Chapter 13

My heart raced as I stood in the waiting area of the crowded airport. My heart rate had quickened because I was afraid the shield I'd constructed wouldn't be effective against Nicole Halliday's intrusive mind.

I'd told Josh that what he did frightened me because he could make me do something I wouldn't otherwise do. My fear was real and compelling at the time, but in retrospect, and after a lot of self-analysis, I'd used my fear as an excuse to cancel my trip home. I'd told Josh the truth. I had changed. After leaving home, I came into my own. I became an adult, a woman, and Josh hadn't left the nest, he'd remained a teenager living at home, and I... well, I did something I promised him I wouldn't do. I left him behind. I felt guilty about it, but I reasoned that's the way it was.

Also, during our telephone conversations, Josh and I spent ninety percent of our time talking about him and his love life and how he should handle it, and I started to feel more like a big sister dispensing advice than a lover. He'd found a replacement for me, a sexy girl his own age. He was in love with her, and she loved him, so I convinced myself it was time for me to make the break with Josh that was inevitable sometime soon anyway.

Things were different between us after that day. We still talked, but it was evident that we weren't as close as before. More often than not, I made the call, not Josh, and we'd go days without talking.

Josh didn't tell me for quite a while that he'd broken up with his high school sweetheart the same day I told him that we shouldn't be lovers anymore, so I'd mistakenly believed he had her shoulder to cry on, so to speak. When he finally told me what happened, I realized how much I'd hurt him. I tried to tell him how sorry I was, but he brushed me off.

Then one day he said, "What happens, Sandy, if the folks discover how I feel about the church? You had money and your past lives to call upon. I have nothing."

"Josh, you know if you need help... money... anything, you can count on me."

"Uh-uh, then I'd be dependent on you instead of the parents. No, Sandy, what I need to do is become independent, not transfer my dependency."

"You're sixteen, Josh. There's no rush."

"I disagree. You were eighteen when your rift with the parents took place. Mine could come any day. So, here's my plan. I've spoken with a guidance counselor at my school. There's a way for me to test out of high school, and I'm going to take it. With a high school degree, I can start college, and Phoenix College offers online programs for degrees in business. The tuition is a little steep, but less than BYU, including room and board, and the other expenses that add up when attending college away from home, so I think I can talk the folks into springing for the tuition. This way, perhaps I can get in a year or two of college before the rift occurs. That's the educational part of my plan, except to say that I elected the online program because I can work at my own speed and accelerate my education, and at the same time, I can work on achieving financial independence. I've wracked my brain on the financial part of the plan, and in the end decided that I couldn't succeed on my own as quickly as I think I need to without some help. It's a function of capital, Sandy. And, that's where you come in.

"I considered a number of ways to make money and decided dealing in real estate is the way to go. Because of time constraints, I won't buy to hold, but rather to sell as quickly as possible, what folks in real estate call flipping a property. If the transactions are handled correctly, I won't use much capital, but I need the appearance of a lot of capital behind me. It's all smoke and mirrors, Sandy. I'll find a buyer, then find the property, buy the property, sell the property to my buyer, and hopefully the entire transaction will be handled at a double close, after which, I'll walk away with a good profit. If the buyer backs out for any reason, I'll need more capital, because I'll be required to complete the purchase, but then I'll put the property up for sale with a good real estate broker. In that instance, I probably wouldn't make a profit, but I wouldn't lose much either.

"The next problem I needed to consider was my age. I'm a minor, and as a minor, I can't do deals, but a corporation can do deals, and as a minor, I can own stock in a corporation. Problem solved.

"So here's the deal, Sandy. I developed an abbreviated business plan that outlines these issues and more. I have my first buyer staked out, and I located the property they want. It's put up or shut up time for me, but I need capital to pull it off. I'll e-mail the business plan to you today. Look it over, and I'll call you tomorrow morning."

I looked it over, and I had my lawyers and financial advisors look it over. They told me I'd be out of my mind to proceed. What my lawyers and advisors didn't know, I knew and couldn't tell them. I knew about Josh's secret weapon - his empathic talents. I ignored my advisors, became Josh's partner in a real estate investment company, and my kid brother proved my advisors wrong - in spades. In one year, Josh became financially independent and finished two years of college at the same time.

Meanwhile, I wrote, tore up what I wrote, and wrote some more, and finally finished my first historical novel. And I traveled, traveled until I became sick of living out of a suitcase. Josh matured, and I came to trust him and his empathic abilities. Well, almost. The control issue continued to bother me, but I would've taken the risk, journeyed to Scottsdale to visit my family, and perhaps renewed the love and sex that I'd cherished with Josh before I left. But, before I satisfied myself on the control issue, I found out he could use his intrusive attitude probes to dig into the memories of his victims.

Yes, I considered the unsuspecting recipients of his intrusive talents as victims, and to avoid becoming one of his victims, I kept my distance from him.

Why was I being so stubborn? Plain and simple, I didn't want him to see what his girlfriend might see if my shield didn't work when she stepped into my presence from the secured area of the airport.

During two of my past lives, I'd killed a man, and not as a soldier. Both instances involved domestic abuse. Still, I'd committed savage, premeditated murder, not once, but twice, and given the same circumstances in this, or a future life, I'd repeat the brutal acts. I'd used a knife in one instance, and a sword in the other. In the former, I'd been a wife in an arranged marriage, and I'd stabbed the vile creature I was forced to marry, stabbed him so many times, I lost count, and then I'd cut off his puny cock and stuffed it in his mouth. The sadist had raped my young son. In the other case, I was a boy, and I committed patricide. My father took turns beating my mother, my sister and me, and he raped my younger sister repeatedly. I decapitated the fucker with his own sword. As if possessed, I'd gone berserk during both bloody incidents, wielding the blades over and over again, slicing, stabbing... dismembering... beheading. I shuddered with trepidation just thinking how frenzied, brutal and savage I'd become. Surprisingly, the authorities at the time didn't suspect me, or didn't consider me capable of committing the crimes, or just plain didn't care, so except for horrible, repetitious nightmares during those lives and the lives immediately following, I wasn't punished for what I'd done.

I could probably tell Josh and Nicole about the incidents, but letting them actually experience the crimes that were so graphically stored in my memories was another matter entirely.

Another issue created an approach/avoidance situation between Josh and me. I loved him, but I'd changed. I'd flown from the nest, become an adult responsible for myself, and I wanted lovers like me, not a high school student still living at home. So, I spread my wings and took some lovers. Were they better than Josh? No. Why? I asked myself, but I knew the answer. They didn't love me, not like Josh loved me. More importantly, I didn't love them. I didn't despair, though. My man of the world was out there. I just needed to find him, or he needed to find me.

Then almost overnight, Josh wasn't a high school student anymore. What's more, he'd become financially independent. In a year and a half, he'd achieved what most men don't achieve in a lifetime. While talking with him most days, sharing his successes, commiserating with him about set backs, and discussing issues about his phenomenal empathic talents, I fell in love with him all over again. Josh had become a man, an adult like me, and I wanted to be with him again.

I'd almost decided to risk moving in range of his intrusive mind, when all of a sudden he falls in love again, but not with me, with a woman who apparently was as unique as he. I felt... betrayed. Finally, I understood how he must have felt when I abandoned him.

But Josh didn't do to me what I did to him. He didn't leave me behind. Even after meeting and falling in love with a woman with paranormal talents as unique as his, he still loved and wanted me. Nevertheless, Josh and I had trust issues to deal with. I'd betrayed him, and betrayal destroys trust. What he didn't know was that I felt betrayed, too - twice. The first time happened almost immediately after I left Phoenix when he'd had sex with his high-school sweetheart that same night. I hadn't expected sexual fidelity from him during my absence, but in only a few hours, not days or weeks, Josh had taken another lover. I pretended to be happy for him, but deep down I felt betrayed. And as the days progressed, other than sisterly advice, I started to believe he didn't need me anymore. The second time happened when, without warning, he announced he was in love, and the woman he loved was as paranormally talented as he. I congratulated him, but his announcement hurt me deeply. I was close to gathering enough courage to ignore my fears so we could be together again. After finishing the editing task on my novel, I'd planned to surprise Josh by flying to Phoenix to spend some time alone with him before visiting Mom and Dad. I was days away from telling him when out of the blue he declared he was in love with a beautiful woman he'd known for only two days. So, Josh and I had trust issues to deal with. However, if we could be with each other again, I felt confident that we could put those issues behind us.

Josh saw Nicole's shield as the solution. I wasn't convinced. When he suggested that I meet her to test the shield theory with her, rather than him, I agreed, but for a number of reasons. Josh loved her. Josh had money. Nicole didn't. Was she a gold digger? Did she really love him? Also, their love affair had been a whirlwind. Two days after meeting, they were talking about a June wedding, for goodness sake. Even with their intimate mind probes, two days stretches credulity to the extreme. Had Nicole cast a spell on him? Given him a need he couldn't resist, like I'd once feared Josh would do to me?

I needed answers to these questions and more. I'd hurt Josh deeply. His high school sweetheart hurt him almost as much. I didn't want to see Josh hurt again.

I saw Nicole Halliday striding toward me. I recognized her from her description, which certainly hadn't done her justice. She's gorgeous! I thought. And, she carries herself like a top model, saucy and sexy. My, oh my, my baby brother knows how to pick 'em.

I waved and shouted her name. She saw me, flashed a wide smile and hurried toward me. Would my shield work? If it didn't, would Nicole be honest with me?

Our meeting got off to a bad start. She was toting a carryon and an oversized purse, so our hug was awkward, and then she laughed.

"What?" I said, full of fear.

"That's a great shield, but..." She chuckled. "Good gracious, Sandy, you created a helmet!"

"So? That's what soldiers wear to protect their heads. I thought..."

"I can get to your mind through your eyes, your face. Heck, my scanning tendril could probably sneak up under the helmet."

Nicole must've seen how terrified I'd suddenly become, because she said, "Calm down. I won't scan your mind until you build another shield. Try this. First, get rid of the helmet. Then imagine a mirrored ball around your entire head, one you can see through, and then close the ball around your neck." She paused. "Are you finished?"

"I think so; I hope so."

"Uh-uh. Josh made the same mistake when building his first shield. Make it stronger. Imagine using titanium or another strong material to build your shield." She paused again. "Are you ready? Should I try scanning you again?"

"Yes."

"By golly, now that's a good shield. I sent a good-sized probe at your mind, and your shield held. Okay, you're safe from my prying telepathy, now."

Did I relax? A little, but I didn't trust her. Why should I? I didn't know her.

"Josh sends his love," Nicole said, and then shook her head and looked disgusted. "And this trip was a waste of time. You're shielded, but you don't believe me, and no, I'm not reading your mind. I can see the fear and distrust you're feeling in your eyes. Sandy, either you trust me, or you don't. If you don't, I'll catch the next flight back to Phoenix because I know of nothing I can do or say to convince you I can't read your thoughts through the shield you just created."

I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing.

"Which is it?" she asked. "Should we proceed and try to establish some trust between us so you can have a joyful reunion with your fantastic brother, or should I change flights and return to Phoenix? It's your choice, but know this. Right now, Josh believes you won't get close to him because he might gain some control over you. If this experiment fails, he'll stop accepting that excuse, whether it's real or not, and he'll believe you just plain don't care about him anymore. What's more, I'll encourage that assumption because, if you don't make the attempt, Sandy, you don't deserve his love."

When I didn't respond, she said, "Now, dammit! Decide. Should I stay or leave?"

Yup, little brother, you can pick 'em, I thought with admiration, and then said, "Stay."

She grinned ear to ear. "Great! Let's go pick up my luggage."

I watched Nicole as her gorgeous, dark eyes darted around the suite I'd arranged for her in the Rihga Royal, listed as one of Travel & Leisure Magazine's 500 Greatest Hotels in the World in 2003. Josh's girlfriend had described herself accurately. She was a country bumpkin. But, oh the potential!

"It's wonderful, Sandy! I didn't know hotel rooms could be like this."

"I told you. The only way to travel is first class. I chose this hotel because it's close to where I work and live, and its midtown location puts you only steps from New York City's premier business and shopping districts, Central Park, Carnegie Hall, and the theater district, but don't go out exploring by yourself. New York is a wonderful town, as the song says, but it can be dangerous."