Chapter 15

Ashley returned home to find the dog yapping one more time. As she picked him up, she murmured to him as they walked upstairs, "We're alone now, Benny. You have to keep me company at night. Your master has gone home. I begged him to let you stay and I hope you don't regret it. I'll try to make it up to you." She barely uttered the last sentence before collapsing on the bed in tears. Benny walked around her head and licked her face. He lay down by her head and pounded his tail on her.

"Thank you, Benny. I needed affection. I'm so glad you're with me."

She rested a while as thoughts paraded through her active mind. She considered, "Either he will come back or he won't. I have only one decision to make. If he doesn't get the job, will I go to Georgia?" Tears overcame her thoughts. "I don't want to think about that until I have to. They should decide soon."

After drowning in misery for several minutes, she pulled herself together and went about the task of doing her email. Several of the items required thought and by the time she had responded to them, an hour had passed. She went downstairs and found a letter addressed to her lying on the counter. He must have put it there when he was the last one out of the house. Under her name was the warning: "Do not open this envelope until Sunday."

She reached for the knife to open it, and then thought, "What kind of sick bastard would leave that here knowing damn well I would open it." Then she put it down. "Shit." Then she said, "C'mon Benny. We're going to the office. I don't want to be here."

She sat at her office desk working feverishly and revealing more and more of the actual wood to her inspection. "I will finish this damn mess before I go home today." She worked another hour and felt Benny's nose against her leg looking up. He then walked over to the door. "OK, I'll get your leash. I need a break, too."

She walked through the corridor toward the back of the facility and found several of the women sitting in the lounge. They all looked at Benny and clapped their hands to get his attention. Ashley said, "Let me take him out for a minute, then you can play with him."

When she returned, she unhooked the leash and Benny went immediately to one of the women who called him. She patted her lap and gave Ashley a huge smile when he hopped up into her arms. The woman began making silly talk to the dog. "You're a cute little fellow. Yes, you are. You remind me of my Sporty. Oh, but you smell better than Sporty." Benny continued to wiggle and squirm under the flood of affection he was getting.

Finally, one of the others said, "OK, Alice. My turn. You don't get to keep him all to yourself."

Ashley watched as the three of them made a fuss over the dog. She realized that all of them had smiled and looked happy to hold him, keeping up a line of chatter that must have sounded good to him. He was having a ball. Ashley pondered the scene. A simple act like petting her dog had made them all smile and take their minds off their own situations. She said, "I'm going to the office. You can bring him back to me when you're tired of him."

One of them said, "Don't wait up. We'll just keep him here."

As she walked down the hall, she heard an infant crying inside and went in to see. She picked the child up and walked back into the lounge area. "Somebody isn't happy. Maybe she needs attention." She handed the crying baby to her mother.

The woman said, "Best nap she's had since we got here. I'm sure she needs changing and something to eat."

Ashley said, "Bring her to my office when you're through with her. I have a playpen."

The woman replied, "Thank you. I have to do her sister's hair and help her get her clothes together. It's hard to do when that one wants attention, too."

Sitting at her desk, Ashley mentally rearranged her office furniture enough to make room for a foldout couch. She had just the right one at home that was never used. Hiring the custodian and his son to pick it up should be no problem.

While she was deep in thought, her phone rang. Bill opened, "Well, I'm in Atlanta. I miss you a lot. Where are you?"

"I'm at the office. I went through such withdrawal at home, I got Benny and came here. I missed you being in that space and had to get away."

Just then, the woman came in bringing the baby. "Here she is, all neat and clean for as long as it lasts." She put the child in the playpen and handed her a toy. "She'll fuss for a while, but then she'll be OK here."

Bill said, "What's going on?"

"Well, Benny is in the lounge entertaining the residents and one of the women just brought me a baby. She is darling."

"I hope Benny behaves himself."

"He brought rare smiles to the faces of three battered women by just being himself. They're fighting over who gets to hold him next."

"He will be so out of control with all that pampering. I wish he had a day job."

"I think he starts today, full time. I just hope the health department inspector doesn't get in an uproar. He made those women happy."

"I read that some nursing homes now let people have pets. Maybe not full time, but at least to visit."

Ashley sighed, "I'm going to have that leather couch downstairs moved into my office. That way, I can sleep here if necessary."

"You're going to go crazy working all the time, day and night."

"I don't know. I knew that I didn't want to be alone in my house today. Here, I have people to talk to and babies to care for. Keeps my mind off your naked body."

"I'll have to find something to keep my mind off yours. It's going to be a hard time doing that."

"Enough of our misery. We'll have to work something out. Tomorrow, I'm going to the Animal Shelter and see if I can find suitable dogs. If not, I'll put an ad in the paper. I'll bet I get a lot of offers to donate a dog who is willing to be mauled by abused children."

"I think you're on to something. If they have a loving dog, cares will be minimized."

"When I was crying after you left, Benny hopped up on the bed and licked my tears. Then, he whopped me with his tail as he moved around. Felt good. Then, I decided to come here."

"G'night, love. I'm sorry you're so far away."

"I'm here. Right here where you were yesterday. You're far away."

It must have been after ten that Ashley finally decided to go home. She noticed something important. None of the women were willing to let Benny go home with her. They were still sitting in the lounge passing him around. Finally, she said, "OK, he can stay. Be careful what you feed him. I don't have food here good for him.'

She then drove home to a completely empty house. No Bill, no Benny. Just like it was before Bill came after all those years. After her shower, she stood naked in front of the total body mirror. "Why the hell is my life so hard? So many of them have it. A baby, a husband—well, maybe not that—and fish or cats or whatever?"

Even after a significant love affair with her vibrator, she was still restless. Finally, she found her way to the medicine cabinet and her prescription sleeping pills. "I'll use these no longer than a week. Can't work well without sleep. Can't sleep well without him. Why did I go to that damn reunion anyway?" For several minutes she replayed the reunion and the incredible thrill she had just eating sashimi with him in the corner. She imagined herself walking down the boardwalk carrying their baby as he pushed the empty stroller. Just before the sleeping pill hit, she wondered how long it would be until she knew her fate.

Monday morning found her feeling refreshed and remarkably calm, given her state over the weekend. She walked to the kitchen to hear the last few burbles clear the water reservoir on the coffeemaker. She sat alone enjoying the aromatic magic liquid. "Just like it was before he came. I'm alone." She sighed, "I liked it a whole lot better having him here, though. I don't like having my dog down there. I want him here. I need him here."

On her way to work she stopped by the animal shelter to inspect the available crop. Many were too timid to be of any use and the others appeared suspicious. She stopped in the director's office and gave her card. "I need a dog who can adapt to scared women. Small. Maybe I need more than one."

The director looked up and said, "I'll keep my eyes peeled. May I visit you and see the situation?" She had a pencil in her hand and kept twirling it around like a miniature baton through her fingers. Seemed like a nervous activity.

"Come any time you're in the neighborhood. We're always open."

For the first time, Ashley felt comfortable in her presence, and then had a faint sense of recognition. "Didn't you graduate a few years ago? You look familiar." She paused, "You're Natalie?"

The young woman replied, "Yes. You're Ashley. I never figured you for a person who would care for battered women. You were so cool back then." The pencil spun even faster.

Before she could contain it, Ashley replied, "Well, you went for the dogs. I didn't say to the dogs. I went for the women in distress. I guess we never know what others will do when they grow up." She noticed the spinning pencil again, "You were a majorette, right?"

Natalie looked at the pencil, "Yeah! I could never stop spinning a stick."

The remark was just enough to break the ice and when they stopped laughing, Natalie agreed to stop by Ashley's shelter that afternoon.

When Ashley took Natalie to the lounge, Benny was sitting in a woman's lap licking the hand of a child clinging to the mother. The child was giggling softly. The woman saw them come in and quickly started to put Benny down. Ashley said, "Keep him. If you let him go, he'll just get in trouble."

The mother pointed to the child, "First time in a while that she's had any fun. I think she put something on her hand to make him lick it."

Ashley took Natalie to her office. After examining the office with playpen, Natalie said, "I always thought you were a spoiled bitch. Now, I see that you're doing a lot of good."

"I was a spoiled bitch. Maybe I still am, but I had to fill in for my mother when she died. I promised her I wouldn't let her down."

Natalie replied, "OK, you go ahead and place your ad in the paper for the childproof dogs. I will give you first choice of what comes to my place. I'll bet that someone will want a tax deduction and you should find a 'used' dog in good condition who loves being abused by children."

Ashley replied, "I'll do that today. The women really perked up when Benny played with them. He needs lots of affection, but I'll bet he can't keep up with all of them."

Natalie said, "Um, could we have lunch on Friday? I'd like to know more about you." She paused, "I hope you don't object to my uniform. I wear it every day."

Ashley called up her calendar and entered Natalie's name for lunch Friday. "Actually, your uniform is becoming on you. Of course I don't mind."

"There's an outdoor place downtown that has good salads and sandwiches. It's called 'Fireproof.' I guess because it has burned several times."