Chapter 5

Bob arrived home first and found a note from Sandy propped up on a chair when he entered the kitchen door. It said for him to freshen up and meet her at Jan's. He showered and dressed in his dark blue suit and tie.

He knocked on Jan's back door before entering and made his way to the family room. The two girls sat in easy chairs and he noticed their skirts rode well above their knees. Both of their outfits screamed expensive! Clearing his throat, Bob said, "Don't you two look great."

"Sit down, Bob," said Sandy, in a voice that might have sunk the Titanic.

I wish Stan were with me, thought Bob, as he sat down in a mahogany fiddle-back chair. "Did you ladies have a pleasant day?"

"Cut the small talk, Bob," said Sandy, "and let me tell you how things are going to be tonight. You and Stan are taking us out to dinner at Chasen's. And Jan and I are ready for another drink. Make us two fresh, extra dry, Beefeater martinis with olives."

"Did you say Chasen's?" Sandy gave him a look that would frighten Dracula. "Huh, sure, it won't take a minute." Jan gave Sandy the okay sign and a look of amused amazement. Sandy threw her shoulders back and lifted a defiant chin.

As Bob put the martinis on a tray, Stan walked in, "Hi everyone. Don't you two gals look spiffy."

"Shut up, Buster, and get your ass cleaned up and dressed in thirty minutes. You're taking us out to dinner."

"Sure, fine. You two deserve something nice."

"We're going to Chasen's," said Bob.

"Might as well do it first class," mumbled Stan.

Bob mixed himself a neat scotch and returned to his seat. "So tell me about your da..." started Bob. Sandy cut him off by asking Jan about the new Boutique on Rodeo Drive and for the following half-hour the two women carried on an exclusive conversation, while Bob sat twiddling his drink, so to speak.

Stan met his thirty-minute deadline and when the girls rose from their chairs they tugged down their skirts from mid-thigh to knee length. Both men stared appreciatively but held their tongues.

At Chasen's, when the maitre'd had led them to their large booth Jan told Bob to sit by her and had Stan sit next to Sandy. Both men raised eyebrows but did as they were told. The conversation throughout the sumptuous dinner consisted of Sandy and Jan talking to each other, allowing Stan and Bob to speak among themselves. They spoke very little.

After the ladies ordered cherries jubilee for dessert, Jan unbuttoned her jacket, as did Sandy. Their nipples poked proudly and the whole of their breasts were clearly outlined through the sheerness of the camisoles they wore. Their waiter fumbled ever so slightly in placing the dessert dishes in front of the women.

While the wives went to the ladies room to apply lipstick, Stan and Bob gave the parking ticket to the valet and waited for him to retrieve Bob's Lexus. "My dinner came to over three hundred dollars plus tip," said Bob.

"It's better than hiring a defense lawyer for rape, and if you think dinner was steep, wait until we get the tab for those outfits they have on."

"My eyes had trouble staying in their sockets when they opened their jackets. I wonder if it's the spare bedroom again tonight?"

"Beats me. I can't make out their game plan. Why did they have us sit with each other's wives? There has to be a message in there someplace, but I'm confused."

"C'mon you're the Shylock. The one that can read people and lead them in any direction you wish."

"Oh, shut up. You're the architectural engineer and deal with plans. What's theirs?"

"I design buildings not women. To figure out women I'd have to spend most of my time in the nut house trying to figure out why the nutcases are nuts."

"Don't let them hear you say that or you might be minus a penis come daybreak. We'd better pamper their every little wish until they unlock the doors to our dog houses."

"Do you have the feeling we've created two monsters?"

"Yeah, Lorena Bobbit and Lucy Borden with a credit card fetish. Looks like we're going to pay and pay and pay for our sins." When the valet arrived with the car, Jan got in the front seat with Bob and Sandy sat with Stan. Both snuggled against the passenger side doors and didn't utter a word on the long drive home.

On Wednesday morning, Bob and Stan fixed their own cold cereal for breakfast, while the icebergs slept in. Around 10:30 Jan entered Sandy's kitchen for coffee. As they sat at the breakfast table, Sandy said, "Great dinner last night. Did you see their eyes pop when we opened our jackets?"

"Poor dears, they don't know whether to kiss our asses or our feet."

"How long do we stay in the deep freeze?"

"Until Friday night if we agree that 'we wuz robbed' about not realizing any pleasure during the swap."

"Wow, I've been agonizing as to where we go from here, and it sounds like you think we ought to swap again on our terms."

"I'm the cat with the curiosity. I've got the itch to try out Bob, but if you feel we should stop this right here, I'll scratch my itch some other way."

"I was hoping that you wanted to see what we missed and afraid you would. This is probably not a smart thing to do, but we've changed. Our little affair together has brought us closer than sisters and we got raped without being able to enjoy it. Uh, that didn't come out right.'

"Actually, it did. In a squirrelly sort of way."

"Tell me about your plan."

Jan said, "Okay, here goes. The guys wanted us to show more skin. We'll tell them that we've made dinner reservations at the country club on Friday night. We wear the same jackets as last night but without the camisoles, and combine that with the micro-minis and our see-through panties."

"Whoa, Hoss. I like our country club. One trip in there dressed like that and I'd be too embarrassed to ever go back."

"No. I said we'd tell them that's where we were going, when actually we'll pick out some intimate restaurant with soft lights. Hmm, better make that a restaurant with practically no lights at all."

"Right. On some distant planet."

"Yep, it must be out of the way. Way out of the way."

"So we need to go restaurant shopping. It's not a good diet plan."

"We'll just restaurant browse."

"And how do we approach the swapping part?"

"Just talking about it makes me horny."

"Me-e-e too," said Sandy.

"Strip poker for starters or blindfold them and make them guess who's making out with them. Or some other type of adult game."

"How about a combination. But would they let us blindfold them?"

"They're so confused now after our switching places at the table and in the car and our silent treatment, that they might jump off the roof if we suggested it."

"I like being boss."

"Don't get too used to it. Once they know they're off the hook. It'll be back to them sharks and we minnows."

"Maybe them sharks, us swordfish."

"What's our leverage?"

"We might drop little hints that we like the swapping scene so much that we might do a bit of free-lancing."

"Are you serious?'

"No, of course not. Just hint I said. We could keep 'em on a short leash and jerk the chain once in a while. Wait a minute, I see that gleam in your eye. Would you even consider cheating?" Jan didn't answer. She merely shrugged her shoulders.

"With someone like Jimmy, the yard boy?"

"You know he's too close. He only lives down the block."

"Jesus, let's drop this subject. I feel wicked enough as it is."

"You're right. Let's go restaurant shopping and maybe we should hit one of those adult stores where they sell all those kinky things."

"Have you ever been to one?"

"No, but now's the time."

"They're probably full of creepy old men and perverts with a capital 'P.'"

"Surely not in the early afternoon."

"I'm game. What do we wear?"

"Suits of armor. No, but something as conservative as Jesse Helms."

"You said it right the first time. A suit of armor with sunglasses." An hour later they headed south on the freeway for twenty-five minutes before taking an off ramp to a street they knew had lots of restaurants. They'd checked the yellow pages. For two hours they bopped in and out of restaurants without any luck, before finding The Rathskellar.

To enter, they walked down three steps and had to wait a full minute to let their eyes adjust to the dimness. Perfect! A young hostess greeted them and they made reservations for Friday night.

Back in the car, Jan said, "They must serve high quality food since they save so much on electricity."

Sandy giggled, "I wonder if the guys will be able to swallow, what with the get ups we'll be wearing."

"Okay, what's the street address again of the Pink Pussycat Adult Lounge and Shop?"

"Turn right on 132nd and it's in the next block on the right."

"Sounds like you're familiar with the place."

"I drove by it once."

"And stopped in how many times?"

"Shut up, and let me tuck my hair under this beret." In the Pussycat parking lot, Jan donned her beret and sunglasses. They both wore slacks with panty girdles underneath. Iron maidens, as Sandy called them. Baggy blouses buttoned to the neck. Flats on their feet. Cash in their pockets. Their pocket books were locked in the trunk.

They opened the curtain-lined glass door and were surprised to see a brightly lit room filled with racks of video tapes whose covers detailed naked or near naked women, men and women, women and women and two racks of men and men. Relatively well-dressed young men and older men browsed and pulled out tapes to read the covers.

Adult magazines and books lined one wall. Sex toys took up another whole wall. Sandy stopped in front of the dildo section and whispered to Jan, "What's that thing? It looks like a two-headed snake."