Chapter 38

Mom's Story

I've known my basic purpose was to be loved and to have children ever since I had my first period. I've heard stories of long labors and major pain in giving birth from countless women. With all three kids, when I was ready to have them, I had them. Wes and Les were both born before I got into the delivery room. Jaz held off till they closed the door, then he popped out.

I guess my cancer scare was tough going, but the worst part was waiting for the day of the operation. The actual operation was done in the doctor's office and I had to wait a few days for the results, so I had the kids and life to keep me busy.

I can say without a doubt that that Wednesday night was the longest night I've ever gone through. My first born had been in a major accident and could die without ever waking up. Did he know how much I loved him? Was there anything I missed doing to show him how much he meant to me both as a son and an individual?

My second born had unselfishly volunteered to give up part of her body so that he might live. The doctor hadn't gone over chances, but you can't take a major organ out of a human body without some kind of risk. Nobody said it but we all knew it.

I looked over at Sam after they wheeled Les out of the room. She was looking at something only she could see, in another world. I reached over and took her hand.

She eventually came back to the present and looked up at me. "We need to get something to eat. Breakfast and a piece of pie isn't going to give us the energy we need to make it through tonight."

She nodded. We stopped at the nurses' station on the way out. I introduced myself and told them we were going to the cafeteria in case anybody showed up. The nurse told me she didn't know what we did but Dr. Bradley was very impressed with our family and had told the nurses to keep an eye out for us and give us anything we needed. I thanked her and told her prayer would be helpful tonight. She assured me they were all praying for both of my children.

We arrived in the cafeteria and got our trays. Sam wasn't picking anything up. "Come on, Sammy. You need your strength."

"I'm not hungry."

"For Wes and Les. Come on."

She put a couple of things on her tray. I don't think she even knew what she got. I made sure she got a tall glass of milk.

I paid the cashier and looked around. There was an old man sitting off by himself. I walked over to him and asked if we could join him. He seemed startled, then stood up and pulled chairs out for each of us. This man could teach others some lessons about manners.

We talked. For the most part, he talked and we listened. His name was Donald Johnson. He and his wife had lived in La Mesa for almost 60 years. That was when he got out of the navy after serving for 6 months in World War I. They married and had 3 children. And had outlived all three of them. Now, she was upstairs in bed, her body riddled with cancer, tubes and needles sticking out of her, a shell of the woman he had spent his life with.

He was in pain because of the constant pain she felt. He was obviously scared of the future. He couldn't imagine his life without her. He also talked of covering her face with the pillow and ending it. The poor man was so in love with his wife. I realized we weren't as bad off as I thought.

Sam reached over and took his hand in both of hers. "Mr. Johnson, I'm sorry your wife is so sick. I can't imagine how that could be. I've been in love with someone for just a few months and want to spend my life with him like you and your wife. We were going to make love for the first time this afternoon and he got run over by a car. Now I don't know if I'll ever see him again. I just pray I'll be able to talk to someone 60 years from now and tell them my memories with Wes."

It hit me like a fist. I guess there was a part of me that felt Sam's feelings for Wes were puppy love or some competition with Les. This was a grown up woman who was in love with her man. Maybe even more so than Les.

The old man smiled at Sam. "You're right. The Lord has been good to us. We've had a good life together. I just don't know what I'll do without her."

"That's between you and your Lord. I don't know if I'll be able to go on living if Wes dies. That's something I'll have to face if and when that time comes. If you're meant to live on, I'm sure it will happen. If not, you can be back together with your wife that much sooner. And without the pain."

He and I were both tearing up. Sam was growing up fast. He squeezed her hand and said, "Thank you, Sam. You're right. You've definitely given me some things to think about." He looked at me, then back at Sam. "I know it's an imposition, but I have to ask. Would you like to visit my wife?" Sam looked over at me.

"Mr. Johnson, we'd be honored to meet your wife."

He smiled and stood up. Sam picked up the trays and returned them. I had my arm wrapped around Mr. Johnson's. Sam came up and grabbed his other arm.

We went up to his wife's room. It was smaller than ours and had a curtain dividing it into two halves. His wife was on the far side. The other patient was blocked from view by a curtain in front of her bed. I could tell a woman was in there by the occasional moaning.

We met his wife Marie. I didn't realize they had met when he was over in France. She must have been tiny to begin with, she was skin and bones now. I think she was holding on just for him.

Marie seemed enchanted by Sam. She had her sit down on the edge of her bed and they held hands. It was an effort for her to talk, but she kept up a lively conversation. She found out about Wes and assured Sam that it would work out. "Don't you worry. He would be a fool to leave someone like you."

We talked for another 10 minutes and she got tired. I told her we would leave so she could get some sleep but that we would be around tomorrow.

"I don't think that will be necessary. Donald and I have had our time together. It's time for us to go on. Now is the time for Sammy and Wesley. I just hope they can have half the happiness I've had with my Donny."

She was smiling at her husband, tears in the corner of each eye. He held on to her hand, his tears streaming down his face. "You're right, Marie. We've had our time. You can go whenever you're ready. I'll be OK."

She smiled and turned to Sam. "Sammy, could you do a dying lady a favor?"

Sam didn't insult her intelligence by lying to her. "Anything."

"Could you look in on my Donny once in a while after I'm gone?"

"I would be happy to, Marie."

Marie held her arms out. Sam hugged the fragile woman who hugged back fiercely. We went out into the hall, followed by Mr. Johnson.

"I can't thank you two enough. I swear you were sent by God to help us through this time. I know now how selfish I've been holding on to her while she's in such pain. I think she realizes she can be free and I'll still survive. Thank you both."

We hugged each other. I gave him both of our phone numbers, got his, and told him where the waiting room for the operating room was and where our hospital room was. I made sure he knew he could call or visit us if he needed anything. He told us to come back tomorrow to let them know about the operations.

We got to the lounge near the operating room. I knew we weren't going to hear anything for several hours but this is probably where people would come looking for us.

Sam smiled at me. The first smile that wasn't mixed with pain since we were in the kitchen. "I don't feel so bad now. I just know that he's going to make it through this operation and he'll be back riding his bike and running cross country in no time."

We hugged each other. "I hope you're right."

"Oh, Sam. There you are."

We both looked up. A girl who looked a couple of years older than Sam was walking toward us.

Sam yelled out. "Darcy! How did you know we were here?"

"I stopped at the house and your mother told me."

Sam introduced us. "Mom, this is Darcy. She's on the cheer squad with us. She's the one who talked to Wes about her brother. Darcy, this is Wes & Les's mother. We all call her Mom. She's OK. She knows all about Wes and Les and me."

I stood up and held out my arms. "My son seems to think an awful lot about you."

She ran into my arms and hugged me like we'd known each other forever. "I love him so much. He gave me exactly what I needed to get my brother to notice me. You don't know how happy we've been the past couple of days. Gee, it's so hard to believe it's only yesterday morning we met for the first time."

"I know, Sweetheart. It's just been a few days for me, too."

"You mean..."

"Yes. I'm afraid we're all in the same boat. Sam here is the only one who isn't in love with a family member."

"And the only one who hasn't been fucked."

Darcy hugged Sam. "Oh, poor Sammy. By the way, where's Les?"

It took a long time to tell her the whole story. We had to repeat parts of it as more girls wandered in. By the time we were done, the whole cheer squad was in the waiting room. And Joey. He'd ridden his bike over and found us shortly after Darcy came in. He handed Sam a suitcase when he first saw us, then sat by himself.

A little after 9:00 Dr. Bradley came over to us. "I just want to let you know that we just sent Leslie into Intensive Care. Everything went smoothly, the kidney has been removed and they're starting to transplant it to Wes. We decided to work on his legs while we were getting the kidney so he should be done in an hour or so. The leg work went fine, actually better than I thought it would. He's a strong boy. I'm sure he'll come out of the surgery just fine."

"Dr. Bradley. How can you remove both kidneys and put in a new one in an hour?"

"I'm sorry. Did I give you the impression he had his kidneys? We took them out this afternoon before I met you. They were damaged so much it was harming him for them to be in his body. I'm not too proud to admit I was scared when I saw him on the table without kidneys. If Les hadn't stepped forward, I don't know what we would have done."

He held out a hand and pulled me out of the chair. He excused us and took me to an empty area where we could talk. "Boy, Wes has quite a fan club."

"They're not all here for Wes. Les and Sam are on the cheer squad with them."

"Be that as it may, I can tell your son is something special. You can tell me to shut up if you want, but I get the impression Les's love for him goes beyond what a sister normally has for her brother."

"We all love him, Doctor."

He raised an eyebrow and looked at me a bit closer. "Then I guess I'd better get back in there and make sure everything goes alright. I'll come back to see you after we finish with your son."

We all talked for a few minutes. Joey didn't say anything. He just sat there looking sad.

I looked over toward the elevators. Mr. Johnson had just gotten off. He was hesitating, afraid to interrupt us. His shoulders were slumped more than before.

I stood up. "Mr. Johnson. Over here."

I looked at the couch we were sitting on. "Anna, could you go sit in that chair so we have room for Mr. Johnson? Thank you, Dear."