Chapter 20

It was late Saturday morning and Glen was just returning from the pool. Since his third day in Melton, he had worked out hard at the pool every day. The administration was so grateful to him for helping them out that they allowed him to swim off-hours when the pool was unused, and he took full advantage of it. The phone calls home had been so stressful that he headed for the pool immediately after each one.

Taking a time of separation from Julie had been the right thing to do. He ached to hold Libby and play with her, but he would just have to endure it. He ached to hold and make love to Julie. The love was still there, as strong as ever. The... thing... the barrier... that had grown up between them was as puzzling as it was agonizing. Oh, he knew she was upset about having to move, and he knew she was unhappy about having to live on a teacher's salary. He himself was almost as upset about the move and he felt guilty about not having better prospects for providing for her and their children.

Their children. That brought up the question of whether there would be any more children. Would there even be a Julie and Glen? Acknowledging the possibility of breaking up had been traumatic, but after a week away, he had to admit to himself that they were headed that way. They were definitely heading toward the point where being together caused more anger, tension, and unhappiness than comfort, affection, and security.

He most definitely did not want a breakup. Like his parents, lifelong commitment was in his nature. On the other hand, he did not know how he could go on living with the way things were between them. How had they gotten to this point? How could they fix it? Did Julie harbor deep-seated anger at him for getting her pregnant?

As usual, that Saturday morning, he wore just his Speedos with a sweatsuit over when he went to the pool. After his swim and a shower, he came home in just the sweatsuit. He was standing and thinking in the kitchenette area of his little studio apartment when there was a knock on the door. Almost absent-mindedly he opened it to be totally surprised by Theresa standing there. Her expression made him think that she was working very hard not to have any expression.

"T... T... Theresa! What?... Why?... C... come in."

"Thank you, Glen," Was all she said.

"Sorry about the way I'm dressed," he told her. "I just got back from a workout. Let me go and change."

"No," she said rather forcefully, then held out a letter. "This is from Julie. Please read it right now. I have to use your bathroom."

Glen's hand shook as he reached out to take the letter. All he could think of was a 'Dear John'. Why had Theresa delivered it? He really could not even focus on that question, he was so shook up.

Theresa and Betty had both stayed with Julie at her request and helped her compose the letter. It was hand-written:

Dearest Glen,

I love you with all my heart and I always will. That may be hard to believe after you learn what I did, but it is the truth.

What I did, I did because I love you so desperately. I hope you can find it in your heart to read all of this.

Glen, Darling, I got pregnant on purpose!

I know what a terrible thing I did. That I killed your dream of swimming has haunted me every night since. Even worse, all of this time I've let you think my pregnancy was your fault. I don't know how I could have been so cruel.

I got pregnant because it was the only way I could think of to keep from being separated from you. At the time, I was so mixed up I thought I would lose you if we were separated. Then, after I got pregnant, I was afraid I would lose you if you found out how. I know it was cowardly, but that is why I have kept it secret all this time.

Now, I am deathly afraid I will lose you anyway, and it is all my fault. I have been concerned about things that should not be important. All that really matters is our love and Libby.

I hope with all my heart that you can find a way to forgive and that we can get back to where we once were. If you cannot, my life will be ruined, but I will not be able to blame you. Whatever happens, I could not keep this terrible secret any longer.

All my love forever,

Julie

Glen read the letter a second time, then closed his tear-filled eyes and laid his head back on the top of the couch. For many minutes he sat there motionless, barely able to isolate a coherent thought from the jumble that raced through his mind.

When at last he took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and sat up, Glen received another shock. Theresa was kneeling on the floor right in front of him, naked. He just stared at her, unable to speak, so she broke the ice.

"Glen, Honey, I am the one most responsible for what Julie did. I need to do everything I can to salvage my daughter's happiness."

"You... you should put your clothes on. This isn't right."

"Nothing about what happened is right, Glen. I... I need to be naked. It has become symbolic to me. It's a way to let you know that I am being as open and honest as I can. It's a way to demonstrate that this is a whole different person than the woman who did those terrible things. It's a way to show you how much shame I feel for what I have done. I don't deserve any dignity at all."

"Theresa, you have a dignity that being naked can't change. I feel... I feel... dirty looking at you like this."

"I'm the one that feels dirty, Glen," she insisted. "Before you make any decisions about Julie's letter, I need to tell you what happened the day before she blew up at you. It will help explain why I feel such shame. I am fighting for my daughter and I don't apologize for that. I hope you will have a better understanding of why she trapped you after you hear this."

Theresa spent almost an hour on a detailed account of the fateful episode in the kitchen, that night, and the next morning. She purposely gave a very explicit version, reciting exact words that were said, describing positions and gestures in detail. She recounted the events after the blow-up as she remembered them.

Glen had known that something terrible happened after he dropped Julie at home that Saturday, but she had never told him anything specific. He could hardly believe what Theresa was saying, spending most of the time with his mouth hanging open in shock.

All the time she talked, Theresa stayed on her knees, upright in front of him. When she finished, she sagged back onto her heels and swayed slightly. Reluctant to touch her, Glen reached out for her hand and pulled her to the sofa beside himself.

"Thank you," she said softly. Then she moved over close to him, put her arm through his, and rested her head on his shoulder. He stiffened and tried to lean away from her, glad that his sweatsuit had long sleeves to keep her bare breast from touching his skin. He was amazed and more than a little upset by her behavior.

"Please, Glen, don't think I'm being slutty or anything like that. It's important for you to know how I feel about you. I love you, Glen. From what I did to you, that must be hard to believe. But seeing you with Julie, I know you are the right man to be her husband. And the right man to be my son-in-law. I am begging you not to change that."

He was able to relax, and they just sat there in silence. She did not try to become any more intimate, and he did not try to disengage for several minutes. When he once again gave a deep sigh, she took his hand and entwined their fingers, just as lovers might do. By this time, he was starting to sense what she meant and why she was acting as she was.

"Glen, do you think I am the same person I was back on that Saturday in the kitchen," she asked.

"You know," he answered softly, "you really don't even look the same. You're not the same person at all."

"Would I do any of those terrible things again?" she asked.

"Never," was his answer.

"Is Julie the same person she was that day?"

"Ohhh. I see what you're getting at. But Theresa, she destroyed my dream."

"Who destroyed it? The Julie of that day, or the one who cries her eyes out for you after every phone call?"

"She does? I... I have to work it off in the pool," he mused.

"See. You know you're supposed to be together. I've got to warn you, Glen, I'm going to make my case for you two getting back together every chance I get. I'm not even going to apologize for it. Who destroyed your dream, Glen? Which Julie? Is it right to punish the Julie waiting at home with Libby?" He was unable to answer.

Having said that, Theresa got up and went to the front door. Opening it cautiously and peeking out, she reached outside and brought in first a cooler, then a grocery bag, then a small cosmetics case. She was shivering visibly when she closed the door. Glen overcame enough of his surprise to take the cooler and the bag to the kitchen counter while she took the case to the bathroom.

There followed one of the weirdest days of Glen's life. Theresa fixed lunch, and they ate and chatted. Still naked, she noticed Glen forcing his eyes up from her nipples, and told him "You don't have to pretend you're not peeking. God, you'd better be! And for the last time, no! I'm not putting clothes on until I leave. Glen, this is important to me. I have to do it this way."

Perhaps it was part of Theresa's plan, but Glen was constantly reminded of Julie as he watched her mother throughout the afternoon. Even many of her gestures and expressions were the same, not to mention her legs, her hips, her breasts, and... Hopefully, she hadn't seen the blush or the movement in the front of his sweats. How could he be getting aroused? Over his mother-in-law! On a day when his life had fallen apart even more.

What was definitely Theresa's plan was to keep him from thinking about Julie's confession and what he was going to do about it. As relaxed as she seemed, she was constantly watching him for signs that he was pondering his options. She would quickly begin talking to him or move around in a way that would draw his attention to her naked body. After Gina's birth, she had been fanatical about getting back in shape, and thought she looked better than before she got pregnant. She had done it for Roland, but if it helped her current mission, so much the better.

Right after reading Julie's letter was the time he was most likely to make an angry, rash decision. Then, and in the nights immediately following. Glen did not yet know it, but she planned to spend Saturday and Sunday nights naked in his bed with him. They would not have sex, but she hoped it would keep him from stewing over Julie all night long.

Theresa had not lied to Glen about her reasons for being naked. What she had said was completely true. It was just that there were two other very good reasons. Distraction from a hurried decision was one. The other reason played on her resemblance to her daughter. She hoped to evoke constant images of Julie, both present and future, leaving him convinced that he wanted her with him.

Around mid-afternoon, Glen told Theresa "You know, it's getting dark pretty early. If you don't leave soon, you won't even get to the freeway before dark.

"Oh, didn't I tell you? I'm not leaving until you go to school Monday morning."

After the events of the day, there should have been nothing that could surprise Glen. Wrong. "But... but... this place. The couch is too small to sleep on, and..."

"You mean you're not willing to share your bed with your mother-in-law for a couple of nights?" she asked, barely able to restrain a laugh. "I didn't think I was that disgusting."

Realizing he was losing badly in the teasing game, Glen had a flash of boldness. She was standing near him when she said that, and he gave her a playful swat on the bottom and said "You're the last person who has to go fishing for compliments." He only thought he had won a point because she grabbed his face in both hands and kissed him quickly but firmly on the lips. Then, she scampered giggling toward the bathroom. His heart almost stopped when she did that because she looked so much like Julie. Her bare ass cheeks did the same sexy little bounce and... He had to turn away to shield the bulge in his sweatpants.

When Theresa came out of the bathroom a little later, Glen was serious as he said "Theresa, are you sure sleeping in my bed isn't carrying things too far? What would Roland think?"

"Sweetie, it's not like we're going to have sex. It will just be... comfortable. Two people who care for each other sharing a small apartment for a couple of nights." She paused to read his expression, then said "But I have to tell you, Glen: if having sex with you was a requirement for you getting back together with Julie, I would do it in a heartbeat."

That made him gasp. "But Roland would never stand for that."

"No, he wouldn't. I would lose him." She looked him straight in the eye, seeing that he caught the full implication of what she had said. She would give up her happiness to buy her daughter's. This time, he duplicated her move from earlier, grabbing her face and kissing her briefly but hard. Then, he turned away to hide the tears - unsuccessfully.

As he sat and watched her fix supper, he joked "I think the real reason you're naked is to try to distract me."

Turning to face him, she said, "I didn't lie about my reasons, but that is another one - a very good one." At his look of surprise, she asked "Are you surprised I would do that?"

"I'm surprised you would admit it," he told her.

"I'll admit anything, Honey." Spreading her arms she continued "This is not a very good way to be secretive, is it?"

"So you're sleeping with me for the same reason?"

"Tell me, Glen: if you were alone tonight what would happen?"

"I'd probably toss all night, thinking about what Julie did."

"And what else?"

He hesitated for a moment, then his shoulders sagged and he spoke softly. "I would probably get angry and plan all kinds of revenge." He was not able to look up at her when he finished.

He was sitting on a bar stool at the counter that was the kitchen eating area. She came up to the other side, put her elbows on the counter with her shin resting on her hands. The formica was cold on her breasts as they rested on it, but she thought she was giving him a provocative sight and did not flinch. "I warned you, I will do anything in my power to help my daughter keep her husband. If it takes distracting you, blowing you, or even fucking you, I will do it." She intended to shock him with her crude words, and saw that she had succeeded.

"Theresa, I would never... I don't like to hear you talk that way."

"I don't like it either, Glen. I just had to be sure you knew how serious I was. You cannot imagine how I feel seeing you and Julie in this trouble that I caused."

In an attempt to defuse the emotions a little, he told her "It wasn't just you, Theresa."

"But Vince would never do anything about it. He wouldn't think he was responsible. I'm the one that has to try to fix it."

Dinner was quiet but nice. Afterward, they sat and watched TV. Theresa unashamedly snuggled close to him. At one point, she took his arm and put it around her. "Should I get a blanket, he asked?"

"Nope, this is much better."

"You're not hiding anything from me, just making me figure it out, aren't you," he asked suddenly.

"Oh? Why do you say that?"

"You're doing everything you can to remind me of Julie, aren't you?"

"Is it working?" In answer, he made the exceptionally bold move of tickling her under the arm, accidentally brushing the side of her breast as he did.

She swung around and got on her knees beside him, sitting back on her heels as she faced him. Her expression was serious. "I already told you I was trying to keep you from making any hurried, angry decisions about Julie. I'm also trying to keep her in front of your mind: what her body looks like. How it feels to have her sit beside you, sleep beside you, have some fun with you. When you come to making a decision, I want to be sure you remember what you'll be missing if you don't forgive her. There! Is that honest enough?" This time, he cupped her chin in one hand and looked her in the eye for a moment before giving her a brief kiss.

To lighten the mood before getting in bed, which she knew he was nervous about, she made a pretense of sniffing the sheets and pantomiming a bad smell. He surprised her by hauling out a new set, and they horsed around a little as they put on the clean ones.

Sunday morning, Glen had to work on some lesson plans that he had not gotten to Saturday. Theresa read a book she had brought, not wanting to bother him with the TV. The apartment was just one room, the bathroom being the only separated space. After he had been working a while, he looked over at her and thought how easy it was to be around her, even in that tiny space. Julie was like that, too.

At lunch, he asked her "Would it weaken your campaign too much if you got dressed and I should you around the town? You did have some clothes under that coat, didn't you?"

With a playful swat, she told him "Of course I did. Did you really think I'd drive up here in nothing but a coat?"

"At this point, nothing you would do would surprise me: if it was for your kids."

She caught her breath and stopped the potential tears at just a little moisture. Then she brightened and said "I'd love to see the town. Why don't we go a little later, and I'll buy you dinner."

At dinner in a moderate restaurant, she asked him "Can I say something without offending you?" At his nod she went on "I saw dress shirts, coats, and ties in your closet. Do you wear them to school?"

"Yeah, I knew I had a big challenge getting any credibility with the students. Mom and Dad thought dressing more formally might help, and they bought some stuff for me."

"Well, here's a problem Julie's been having that I don't think she would mention to you." She proceeded to describe the unfair comparisons he had been subjected to. He was very thoughtful and thanked her for the heads up.

Around eight o'clock, she could see that he was antsy, and had an inspiration. "Glen, don't you usually work out in the pool every day?"

"Yeah, but with you here..."

"Well, go! In fact, can I come along?"

"Do you have a suit?"

"Is there anyone in the school?"

"Nope, it's completely unstaffed from Sunday noon."

"Then I don't need a suit," she giggled. "I never got to skinny dip when I was a kid. My folks were too strict. This is my chance. I'll get the towels," she said as she bounced toward the bathroom. God, she was like Julie.

"Theresa! What if..."

"Oh, come on! You're not going to go all shy and conservative now, are you?" His only possible response was a shake of the head.

At the pool, she watched as he dropped his sweats at the edge of the pool. "Hey! How come I'm the only one skinny dipping?" she chided him upon seeing his Speedo. "Not that much is covered there. Hmmm. Maybe I should start going to swimming meets." This was punctuated with a laugh.

'Damn women', he thought, 'always getting the upper hand, putting the pressure on'. He had a panicked thought about a possible erection AFTER he impulsively stripped off his suit. Walking toward her, he said "One of the few things I've learned about women is that they tell each other everything, especially if it's anything to do with sex. I think this would be best kept a secret. In fact, there are some tank suits in the women's locker room. I'm going to get one so you can tell Julie that I did. Just leave out the fact that you never wore it, OK?"

"Why, Glen Voss! Julie and I must be rubbing off on you. That's wonderfully devious!" The way her breasts bounced as she laughed forced him quickly into the pool to retard and hide the swelling of his penis.

She spent a lot of the next hour just watching, in awe of the power in his strokes.

Monday morning, Glen was awakened at daybreak by Theresa's hand gently caressing his face. As he came to awareness, he felt her breasts pressed against his arm and his side. He started to shrink away, but she gentled him.

"It's okay. It's okay. I'm not going to attack you or try to make you be unfaithful in any way. They're just boobs, and they feel good against you."

"I heard that!" he responded, waking up rapidly. As he did, he became aware of his morning glory and twisted his hips reflexively away from her.

"Don't! I know it's there and I know why. Part of me would love to grab hold of it, but that would dishonor both of our partners. Just don't worry about it. Unless you snuck one in, you've had no relief for two days, so it's probably extra hard this morning, huh?"

"I woke you up early because there are some things I want to say before I go. First, you are a beautiful man, inside and out. I love you like a son, only in a different way. You can't believe how hard it was to come up here and be naked with you like this. Yet, I knew I had to do it, and I'm sure it was the right thing."

"I hope with all my heart that I have helped to save my daughter's marriage. After being here, I would feel even worse if she loses you. You and Roland are two of a kind: you're unique men. I want you for Julie so much it hurts."

"I've done everything I can to persuade you to take Julie back. I'm not going to ask you if it worked, but I pray that it has."

"Glen, we are going to see each other in the future. If you and Julie break up," and her voice caught at that point, "we'll still be connected through Terry and Ellie. See, our families are really all tangled together. Hopefully, you and Julie will be together again and I'll see you all the time."

"Whenever we see each other, I don't want you to be embarrassed because we've been like this. I want there to be a special love between us, and I want you to feel free to show it. Maybe I'm out of line, but I'm guessing that at some point you've been with both Betty and Ellie like this." She felt him about to respond and put a finger over his lips. "It's OK. I hope they've had that good fortune. If you could just treat me like you do your mother and your sister for the rest of my life, I could die happy."

Theresa leaned over and gave him another brief but firm kiss on the lips before getting out of bed. He watched as she moved gracefully toward the bathroom. On the day that Julie forced her mother and father to greet them naked, Theresa had been absolutely terrified for Glen to see her. Now, she walked almost regally away from him, sharing the beauty of her naked body without apparent concern. He considered it a gift.

In the two nights they had shared a bed, no touching had occurred that he would be afraid to relate to Julie, with the exception of the last few minutes. Their bodies had made contact during the night several times, but nothing at all of a sexual nature had transpired. It had been... comfortable... intimate... reassuring. And it had made him wish it was Julie.

Though it was still early, she fixed a nice breakfast, and he was not about to turn it down. As if sensing his need, she left before he took his shower, and he took the opportunity to relieve himself - twice.

He had thought he knew his mother-in-law, but he really had no idea. The depths, the passion, the courage of the woman blew him away. If that was what Julie was becoming, would he not be a fool to reject her?

But she had destroyed his dream! Because of her, there was no chance of international competition in the future. Coaching at the college level was probably an impossibility, as well. The major goals of his life were now out of reach, because of her.