Wrong number, I was ready to say once again. Four calls in a row. People were convinced I was some Rick Heyer, an HR manager of some freaky company hiring sex toy testers. They called it something like Sex Joy Future Inc, or whatever. I’d have hung up again, but this time it was a girl. A girl with a sweet voice.

“So, you want to be a sex toy tester?” I asked her.

“Yes, I’d like to become one.”

“Any experience?”

“Not yet. If you mean experience with toys. That sort of toy, of course. I guess you’re not manufacturing any children’s playthings.”

“No, we aren’t. Our business is entirely adult-oriented. To be true we tend to favor candidates with experience.”

“But I think I’m experienced enough. Sexually experienced, I mean.”

“Straight? Lesbian? Group sex?”

“I wouldn’t like to go into details. Your job ad says your toys are equipped with artificial intelligence.”

“Sure, they are. The latest developments in the field,” I hastened to confirm.

“That’s what appeals to me about this job. I’ve a degree in computer science.”

“Sounds great. I think we might find you eligible for assessing the abilities of AI-enabled dildos.”

“Just dildos? What about other devices?”

“You dislike dildos?”

“Not at all, but I don’t want to have a narrow focus in my activities.”

“I see your point. And one personal question, if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t.”

“Do you have penis envy?”

“Why are you asking this?”

I took a short pause, then answered.

“Just curious. Personally, as a kid, I wanted to be a girl.”

“Some sort of vagina envy?” asked the girl.

“I’m not sure. I liked the idea that girls could kick boys in the balls, and boys couldn’t do the same to them.”

“I think you’re veering off the subject of the interview.”

“Not at all. Besides creating highly developed sex toys, we do some research on people’s deviations and fetishes. I’d like to continue our interview at my office at your convenience. Have you seen the address on our website?”

“Yes, it’s an hour drive from my place. I can visit your office tomorrow.”

“Great. Ask for me at the front desk,” it took me a second to remember the name, “Rick Heyer, and then, once in my office, I think you can kick me in the balls as a starting point for the interview.”

“Is that necessary?”

“Absolutely. After that, I may well be able to offer you a job in the Deviance and Fetishism Research Department with great career prospects, since that’s our leading area of expertise right now. Can I have your name please?”

“Sophie Durrel.”

“Okay, Sophie, see you tomorrow at any time convenient to you within our business hours.”

I hung up, put the smartphone on my desk, then strolled over to the kitchen. There I took a bottle of beer out of the fridge, opened it and drank half its contents. Then I returned to my room, picked up the smartphone and rang my analyst.

“Hi, Sean. It’s me, Ben Brooks.”

“What’s up, Ben?”

“Just a minute ago I told a strange girl that I wanted to be a girl when I was a kid.”

“And what does that mean?”

“But I never wanted to be a girl. I don’t want to, I didn’t, I haven’t, but for some reason I said I wanted to be a girl years ago.”

“I realize you’d like to have an explanation as to why you said that.”

“You bet. Perhaps this thing is lurking somewhere deep in my subconscious, and now just let itself out.”

‘Tell me how it happened.”

“A girl called me with a wrong number for some company producing sex toys to get a job there as a tester. She had the sexiest voice I’ve ever heard. I at once tried to turn this situation into a practical joke by playing the role of an HR manager of that company. And in the course of this prank, quite unexpectedly, I got this odd confession out of me.”

“You don’t like this confession, do you?”

“No..., well, I’m not sure ... One more thing, I wanted the girl to kick the real manager in the balls, just for giving my number in the job ad. I invited her to visit my, well, his office with an offer to kick me/him in the balls.”

Sean Nesbitt laughed loudly.

“Ben, you’re such a...”

“That’s of no importance what I am,” I interrupted my analyst. “What’s important is that now I feel like I really want her to kick me in the balls. I want her to do that so badly now, I want her to kick me right between my legs, I want her to humiliate my male genitals.”

“Do you think you’ll get some sexual pleasure out of it?”

“Quite possible. It’s like the situation in that picture on the wall of your office.”