Chapter 35

"Hi, beautiful," I said, recognizing Tina's voice.

"Joe!"

"It's me."

"How are you doing? You got my letter?"

I grinned at her infectious tone. "Yes, I did, and I'm doing fine. Better than fine, actually."

"Really?"

I chuckled. "So much has happened," I said. "I know I've tried to capture it in the letters, but they really can't do everything justice."

"You sound happy."

"I am. Especially talking to you."

"Aww."

I blushed. This was a little too syrupy, but who was I to second guess it? "So, you're coming to D.C."

"Well," she hedged, "I haven't gotten in to Georgetown yet. I might not be able to come."

"I'm sure you'll get in."

"Well, I'm not. It's pretty tough."

"I'm confident."

"Thanks."

"So," I said, "what else is going on?"

We talked for about twenty minutes, with her sharing her life and then me telling her about mine. She asked more questions about Sherri's center, which I decided to be forthright about, answering her questions.

"Huh," she said. "Was she planning on this Center when you met her?"

"No," I said, "but I encouraged her. She really needs to do this."

"She sounds like an interesting person."

"She is. She's a good friend."

"A friend like Sharon?"

My chest seized. What did I want to admit? What should I admit?

"Yes and no," I finally said. "Is she someone I can talk about sex with? Yes. Is she someone I'm going to obsess about, like I did with Sharon? No. Sherri's real clear that this is only a friendship and that I'm madly in love with you. She won't do anything to jeopardize that. She won't let me do anything to jeopardize that. And I won't either."

"Wow."

The phone went silent for four heartbeats.

"Tina," I said, "you said you know what you want. I know what I want, too, and it's the same thing as when I saw you in Tucson nine months ago.

"I'm glad to hear that."

Another two heartbeats went by.

"Look," I said, "this is getting a little heavy. We can change the subject. How's Marcy?"

"She's good. She's got a job lined up for after graduation already..." The conversation slid into discussions of friends and quickly returned to a merry, lighter tone. Then it slowly shifted back to school and medical schools.

"I wish I'd asked different questions when we visited last year," she said. "I've learned so much more about what's important in a med school."

"So come out again."

"Oh, I don't know."

"Come out again," I said. "In fact, I really owe you a better visit than your last one. So come out and let me show you more of the city. Just you and me."

"Well..."

"Tell you what," I said. "Talk about it with your dad. If he's okay with your coming out, say in January, just before spring semester starts up again, I'll pay for the ticket."

"You want me to talk to my dad? You know what he'll say."

"No, I don't," I said, my heart starting to pound. "But I do know what he'll say if we don't ask." I took a deep breath. "I have to admit, he still intimidates me, but we'll need his blessing. Or at least, life will be easier with his blessing."

"I'll ... I'll talk to him."

"Good."

We paused again, and no words seemed to flow for me.

"I want to come," she said finally.

"Well, then, let me know what he says. Speaking of which, when are you seeing your family again? Are they doing well?"

We talked for another twenty minutes, but then Tina had to go. We said our goodbyes, more than once, and finally got off the phone. I sank onto the couch, a little tired, but happy.

The next call was to Allen.

"Hey," I said, "how's life?"

"Pretty good. Jenna sold two paintings last week."

"Cool. So everything's all right with you two?"

"Yeah ... why?"

"I heard a rumor you guys were having problems."

"Where'd you hear that?"

"Uh..." I decided to be honest. "Sharon mentioned it in a letter."

"Why are you still talking to her?"

"I'm not, really. The letter was the first contact since January."

"Huh. Well, she doesn't know what she's talking about."

"I figured, but I thought I'd check, because it's not like her to make things up."

"Yeah." He paused for a bit. "I bet she heard that I'll be in Colorado alone for New Year's. We're coming up because Jenna wants to visit some people, but then she has to head back for a discussion with a gallery owner. I was going to stick around a few more days."

"That's probably it," I said.

"Yeah. So are you going to be in Colorado?"

We compared calendars and realized we'd overlap, and so made plans to get together for drinks. We caught up on the rest of the news and he was happy to hear about my discussions with Tina.

"You are one lucky bastard for having her forgive you."

"Don't I know it."

"So let me know if ya need me to stand up with you."

I smiled. "Cart before the horse, I'm afraid."

"Yeah, right. It'll happen."

I chuckled. "I hope you're right."

"Well, we'll talk more in December. Later, bud."

We hung up and I couldn't help smiling at Allen's offer to 'stand up' with me. But then I took a deep breath. I had another call to make.

I didn't quite know what I was going to say to Sharon, but it didn't matter much, because I got her machine.

"Hi," I said, "this is Joe. I got your letter. I'll be back in Colorado on the 22^nd, and I'm only staying a week, so the 23^rd is probably the best time to get together. I'm not sure about the Greenbriar, though." I took a deep breath. "It sounds a little fancy for just friends." Anything else? "So call me."

I hung up, my pulse racing. While I was supposed to go to a movie with Lisa and Robert the next afternoon, I had nothing scheduled this evening. Rather than just waiting for the phone to ring, I decided I'd take a walk to the 7-Eleven and then delve into a good book. I grabbed my coat and headed for the door.

When I got back from the movie Saturday afternoon, there was a message from Sharon. "The 23^rd at the Greenbriar sounds great! I'll make the reservations. Bye."

I grimaced. While I certainly enjoyed the food at the Greenbriar, particularly their Caesar Salad prepared tableside, I didn't want this to feel like a date if it wasn't.

But what if it was?

The images of Sharon in her stockings, posing for the camera, and nude, under the shower, floated into my brain. My cock twitched in response.

Could we be friends with benefits? At least once?

My pulse began to race as my mind whirled. Tina and I wouldn't be back together yet, so there was no problem there. Besides, Tina wanted me to be over my obsession with Sharon anyway. Wouldn't actually taking Sharon to bed accomplish that?

Hold on. Sharon hasn't given you any hint that she wants sex with you.

I let out a frustrated sigh. It didn't matter if I wanted to sleep with her or not if she was going to say no. And I wasn't ready to ask.

I spent a bit more time that evening running scenarios through my mind before I caught myself. I really didn't need to slide into scheming, and I just didn't have enough information to decide what to do anyway.

The next evening I called Sharon back. This time, she picked up.

"Hey," I said, "How are you doing?"

"Pretty well. It's good to talk with you again."

"It is." I paused. "So, do we need to go back over..."

"It's all in the past," she said. "And we've got things to look forward to in the future. I made the reservations at the Greenbriar today."

"Uh," I said, "are you sure? That seems a little fancy for just friends."

"We've done it before," she said. "And I haven't gone out nice in a long time. I want to get dressed up."

"Well, what does that mean?"

"Dressed up? You know. Nice dress, jewelry. I'll even wear my garter belt and stockings, if you want."

I blinked hard. I'd been asking what 'in a long time' meant, but I'd phrased my question poorly and gotten a completely different answer.

"You will?" I asked.

"Sure. If you'll buy dinner, of course."

I snorted. "You'll have to prove you're wearing them, then."

"Okay."

My mind reeled. She was making this easy! But was it what I really wanted? Yes! On second thought, maybe not.

"I'll have to get some new ones, though," she said. "I've got a run in one."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I snagged it at Trish's engagement party."

"You dressed up for an engagement party?"

"It was at one of the restaurants downtown," she said, "and she invited a lot of people from out of town. I wanted to look nice."

"I'm sure you did."

"I did. And it was fun."

"So what else have you been up to?" I asked. She told me about her job, and about her decision to go back to school. We talked for a little while longer, catching each other up on our lives. Then she told me how some of our former classmates were doing. I smiled. While it was interesting, I realized that I didn't really consider them friends anymore. Not now that I knew how deep a friendship could really be.

"So," she asked. "What about you? Any extended news?"

I silently sighed. I knew what she was asking. "Allen's doing fine."

"Fine?"

"Yeah. We made plans to get together in Colorado during my visit."

"Oh."

"And Tina's well. We spoke for quite a while the other night."

"Really? What's she up to?"

I mentioned Tina's med school plans, and Sharon said she hoped that she did get into Georgetown.

"I like her," she said. "I enjoyed hanging out with her."

"Well, maybe we can do that again sometime."

"Maybe."

We talked a little more, and then hung up. Afterward, I spent way too long running the conversation through my brain. When I caught myself, I just chuckled and switched to planning the week's meals and grocery list.

The next weekend, I told Sherri about the phone calls over breakfast.

"That's great news about Tina," she said.

I nodded. "She might not get in, though."

"And if she doesn't, are you willing to move?"

I grimaced. "I could, because I could program anywhere. But this is one of the few places where I can do astronomy, even if it is second hand."

She smiled. "So which is more important?"

I sighed. I'd dreamed about astronomy for so long, and it looked like this was as good as it was going to get. Could I walk away?

Except ... did I want to fall short in love, too?

"Tina is more important," I said, firmly. "Now that I understand what love—eros—is, I'm not going to let it go."

That brought a wide grin.

"But," I said, "if I have to move, I'll also miss you and Lisa. Other than Allen, I haven't had such good friends before."

"And we'll miss you," she said. "But we'll be happy for you, too."

I grinned. "That's always good to hear."

Sherri smiled back, before becoming a bit serious. "Have you figured out what to tell her about how we met?"

I shook my head. "Nor that we've been sleeping together. Which is something that will have to stop, of course."

"Of course."

Since she'd been having sex with me largely out of agape anyway, I knew Sherri wouldn't be upset, and her tone confirmed it.

"So what about Sharon?" she asked.

I sighed. "I've spent so long fantasizing about fucking her, it's hard to give it up."

Sherri frowned.

"I know, I know. You've done a lot to help. And I think if she hadn't been the one to bring up wearing her garter belt, I'd be fine. But..."

"You're still hooked."

I grimaced, but then nodded. "At least I know I'm hooked."

"True."

"And besides, it might happen this time."

"Why do you think that?"

"I've learned," I said. "I won't overthink things or screw it up this time."

"That might not be enough."

"True."

There wasn't much else to say, and so we returned to our food, and then to other topics.

The next week went by quickly. I spent Thanksgiving Day at the Center, where we had a small pot luck community meal. That night, when I got home, there was a message from Tina asking me to call her at her parents. I only needed a single deep breath before I began punching the buttons.

Mr. Delgado answered.

"This is Joe," I said. "I'm returning Tina's call."

"Yes," he said. "I asked her to call you. You want her to come visit."

"I do. I've given her space, just as you asked, and she's made her choice as to what she wants. I don't see any point in waiting."

He harrumphed. "She might not get accepted."

I took a deep breath. "Then I go where she does get accepted."

There was silence on the other end of the phone.

"You'll do fine," Mr. Delgado finally said. "I'll get Tina."

When she got on the phone, she was excited and laughing. Her sisters had started teasing her as soon as it was clear that her father was talking to me. She was also bubbling over because her father had said she could go, as he handed her the phone. We discussed when and how and picked the dates, soon after the New Year. I said I'd make the rest of the arrangements. Tina joked about now having to get me a suitable Christmas present and I told her that her presence was enough. We chatted a while longer until the background noise from her siblings made it clear she needed to go.

I hung up, happy and somewhat surprised. Mr. Delgado hadn't given me the grilling I'd expected, and Tina was coming—actually coming!—to D.C.!

I floated on that reverie for quite a while, daydreaming about her visit. I wanted to wine and dine her. I wanted to show her the town. Yeah, I wanted to sleep with her, but I'd let that be her choice. Most of all, I just wanted her visit to be better than the last time.

That's when my reverie skidded to a halt. Tina's dad hadn't asked about Sharon, but I knew she'd come up during Tina's visit. I needed to be able to say where things stood, unambiguously and clearly. And that wasn't the only relationship I needed to be clear about, I realized: I still hadn't told Tina how I'd met Sherri. Would she still want to be with me when she knew?

I let out a deep breath. I still had some bridges to cross. But there was not much I could do before I reached them.

The first bridge was Christmas presents. Since Sharon had said she was going back to school to become a restaurant critic, I bought a couple of my favorite books about food, along with a book on writing criticism. Tina was a little harder. In the end, I found a simple ruby necklace that I was confident she'd like. It was a bit expensive, but also elegant instead of ostentatious. I hoped it wasn't too much, but not as much as I hoped she'd like it. In both cases, I completed my shopping, along with presents for my family, with plenty of time to spare.

What I didn't allow enough time for was getting to Sharon's for our dinner at the Greenbriar. It had snowed that day, but stopped a couple of hours before I needed to leave. I thought the roads would be thoroughly plowed by the time I went out. I thought wrong. I pulled into the parking lot at Sharon's complex five minutes before our reservation time, which meant we'd be at least twenty minutes late.

"What happened?" Sharon asked, immediately after opening the door to admit me.

"Bad roads."

She grimaced. "The Greenbriar's number is on the counter. Why don't you call them and tell them when we'll be there while I get my purse and coat?"

I nodded and tried to avoid tracking snow into the kitchen. As I dialed, I watched Sharon. She wore a dress I'd never seen before—black with a plunging neckline and tight around the hips and thighs. It stopped just above her knees, revealing black hose beneath. When we settled into the car I asked if it was new.

"Yeah, you like?"

"I do."

"I thought I needed something sexier. I'm tired of being home alone."

"No dates?"

She shook her head. "Not with any guys worth dressing sexy for."

"Well, then I'm honored."

She laughed. "I guess you are."

Sharon certainly did look sexy walking into the dining room, after leaving our coats in the cloakroom. I noticed a few heads turning as we were seated near the middle of the room. She ordered a martini while we were still perusing the menu, but let me pick the bottle of wine once we'd decided on our food.

"So," I said when the waiter had withdrawn, "no dates with guys worth getting dressed up for."

"Nope. It's been a dry year. I haven't..." she gestured with her hand, "since Justin."

"He's the guy from Boston, right?"

"Yeah. He only comes to Colorado for the holidays."

I raised my eyebrows. Then I decided to fill in the conversational gap. "So you've been celibate for over a year?"

"Yeah, and I really miss your stories."

I chuckled. "They're only stories. Why not get the real thing?"

She blushed. "I hope to, soon. That's why I bought this dress."

I bit back the witty retorts that formed in my brain and just grinned.

"So tell me more about Tina," she said.

"Well, we're not back together yet, but it looks promising." I filled her in on Tina's upcoming visit and her Georgetown hopes. Sharon was delighted, exclaiming more than once that she was thrilled we might be getting back together, and that the breakup hadn't been too much to overcome."

"So," she said, grinning conspiratorially at me, "you must be looking forward to her visit. You've been celibate nearly as long as me."

I couldn't help my small snort. "Actually, I have a 'friends with benefits' arrangement. We're not monogamous, and it'll end when either of us gets into something serious, which will probably be me with Tina."

"Huh. And you'll still be friends?"

I nodded firmly. "I don't think what we have now would work if we weren't really good friends. We care for each other, though it's philios and not eros, and that makes it work."