Chapter 30

Bev, it turned out, had brought everything needed for a Japanese dinner. She cooked, first putting on a clear plastic apron. "To protect my assets, ' she said.

When the dinner was served, Bev slipped her little singlet on before she sat down. They all ate hungrily, then the talk began again. "Sara, ' Bev asked, "where are you staying Wednesday after the movers leave?'

"Oh, I'll go out and get a room at the airport, ' she replied.

"Why not stay with us... ' said Bev.

" ... and save a buck?' Jerry added.

"Hey, thanks, I'd love that.'

Ralph ventured, "That makes it easy for my idea. Since you'll be with them on Wednesday, why not come to us for dinner on Tuesday? That's if Jerry doesn't mind switching.'

"You've cleared this with Helen?' Ralph had cleared it; Jerry didn't mind. "Absolutely. Tell me what I should bring, okay? — That means I've got Monday and Tuesday to get things organized, turn over my car and stuff. I can pack a bag or two of things to wear until the van gets there, and I'll be all set.'

"I thought you didn't wear anything at the club, ' Ralph said.

"Hey, what do I know? Yeah, on the grounds from noon till closing, clothing optional, But I have no idea what we'll be doing. We may want to drive around and get the lay of the land (Oops!) or go out to dinner or something. We have to buy a car. And, what if it rains all the time?'

"We can stay in bed, ' Steve said, "and I'll bet we get plenty of company.'

The brandy appeared again, and they all sat about the living room, Bev on the sofa with Steve and Ralph, Sara and Jerry squeezed together in a wide armchair. The talk wandered along, and everyone was feeling each other and being warm and happy.

"You know what, ' Sara finally said, "I want to tell you all something that's happened to me in the last few months ... When I met Steve — what was it, six months ago? — I was going along, generally pretty happy. I had my line-up of guys to sleep with and I thought I had my life pretty well organized. But you know, I wasn't really happy about it all. I thought there was something wrong with me that I needed to have so many men, needed to get laid so often. Not really serious, you know, but wondering. Then, the first night I went out with Steve, I ended up fucking him and two other guys almost all night. Well, the next day I felt wonderful — until I started to think about it all. Then, I got really upset. I didn't know how to deal with it.

"What were you upset about?' Bev asked, "I mean, what were you thinking, exactly?'

"I kept saying to myself, 'Why am I like this? Why do I need so much sex? Isn't it wrong?' No, that's not really what I was thinking. It was more like, 'There's something wrong with me, and this much need for sex is wrong.''

"And what happened?' Ralph asked.

"Well, it's funny. I sort of put the whole thing aside for a while. I've fussed about this before, ever since I realized I have to live like this. And then, several things happened. First, Steve kept telling me how much he liked me and wanted to go on seeing me, even though I knew I'd done something most people think is wrong. Then, I met Charity Hoyle, and in addition to teaching me to eat pussy, she told me, 'Sara, some people have red hair; it's the way they are. You and I have hot pants. It's the way we are.'

"After that, I went to the club and spent an absolutely glorious weekend fucking teenagers and adults and guys and girls, and exchanging sex tips with a fourteen-year-old girl who may know more about sex than any of us. I got tons of caresses and hugs that weren't especially sexual — and a lot that were, and some that I wasn't interested in. I discovered I loved the first two and I could do without the last, but the whole thing felt right and good.