Chapter 3

I guess that's when it finally got through to me, I had lost her and there was nothing I could do about it. I had lost my taste for spying on Abby and decided it was time to start trying to get over her. On Monday morning I waited for Abby to leave for work and I went back into her house for the last time retrieve the cameras. I took the video tape out of the recorder and threw it in the trash and then packed the equipment into my car and that afternoon I returned it to Roger.

I stopped working at home and I kept myself extremely busy at the office to keep from thinking about the images I had seen of Abby having sex with Ben. I also decided to move, not and easy decision, so that I would not have to deal with the pain of seeing the man who replaced me in Abby's life coming and going from her apartment. I was sure he was going be around a lot more and I just couldn't stand knowing that he was next door fucking my wife. I began looking for an apartment in town closer to my office.

It took me two weeks to find a good apartment, which was just five blocks from my office. I moved out of the duplex on a Friday while Abby was at work to avoid seeing her. The last thing I did before I left the house was put a 'For Rent' sign in the window.

The following Monday Abby called me in my office. I was surprised to hear from her as we had not spoken for over a month.

Abby said, "Hello Mike, how are you."

I said, "I'm fine Abby, how are you."

"I'm good."

There was silence on the phone for several seconds.

I said, "I know you didn't call just to ask how I was so why did you call?"

"I saw the 'For Rent' sign in your window and just wondered what was going on."

I said, "I decided to get an apartment closer to my office. It is much more convenient for me. I am buried with work right now and I like that I don't have to drive more than an hour to get home after working late at the office."

Abby said, "I though you were doing a lot of your work from home."

I wondered how Abby would know I had been working at home. I never told her. I wondered what else she knew. Did she know why I was working from home? I hoped not. I never wanted her to know that I had been spying on her. Not just because it would anger her and humiliate me but it also be something she could use against me in divorce proceedings. I hoped that by moving that it didn't matter anymore. If she didn't know I was spying on her before she would never find out now.

I said, "That wasn't working out for me. I wasn't productive enough. I'm just able to get more done at the office."

"I guess nothing has changed then."

I wanted to yell over the phone, "What the fuck do you mean nothing has changed. I'm living alone and another man is fucking my wife. I think that's a pretty fucking big change don't you?" But rather than exacerbate the situation I said, "Was there something else you wanted to ask me?"

She said, "It's just that it was your idea that we both live in the duplex so I was surprised to see that you had moved out. I was also a little upset that you didn't bother to discuss it with me before you moved."

I said, "Listen, You chose to move on with your life without me. I just thought it was about time I moved on with mine. I really didn't think I needed to check with you before I moved out. After all you didn't check with me before you moved out."

"That's not fair. You know why I moved out."

"Yes I do and that is the part of my life I am putting behind me now."

"I don't know why I am talking to you at all, I am so angry with you right now. I guess I still... Well, I just wanted to know why you suddenly moved out."

"Why are you so mad at me now? And what were you going to say You guess you still... what?"

Abby said, "I don't think I want to talk about that now. It would only make things worse."

I said, "Well, thanks for calling.

Abby said, "When will I see you again?"

I said, "In a few months, after I make Junior Partner. As soon as I get that out of the way we can proceed with our divorce. I guess the next time I'll see you is when we meet to work out our settlement. That will make you happy won't it."

Abby said, "I guess it will be good to have that out of the way. I hope your promotion turns out to be worth the cost."

I said, "So do I... I'm sorry Abby... I..."

"What are you sorry about?"

Talking to her was so painful. Part of me was still in love with her but the other part of me could only see her as the Abby I saw in the video sucking on Ben's cock. I didn't think I could ever get that image out of my head.

I said, "I'm sorry but I have to go now. I am late for a meeting."

"Okay Mike, I get the message. When did you become such a cold son of a bitch. Is that the lawyer in you or is this just reserved for me? I guess you better run off to your meeting. Good bye Mike."

"Good bye Abby."

I could not say why but I was sure that Abby never got yo the real reason for calling me. There was something else on Abby's mind but for some reason she decided not to share it with me. The overall tone of the call was not friendly, but that was partly my fault and may be what changed her mind. I wished I had handled the call better. I wondered what she was she so pissed at me about and was that the real reason for the call? I wondered if I was better off not knowing what was really on Abby's mind.

For the next two months I kept myself so busy that I hardly noticed the time passing. Then on the first Monday in May my promotion to Junior Partner was announced. It was a big day for me, I was given a substantial raise, my own office with a view of Lake Michigan and I had achieved my first goal and was on my way up. I was looking ahead to the day I would become one of the Senior Partners. All the hard work finally paid off.

That night I went out to celebrate with several members of the firm. During the party I struck up a conversation with one of our paralegals named Sarah O'Leary. I knew Sarah from the office but I had never really talked to her before. Sarah is an attractive redhead, about five feet six inches tall with green eyes and a friendly smile, which was what I needed that night.

During our conversation I told Sarah that I had separated form my wife and planned to file for divorce in a couple of months. I didn't give her any details of the separation because it was still to painful for me to talk about. She told me she was divorced and unattached and liked it that way. We talked so long that we didn't noticed that everyone else had already left the party.

I didn't want Sarah to leave so I said, "I guess it's just you and me now, Would you like to see if we can get a table in the restaurant and have dinner.?"

Sarah said, "I'd love to."

We picked up our drinks and went into the dining room. During dinner I started to wonder what it would be like to make love to Sarah. I actually began to wondered about her red hair. I felt a growing erection in my pants as I imagined myself removing Sarah's panties to see if she was a natural redhead.

I had overcome the shyness of my college years and was now comfortable in most business and social situations but I was still uneasy talking to Sarah. If fact it was Sarah that had approached me earlier in the evening. If she hadn't approached me I would already have been home in my apartment making myself some macaroni and cheese from a box.

I wanted more that evening than to just having dinner with a beautiful woman. I wanted to make love to Sarah but even though I was extremely aroused by the thought of bedding Sarah, I had no idea how to even begin to try and seduce her. After all, I had never in my life seduced anyone. I was having difficulty making myself do what would be necessary to give me a chance with her. Abby was still the only woman with whom I had ever had sex and it had been several months since I last made love to her.

I was so nervous that my hands were sweating but I was determined to at least try, so I took a swallow of my scotch for nerve and then said, "Sarah, after dinner would you like to go someplace else with me?"

She said, "Sure, where do you want to go?"

I felt my mouth go dry as I said, "How about we go back to my apartment for a drink."

Sarah smiled at me and said, "I'd love to and I am hoping for more than just a drink."

After a good meal and a bottle of wine Sarah accompanied me back to my apartment. When we got the apartment I poured us each a glass of wine. Sarah took her glass and sat down on the sofa while I put on some music. On the shelf above my CD player I had set a picture of Abby. I don't know why I still had this picture, it made me sad every time I looked at it. I guess I kept it because it was the only one I had I just could not bring myself to throw it away. Even with the lovely Sarah sitting on my sofa the picture was still able to bring me down. I thought I had come to terms with losing Abby, so why did it still effect me that way.