Chapter 16

Natalie sat next to Ashley on the lounge chairs.

"Where shall I start?"

"Natalie, please tell me who you are. I think you know all about me."

"Now, that's fair. I'm Natalie-my friends like you call me 'Nat' and I'm in graduate school at Poly." She chuckled and bowed.

Ashley breathed heavily. "One of his?"

"No. My roommate was. Anyway, we went to this fund-raiser. She got us tickets to be volunteer pretty girl greeters. I wanted to go, so I did. Sometimes you can find a good hookup at those parties. It wasn't a student affair."

Ashley raised her eyebrow, "Oh? You went with one of his students?"

"Alyssa was my housemate. She's the one who survived the roll down Donner Pass." She waited for Ashley to process the information. "Anyway, while we were at the party, Alfie put a move on me. He was smooth and pretty, so I went home with him."

"Goddammit! Alfie? My father? No one ever called him anything but Al or Alfred. He killed others who tried."

She took a deep breath, "Then, I remembered my mother's advice. 'Don't fuck anyone on the first date.'" She took another deep breath, "I followed him here in my car and then went home after an hour of hugging and kissing. I needed to know if he was serious. I was."

"He must have been some talker."

Nat laughed. "Well, we got close. I called him Alfie. He objected. I crossed my legs-ever do that Ashley? -Anyway, I told him that it was my name for him. You know, this isn't a journal in which everything happens in order. I'm trying to remember between tears."

"So, here is this graduate student who calls my famous father, Professor Justin Alfred Wilson, 'Alfie.' And gets away with it?"

"He was a pushover. Now, that first time, I was gulping air around him. I felt so attracted to him that I could barely breathe. When he came to my table for service, I knew he wanted Scotch on the rocks and handed it to him before he asked."

"I guess he had his charm. I'm so in the dark."

"Ashley, love, I hope some day that a man reduces you to pulp by looking at you. Alfie did that to me. I knew about his past, but I wanted to hook him. And, I looked good for a girl that night in my cocktail dress and heels."

"Why did you go for a guy so much older? You're totally hot. You have lots of choices."

"You can't know this. I'm hard as nails against men. No one gets through my fence. I have to get my degree and get out of here. Well, old Alfie ran his finger around my cheek and asked me to dance. My roomie told me he was sensual, but I had no idea."

"We're still talking about my own father here?"

"God! Ashley, you're hurting and I'm about to die. I loved that man." Natalie collapsed on Ashley's chair.

Ashley patted her back and whispered, "We'll work this out. Somehow, we have to. I don't know what to say."

After a few minutes, Natalie said, "I didn't intend to disintegrate and become a basket case. It has been a while since I had to deal with Alfie right here." She gestured around with her arm and cried again.

Instantly, Justin and Wu heard the sobs and came running to the lounger. Wu jumped up onto Ashley's lap and looked into her eyes. Justin tugged at his mother's legs.

Natalie said, "OK, we have to get control. You stop crying and I stop crying."

Ashley breathed deeply, "Yeah. Want a drink?"

"He gave me single malt Scotch and spoiled me." Natalie cried again.

Ashley said, "He left plenty. I'll get us one."

As Ashley walked across the deck, Justin ran toward her and took her hand. She thought, "I never considered this option." She picked him up and hugged him. "You're my little brother Justin. I'm here for you." She held him tightly.

Ashley handed Natalie her drink and Justin remained on Ashley's lap. Natalie said, "Strange. He likes you. By now, the little bastard is usually in my lap clinging."

Ashley said, "Don't use that word again. You're talking about my brother, here. Go on. What happened then?"

"Old Alfie put a smooth move on me and I agreed to come here with him. I went to the party in need of action. Had no idea that I would end up that evening with an old guy. We danced there. He was smooth. I know I'm talking about the woman skills of your father, but he was good. I'm repeating myself."

Ashley got to the point, "What about Justin? You do know that's my grandfather's name, too?"

"That's what Alfie said." Natalie finished her drink. "I never thought I'd have to tell you these things. I loved your father." She held up her glass.

Ashley went to the cabinet and brought out the Scotch bottle and ice. She said, "What about Justin?"

"Worst day of my life. Somehow, I managed to get myself pregnant. I don't know if the pill failed, or if I forgot-which is most likely-or what? I was doing doctoral exams at the time. But I had that," pointing to Justin, "growing inside. So, Alfie wanted me to come over for some loving and I said I had to go to the gyno to get a suction treatment."

"Did he know that it was his?"

"I knew. I told him if he didn't believe me, we'd do the DNA stuff, but I intended to get rid of it anyway. I didn't need to be the single mom heroine."

"He didn't think it was his?"

"Poor Alfie. He had no clue. I loved him and would never have fucked anyone else until he dumped me." She took a deep breath, "We lay upstairs in that bed and he asked me not to have an abortion. I told him that I had no intention of birthing his bastard child, thank you."

"Do you think he loved you?"

"He didn't say it often. I didn't need it much, but I think he did. He struggled so hard to say it, but he whispered it once in a while."

"You said he talked about me."

"When we were comfortable with each other and I regularly fixed his breakfast, we talked about our issues. He was worried about you. Thought you were fucking everyone in town. He was terribly disappointed that you did not pursue an academic career."

"He was always disappointed in something I did. What else?"

"You were the other bright star in his life. The other child who could. Then, you didn't. He couldn't know before he died."

"If you were his girl friend, why was that other woman with him when he went down at Donner Lake?"

"Alfie was complex. That woman-Alyssa-was my roommate. Last year, he promised to take her skiing if she defended her dissertation. He had his doubts about her and she saw it as a challenge and held him to it. So he took her."

"'Took' in what sense? Was Alyssa one of his lovers?"

"Oh, God, I hope not. She denied it. I cringed when I knew they were going to Tahoe to ski as he promised. When she packed her bag, she put in lots of her slut clothes. She said, 'I'm, going for lots of après ski. I intend to find a good one and get laid repeatedly.'"

Justin was cuddling against Ashley. She caressed his hair. She kissed his head. "Hi, guy!" Justin looked up and giggled. Ashley held him close.

Natalie said, "When he promised to marry me, I agreed to have his kid. I had no interest in marriage, but I had to have an abortion or go with Alfie. He said he'd set up a trust fund for Justin and we'd be married. Then, when he died before me, Justin and I would be taken care of."

Ashley cried. Then she sobbed. Finally, she said, "Nat, I hope we can find a way. I have never been more shocked."

"I didn't want to tell you. Alfie thought you'd be indifferent. Antagonistic. Hateful. I guess he underestimated you."

"What do you want from me?"

"Ashley! I don't want anything from you. I see that you like Justin and that makes me happy. I think he likes you a lot because he sits in your lap." Natalie breathed, "OK, I'm going to Austin next week for a job interview and I wonder if you'd want to keep him." She breathed heavily, "I have a regular sitter if you don't want to."

Ashley reacted strongly, "You're going to move my beautiful little brother to Texas?"

Natalie held Ashley's arms and said, "I have to move on. I need a job to get tenure. I don't want to peddle dogs all my life." Then, she poured both of them another Scotch.

Ashley thought for a long time, and then she said, "Did he take care of Justin in his will? I really didn't pay a lot of attention in the lawyer's office."

"I don't think so. We were going to go to Monterey the next week after the ski trip to get married. He was a troubled man. He didn't want to marry me, but he didn't want me to abort Justin. I never knew why he was so adamant. I mean, he wasn't a religious crusader against women's rights. Then, he did want to keep me and the only way he could have his way was marriage."

Ashley replied, "He wanted me or my brother to have an heir to carry forward the family name. I don't know why for sure. He died before he knew that I wanted to have a child."

Natalie replied, "His death was, as they say, untimely. I have no loving man who makes me tremble and I have only a small child who looks like his father." She gasped, "I haven't had any man in my bed since he died and I'm hurting." After she recovered slightly, she said, "I wanted to put Justin up for adoption, but at the time I was mourning your father and couldn't do it. God, I didn't want to be one more single mother trying to start a career."

"I can understand that. Nat, can you stay here tonight?"

"Sure. I'll have to cry somewhere. I'll go home to get some stuff for Justin and some clean clothes, but that should take only an hour."

Ashley could only imagine. "Go get your stuff while you can still drive. Come back and stay here."

Nat hugged her and said, "OK. It will be a tough night, but we have to do it." She looked at Justin and at Ashley, "I love the child. I waited too long to have an abortion. My choice was to keep him or put him up for adoption. It was a hard decision." She shook her head slowly.

Ashley hugged her. "I had no idea. None at all. Thank you for telling me the truth."

While Nat was gone, Ashley called Bill. He answered. "What's going on?"

"Jesus, love, I have had an incredible day."

"How's Benny?"

"Benny is now working full time at the Refuge House. Day and Night. He makes them so happy. So, I went to the shelter to get another dog to give him some time off and I have a new dog named 'Wu.'"

"Benny makes them happy?"

"Bill, you should have seen how nice it was to hear the women and children loving on Benny. He was such a gentleman."

"This is my awful ill-mannered dog that you spoiled?"

"He found his calling. I haven't heard any bad barks since I left him there. The women love him and the children love him. I have a new dog to take in tomorrow and I will get another."

"A new dog?"

"I picked her up at the pound today. She is a prize. Wu came right to me and adopted me as her own. She will thrill the women at the house. She's sitting on my lap right now with Justin."

"Justin?"

"Well, now for my next shock of the day. Justin is my half-brother. This woman, Natalie, who is the director of the animal shelter, had an affair with my father. Here's this lovely blonde woman offering me a dog while she tells me of her love for old macho. She took me to her office and I saw a little boy and had no doubt who his father was."