back the joint, and raised my arms, bracing my hands against the upholstered roof, extending my body as I stretched. My nipples were pert as hell, I was feeling buzzy, excited, and getting happier by the minute.

"OK, start the clock," I giggled.

The hand on my thigh slid higher, into the crease of my crotch... my legs parted as if by magic, and Eddie cupped my cunt in his huge palm. Suddenly my body came alive. I began to tear at their clothes, greedy to feel and see what they had for me. The slut was waking up.

"Mmm... you said she could be a feisty little bitch!" Cackled Pete, easing down his shorts. A black snake emerged, half erect, ridged and ribbed with thick veins. I glanced at Eddie, there was magnificent black tower pointing at me, rigid, pulsing, fantastic. I had two men who more than matched Leroy! I knew they would both fuck me at once, using me for their selfish pleasure that would inevitably give me mine, and I loved knowing it, anticipating it with a tummy that flipped and fluttered as the first of the drugs tickled into my consciousness. Let them revenge themselves upon me for my life of privilege... let them take the white girl apart. I shuddered with that special, deep submissive thrill-fear I hadn't known for nearly ten years, when I didn't understand it as clearly, or welcome it with such appetite. Both my men were muscled like boxers. They could lift, bend, twist, and arrange me exactly as they chose. I fell into a voluptuous state of acceptance, and as I felt the drugs kicking into my tactility, and my senses, Eddie and Pete consumed me. Their mouths covered and seemed to devour my small tits. I squealed as they abused my hyper-sensitive nipples with sharp tweaks, and hard pinches. Hard, sausage thick fingers found my wetness, frigged me rough and rudely in my cunt and arse. I fondled and rubbed and tasted their cocks whenever I could. I had a wonderful sense of fantasy becoming reality... and all the while saw John and Jenny watching, above this animal rut, and yet very much part of it.

Eddie lay on the floor of the smoothly gliding limo, and I climbed onto him, needing his big black dick in me so bad! He positioned me so that his snooker ball sized glans was parting my labia, and then draaaaagggged me down that long thick greasy pole for inch after inch. John had told me what the capsules contained, but not what the cunningly blended drugs would actually do to me. My skin and inner membranes began to feel as over-sensitive as my nipples, so that every touch, whether given for pleasure or pain, was enhanced and magnified many times. The swiftly increasing shivery E sensation made me quiver my tunnel down Eddie's magnificent shaft.

"Whooo... she's good John... you're good Dawn honey," my ex-bodyguard growled, thrusting upwards, filling me with hot maleness. I tossed my head and gasped, tummy shuddering as a wave of bliss washed over me. Not cumming, just bliss. Beautiful. I began to ride him, loving the close fit of my cunt around his cock, and then Pete moved behind me.

"Use this," said John, and I saw him pass Pete a black bottle of Eros, my favourite lube. He trickled it between my jiggling buttocks, and a few seconds after that, I felt a powerful pressure on my slippery pouting anus, something warm, smooth, and very firm. I arched my back.

"At last..." I breathed, because I had been longing for this experience since I first saw it in Rowan's porn mags as a teenager. To take two REALLY big cocks at once... in fact any two at once would have been a first, but two like this, so big, so hard and black, like in my dreams... My first time as the white filling in a black sandwich. I tried to relax, and found that the muscle relaxant was already doing it for me. I gasped as Pete managed to push his cock through the tightness of my anus, my inner sphincter, and then, the glory of it stretching my rectum around it's girth, while Eddie moved slowly, rhythmically beneath me, stirring the honey in my cunt. Pete grasped my hips, and drew himself deep inside, filling my bowels with his pulsing thickness. I had them both inside me, I could feel them rubbing against each other through the inner membranes. I shivered and began to squirm, as if dancing to an inaudible beat, my hips swirling as the cocks began to draw and thrust...

Two foot-long shafts of manhood were pumping my slight body. I thought of Maggie, of her amazement at my inner shape, and blessed her for the discovery. Leroy had wanted to set me up with another guy, and do a sandwich with me when I was twenty, but I wasn't emotionally ready then. I didn't know that I could be in control of it, even if I was the filling. I was scared that it would weaken what little respect he had for me. He would have used me before I had the confidence to know that it was fine to be used, if it was your own will. I didn't have the deep need to be a slut then, either, not like now!

Eddie and Pete knew exactly what to do. I wondered how many other women they had serviced in this way. They rocked me between them, taking turns to thrust alone, and then together. I was getting higher, looser, feeling sweet rushes of pre-orgasmic delight all the time. The movement of the vehicle led to some hard goring penetrations that made me cry out with weird delight, until Pete reached down between Eddie's cock and my groin, and I felt his thick finger finding my clit, circling it as the rhythm built towards the inevitable. I let my climax rise. This would be the first of many, I hoped! They drove me right over the edge, twin black pistons synchronising my spasms as I bucked and reared from cock to cock. They held back from climaxing inside me, and I just knew it was so they could use my mouth to cum into. On my knees on the floor of the limo, I rubbed myself to a second orgasm as I drank from each fountainhead in turn, mumbling with incoherent glee while the big thick spurts filled my mouth and dribbled down my chin as I swallowed all I could...

"Well Dawn, I hope you enjoyed the hors d'oeuvres... We seem to have reached the venue for your main course," said John, handing me a towel to wipe my face with.

The car pulled into an underground car park, and glided up to a double-doored entrance. The doors slid open as we came to a halt, and revealed the interior of a mirror-panelled elevator. I was stoned now, sweetly acquiescent as Jenny threw a coat over my shoulders, and helped me out of the limo. There was no one about, but John, Pete, Eddie and Jenny surrounded me protectively the few paces it took to enter the lift. John looked down at me, grinned, and pushed to top button.

As the lift ascended, John told me what I needed to know.

"You aren't the only celebrity who needs somewhere to... cut loose... and live out your fantasies and fetishes, once in a while. We're on our way to a special place, where this is possible. It's probably the most exclusive address in LA, and there's also one of these apartments in New York, and another in London. They are sexual safe-houses for famous women - not men, they don't face the same moral penalties. Here we have a situation where women are looking after each other, sort of mutually protecting their careers by sharing the risk. Now, you are a special guest, but for the moment, you are only a guest. Therefore, the members, if any are here today, will be masked in your presence. Our party will all be fully visible, as they have been employed by you - via me. I've chosen them with great care, and as you know, at great expense, just for you."

When we reached the penthouse, the elevator doors opened, and I saw what appeared to be a long opulently furnished corridor, with doors on either side, like an hotel. At the far end, it seemed to open out into a large seating area, with a huge TV screen, upon which figures writhed in congress... some kind of porn was showing. Two women, clothes in extreme disarray, wearing masks, one blonde, the other a redhead, were silhouetted against the screen, snogging each other's faces off. As they heard us, they broke apart, waved a greeting, and then resumed their snog.

I was abruptly steered to a door marked 'PLAYROOM.'

"Close your eyes Dawn," said John. I did as he told me. My heart was bumping along fifteen to the dozen with E and anticipation as I heard the door close behind me. The coat was lifted from my shoulders.

"You can open your eyes now," said Jenny.

I blinked for a moment, adjusting to the light. I was naked except for my high heels, and in front of me were a dozen large, fit-looking naked men, five white, seven black. Eddie and Pete amongst them, grinning, there were also three beautiful women, of whom I only knew Jenny, and a stunning young girl who looked no more than fifteen, which I really wasn't sure about, except that she looked so proudly, sensually precocious she had to be older. Quite apart from that, she had her left hand buried in the sex of the tallest of the women, a gangling racehorse of a catwalk beauty with tiny breasts and large, protuberant nipples, who looked familiar, though I was pretty sure I had never met her before. As I stood, gasping at this incredible display, the tall woman dropped to her knees and bent forwards, prostrating herself like a Moslem at prayer. The girl thrust deep a couple of times, then drew out her hand, still clenched and glistening, and wordlessly approached me. She held her wet fingers out to me, her eyes telling me things that it was hard to believe. She had a distinctly hypnotic power. I found my lips parting, kissing the fingers. I tasted the tall woman. I shivered inside. This was not the world I was accustomed to. I was in a very different place, indeed!