Chapter 22: Waking Up

News of the duel between General Selkirk and Captain Carter spread quickly through London. Harriet was at home when her mother returned from a visit with the fresh news.

“Harriet, it still happened. Tony and Mr. Selkirk will duel! Why did it have to come to that? I thought the matter was settled.”

“I don’t know, Mother,” Harriet replied. She tried to hide the triumphant feeling. Now Tony had to do away with that man! “I didn’t think Selkirk’s apology was enough, anyway.”

Eleanor Lambert squinted at her daughter.

“Are you not worried about Tony? I hear Selkirk is quite the swordsman, and Tony has a bad leg, after all.”

Truth was, Harriet had not even considered the fact that Selkirk could be a match for Tony. Now she tried to come to grips with her mother’s words.

“I have trust in him,” she said, but the uncertainty in her voice was obvious.

“Shouldn’t you put aside your stupid quarrel now and give him your support?”

“I can try at dinner,” Harriet answered with hesitation.

“You may want to offer a sincere apology, too, for the words you used.” Harriet had related her version of the fall-out, but Eleanor Lambert had heard her son-in-law’s words, too. “After all, he may fall in the duel. Do you want him hurt and upset at you in his last moments?”

Harriet swallowed hard. Perhaps for the first time she became aware of the danger Tony was facing, and a hard knot formed in her stomach.

“Mother, y-you don’t mean th-that, do you?” she gasped.

“More duels end with injuries than with death, Harriet, but it is still a serious affair. At least they are fighting with swords. Stab wounds heal better in general.”

“Mother, stop! Can we please not talk about it?”

“Harriet, the duel is not going away if I stop talking about it. Reconcile with your husband tonight at dinner. If you don’t, you might just regret it for the rest of your life.”

With that, Eleanor Lambert left Harriet alone. As soon as her mother was gone, Harriet buried her face in her hands. It was not possible for her to lose Tony, not thinkable. Yet, it was she who had precipitated the affair, with her snide remarks. She had not considered the possibility that Tony might fail at anything. He was perfect. He was the model officer, the invincible fighter. Or was he not?

Slowly, the recognition seeped into her thoughts that she had caused him mortal peril. She had not been concerned about his leg; it held up well enough over the last year. But then again, had he not complained about the cold weather and the pain it caused him, just a few days ago?

She fretted all day over possible ways out of the predicament, but she could think of none. She even considered visiting Selkirk and offering a full apology for her insulting words, but she knew that it could not prevent the duel.

Dinner time came, and Harriet made an effort to repair her appearance before she went downstairs. Her father was sitting at the table, his face grave, and barely looking at her. Just when the first course was served, there was commotion in the hall, and Sir Richard stood from the table to investigate. He was gone for a long time, almost a half hour, and when he returned, the look he cast at his daughter was laced with deep disappointment, even loathing. He sat down at the table and ordered the servants to leave the room. When the butler had closed the door from the outside, Sir Richard turned to Harriet.

“Well, what do you have to say in your favour?”

Her mother looked from her husband to her daughter, and back.

“What is this about, Richard?”

“Did Harriet tell you that she is the cause for the duel? Did she tell you that she spread insulting rumours about Selkirk in public, just so that Anthony would have to face Selkirk and kill him? All this, because Anthony refused to continue this pointless feud?”

“Tell me you didn’t, Harriet!” Eleanor Lambert gasped.

Harriet looked down at her hands, her face red with shame.

“I ... I didn’t think...”

“Didn’t think?” Sir Richard stormed. “You’re not a child, Harriet! You of all people should know that men die in duels. What is wrong with Anthony that you want him dead?”

“I wanted him to avenge Amanda and her son,” she said weakly.

“It is my understanding that Selkirk offered a very sincere apology?” Eleanor Lambert asked.

That brought back some spark into Harriet.

“Will that bring Amanda back to life, or her son? He killed them with his scheming!”

“So you decided to stoop to his level, by scheming to have him killed by your husband,” Sir Richard stated coldly. “My felicitations, Harriet. You may lose your husband, whichever way this affair will play out. Anthony made it clear that, should he survive, he doesn’t want you to follow him to Dublin.”

“Why wouldn’t he?” Harriet protested.

“Do you honestly believe he wants to see you? First you accused him of cowardice — Yes, I know about that, too! — and then you schemed to bring him into mortal peril. I fear he may be through with you, Harriet, and you have only yourself to blame.”

“Isn’t that a trifle harsh, Richard?” Harriet’s mother interceded. “I’m sure Harriet did not plan this to see Tony hurt or killed.”

“Maybe not, but at the very least, she aimed to use him as an assassin to kill Selkirk. She schemed to have a man killed, to satisfy her stupid pride.”

Harriet was past answering. Her mind was racing, but she found no possible way to justify her actions. And then, with a searing pain, she realised that all this was moot. No matter if she could justify herself, she was losing Tony.

“Where is he?” she blurted, as tears streamed over her cheeks. “I must see him before ... I must see him before tomorrow!”

“That’s impossible. He returned to his ship, and he is trying to find some sleep. He left his updated will with me, and a letter for Richard. Leave him alone. He has to meet Selkirk at sunrise, and he will need his sleep.”

“Will you be there at the duel, Father?”

Sir Richard shook his head.

“I am not party of the proceedings. This is between the combatants and their seconds. I can only watch from a distance. Resign yourself.”

“Resign myself? He’s my husband!” Harriet returned.

“That would have been a good thing to remember before you set this affair into motion. You can’t do anything. The only thing left is to hope, and then, if he survives, you can beg his forgiveness; not that I give this much of a chance.”

Eleanor Lambert sighed heavily.

“Your father is right. You better go upstairs now.”

Harriet nodded.

“I understand. You rather not see me?”

“We do not feel very fond of you right now, Harriet,” Sir Richard stated stiffly.

“Oh!” Harriet had to swallow. “Well, as soon as the Asia weighs anchor, I shall move to High Matcham, to raise our children. This is where Anthony will find me if he ever decides to forgive me. He will survive! I know it. I believe in him.”

Without a further word, she left the dinner hall and went to her rooms. She briefly looked after the children. Little Richard was sleeping, and Emily sat in bed whilst the nanny read to her from a book. She gave the girl a good-night kiss and then went to their bedroom and changed into street clothes. Considering it was night and where she was heading, she picked up the pistol that her father had given her to protect herself against Rupert Palmer. It was a small, twin-barrelled pistol that fit easily in her purse. She renewed the priming and stuffed the pistol into the purse before she crept downstairs and out of the front door.

The streets were not empty yet, and Harriet had no problems finding a cab. Only when she arrived at the embankment, opposite Asia’s anchor place, she realised that she was being foolhardy. The quayside was mostly deserted, with a few sailors and dockworkers walking in the unsteady gait of drunks. She looked up and down the quay to find a boatman willing to bring her out to the Asia when two men approached her in a drunk swagger, grinning broadly.

“‘Ello, wot ‘ave we ‘ere? Out looking fer some fun, are ye?”

Harriet fix the men with a cold stare. Unfortunately, in the darkness of the late evening, a stare was not much of a help.

“I’ll thank you to leave me alone!” she snapped therefore.

“Oooh, she’s laydy, orlroight,” the second man slurred. “Ne’er had me a laydy before, nohow!”

He swaggered closer but stopped when he saw the barrels of the pistol, gleaming in the weak light.

“Now, thet’s no way ter treat yer lover, aye? I’ll bet ye, ye ha’ ne’er shot a pistol in yer loife!”

Harriet pulled back the left hammer and raised the gun.

“You’d wager your life?” she asked coldly.

The sounds of footsteps were suddenly heard, nailed shoes on cobble stones.

“What’s going on here?” a voice rapped whilst Harriet heard the unmistakable sound of a sword unsheathed. She breathed a sigh of relief. Whoever approached, he was an officer.

“Those two rascals are accosting me,” she cried.

“Are they? Let’s have a look at them. Madam, you may want to point your pistol elsewhere.”

The man, wearing a lieutenant’s uniform, came closer and inspected the two drunkards.

“Simms and Pollock, by God! You imbeciles molested a lady? Away with you! I shall deal with you come the morning, and I doubt you’ll be boatswain’s mates for much longer!”

The drunkards, now realising the extent of their blunder, shrank away. The officer turned to Harriet.

“Madam, let me assure you that both miscreants will receive their punishment. I am Lt. O’Shaunessy, at your service.”

“Lady Carter. Thank you for your help.”

He bowed deeply.

“I’m sorry, Lady Carter, that I did not recognise you. I am 4th lieutenant in your husband’s ship. Should I help you to find a cab?”

“No, Mr. O’Shaunessy, I need to visit my husband in the Asia. I was hoping to find a boat,...”

“Does Sir Anthony expect you?”

“No, I had no time to announce my visit. It is rather urgent.”

“In that case, milady, if you will follow me!”

“Thank you, Mr. O’Shaunessy.”

He was a rather good-looking fellow, Harriet noted subconsciously. Not overly tall and slim of figure, he nevertheless exuded self-confidence and authority. He led her to a slippery steps in the quay where a side boat was waiting for late stragglers.

“See us over at once!” O’Shaunessy snapped at the midshipman in charge of the boat.

The boat ride was less than two minutes. When the boat was hailed, the midshipman answered “Aye-aye!”, as the traditional signal that an officer was coming aboard. O’Shaunessy helped Harriet to find her footing on the Jacob’s ladder and followed her up, to guard her against a fall into the cold river. The officer of the watch was surprised to see Harriet, but she left him no time to think. She followed the midshipman of the watch to the cabin she knew so well and held her breath when the boy knocked.

“Sir Anthony, Lady Carter to see you!”

A few moments later, they heard Tony’s voice, laced with anger.

“Send her in!”

The sentry opened the door and Harriet stepped in, her heart beating wildly.

“What in hell do you want?” he asked without so much as a nod in greeting.

“I came to be with you tonight.”

“Are you out of your mind, Harriet?” he whispered angrily. “I made it clear to your father that I don’t want to see you!”

Harriet exhaled deeply.

“I am not my father, and I refuse to leave. I am your wife. I made a terrible mistake, I know that, but I shan’t leave you alone tonight. You are angry at me, and I deserve it. I wish there was a way to undo what I did, but there isn’t. The last words we spoke were in anger, and I cannot let them be the last words we ever spoke.”

“I’m not dead yet,” he snapped.

“I know, and I believe in you. I cannot help but be afraid for you, though. I know you cannot believe me right this moment, but I do love you. You are the only man I’ll ever love.”

“This is indeed hard to believe, after what you said and did.”

“I know. I made a terrible mistake and I shall ask your forgiveness once this is over. Not tonight, though. Tonight I only came to offer my support and my care. Use me however you want, punish me even! You won’t have to see me after tomorrow. I’ll take Richard and Emily to High Matcham, and I’ll stay there until you’ll allow me back into your life again. Just don’t send me away tonight!”

Somehow, the urgency of her plea had an effect.

“I have to be up by four bells,” he said tentatively.

“That’s almost eight hours. Just rest, and I’ll do my best to comfort you.”

He looked at her for a long time before he nodded.

“Stay then, but not to comfort me. We must discuss Richard’s future, and Emily’s, too. If Richard grows up without a father, I don’t want you to spoil him.”

Harriet could not help it. The mentioning of Richard growing up as an orphan broke what self control she had and the tears began to run down over her cheeks.

“I’m s-s-sorry! I d-d-did n-not want t-to c-cry,” she managed to say between sobs. She dabbed her eyes and blew her nose in a valiant effort to stem the tears. “Please, don’t speak that way. You will survive. You will be there for Richard.”

Tony shook his head.

“Harriet, even if this is taxing for you, we have to face the possibility that I won’t survive tomorrow. It is also a talk we should have anyway. I’m a sailor. Even when I don’t duel, there is a chance I shall not return one day. You said, you’d be here for me, and this is what I want to discuss. It is important to me.”

Inhaling deeply, Harriet controlled her sobbing and nodded.

“You are right. Forgive my weakness. I just can’t stand the thought ... And that it’s my fault.”

“Why then, Harriet? Why was the revenge on Selkirk so important?”

“I don’t know! I was insane. It was like an idée fixe in my mind that you would punish Selkirk, and when you wouldn’t, I didn’t once think about your reasons. I just wanted it done and I wanted you to do it. I know now how I must look like a scheming harpy in your eyes, but I swear on Richard’s life that if you ever find forgiveness for me, I shall never, ever hurt you again!”

“Harriet, that may take time. What you said to me and about me was hurting. You claim to love me, yet you accused me of being subservient and cowardly.”

“I don’t know what possessed me to say that, Tony. I even called you an upstart, as if it were a bad thing that you made your way in the service without a powerful family to back you up. I didn’t mean those things I said. I just tried to say the meanest things I could think of, because you didn’t do what I wanted.”

“Will it be the same the next time I am unwilling to grant you an unreasonable wish?”

“No! If you ever find it in your heart to forgive me, I’ll never speak out of turn again! I swear it.”

There was a ghost of a smile on his lips, Harriet could see.

“Harriet, I don’t want obsequiousness from you either. When I’m wrong about something, call me on it! When I do something that hurts you or Richard, tell me! Just recognise that I won’t do things that I feel are wrong and dishonourable. I’m not your puppet, Harriet.”

“Yes, I know, I know it now at least. Maybe things went too much my way, all my life. Even when ... When I was married to Rupert Palmer, my parents and friends forgave me everything, because my life was so terrible. You, too, always try to please me. I wasn’t prepared to hear a ‘no’ from you. Even tonight, I barge into your cabin and cost you your sleep. Please, Anthony, will you lie on your cot? We can talk until you fall asleep, but if we stay up, you will never get rested.”

Tony acquiesced to her suggestion and undressed to his shirt. The chamber was cold, and he slipped under his double blanket. After a short hesitation, Harriet followed his lead and pressed against his back, hugging him from behind.

“Tell me about your ideas how the children should be brought up,” she asked bravely.

Over the next hour, they spoke without rancour, discussing Richard and Emily’s future. There were surprisingly few differences of opinion, and the conversation died down shortly before midnight. One moment, they were exchanging views on home tutors versus public schools, the next moment, Harriet woke up from a knock on the chamber door.

“Four bells, Sir Anthony!”

“Thank you,” she heard Tony croak as he stretched on the cot. The blanket moved, and the cold air made Harriet shiver.

“Damn it to hell, but it’s cold!” Tony cursed. He turned to Harriet. “You had better get up, too. We can have some tea before I leave.”

He spoke without bitterness, even giving her a wry smile.

“I never thought I’d sleep that well,” he conceded.

“Thank you for listening to me, Tony,” Harriet answered with feeling. “I’ll get dressed and be out of your way. Are you sure that you don’t want to eat?”

It was an innocent question, but Tony’s answer made her gasp.

“It’s better I don’t eat. A stab wound to the stomach or the intestines might be aggravated by food in the digestive tract,” Tony answered, quite matter-of-factly. He saw her horrified look. “It’s how it is, Harriet. I cannot pretend the duel won’t happen. Let me say one thing, however: I feel better and more confident after our talk. It would have been much harder going into this without our issues clarified.”

They were silent whilst they dressed, but once she finished, Harriet had a question.

“How will I learn about the outcome?”

Tony sighed. “I shan’t return to Cavendish Square. You have to understand that. I’ll return to the Asia if I can. If not, it is a moot question anyway. I shall send you letters once we arrive at the Dublin station.”

“Send them to High Matcham. That’s where I’ll wait for you,” Harriet answered dejectedly. Then she looked up imploringly. “Can I wait for you here, in your cabin? I’ll leave then, but let me see you return.”

Suddenly, her chin was in his hand. Very briefly, but not without feeling, he kissed her. He let go of her immediately and opened the door. He turned to her.

“Stay if you want.”

Tea was waiting for them outside, steaming in the cold morning air. It was sweetened with sugar, and they both drank thirstily. Tony had another cup, even, before it was time for him to go on deck. Harriet stayed behind and settled for the worst hours of her life.

The captain’s steward, Giles, came in after a few minutes and asked whether she wanted more tea, and Harriet accepted with a grateful smile.

“Milady,” Giles said earnestly, “the Captain will be right fine. Ne’er worry ‘bout him.”

Harriet just nodded. The tea came and she was taking small sips at intervals, to kill time. There was nothing she could do, unless ... There was Tony’s desk, with sheaves of paper, a fine quill and an inkwell. With determination, she sat down and began to write.

She folded the sheaves of paper and sealed them shut. She found a paper envelope and wrote the address, Sir Anthony Carter, KCB, Captain R.N.

She placed the envelope with the letter in the centre of the desk and looked at the window. It was daylight, and with a shiver, Harriet realised that the duel must have begun already. In all likelihood, it was already decided, and she might be a widow.

The rope walk was still sleeping when they crossed it and Tony felt a short wave of apprehension when he saw the small green. He saw a coach waiting at the curb, and he saw Selkirk and his party waiting in the centre of the grass patch. At the perimeter of the free space, he could see several onlookers, his father in law among them. It was a nice gesture, Tony thought. He felt calmer than the day before, as some of his anger and disappointment at Harriet had abated. He could not doubt her remorse over her folly. Perhaps, they would have a reconciliation, even if his resentment of her was still too strong.

Dougherty and Galbraith had met Selkirk’s seconds, and they returned.

“We had better get started before you get even colder, Sir Anthony,” Dougherty suggested. “Are you finished with your preparations, Doctor Wilkes?”

Jonathan Wilkes nodded solemnly. He had unpacked his bundle of instruments, and his surgeon’s mate stood ready, too.

Tony opened the tie of his wool cloak, and John Little took it off. Tony was wearing a warm vest under his coat, to keep his torso warm. He took off his uniform coat, too, to better his freedom of movement. Selkirk did the same, and the two men faced off.

“Is there a chance for you gentlemen to settle this affair without bloodshed?” Colonel Dunlop asked.

Selkirk and Tony both shook their heads.

“You are both to fight with your swords until one combatant is unable to continue. A fallen opponent must be allowed to rise to his feet before the fight resumes. The fight will proceed in accordance with the Rules of Engagement set forth in the charter of the...”

“One moment, Colonel Dunlop, Sir!” Dougherty interrupted firmly. “When we discussed the conditions, no mention was made of club rules. I must protest your mentioning of any such rules.”

“My dear Lieutenant, I assumed that was understood!” Dunlop expostulated, his face red.

“Nevertheless, no rules of any kind were part of the agreement we reached,” Dougherty replied firmly. “My client is not bound by such rules and he and your client may engage in this fight without restrictions.”

“This is highly irregular!” Dunlop postured. “How can any gentleman even...”

Selkirk put a hand on his second’s arm.

“Please, my dear Colonel, we have no need for a second duel. Even if no club rules apply, I trust the Captain entirely to adhere to the code of gentlemanly conduct.”

Dunlop swallowed and nodded reluctantly.

“Hrhm, well, I must ask you gentlemen to cross your blades.”

For the first time, Tony looked into Selkirk’s eyes. The man was calm and confident, yet fully concentrated. With a wilful effort, Tony cleared his mind of anything else and focussed his attention on Selkirk. He raised his own sword until the tip touched Selkirk’s. Dunlop parted the blades with his own, and Tony side-stepped to the right immediately. Not too soon, either, for Selkirk attacked immediately. The thrust missed its mark, but Selkirk was back in a defensive stance before Tony could mount a counter attack.

For the next minutes, the two men circled each other, searching for openings. Tony, being aware of his Selkirk’s reputation, was leery to press his attacks. Like Selkirk, he tried to get a feel for his opponent. When he feinted for Selkirk’s head, he barely avoided the riposte; in fact, Selkirk’s sword tip cut a small triangle from Tony’s shirt sleeve. When he tried the next time, Selkirk’s aim was better, and Tony felt the pain as the blade cut into his upper arm.

At once, Selkirk stepped back and the seconds approached to look at the wound.

“Barely a scratch,” Tony informed them with assumed stoicism.

Inside, he had to fight a short panic. Selkirk was better. Selkirk was quicker. With an effort, Tony mastered this momentary weakness.

This was better! Selkirk had lunged for Tony’s shoulder, and Tony followed his cross-parry with a quick swipe to his opponent’s chest. The excellent steel of his sword cut a gash in Selkirk’s chest.

Again, the seconds intervened, but Selkirk gave the same, curt dismissal. Tony could see how he set his jaw in grim concentration, though. Obviously, Selkirk had expected an easier task. They crossed their tips and resumed their grim play.

Now, both combatants were cautious, and the focus of the fight shifted towards a solid defence. After what seemed an eternity, Tony scored his next hit. His blade, though deflected by Selkirk’s parry, sunk deeply into the older man’s left upper arm. This necessitated a longer break, for Dr. Wilkes to still the blood flow. Nevertheless, Selkirk would not declare himself vanquished.

It was stupid of him, but Tony pressed his advantage now. He was tiring, and he wanted to end it. Another hit would bring that about, and Tony was so focussed on his attack that Selkirk’s lightning quick stab caught him by surprise. The pain set in immediately, and Tony stared down at his midsection. Selkirk’s sword had cut into his waist, barely above the left hipbone.

This time, the wound had gone unnoticed by the seconds. Tony realised that the blood flow from his second wound would weaken him, and he mounted a counter-attack. Selkirk had expected the seconds to intervene, and his concentration was broken for a split second. This was enough for Tony. His heavier blade forced Selkirk’s parry aside, and his next thrust went exactly where he aimed it — into Selkirk’s right shoulder.

It was the perfect hit for a non-lethal end to the fight. Tony stepped back immediately, for it was clear that Selkirk was unable to lift his sword arm. Now, as the seconds stepped between them, Selkirk had to accept defeat.

Tony’s wound hurt him fiercely, but he felt the need to put an end to the quarrel. While Selkirk was still attended by his seconds and by Jonathan Wilkes, he spoke to Dougherty.

“Offer Selkirk an apology over my wife’s ill-advised remarks! I want to end this.”

Dougherty approached Colonel Dunlop and they spoke in low voices. Then Dunlop spoke to his principal, and to his relief, Tony saw Selkirk nod. Dunlop spoke to Dougherty again, and finally, Dougherty relayed the decision.

“General Selkirk is willing to accept an apology.”

Tony stepped forward, his hip hurting him immensely now.

“Sir, I regret my wife’s ill-advised remarks and offer my apology.”

Selkirk nodded, grimacing a little, as the movement obviously caused him hurt.

“I accept your apology and declare myself satisfied.”

Then, to Tony’s surprise, Selkirk grinned.

“Damnit, I never thought you’d best me. That was some neat fencing, by God!”

“I agree with that. I would also stipulate that the outcome was mere chance. Either of us could have won. It was an even match.”

“You should have the Doctor look at your wound, Sir. He did what is possible for me, and I see that you are bleeding excessively.”

“Indeed, I should,” Tony answered, still trying to project stoicism. “Jonathan, I hate to trouble you, but this stab wound is beginning to cause some discomfort.”

Jonathan Wilkes looked at the wound and clucked his teeth.

“I would prefer to close this wound somewhere where you can lie down. It will take quite a few stitches and a drainage, too.”

“By all means, Doctor, see to your Captain’s needs now,” Selkirk spoke, though somewhat weakly. Obviously the high from the fight was wearing off, and the pain and fatigue were setting in.