Chapter 22

I went in Mom's bathroom, put the jar of Vaseline in the medicine cabinet, tossed the washcloth in their hamper and washed my hands with soap and water.

As I walked into the bedroom I saw that Mom was under the covers. "Mind it I join you?"

"As long as you don't take advantage of me again."

I made as if to leave the room. "I'm not the one who started this, Mom."

"I know Honey. I guess that wasn't very funny to you, was it?"

"No."

"Come over here with me, Baby."

I went over to the bed and lay down next to her and my back. She wrapped her arm around me, lay her head on my chest and started playing with my hair. "You've gone through a lot of changes the past few days, haven't you."

"You can say that again."

"Does it bother you to make love to your old mother?"

"Mom. I don't think of you as old. But I still think of you as Mom. It just doesn't seem natural. And when you told me about you and Dad, it was so romantic the way you met. How can you do this to him?"

"Wesley, don't worry about that. You're not doing anything to your father that he hasn't done to me."

"What do you mean?"

"Your father and I have kind of an unspoken understanding. He's going to fuck just about anything that moves and there's not a damn thing I can do about it."

"You sound bitter."

I looked down and saw tears coming down her face. I grabbed the corner of the sheet and wiped them off, then lifted her head up so I could kiss her on the forehead. She smiled and hugged me.

"I've never told anyone about it. I'm sorry, Baby. It's not fair of me to put this on your shoulders."

"Mom. Like it or not, we've opened up a can of worms here. I'm fucking my mother. And loving it. I'm not about to give that up until you push me away. I also feel guilty about cheating on my father, even though I never got close to the man. From what you're telling me, I don't have any idea who or what he is. You can't just dump this on me and clam up. Especially when I know you're hurting. Damn it Mom, I love you. Let me help you. Talk to me, damn it."

She hugged me tighter. "OK, Wesley. I hope you know what you're getting yourself into. I'll tell you what. Why don't you go into the kitchen and get the pitcher of orange juice and a couple of glasses while I use the bathroom. This is going to take a while."

I stopped by my bathroom on the way to the kitchen. When I came back to the room with the orange juice, Mom was just putting extra pillows near the headboard so we could sit up and talk. She took her glass of orange juice in one hand and held onto one of my hands. She rested her head on my shoulder.

"OK. I have no idea how this is going to work out. I've never told anybody any of this before. I've kept it bottled up inside for years. You're going to have to excuse me if I get emotional."

I squeezed her hand.

She put down her juice, put her left arm behind me, wrapped her right arm around me, still holding my hand. Her head was now on my chest, just below my right shoulder.

"I told you how soon we got married after we met and how much I was in love with your father. I also said you've always been my favorite. I was still 18 when you were born. I was innocent and totally in love with your father. He was this strong, experienced, wise man, seven years older than I was. When I was near him, I just felt safe. He had just gone through some pretty bad pain so I wouldn't get hurt just before you were conceived. When you were born, you were the symbol of my perfect love for your father.

"Your father had been pretty good up till you were born. He was usually attentive to me. It was as if we were still courting, making up for time we lost in getting married right away. I don't regret getting married when we did, like I said, I would have knocked him off his feet and gotten knocked up before long if I had to wait. I was in heat and nothing was going to stop me.

"Towards the end it got uncomfortable to make love the regular way. Your father was patient and I was in love and willing, so he showed me other ways to satisfy him. I was eager to learn anything that would let me show my love for him.

"While I'm thinking about it, there's something else I need to tell you. When you're in love with someone, there's no such thing as dirty or wrong. As long as both people agree with what they're doing, it's OK. Now I know you were devastated when you realized you hurt your sister with the ruler. That's why I made sure you made it up to her. What you don't know is how much Leslie needed what you gave her. She's been in love with your father for her whole life and has wanted some attention for ever. Don't think I don't realize how she intentionally acts up and plays with him. I've known about it since she was about 3 years old. Unfortunately, I don't think she'll ever get what she wants from that man, and that's a shame." She squeezed tighter as it was obvious I wanted to question her. "I'll get into that later. Just hang in there with me. The point is you gave her something she's been missing for 11 or 12 years. She needed some discipline and you were the only one perceptive enough to see it. She was starting to get out of control. Not only with you but with others. There wasn't anything I could do about it or she would end up hating me. She needed a strong man to put her over his knee and blister her bottom and I'm glad you did it. And I'll expect you to do it if she ever needs it again." I breathed in. "I know, I know. You scared yourself silly with what you did to her. But I'll tell you something. If you were any gentler on her it wouldn't have done any good. Don't think I don't know what goes on in this house. Sam told me this morning that Leslie told her she deserved that spanking and meant it. She was also proud that her brother blistered her butt. So, like it or not, you may need to do it again."