Chapter 1: Long Hard Winter

Dave MacDonald sat doubled over with his face in his hands. He was physically and mentally exhausted - getting eliminated from the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League playoffs was very disappointing and close to devastating. He could feel the tears pooled in his eyes trying to break over the dam of his eyelids and rush down his cheeks to freedom. He had played his heart out; he had given everything he had but it just was not enough. The team's season had just come to an abrupt end.

He heard a noise and briefly looked up as the coach entered the dressing room. Dave glanced at his best friend and line-mate John Stewart who was sitting across the room with his head tilted back against the wall and tears running freely down his face - it had been a very hard loss. The best-of-seven series ended in the sixth game with a gut-wrenching home-ice overtime loss. The Missiles had been leading two to one going into the third period but the Charlestown Wildcats tied the game in the third and then scored in overtime to win the quarter final series four games to two games.

Dave glanced around the room and all the players looked the same - emotionally and physically exhausted. Dave closed his eyes and began to reflect on his season with the Missiles. He had started with the team late because of his junior golf the previous summer. When the team had found out he was going to leave again and miss another week of the team tryouts to play golf in the PGA Canadian Open, most of them had been very upset with him. Many players openly questioned his loyalty to the team and his desire to play hockey. But in two exhibition games before he left f or the Open, he proved both his desire and his loyalty.

After his outstanding top-ten finish at the Bell Canadian Open golf tournament, his hockey teammates seemed to realize how good a golfer he was and, when they welcomed him home at the airport, they welcomed him to their team with open arms. The season had been a dreamlike inaugural season for the Missiles in Edwardton. They started out strong and were in the top five of the sixteen-team league early in the year but, as some teams do, they went through a rough month and in January and they slipped to eighth in the standings. A strong finish in the final month of the regular season led to a fifth-place overall finish, six points behind fourth-place Charlestown.

The playoff format gave the top three teams in the league a bye in the first round and the next ten positions played off. The Missiles played a steadily improving Quebec Ramparts, a team owned by former NHL goaltending superstar Patrick Roy. Quebec won the first game in Edwardton but the Missiles regrouped and won four straight games to eliminate the twelfth overall team. Charlestown won their first round series as well which setup the showdown between the fourth and the fifth overall placed teams.

The Missiles had gotten outstanding goaltending from Jonathan Boutin in the series; but in the end, they just could not beat the very talented and hardworking Wildcat team. Their hard work and drive to win had not been sufficient. Dave was shaken from his thoughts by the coach as he addressed the players. He told them they had played hard and they had played well - and he was very proud of them. He spoke about the team finishing fifth overall and how, before the season started, the media had been predicting no better than a tenth-place finish. He thanked the players for their dedication. After he finished speaking, he walked over to Dave and asked Dave to come to his office before he left the rink. Dave simply nodded agreement; he was still too full of emotion to trust his voice.

Dave slowly pulled his gear off and grabbed his towel before he headed to the shower. He was the second player in the shower; that meant he could use one of the four shower heads exclusively. He adjusted the temperature of the water and allowed the hot liquid to sooth him as he stood under the massaging spray. He thought about his hockey season from an individual basis and he was very happy with his results. With John and Pierre Andre Bureau as line-mates, Dave finished third in the league scoring race with only touted superstar Sydney Crosby and his line-mate Danny Roussin ahead of him. Dave had scored fifty-seven goals and added forty-nine assists for one-hundred and six points. He had won two Canadian Hockey League offensive player-of-the-week awards which went to the top player in all three major junior hockey leagues - and he won four player-of-the-week awards for the QMJHL.

The season had been personally very rewarding. Outside the highlights of helping to lead the Missiles to a fantastic first season in Edwardton, Dave was selected to the Don Cherry prospects team. Every year, NHL legends Don Cherry and Bobby Orr each select a team from the players in the three major junior hockey leagues and the two teams play an exhibition game. The players selected are considered to be the top NHL prospects and, when Dave received a call from Don Cherry, he was both shocked and thrilled. In the game, Dave ended up playing with Crosby and the two of them combined for seven goals and six assists. They were a menacing pair on the ice and led the Cherry team to a lopsided eleven-six victory. The media went crazy over both Dave and Sydney and, because Sidney was not eligible for the upcoming NHL draft, most sportscasters were predicting Dave would go first overall.

Dave specifically remembered the media session directly after the game when the whole Cherry team was sitting at the head table in front of the various media announcers. Dave had already fielded several questions about his future and he specifically stated he wasn't playing hockey the next year but instead he was going to be golfing at a US college. During the media session a very familiar face stood up from the media crowd and asked Dave a question. Dave wondered if Farhan Lalji had been assigned to trail him by TSN, since Farhan seemed to be at every major event Dave attended.

Farhan asked, "Dave, I know you have said many times that your true love is golf and I was happy to hear you received the US college scholarship for golf that you have dreamed of; but, now that you are ranked as a top prospect for the 2004 NHL entry draft, will you consider a professional career in hockey?"

Dave smiled at Farhan, "Nice to see you again, Farhan; I'm not going to rule out anything at this point in time but my current plan is still to play golf in the US next year. I love the game of hockey but, as you stated, I have even more passion for golf - so I still definitely plan to go south." The interview continued with a lot of questions about Dave's and other players' futures.

Dave remembered his father saying when Dave got home from that trip that he was pleased Dave was still planning to get his education first. Dave confirmed that his education, especially education with golf, was very important.

Dave was shaken from his reverie by someone yelling and he looked at the six players waiting for a turn in the shower. He walked away from the shower head and cleaned himself with shampoo and soap. The mood in the shower was very somber and, when a shower head became available again, Dave rinsed off then left the room. He dried himself in the separate change room before he dressed in his dress pants, shirt, and tie. He walked to the coach's office and tapped on the closed door. After hearing, "Entre!", he walked inside.

Coach Vigneault was on the phone and pointed at an empty chair where Dave could sit down. Coach was talking in rapid-fire French so Dave set his head back and thought about the time when he had entered Coach Vigneault's office to tell him he was going to the Bell Canadian Open. The coach was not happy but Dave proved he could help the team so, after signing Dave to the team, Coach asked Dave to promise not to leave again. Dave had made that promise and followed through on it. He had been called twice to play other PGA golf events with sponsor exemptions but Dave regretfully turned them both down. He would not and did not break his promise.

He thought about the challenge he had had working out his US college visits. After meeting with over a dozen college coaches in his own house and investigating the various schools, he and his parents had narrowed the list down to four schools: Arizona, Texas, Wake Forest, and Florida. The first of those schools he visited was Arizona and the university was beautiful, as was the October weather but, deep in his heart, he knew that Arizona was just too far west.

The next school was Florida and he actually attended a Florida Gators football game. It was incredible and he thought at the time that Florida was where he was going to go. Watching over ninety-thousand fans pack "The Swamp" was overwhelming and Dave was excited about attending a college that could draw twice the population of his home town to a football game.

The next visit was to Wake Forest in Winston Salem, North Carolina. Wake Forest was a small university of under seven-thousand students and was nestled in the lush green surroundings of North Carolina. The coach was Jerry Dawes, brother of PGA professional Jay Dawes. Dave received a tour of the facilities from the golf team's All American star player, Bill Dawes, Jay's son. The school alumni included Jay Dawes, Curtis Strange, Arnold Palmer and Lanny Wadkins. The school was smaller than the others he had visited and academics were very important. The entire campus was network-wired and every new freshman received a laptop. Dave knew his parents would definitely approve of this school.

The final school was the University of Texas in Austin, Texas. Again, Dave got to see a football game and the Longhorns also drew large crowds; only slightly smaller than the Gators had drawn. The Longhorns' golf schedule included tournaments in Hawaii and Japan. The team had a history of strong finishes in the NCAA and, when Dave saw the golf course, which was operated by the university alumni, he was awestruck. The course was spectacular and the practice facilities were fantastic. Texas had been home to Harvey Pennick who was often considered a guru of golf. Former alumni included Tom Kite and Ben Crenshaw. Dave left Texas totally confused and undecided as to what college he would actually attend.

He remembered spending two weeks thinking about the schools and talking to his parents. He narrowed the choice down to two: Wake Forest, which was a smaller school, and Texas, which was a much larger school. He flip-flopped on both for another week before he finally decided on Wake Forrest. The major factor in his decision was the size. Dave realized that, if he attended Texas, he would be going to a university that had more students than Edwardton did residents. That was very intimidating. The second major factor was that the practice area at Wake Forest was very close to the residences. He hoped he would be able to continue his dedicated morning practices. He remembered calling Jerry Dawes to accept, Coach Dawes seemed as excited as he was. He signed a formal letter of intent that week and was thereby committed to Wake Forest.

Dave heard the click of the phone being replaced to its cradle, so he opened his eyes and looked at his coach. Coach Vigneault was never a man to beat around the bush and he spoke to Dave very soberly but with a heavy French accent, "Dave, you have been a pleasure to coach this year and you exceeded all my expectations. I had hoped you could add some offense to our team but I never imagined you would become the scoring and team leader you became. To tell you the truth, I very nearly cut you last fall when you told me that you were leaving camp for a golf tournament. I am very pleased I did not jump to conclusions. You are a man of your word and you have given this team everything you could. I thank you for that.

"I know you have said you are going to college next year and I know you have signed a letter of intent with Wake Forest, but if you have any second thoughts and decide to return to junior hockey, I would be truly honored to have you play for me again. You are an outstanding hockey player and an outstanding person. I wish you the best of luck in the future."

Dave stood and shook his coach's hand, "Thanks, Coach, I've had a wonderful year and you have taught me so much. I suspect that today was the last competitive game of hockey I will ever play and I sure wish we could have ended the season with a title."

Coach looked Dave directly in the eyes. "You gave absolutely everything you had on every shift tonight. You should be proud of your effort." The coach tried to lighten the mood a little by adding. "I noticed you chose a US college that doesn't have a hockey program. Was that intentional?"

Dave laughed, "No, it was not a conscious decision but I won't have to worry about a hockey team trying to convince me to play with them. Thanks for everything, Coach, and good luck to you and the team."

The coach finished with, "Good luck to you too, Dave."

Dave walked out of the coach's office and back into the main dressing room. John was still sitting in his spot with most of his gear on. Dave sat beside his best friend and slapped his hand on top of John's leg. "You played a great game tonight, John. That pass to me in the second for my goal was perfect. I should have scored on the one in the third too but that fucking Crawford is unbelievable." John just nodded as he knew that the Wildcat goaltender was almost unbeatable when he was hot and tonight he was scorching hot.

John spoke slowly as he replied, "Yeah I know. You fed me a beautiful pass in overtime and I even had my hands in the air celebrating the win when fucking Crawford snapped out his glove and robbed me too." John looked into Dave's eyes and as if suddenly struck with a deep insight added, "It just wasn't meant to be."

Dave nodded agreement before John said, "I really enjoyed playing with you this year. I guess tonight was probably our last game together."

Dave nodded again, "It probably was." Then he added, "I'm really tired and don't feel like going out, so I'll see you in school tomorrow." John nodded and put out his hand. The two friends shook hands and it was like a farewell handshake. They weren't going anywhere but they were saying goodbye to playing hockey together. Dave could feel tears pooling in his eyes and he noticed the same from John, so he simply nodded then turned to leave. Nothing more needed to be said. Their friendship would continue but their hockey partnership had just ended.

Dave walked up the hallway towards the rear door of the dressing room. He said some goodbyes to players who were still getting showered or changed. He walked out the back door and looked up at the line of girlfriends waiting for the players. His heart skipped a beat as he hoped he would see Katherine there, but he quickly realized she was not, and would not be there. He said hello to several girls before he walked out the back door of the rink alone. The closing door seemed to put a full-stop to hockey. The air was cool and there was still some snow on the ground. It was still early April but Dave was already looking forward to getting out golfing soon.

He climbed in his car and, as the car warmed up, he just sat there thinking about his winter. As well as his hockey career went; his love life had gone the opposite way. The fall had been quite good and he and Katherine grew even closer but that phone call from Jennifer on the seventh day of December started a surprising amount of trouble. Jennifer had called and asked Dave to come see her. He was immediately worried and wanted to know if she was hurt but she said no she wasn't hurt, she had met someone else and wanted to talk to Dave about that in person.

Dave drove to Charlestown that afternoon; luckily it was a Saturday and he didn't have a hockey practice or game. He and Jennifer talked for three hours. Jennifer still cared for him deeply but she had met a guy at school and decided she wanted it to be more than just friends. She had promised Dave she would tell him if she started to see someone new and the other guy had asked her out the previous day. She put him off until she spoke to Dave and Dave thanked her for that. Dave told her he loved her but they both knew he was going to the States the following year and that a long-term, long-distance relationship was unmanageable. Jennifer's parents asked Dave to stay the night but he said he wanted to get home. He kissed Jennifer goodbye. It was a very passionate kiss and it seemed it could be the last kiss he would ever give her. The trunk of his car door closing for the trip back from Charlestown seem to be an accent point on a closing chapter.

In the months that followed Jennifer and her new boyfriend, Mark Stevens, became very close. Dave met him several times when he played in Charlestown and he could see the bond growing stronger between them. He was a very nice guy and, deep in Dave's heart, Dave was very happy for Jennifer and slightly sorry for himself. Dave had seen them just two nights earlier when he played game five and they were clearly happy together.

Dave thought how that day in December also seemed to be the turning point in his relationship with Katherine. Katherine had not openly celebrated Jennifer's new relationship but it was immediately obvious that Katherine seemed to think she had won some kind of victory. Dave noticed she seemed to get more and more possessive of him after that day. He had always been able to joke with her about all the beautiful girls that chased after all the players on the Missiles and he thought she understood it was only a little teasing. He had never considered being with anyone except Katherine and Jennifer but Katherine seemed to grow more jealous of everyone female as soon as Jennifer was officially out of Dave's life.

The joking about the pretty girls stopped a week after Jennifer's announcement when Katherine and Dave had their first real fight over one of his smart comments. He immediately apologized for teasing her and swore she was the only girl for him and that he loved her deeply. He never joked about it again, but over the next two months, Katherine's jealousy got worse and worse. She would berate Dave even if he just said hello to another girl as they left the rink. The final straw was the day Dave made the mistake of checking his e-mail while Katherine was there. It was a week after the Cherry-Orr prospect game and Dave received an e-mail from Lynn, one of the Asian Triplets from B.C. he had met the two years earlier at a golf tournament. Lynn congratulated him on his season and told him she still hoped to fly east and see him someday.

Dave had told Katherine about Lynn previously, but this new e-mail sparked a huge fight which ended with Dave telling Katherine he loved her, but he wouldn't put up with her destructive and controlling, jealous ways. He broke up with her that night. She went home furious. She didn't talk to him for a week. Dave had heard through the grapevine that she had thought he would come crawling back to her, now that there was no Jennifer as an alternative. The truth was Dave really missed Katherine because they had become very close the previous fall, but her jealous controlling behavior over the previous three months had soured him enough that he resigned himself that whatever they had had was over. He was going to have another busy summer of golf and then leave for North Carolina in the middle of August. He had suspected his relationship with Katherine would likely end, but he wished it could have ended the way Jennifer's had - as friends.

One week after the breakup, Katherine seemed to realize that he was not going to ask her to forgive him so she changed her tactic. She phoned Dave and apologized profusely, she begged him to give her another chance. He was very wary but he agreed to try again. It only lasted a week before she got mad at him again for simply looking at another girl. Dave ended their relationship with some finality and told Katherine he wanted to remain friends but that was all. That was a month ago; she had not talked to him once since and he had not seen her at a single game. When he saw her at school, she would turn her back to him, or simply walk away. He hoped time would heal the wounds but he didn't know for sure - and it had become a low priority in his thoughts.

He realized he had been sitting and musing for some time; shaking his head, he pulled out of the parking lot and drove home. His parents were waiting for him in the living room and he sat with them. They said he played a great game and were sorry he lost. He just shrugged and replied, "Crawford was the better player today. I just couldn't seem to beat him." After talking to his parents for a half hour, during which he explained how the coach called him into his office and spoke to him, Dave went to bed.

The next three weeks passed slowly as Dave anxiously waited for golf season to begin. He had been spending a lot of time with John since he broke up with Katherine but he didn't actually ask any girls out until the last week of April. Prom-time was getting close and John already had a gaggle of girls chasing him to go. Katherine and her connection to the in-crowd seemed to chase most of the girls from Dave's school away from him.

On the last Friday night in April, Dave was at McDonalds with John when Ken Jackson sat with them. Dave and John had played with Ken on the major midget team the previous year and, even though he attended a different school than Dave and John, he had become a very good friend. They were joking and laughing when a beautiful girl walked by and said hello to Ken. She was a gorgeous red head and Dave almost choked on his burger when he saw her. He asked Ken who she was and Ken told him that her name was Rebecca Stone and she was in grade eleven at his school.

Dave asked if she was dating anyone and Ken said he didn't think she was. Dave said, "Well, I'll have to remedy that." He pushed Ken out, so he could get out of the booth and turned to look where Rebecca had gone. She was sitting at a table near the back with two of her friends. Dave got himself psyched up and walked over to their table. There was an empty seat beside Rebecca and he asked, "Do you mind if I sit with you for a moment?"