Chapter 5

Luke finished hammering the swing set and stood back to admire the finished project. He'd gone out yesterday, a case of last minute nerves, and bought this crazy concoction to give him something to do and as a welcome home gift to his son.

His son.

A part of him held back from the idea, just as he'd been holding back from Sarah since she'd told him the truth. He'd still been sleeping in the guest bedroom alone, and any attempt she made to discuss the past had been met with a steely resistance on his part.

It wasn't that he hated her. He hated this whole situation. He hated that he couldn't remember why he had left so long ago when Sarah had been certain they were on the right path to reconciliation. He hated that he didn't know where he'd been, or who he'd been with. He hated that Riley, a man he didn't know, was stalking Sarah. Yeah, he hated a lot of things, but he didn't hate her.

He'd tried though. Try as hard as he might, he just couldn't. He kept thinking about her situation and the choices she'd made since he'd left. Hell, he even admired her for some of them. People made mistakes everyday, and they learned from them. Luke also wanted to believe Jack was without a doubt his son, and he wanted to believe they would turn into one big, happy family when the boy finally came home.

But what if Jack didn't like him? What if Sarah only wanted Luke around so her kid would have a dad?

Shaking his head of the thoughts, he collected his tools and hurried inside to clean up. Sarah had gone to the airport alone to pick up the boy and to see her parents off on the return flight. She'd asked Luke to go with her, but he had refused, more out of nerves than anything. He didn't think he could face meeting her parents, strangers to him, on the same day he first met his son. Their therapist had advised him not to do anything he didn't feel comfortable doing, so Sarah hadn't pushed the issue.

He was sitting watching TV when he heard them drive up. The next thing he knew, the door was being flung open and a little tornado was barreling straight for him!

The boy was talking a mile a minute, saying something Luke could hardly understand, something about someone named Dorie and how glad he was to meet his daddy. He threw himself at Luke, hugging Luke's leg with a fierceness that apparently surprised even Sarah. She had followed and was watching the scene unfold from the doorway.

"Dorie?" Luke repeated helplessly, looking at Sarah. She actually covered her mouth and laughed!

"Mommy said you're just like Dorie and can't remember anything," the boy explained in an energetic rush, pulling back to hold out a stuffed animal of some sort. "See my elephant? Grandma got it at the airport for me. I also got a giraffe and a lion. They're in my bags."

"Cool," was all Luke could say.

"Yeah. Hey, did you fix up our house? It looks different," Jack observed, then grabbed hold of Luke's hand and tugged him toward his room without giving Luke a chance to reply. "C'mon, Daddy. Wanna see my room? I got lots a stuff. Do you like the Power Rangers?"

"Power Rangers?" What on earth?

"Jack," Sarah called from behind them. "Give your father time to respond."

"Gotta show Daddy my room!" he called back, refusing to pause from his mission. Luke just sent Sarah a look that asked her not to interfere.

Luke was seated on the floor and shown at least a hundred toys, which all had names he would never be able to remember, while Jack chatted a-mile-a-minute in his barely understandable three-year-old voice. Sarah stood in the doorway the whole time, alternately crying and laughing at the picture they made.

Finally, Jack stopped long enough for Luke to say with a smile, "You haven't even given me a chance to show you your surprise!"

The boy, of course, loved the swing set and excitedly went straight for it when he saw it, forgetting all about his new "Daddy" for the moment. Standing back to watch, Luke felt Sarah slip her hand in his. "He's something, isn't he?"

"He's wonderful," Luke said, feeling his chest swell with pride. "He just accepted me, just like that. I thought..."

"You thought it would be awkward," she finished for him, squeezing his hand. "I've told him about you. His whole life, he's known about you. You weren't as big a surprise to him as he was to you."

"Daddy! Look!" Jack yelled as he kicked his feet and set himself flying through the air on a swing seat.

Squeezing her hand back, Luke whispered emotionally, "Thank you for that. He's a great little boy."

Still, he wondered... "Who's Dorie?" and Sarah laughed. "Don't worry," she replied with a smile. "I'm sure Jack will make you watch 'Finding Nemo' a thousand times before the week is over. I just explained your condition to him on his level, in a way I knew he'd understand. You have problems with your memory, just like a character in his favorite movie."

He nodded and realized that she must make a great teacher.

Luke was amazed at how well-adjusted the boy was to the whole situation as the three of them spent the rest of the day catching up. A couple of times Jack asked why had Luke been gone so long? Why did he never write or call? Before Luke could answer, Sarah would say, "Remember what I've always told you? Sometimes mommies and daddies don't always live together, sweetheart."

"Do we live together now?"

Swallowing hard, Sarah just nodded, "For now, yes."

Mrs. Nash came over for a special dinner and cried buckets at having Jack home again. She explained to Luke that she looked after the little boy when Sarah worked. "He keeps me from being so lonely," she confided. "Whenever she sends him to visit his grandparents, it almost kills me. It makes me jealous that I'm not his grandmother."

"I bet Jack thinks of you as a grandmother," Luke tried to reassure her.

She waved it away. "Oh, posh. It's not the same."

Luke thought for a second. "Well, I don't have a mother or father living. What do you say? Would you like to be Jack's honorary grandma on my side?"

Edna's eyes welled up with happy tears as she looked at Luke long and hard for a minute. Reaching up, she framed his face with her hands and said, "Bless you, Luke Johnston. I understand now why Sarah loves you so much. You're a good, decent human being. It shows in your eyes."

"My eyes?" he laughed, feeling a little embarrassed by the assessment.

"Oh yes," she said, lowering her hands. "And that handsome face. If I were only a few years younger, I'd give Sarah a run for her money!" He laughed at that too.

After taking Jack outside to toss around a ball, Luke told the boy that he could call Mrs. Nash "Grandma" if he wanted. He was a little surprised when Jack said no, and as best as Luke could decipher: "That's what I call Grandma. Scotty has two grandmas, and he calls one Nanna. Can I call Mrs. Nash that?"

"Why don't you ask her and see?"

Edna's eyes twinkled with merriment as Jack asked the simple question, and she shot Luke a look of thanks as she scooped the boy up and declared that she would love to be called Nanna! Sarah was carrying some food to the table and saw the look that passed between her neighbor and her husband. She sent Luke a watery smile of her own, looking at him as if he were some kind of knight in shining armor.

Feeling quite uncomfortable by that look, Luke decided to call it a night. He had a lot to think about. He needed time alone. When Jack asked Luke to read him a bedtime story first, Luke held firm and said, "Not tonight, sport. Tomorrow night, OK?"

Jack wasn't too happy with that plan, but Luke left Sarah to deal with the fallout. Instead of heading to his room, however, he found himself outside, soothed by the calmness of the moonlight, the chirping crickets and the privacy the night provided. With a sigh, he sat in one of the porch chairs and just stared out into the backyard where the outline of Jack's new swing set stood. He could hear Sarah and Jack moving around inside, talking as she tried to get their son settled for the night.

Luke knew he should probably stop questioning Jack's paternity and accept the kid as his own regardless. He'd only known him one day and he was already in love with the brat. And Sarah, despite her faults, would make him a good wife. If he had any sense, he would just bury the past here and now and start trying to concentrate on the future. Concentrate on making a family.

Still... he just couldn't escape the feeling that there was something he needed to know. Many times he'd felt optimistic his memories were returning because he could sense some stray thought teasing the edge of his mind. It was a feeling that was only stronger now that he'd met Jack.

Maybe it was intuition. Instinct. Memory? Whatever. He knew there was something in his past, something maybe even Sarah wasn't aware of, that he needed to remember, for all their sakes.

The problem was, he didn't know what the hell to do about it.

Sarah realized Luke wasn't resting when, after much inner debate, she opened the door to the guest room to peek inside. She'd finally gotten Jack settled for the night, but nearly an hour later, she couldn't seem to get herself settled. She missed Luke. She wanted him back in her bed, back in her life where he belonged. How much longer would she have to pay for her past mistakes? Well, she would only take so much, even from Luke.

She took a deep breath and decided to confront him before Jack got any more involved with a man who might not be around very long. If it was just her, maybe she could put up with the constant not knowing. But Jack was her main priority. She might have half-forgotten that fact these past few months, but she wouldn't do it again. The sooner she pointed that out to Luke, and made herself remember it, the better.