Chapter 6

After breakfast, Laura and David walked along Pequot Avenue to the shore, looking eastward at the rising sun. The road and the bicycle path along the beach were deserted. David offered Laura his hand, which she accepted with a warm smile. Laura returned to gazing at the ocean, sniffing and breathing deeply of the salt air.

"Ah, that was a really nice meal. It was kind of the restaurant to be open so early, we were the only customers... I think I'm going to remember the beauty of my stay here with you forever."

"I turned on the TV while you were in the shower, to catch the weather report. We really lucked out Laura. It should be close to freezing this afternoon, and well above freezing for the next several days. The famous New England January thaw! It's been so dry this last month, all the bike paths are clear of snow, and we have the whole island to ourselves! Perhaps tomorrow, we can bike down to Edgartown from here. It's only about 5 miles, hugging the shore line all the way. It's beautiful! And sometime we can drive to the southwest end of the island, you don't want to miss the hikes along Lighthouse Road. And the State Forest in the center of the island is very nice too..."

"I take it you've been here before!"

"Ha! Yes, my parents used to bring Maggie and me here on summer vacations sometime. This place is a real tourist trap then. So crowded, sad in a way. But now, it's empty. So serene! And almost as beautiful as you are."

"David, are you thinking of this as our honeymoon? Wait! That was unkind. I shouldn't joke like this."

"Oh no Laura. I'm hoping you and I are feeling the same emotions. I find myself thinking a lot about you, how pretty and wonderful you are. I find myself wondering how to tell you yes to your uncertainty last night; that I really do want to date you, without being clingy... I really, really don't want to do anything to drive you away from me. It's a little nervous fear mixed in with a huge desire to pursue and capture you!"

Laura said nothing for a while. Then she reached over and hugged David's waist and kissed his cheek. David noticed her eyes were moist with tears, but they were also brilliantly alive from the smile on her lips. "My heart is like this too, a whirlwind of hope and anticipation, mixing with a sharp fear not to do anything to blow my chances. And our current hotel living arrangement is not ideal for a courtship dance..."

"I know. I feel it too. We need time, time to come together and move apart, time to test our bonds, time to judge the movement from independence to interdependence... Laura, how about we pledge not to get too sexy with each other while we're here on the island. Learn how to care for each other first. I'm afraid of getting too sexy with you too fast... as something that might later drive you away. But I'm thrilled at the thought of being affectionate with you now!"

"Yes! Thank you! These are my feelings too. David, I feel the same struggle within me, between a desire to be honest and a desire not to be clingy and blow my chances. But my desire to be honest is winning out. I know my own heart, and I want to be indiscrete. I want to tell you that I love you."

The two stood by the ocean, side by side, leaning their heads together and watching the waves. After a short while, Laura smiled at David and pulled on his waist, beckoning him to follow her back to the hotel. "We have so much to work on. Thank you for being so patient with me... If you remember, earlier this month I called you from the Max- Planck Institute in Garching. The Germans had this really nifty cross-shredder in a store. It cuts in both the X and Y directions, producing little flakes of paper less than 1 mm square. Almost silent too... I have one in my suitcase... Let's remember never to leave any notes around that are not in our immediate possession..."

"Okay. Wow! My darling secret agent has returned! I can't wait to be briefed on our mission!"

A short time later they were sitting by their table in their suite, a large pile of blank notepads nearby. Laura looked at David, smiled and said, "Before we dive into the physics, let me ask you something. How did you get your idea for the chatterbox resonance? Could you lay out the steps you took from the current understanding of what's published in quantum interface physics, to your new idea?"

David thought for a long moment, the frown on his face deepening. He doodled on a notepad, drawing idle circles and arrows... "I'm a little embarrassed, but I guess I can't. The idea hit me all at once. I can't see how to make logical steps from the current models to chatterbox."

"Oh, don't apologize! It was like this for me too. Over the last year, I had become somewhat pessimistic in my thoughts, of how progress could be made from the current standards. They appear to offer only two possibilities for consciousness, and both seemed to have major problems. I was a little perplexed that so many others in the field didn't share my reservations... Your paper depressed me even further. Nowhere have I seen a clearer example of what I was worried about. I think this is why your paper isn't being referenced anywhere. It's correct within the formalism, but the resulting math is so stiff and ugly..."

Laura paused, and then continued. "But I was drawn to keep studying it. Your language had an optimism to it, never stating but always implying that there was a solution to all the ugliness. I think everyone else in the field just brushed off your optimism to undergrad enthusiasm. But your one sentence challenge piqued my curiosity and my competitive spirit. I stared at your paper for weeks... And then suddenly it hit me, how absolutely brilliant you are! I haven't been outgunned in physics since I passed my grandfather in knowledge, maybe when I was about 12 or 13. I quickly re-wrote your paper in whistler formalism. I was bursting with excitement. Before I had two lousy ways to approach consciousness, and now I had a dozen more, each with all the old problems eliminated!"