Chapter 39: Her own guilt

That Friday afternoon, Lucy Parker didn't want to go home. Her best friend (and most recent lover) had just confessed that she had sex with Julie Parker, Lucy's daughter.

Lucy felt weird. Almost disgusted. Julie was, after all, her sweet lovely daughter.

Sure, Julie was bisexual, she knew it. And Julie had an active sex life. And Lucy had never minded that, because as far as she knew, Julie always had sex with people around her age. Sometimes, a little older, but never with someone who was old enough to be her mother!

Julie was bisexual; Julie had sex with whomever she wanted, but still... Lucy felt that her daughter had been used in some weird way.

Julie was much younger than Janet. Maybe Janet had seduced Julie. Maybe Julie didn't know what she was doing. Maybe she was too embarrassed to reject her mother's best friend.

Maybe Julie felt some obligation, as if she had to do it. Who knows?

Of course, Lucy had sex with George's kids, and that only made her feel worse.

Why weren't they fucking girls (or boys) their ages? Why were they fucking their parents, their uncle, their aunt? Were they used by their sick parents? Were they used by their sick uncle and aunt?

Did she, in any way, abuse them?

This was ridiculous, of course. After all, Lucy was, once, the fourteen-year old girl who had seduced an adult man, father of three. But that Friday afternoon, all she could think was: "They're kids!"

Ronnie, for instance, was only sixteen!

Again, she was already a mother of twins when she was sixteen, and she was already pregnant again. But somehow that kind of information just vanished from her brain. She was thinking: "Are they safe?"

She thought about going home. About confronting Julie, and asking her if she was certain that she had done the right thing, that time, months ago, with Janet.

But Lucy couldn't. There would be too much to confess.

And then, there was her own guilt to deal with.

So she got a cab and went to George's house. She had to ask. She had to talk. To one of her nephews. Preferably Ronnie.

She got at George's, and rang the bell.

A cute redhead opened the door. She said:

"Oh, you are... Brian's aunt, right?"

Lucy didn't know the boys' girlfriend very well, but she remembered this redhead. She didn't know her name, she didn't know which of the boys she was dating (Brian, apparently) but she wasn't a strange.

"Yes, Lucy."

"Hi, I'm Rachel. We met a couple of times."

"Yes. How are you?"

"Come in."

Lucy entered the house. And Rachel said:

"I guess you won't be shocked."

And then she opened the door to George's studio.

Fuck!

Yes, that's what they were doing! It!

Brian was fucking a blonde girl, while she sucked Mick. Keith was fucking a young brunette in the ass, while she lapped Claire's pussy!

Rachel asked:

"Would you like to join?"

Of course, she knew.

And that was the worst possible thing that could happen. All these hot kids, fucking and sucking... Lucy felt too disgusted to be aroused.

"No, no..."

And her nephews, Mick, Keith and Brian, started to greet her. She could only raise her hand and fake a smile. Claire and the girls greeted her. It was bizarre. And sick.

Then Bill appeared, from the kitchen, with a bottle of beer:

"Hi, aunt Lucy."

Well, at least Bill was almost dressed (he had a robe on).

"Oh, Bill. Uh... May we talk?"

"Sure. Come to my room."

They went to his bedroom. Lucy felt weird. She was nervous. She wasn't sure if she wanted to have this conversation.

What if she lost them?

Well, it would be for their sake!

But they seemed to have so much fun in George's studio...

No. She had to know.

They were alone. Rachel, apparently, had removed her clothes and joined the others. The door was closed. Lucy was sitting on the bed, and Bill was sitting on a chair, facing her.

And Lucy started:

"Bill... Do you... How do you... Feel about... All this?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know..."

With her head, she indicated the studio.

"My girlfriend having sex with Keith?"

"No. Well... Kind of. You know... Incest."

Bill put the bottle on his desk. He knew this was serious.

"Why?"

"I have to know how do you feel."

"Well, I love it."

He meant it. But he was nervous. He felt that his dear aunt Lucy was almost slipping away. And he didn't want that to happen. But he was so nervous that he didn't sound so convincing, so she repeated the question:

"How do you feel about it?"

"Look, aunt Lucy, incest is not something that I'm willing to give up. So far, it has been wonderful. I had so many great experiences, I learned so many great things..."

"How old were you when this started? How did you joined them? Why? How did you feel?"

Lucy was divided. Part of her wanted him to say that he felt he was forced and abused, another part wanted him to say that everything was okay.

Then she held his beer and drank a little. She really needed it.

He told her the truth. How he was 15, crazy about sex, masturbating every day, usually more than once, and how Brian came closer, closer, and suddenly the experiences began. It was natural, and he had no problems with it. It was an opportunity to try something that he had been fantasizing about (yes, even gay sex); in fact it was the opportunity that he had been dreaming about (although he didn't expect it happen with his brother). And the rest of his family, his other brothers (although Ronnie was not part of it, yet), his parents... It just got better and better. He felt like they were there. While he lost his virginity, they were there, giving their support, making everything much easier. And he still loves to do it.

Lucy drank a little more and asked:

"Did you ever feel you were used? Or abused?"

"No! In some ways, I guess I could almost feel that I was the one using them. After all, I was having sex!"

"Weren't you too young?"

"Look, aunt Lucy... I was not a little kid. That would be wrong, sure. But I was a horny teenager. I wanted to have sex. I had to have sex, I just couldn't see how. When it happened... I was ready, believe me!"

"But how do you feel about... Older people? Me?"

"About you?"

She drank the rest of the beer before saying:

"Yes."

"Oh, aunt Lucy... You were a dream coming true. You were my fantasy. I have no ideas how many times I... I masturbated thinking on you. I have always desired you! When I was a kid, I wanted to marry you. Later, I just wanted to fuck you, I... I mean, that night was very special to me. Again, I had to have sex with you, I just couldn't see how I could do it. When it happened... It blew my mind."

"Really?"

"Yes. I have the hots for you since I started to jerk off. You were my favorite fantasy. Even during sex, sometimes, I used to close my eyes and think about you for a moment. I still do it. Even with Val!"

Val was Valerie Tyler, his girlfriend.

"So... You wanted it? Are you sure?"

"Yes! I can't say it enough. I wanted your body... Aunt Lucy, you have a fantastic body! You can't blame me for fantasizing about it."

"Didn't you feel pressured to have sex with me? Like you had no choice?"

"No, no, I really desired you! I still do!"

Lucy was flattered. And surprised. She wasn't expecting that. But she couldn't stop thinking about little Bill Parker masturbating, thinking about her.