Chapter 4

The next few days were misery for the young girl. She tried putting Phillipe and his enticements out of her mind which, of course, only served to bring them more firmly into her consciousness. She found herself closing her eyes and reliving, in her mind, the excitement, the titillation, the actual arousal she had felt from his kisses and touch. Normally an excellent, attentive student, she was called to task by her teachers on several occasions for daydreaming in class. Talking with Amber between and after classes only made matters worse, for the other girl, although not yet approached by Phillipe as she had been, was nevertheless totally infatuated with him and even envious of his having kissed taylor and not her.

She was torn, knowing she should simply ignore Phillipe's advances and suggestion, yet, her womanhood awakened, she could not resist, wondering what it would be like, especially with the smartest, and from her naive viewpoint most experienced, person she had ever known. While he had not actually said in so many words that he was experienced with women, he certainly had given that impression and the more she replayed their conversation and the kiss and caress, the more she became convinced Phillipe was a very experienced and consummate lover.

He was cute, especially now that he had changed the way he dressed and his new hair style made him look even older. Perhaps, as he had said, her first time should be with someone who could make it unforgettable. She had heard some of the experienced older girls at school talk about their first times being rushed, under some bleachers at the football field or in the back seat of a car. They had laughed, sometimes with a bitterness, at how unromantic it had been. Phillipe had always been different from the other boys, first his intellect, then his perceived nerdishness, and now his sophistication. She had to agree, the others boys she knew were just that, little boys, compared to Phillipe. They were still in the crude joke, hair pulling stage of adolescence and any attempts to show attention to girls were awkward and silly. Phillipe alone stood out. Was he, she wondered, someone so special that, she would indeed, as he had chided, be missing a once in a lifetime opportunity if she refused?

Despite her inner desires, she thought the matter settled, for her parents seldom went out without her for more than dinner or a movie. They now trusted her without a baby sitter, but she didn't want to be rushed, not with Phillipe. She wanted the romanticism as well as the eroticism. The one thing she had decided was that, for her, there would be no hurried, awkward encounter as the older girls had described. So, despite her tortured sensual urges, she felt as if circumstances had settled the matter for her. There was simply no opportunity.