Copyright© 2004

"Would you like to go to lunch?" Tina's question caught me more than a little off-guard.

Tina Forstner, now Tina Radcliffe, was the main reason a lot of the guys stayed with the company, even as its fortunes waned. She was a small, dark-haired woman, who simply exuded sex. Not that she was particularly well endowed, or that she went out of her way to dress enticingly. It was just something that started with those big bedroom eyes, and combined with the way she seemed at ease in almost any situation. If she had ever dated any of the guys in the office, they never talked about it, and it never showed in the way she treated any of them.

Tina was as quick to swap raunchy stories as any of the guys, and you never had to worry about whether that hand on the shoulder or a quick hug was going to be misconstrued - partly because if you ever did get out of line, Tina would realign you, post haste. She didn't believe in calling HR to handle something that she was perfectly capable of taking care of for herself.

While Tina was the unofficial darling of the office, she endeared herself to everyone by earning their respect, as well as their longing stares. Her smile brightened the whole place, but if there was a tough job to be done, you wanted Tina on the team. She kept everyone organized, handled myriad little details that most of the guys never thought of, and generally made sure everyone was doing what they should be doing.

With all of this, though, I had never seen her socializing individually with anyone, least of all me. That was why I was speechless for a long moment when she asked me to go to lunch. Finally I gathered my wits enough to realize she hadn't specifically said it would be just the two of us, no matter what my fantasies told me to believe.

"Sure!" I gulped, "Who else is going?"

"Just me!" she laughed, but even to me, it sounded a little forced.

Instead of going to one of the places nearby, we drove across town to a little Italian place she knew. She didn't speak on the way, except to give directions, and by the time we got seated, my curiosity was killing me.

I guess neither of us was very hungry. She ordered the minestrone, saying it was the best in the city, but that it was a meal by itself, and I followed her lead.

The soup was, indeed, delicious, but after the first spoonful, I didn't taste much of it.

"You're recently divorced," she began "aren't you Luke?"

"Yeah, two months." I could have added 'five days, one hour, and twenty-seven minutes.' but thought that a little melodramatic, even when it was done on TV.

"Did you ever cheat on your wife, Luke?" she stared at me intently as she asked that.

"No." was all I said. My curiosity was still itching, but I wasn't real comfortable with questions about my divorce.

"Have you dated anyone since?" still staring.

"No." I was getting a little tense. Even someone as well liked as Tina could step over the line. "What's with all the questions? Do you work for my wife's lawyer or something?"

"No, Luke!" she was taken aback, obviously not having considered how her questions might be construed. "Nothing like that! It's just, well... You know I recently got married, right?"

Actually, I had met Barry Radcliffe a couple of times when he came to pick her up at the office. An enormous bear of a man who made my six-two, two hundred pounds look like the original ninety pound weakling. He also seemed to be one of the kindest, gentlest men on the face of the earth. One of those big men who have nothing to prove, and instead try to be careful that their size doesn't unintentionally hurt or intimidate those around them. When he shook my hand he was careful not to apply too much pressure, though I felt he could have crushed my hand without trying.

"Yeah, I've met your husband." I replied, "Nice guy. You could have done a lot worse."

She smiled warmly, which answered any questions I might have had about the relationship going south, and said, "Yes he is, isn't he? Barry is the most thoughtful, kindest person I know, and well..."

Her face screwed up into an expression I'd never seen on it before.

"Look, Luke." she put her delicate hand over mine, "there's no easy way to ask this, and I'm going to have to tell you some very private things before I do, so I've got to ask you, please, to never tell anyone about this conversation."

Her eyes pled her case more eloquently than her words, but I would never have done anything to hurt or embarrass her anyway. I think most of the guys felt that way about Tina.

"Sure, Tina." I replied, as sincerely as I could, "Now what's the big deal?"

She crumbled her breadstick to powder, staring at me without really seeing me, before she found the words to answer.

"Do you find me attractive, Luke?" she said, "I mean, sexually?"

I kind of smiled out the corner of my mouth, "I think all the guys, possibly even Mario, and about half the women in that office find you sexually attractive, Tina, and I'm no exception."

Mario was blatantly gay, and made no bones about flirting with all the guys in the office. We put up with it the same way Tina put up with us - as long as there was no inappropriate touching or other 'over the line' behavior, it was just good-natured teasing. Mario got his work done and done well, so nobody had any complaints.

Tina had the grace to blush at my answer, and having finished off the breadstick, started shredding her napkin.

"Would you like to have sex with me?" she said softly, not looking at me, "Before you answer, you should know that there's a catch."

Her eyes flashed upward to mine as she finished speaking.

"The answer, of course," I replied, in what I hoped was a calm voice, "is yes, but I'd have to know about the catch before I'd agree."

"That's fair enough." she picked another microscopic piece off the edge of the napkin. "You've met Barry, so you know how big he is. Well, he's big where you can't see, too. Really big!"

Her eyes found mine again, pleading for understanding, "Too big for someone my size!"

"I kinda wondered about that when I first met him," I replied, "but what does it have to do with me?"

"That's where it gets complicated, Luke." she tore another piece off. "See, Barry and I love each other very much, but there's no way he's ever going to be able to make love to me the way he wants, or the way I want."

"We tried everything." She sighed forlornly, "I bought a bunch of dildoes in different sizes, and we both tried using them to stretch me. I even thought if I could stretch my anus enough he'd be able get in there, but it was no use. It's one thing say 'look, if a baby can come out there, then surely it can be stretched enough to accommodate a mere penis!', but it's quite another to make it work. Barry's a little over seven feet tall, and I'm just under five feet. I don't know how we thought it was going to work, but it doesn't."

"We thought about having an 'open' marriage, but the idea didn't really appeal to either of us. We thought about maybe bringing in another woman - one who was bisexual but big enough to handle Barry. We even tried it once, but it just didn't work for me, and Barry was so concerned about me, he didn't get much out of it, either. We thought about another couple who might want to swap, but finding just the right couple with the right physical characteristics, who would be both discreet and compatible with us was an impossible task."

Tina destroyed some more of the napkin and took a sip of her iced tea before continuing.

"Barry and I had just about decided that mutual masturbation and oral sex were about as close as we were ever going to get to consumating our marriage," she continued, swiping idly at the beads of condensation on the outside of her glass, "when Barry mentioned that, in college, he had gotten so desperate that he had gone to bed with his roommate. Seems the roommate was a fairly adventurous sort who didn't care which sex he slept with. Anyway, while it wasn't the deep, lasting relationship Barry craved, he did say that it was so nice finding someone who could handle his size, that he had screwed the roommate for the rest of the semester."

I was beginning to get a glimmer of where this might be going, and to my surprise, while my mind was playing denial games, my cock was standing at attention!

"And so... ?" I prompted, not really sure I wanted to hear the answer.

"So we thought it might work to bring in another guy." she replied, her eyes burning into mine, "One whom we both like and respect, with an open mind and a closed mouth, who might be willing to help us out with our little dilemma."

I returned her gaze, my heart thumping in my chest, and said, "I think I know where you're going with this, but I need you to spell it out for me, Tina."

She clearly hoped to avoid having to do that, but she shrugged, took a deep breath and leaned over the table to speak in a very low voice.

"We want you, Luke," she said, "to sleep with us. To have sex with both of us. To be my surrogate husband, and Barry's surrogate wife."

I exhaled noisily, not having realized I was holding my breath.

"I don't know, Tina." I said, "I mean, I'm pretty open minded about sex, and I'd love to have the chance to make love to you. The few times I've met Barry, I liked and respected him, too. I've even experimented with bisexuality and enjoyed it, but if Barry's as big as you say he is, I'm just not sure I can handle him..."

She took my hand in both of hers and once again her gaze burned into mine. "Barry is the gentlest man alive, Luke. He would never do anything to harm anyone, unless they tried to hurt someone he loves. Please, just come over tonight and have dinner with us, and we'll play it by ear from there, okay?"

How could I refuse? Tina had pulled my ass through a lot of tough assignments at work, always insisting that it was a team effort, and refusing to take credit for her individual part of it. The very least I could do was give the only favor she'd ever asked of me a fair hearing.

I was quaking inside when I replied, "I guess that can't hurt. Uh, what time?"

I don't think Emily Post ever covered this situation in her books, so I winged it and brought a nice bottle of wine. To my horror, Barry opened the door, looking like a giant as he ducked his head beneath the doorframe to shake my hand. As usual, he was careful not to crush my hand, and the warmth of his greeting put me a little more at ease.

"Luke!" he boomed, though I got the impression he was trying to moderate his tone somewhat, "I was afraid you wouldn't show! Please, come in!"

"Hey, Barry." I fumbled, "Uh, I guess Tina's talked to you about our conversation this afternoon?"

"Well, actually," Barry said, taking the wine and handing me an open beer, "we discussed it before she talked to you. We kinda sorted through all the people we knew, and you floated to the top. Not only did I like you when I met you, but Tina has always spoken well of you, even before we got into this discussion. Look, Luke, I know this is an awkward situation, okay? I have no idea how this evening's going to turn out, but I really want to thank you for at least giving us a hearing."

I felt my ears flush, since, to be honest, I had stood outside that door for a long time before deciding to actually ring the bell.

I took the seat he offered and sipped from the beer, almost choking on it as Tina swept into the room in clingy, form-fitting dress that showed clearly that she wore nothing underneath. I stood again, and she came to me, hugging me warmly.

"Thank you so much for coming tonight, Luke!" she said earnestly. "I know this is not an easy thing to be asked to do, and I appreciate you at least coming to hear us out!"

The meal was simple and delicious - leg of lamb pierced with slivers of garlic, steamed vegetables, and saffron rice. Tina refused to let us talk about anything important - work, or the 'other thing' - during dinner. After coffee, and a superb slice of homemade cheesecake, Barry poured snifters of an excellent cognac, Tina dimmed the lights and lit candles, and settled beside me on the sofa. Barry sat in the overstuffed chair facing us.

Soft music played on the stereo, and the atmosphere, though charged with sexuality, was mellow, flowing.