Chapter 9

"You've made a rush to judgment, Josh," Sandy said when we talked the next morning.

I'd just described the events of the previous afternoon.

"Explain," I said.

"You introduced Pearl to some complex issues, which she accepted, one of them being that she could have sex with other girls."

"As long as she didn't sneak around or lie about it."

"True, but some elements of her previous beliefs have to be lingering, getting in the way of completely accepting our approach to life and sex. You gave her the green light to have sex with girls, something she wanted, so that's precisely what she did. But afterwards she felt guilty. Her guilt is the key, Josh. Guilt points to the lingering doubts I mentioned. She doesn't truly believe you'll accept her bisexual behavior, so she can't bring herself to tell you about it."

"Are you sayin' I should just brush off her deceit as if I didn't know about it and go on as before?"

"Good gracious no!"

"Good, because I can't ignore what happened. I feel betrayed, Sandy."

"I understand. I'm merely saying that you should give her some time before you condemn her. Besides, if I were she, I wouldn't tell you over the phone. I'd want you in front of me so I could observe your reaction. Believe it or not, I worried about telling you about Greg over the telephone, but I had no choice. Pearl does."

"Makes sense. I wish I could've talked with you yesterday. You could have saved me a lot of mental anguish."

"Another thought comes to mind. She might put off telling you until after she shares one of the girls with you, in other words, she'll show rather than tell. You mentioned that your example of a threesome with one of her lovers appealed to her."

"Yeah, it excited her, too. A lot."

Sandy chuckled. "That's not surprising. It's an arousing fantasy. Josh, from what you've said and how you've handled your discussions regarding these issues with Pearl, it sounds to me that you planned to invite her to join you and me in a threesome during my visit. Don't."

"Oh, why not?"

"Time constraints, mostly. I arrive in Phoenix in ten days. That's not much time for you to resolve everything with Pearl. Besides the sexual fidelity issue, you still have the unlimited-love discussion to handle and resolve. Frankly, I don't recommend telling Pearl about you and me until all your doubts have been eliminated. Remember, I'm not just your lover; I'm your sister."

"Argh! You're right, as usual."

"Too bad, too. I'm getting a real yen for some lovin' from a girl, and your Pearl sounded like the perfect way to satisfy my cravings."

"Surely Corfu offers some attractive women who could scratch your itch."

She laughed nervously. "Maybe one, a voluptuous, pretty woman named Agnes. I call her Nessie. She seems to like my nickname. She's a travel agent. I met her when I booked my flight home. I'm not sure she likes girls, but we're having lunch together tomorrow, so I'll know soon, one way or the other."

"Voluptuous, huh?"

"Yeah, she reminds me of a young Sophia Loren."

"Whew! Go for it, Sandy."

She chuckled. "Sexist! You get jealous when you find out I've been with a man, but tell me to go for it with a woman."

"Hah! I know you. You're bisexual but prefer men, so a woman isn't a threat to me. Besides, I'm not jealous about the man anymore. By the way, I think Pearl prefers girls to guys."

"Which threatens you."

I considered her statement. "A little, I admit, but she loves me, so the threat doesn't have teeth. I'll know more how it is between Pearl and me this afternoon. We're going for a drive."

"What will you do if she doesn't bring up her tryst, as you called it, with her girlfriends?"

"I could force her to tell me, but..."

"Oh, how?"

"I can implant the need to tell me with my empathic abilities. Remember, I can send as well as receive now."

"Josh, that's scary! Could you force me to do something against my will, as well?"

"Yes, but I'd never even make the attempt. You didn't let me finish my statement. I planned to say that I'd never manipulate Pearl or anyone like that, unless in self-defense or to protect a loved one."

"Absolute power corrupts absolutely," Sandy whispered.

"Yeah, we talked about that issue early on. Remember, I asked you to help me make sure I used my empathic powers appropriately."

"Yes, we did talk... Josh, you're frightening me."

I was stunned! Her statement, her tone of voice suddenly terrified me. Sandy wasn't the type who could love someone who frightened her.

"Why?" I demanded angrily. "Why are you just now dealing with the ramifications of my new abilities? I've told you about them as they developed. I told you I mentally pushed the guy off his feet who stabbed me, sent him flying through the air when I projected my pain into his body. Why do you think I disconnected with Pearl before I had my discussion with her about sexual fidelity? I didn't want to influence her in any way, that's why." I sighed. "That I frighten you frightens me, Sandy."

The silence grew between us.

"Talk to me, Sandy."

"Josh, I... I need time to think. I..."

Tears welled in my eyes. "Don't do this to me, Sandy. I need you; I need you in so many ways. You're the only person who knows about me, about what I can do, the only one I can talk to about everything. I love you."

When she didn't respond, I said, "Are you so afraid of me you don't want to be in range of my empathic ability? Are you considering changing your plans to fly home in ten days?"

"Now you're being mean, Josh. I told you I needed time to think, that's all. Enjoy your drive with Pearl."

Dial tone.

Like hell!

Sandy didn't answer my call, and her voice mail kicked in.

"Call me," I said. I wanted to say more, but I figured I'd already fucked up enough for one day.

I was in no mood for a drive with Pearl. I called and cancelled the date, telling her I wasn't feeling well.

When the satellite cell phone rang in the middle of the night, I wasn't asleep.

"Did I wake you?" Sandy asked. "I can call back..."

"No, I was awake."

"What happened during your drive with Pearl?"

"I cancelled it."

"Oh."

"Does what I do still frighten you?"

"Yes, but... Josh, the fact that you can force me to..."

"I'm stronger than you, I could force you to do a lot of things without using my empathic abilities, but I don't."

"True, but I'd know force was involved. If you planted a need in me to do something, I wouldn't know it."

"You cancelled your trip, didn't you?"

"Yes. I thought and thought about us, Josh, and we just don't work, not anymore, not like we did before I left home. Since then, I've... I don't know, I've grown, I guess. I've located an exceptional artifact..."

My heart felt like it had suddenly turned into stone.

"Shall I tell Mother or will you call her."

"I'll tell her. I'll be flying to New Zealand day after tomorrow. We can still talk, Josh, every day, if you want."

"I love you, and I'll always love you, but you disappoint me, Sandy, and when you think back on this conversation, you'll be disappointed in yourself. I won't call you. I'll keep the phone, and you can call me, especially if you get in a jam. If you need me, wherever you are, I'll come to you and help you in any way I can." I laughed bitterly. "Heck, with my empathic powers, I might even make a difference. Have a good life, Sandy."

I did the hardest thing I ever had to do. I pressed the end button on the cell phone.

She didn't call me back.

Pearl picked me up for school, and we were alone and face-to-face for the first time since I'd followed her in Sandy's SUV. When I slid into the passenger seat, she leaned over and gave me a quick kiss.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yup." I wasn't. I was in mourning. I'd just lost the love of my life. "How about you? How are you feelin'?"

I knew how she was feeling. She was nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I checked her attitude. She was having another self-debate about whether to tell me about what happened on Saturday or let well enough alone. I could have altered her attitude by increasing her need to tell all, but I'd been honest with Sandy. I wouldn't manipulate Pearl or anyone to that extent.

My cell phone rang - the satellite phone.

Unlike Sandy yesterday, I answered her call.

"You hung up on me," Sandy said.

"Tit for tat," I said brightly.

"Can you talk?"

"No, I'm on the way to school. Pearl picked me up."

"You were right. I am disappointed in myself. Call me when you have a minute alone."

"All right."

"Who was that?" Pearl asked after I hung up.

"My sister. She wants me to call her back between classes."

"Oh. Where is she? Is she still in Corfu?"

"Yes."

Pearl's attitude change tickled me. She relived the passionate kiss Sandy had given me at the airport.

"You and Sandy are very close, aren't you?"

"We were. I'm not so sure anymore."

"Oh, have you had a fight?"