Chapter 18

It must have been two or three in the morning. Even after waking, and after Carol returned from a trip to the bathroom, they did not speak. She got right on top of Ryan as he lay on his back, remembering the revelation that tender position had been with Dex. It was no less thrilling with Ryan, and she soon returned to a contented sleep.

Her next conscious moment found her still atop him, but with his reenergized cock pressing against her thigh. Not sure if he was awake, she raised her bottom enough to reach between them and position him at her opening. Then, centimeter by centimeter, she wriggled and pushed to take him into herself. In the first watery light of the day, she saw his eyes open, looking at her face. She kissed him, then settled back down atop him. His morning erection was buried within her, but neither felt the need to move or to increase the stimulation.

She dozed, and perhaps he did. When she awoke again, she did feel the need, and began moving back and forth on his still-engorged manhood. This time, he took her face in both hands and kissed her with feeling. As she moved, her nipples had been rubbing against his chest. With her head up for the kiss, there was just room his hand to slip between them, and he took a nipple in his fingers.

Both confused and elated at his seeming devotion to her breasts, she was still able to revel in the sensations. To her, they had always been her least attractive feature, but he seemed completely unconcerned with their size. She did have large, super-sensitive nipples, and he was playing them like a concert pianist.

Eager for even more, she pushed up on her arms, breaking the kiss, but making room for even better attention to her breasts. Instead, he turned his other hand over and slid his middle finger down over clit, almost causing her to come off of him with the initial jolt.

How did he do this? It had never been difficult for her to come, but she was no hair-trigger, either. Yet, in barely a minute, he had her panting and struggling to control her arms. It was only two or three minutes later that she crashed into an orgasm, again almost expelling him as she lost control.

He had anticipated her, though, and pulled his hands from between them, to her initial consternation. When he quickly took an ass cheek firmly in each hand and began thrusting upward into her, almost violently, her brief disappointment vanished. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and let him manhandle her. He was using her body to get himself off, and it was absolutely wonderful. Having just started her orgasm when he began his pounding, she was kept at a very high level of stimulation by his motions and by the sheer eroticism of their union.

Ryan was now grunting unashamedly with each upward thrust, his ass hardly touching the bed as he put all of his leg and back muscles into the motion. She was on top, but there was no doubt in either of their minds that he was taking her forcefully. If she could have imagined how it would feel, she would have begged him to do it. At the moment, her capability was limited to whimpers, gasps, and groans. Except for her stranglehold on his neck, her body was completely at his mercy.

Few things are more erotic to a man than a highly responsive woman. In Ryan's experience, Carol set a new standard for unrestrained enjoyment of what he did with her. Having given up hope of finding a woman with the capacity to love the way he pictured it, she made him rethink the possibilities. Right now, all he knew for sure was the scope of her sexual appetite, and it was voracious. That definitely was not a bad thing. They seemed compatible at the personal level, as well, but that would take more time to verify.

She certainly was not a woman he would have picked out of a crowd to pursue. She was no Chelly in the looks department, though she was attractive in her own way. That lovely pussy had captivated him when she met him naked at the door for their first date. Now, he was finding out that it was even more impressive as it sucked on him like another mouth. Mouth! He hadn't gotten his mouth on her pussy yet, something he greatly enjoyed. They would have to schedule another...

The time for musing ending abruptly, as Carol's pussy/mouth began fluttering and rippling around his cock. Whether another orgasm or the continuation of her first one, he neither knew nor cared. That she was propelling him rapidly to the brink, he cared very much. Once again, the event itself was so intense that the aftermath became very unclear, with both of them dozing or collapsing.

Because Carson liked to be at work early, Ryan had to be up and about to relieve him. He and Carol showered together. It was tender, but not prolonged. She was sipping coffee and looking downcast when he finished shaving and dressing, and joined her in the kitchen. He asked her what was wrong.

"I think maybe last night was a big mistake. I would have been better off not knowing something like that was possible."

"Oh, and why would you have been better off?" he asked.

"Because I would not have been as disappointed when I never found it again."

He knew he had better handle this one carefully. "Carol, we found it together. Believe me, I have never felt anything like that, either. Why can't we keep on finding it together?"

"I mean, I want that all the time. Forever. I'm a plain-looking divorcee with a teenaged daughter, no education, and no skills. And I'm older than you. You and me together just doesn't seem possible."

Pulling a chair beside her and hugging her, he told her "I can say with certainty that we are compatible sexually. We seem to get along other ways, as well. Would you do me the honor of being my live-in partner on the Transformations retreat? Can we just learn about each other, make love, and get to be friends until after that? Then we can decide what happens next."

"You... you mean you think there is a chance?"

"Carol, my history with relationships is only a little better than yours. I've been looking for someone for a long time. I don't care about any of the things you mentioned, except Jessica."

"Huh?"

"She looks so damned much like her mother, I don't know if I could keep my hands off of her."

That earned him a playfully indignant swat and a giggle, then she got serious again. "God, I didn't bring any makeup with me, and I couldn't put my panties back on. How can you even think about living with me when I look like this?"

"Maybe I just see other things than what you are worried about." That brought tears to her eyes, but he continued. "Come with me to meet Fran. You can drive my truck home later."

"Looking like I do, you want me to meet your friend?"

"Hey, she probably won't have any clothes on, and she will look just as well-fucked as you do. Don't worry about it."

Ryan had been right about Fran, and it helped greatly to relax Carol. As soon as Ryan left them alone, she apologized for her appearance, and explained why no makeup.

"So you're working at Transformations, huh?" Fran asked. When Carol nodded, she told her "Julia's my college roommate and best friend. Why don't you take your clothes off, and we'll talk like real buddies?"

Unsure whether to blush or giggle, Carol did undress, and tried not to feel intimidated by the older woman's body. After a long, appraising look, Fran told her "You've got the kind of body that can age well."

"I do?"

"Yup. Your legs will be firm and smooth when you're eighty. If you watch your weight and your posture, you can walk like Hepburn around the old folks home." That brought an instant giggle. "And your pussy! In my former life, I would have done you in an instant."

"Former life?"

"Oh, that's right. Ryan would not have told you about that, would he? Until shortly after I met Ryan, I was a life-long lesbian. Your pussy definitely looks delicious. Oh, don't worry. I'm seriously into cock nowadays. I assume he at least told you about Carson and me." Carol nodded, not quite sure what to say.

"Well, Ryan and I have talked about you a lot. You're one lucky girl, you know."

"Lucky?"

"Unless you get stupid a dump him, he's yours. Say, you don't mind that he's a nurse, do you?"

"Of course not. I think it's great, especially since it's why we met. But I can't believe he's seriously interested in me," Carol objected.

"Oh? And why not?"

"We're not in the same league. He's a professional, and I skipped college for motherhood. I'm older, and I have a teenaged daughter. He's a hunk, and I'm pretty plain."

"And... ?"

"Well... isn't that enough?"

"I still haven't heard anything that would matter to Ryan," Fran stated, leaving Carol speechless. "Look, Carol, we just met, but I know quite a bit about you. You settled for the booby prize once, probably without even realizing it. Now you've got a chance for the gold. If you blow it, I'll kick your ass! Know why? Because it would hurt Ryan to lose you, that's why."

"I'll tell you a secret," Fran said. "If it had not been for Carson, I would have fucked Ryan. He would have been my first man in more years than you've lived. As for all that stuff you're so worried about, it's bullshit. First off, there's nothing wrong with your looks. If you want, I'll refer you to a beauty consultant who will help you look even better. She's even built like you, so she's knows what she's about."

"As far as Jessica, that's a definite plus for Ryan. You should hear him go on about her. And college. It's never too late, and I can tell you've got the brains for it. Now, what else would keep you from being Mrs. Herwalt?"

"Mrs. Herwalt? I haven't dared even think about that. I met him four days ago, for God's sake."

"Carol, look me in the eye. If Ryan asked you to marry him right now, what would you say?"

"YES! YES! YES!"

"See. You're plenty smart enough for college. Look, I'm a lawyer. In my business, half of my success is because of what people think I am - my image. I've made them think I'm an ice-cold, take-no-prisoners bitch who eats stupid men for lunch. They don't know I turn into a puddle of emotions when Carson touches my pussy."

"I'm enough older than you to give advice, am I not?" Carol nodded, almost giggling. "Then, start acting like Mrs. Herwalt. Act like he's desperately in love with you. Act like he thinks you're the sexiest woman on earth. Act like he's so proud of you he can't stand it. Act like you're a beauty contestant - or a stripper, if you prefer. I guarantee you, people will start looking at you differently, and so will you. It won't make any difference to Ryan, because he already sees you like that. It'll just make sure he never changes his mind."

The two women sat and talked for another hour before Fran again jolted Carol. "It never hurts to marry a man who is going to be rich, either. I only mention that because I don't believe you even thought of it."

"Rich? He's a nurse. Transformations pays well, but not that well."

"Nuvo Med is going to make Ryan, Carson, and myself some serious money. I'm sure of it."

Mark had a study hall that Lindsey was not in. It was only the day after he had talked to Julia, so when the monitor called his name, he did not make a connection. He was handed a slip to report to the school counselor's office, and there was Julia in one of the two consultation rooms.

"Mark, I'm sorry we couldn't do more about your problem yesterday. I needed to do some thinking and talk to some people first. Now, tell me how you feel about Transformations and your job there."

He spoke honestly about the opportunity, the impact on his family, and his eagerness to start helping the women. Then Julia asked "Does Lindsey know how you feel?"

"Of course. Ever since Mom brought her home when I was naked, she's known about everything that was going on. Eric and Trish are her close friends, too."

"Fine. Now, Mark, if you quit Transformations, how will Lindsey feel?"

"I think she'll feel like a barrier between us has been removed."

"Hmmmm. And how will you feel?"

"Relieved that it's not coming between us any more."

"Will you be happy to be out of it?"

"Well, no. But it will be worth it for Lindsey."

"Will she think you're happy or sad to have left?"

"She'll... Oh shit! Oops, sorry! I never thought of that. She'll feel responsible."

"She certainly will," Julia assured him, "and what will that do to your relationship?"

"It... God, there'll still be a barrier, won't there. But that means there's no way out!" he almost wailed.

"Yes, there is, Mark. But the only way out is if Lindsey changes. She has to get rid of her hangups, be willing to strip for you, and join the Transformations team."

"But... but can she do that?" he asked, doubt dripping from his voice.

"She did it once, didn't she?" Julia reminded him.

"But hugs and kisses and 'I love yous' are a lot easier than going naked."

"Maybe, but the motivation is the same. Mark, she loves you deeply. That love was strong enough to overcome one set of hangups. We have to believe it can hurdle the others, as well. You were right, Mark, there is no other way out."

"I'm not just saying this to keep an employee, Mark. Since quitting won't ensure your relationship, you have to be true to yourself. Do everything else you can to help Lindsey along, but do not change who you are and what you want for yourself."

"I'm going to do something that I believe will help move Lindsey along," Julia told him. "I'm not going to tell you what it is because I want you to be genuinely excited when you hear about it."

"There is one thing you can do, Mark, that will help as much as anything. Smother her with love and support. Make sure everyone else does, as well. We will have done everything we can to help her change, and I believe it will work."

"The downside is too depressing to think about, anyway," Mark said quietly as they parted.

That evening at supper, another messenger arrived, this time with an envelope for Lindsey. As she read the letter, a mixture of relief, excitement, and renewed concern crossed her face. She handed the letter to Norma without saying anything. Norma read it out loud.

"It's addressed to Carla, Lindsey, Harv, Jeanine, and Len. It says:'

'You are all aware of the importance we place on family unity for our employees. We realize that several of our families have living arrangements that include people not in their immediate families. Yet, it is just as important that working at Transformations not cause any problems with anyone our employees live with.'

'With that in mind, we want to invite all of you to join us on our retreat over Thanksgiving. We apologize for the delay in including you, and we sincerely hope that you can arrange to accompany your families.'

Norma gave Lindsey an enthusiastic hug, just barely beating Becks and Tori to her. Paul and Mark just clapped and beamed. When the women released her, Mark unashamedly pulled Lindsey up into a heated hug and kiss. "I'm so happy you will be with me!" He told her. "It wouldn't have been right without you."

"I'm happy, too," she replied. "I was dreading having you away that long."

Mark had seen her expression as she read the letter. He knew the major struggle was still raging inside her. Julia once again had been brilliant. There was no way to ensure that Lindsey would join Transformations, but she had set everything in motion that she possibly could.

No one but Julia and Frank knew the deliberation that went on before the letter went out. Julia had immediately decided that Lindsey should be invited to the retreat. She was afraid, though, that an invitation addressed to just her would seem too obvious. That prompted the multiple addressees. Carla was a no brainer, and they wondered why she was not included in the first place. Jeanine, Len, and Harv were tougher decisions.

Harv was not a family member, nor even a co-resident. It did appear certain that he would be Eric's step-father before too long, and he was included. Though Carol and Jessica were living with Jeanine and Len, that was quite obviously a temporary situation, even before Carol's romance with Ryan became known.

Julia called Carol and asked her whether it was appropriate. The response she got was interesting. Carol thought that they would refuse. However, if they happened to go, it could dramatically change their staid relationship. She pled with Julia to include them. She felt it was a gift that would help repay their kindness in taking her in.

Once it was all decided, Julia was happy to have a long list of names. It should remove any suspicion from Lindsey that she was targeted.

Carla was in tears of joy when her letter came. She had checked her bank account, and was about to call Julia to see if she could come along if she paid her own way.

As a matter of fact, Carla had given serious thought to quitting her job and joining Transformations. Every one of the people she met had impressed her, and it would be nice to work with her sister and her nephew. But the cautious streak ran more deeply in Carla than in the others. Impressive as it sounded, Transformations was still a risk, one she was not ready to take.

Jeanine and Len did not greet the letter with the same enthusiasm as Lindsey and Carla at all. Len very carefully kept a stone face and said nothing. Inside, he was torn. The loyal husband part of him knew he should respond with indignation on behalf of Jeanine, as that would surely be her reaction. Another part of him, led by the part between his legs, fairly drooled at the prospect of the undreamed-of opportunity.

Len had been brought up in the same kind of environment as his wife, an environment where modesty was a most treasured virtue. They loved each other dearly, and while unimaginative, the sex between them was of normal frequency, and it was good. Talking about sex, though, was a different matter, and exposing the body was just not done.

To say Carol's undressing had been a shock and a disruption was putting it mildly. Only their love for her and their grief at what she had gone through made them accept it. Had they known about the Waxmans entertaining them naked, they most certainly would not have gone to dinner.

When the second invitation came along, it was strange. Almost simultaneously they agreed, as if the barrier had been removed and there was nothing more to protect. Seeing Carol, then Julia, then Trish had triggered urges in Len that he had successfully ignored since puberty. The thought of the Transformations women, plus who knew how many strangers, cavorting naked in the sun was something he wanted to see more than he would ever admit.

Jeanine was not fighting urges as much as guilt. Over and over, she asked herself how she had ended up in this situation. Seeing her daughter naked in front of her husband had shaken her to the core. She had expected something truly terrible to happen. But Carol was just... naked... and life went on. Then that next incredible night! Why she had not fled that huge house she would never know, but once again, nothing terrible happened. They were just... naked. Life, dinner, and conversation just went on.

Jeanine's guilt had nothing to do with being willing to see naked people. It was because of what she had withheld from her sweet, loving Len all those years. He had never asked to see more of her, but she could tell the sight of Carol and the others affected him.

In a move that was totally unpredictable, Jeanine told Len "Things are going so well for Carol. I think we should support her and go on the retreat."

The whole group assembled one by one in the lounge at the charter terminal right after school on the Tuesday before thanksgiving. Mark was in a joking mood carrying a toothbrush around and making sure everyone saw it. To the inevitable question 'What's that for?', he would respond "That's my luggage." By the fourth or fifth questioner, Tori was beside him, warning everyone not to egg him on.

The general mood was upbeat, as most were looking forward to a trip they could only have dreamed of. Beth Berg was almost in tears, still unable to believe she was getting the chance to go. She thanked Julia and Frank at least three times.

One minor surprise passenger was Yvonne Torres, the nutritionist. Gretchen, with Andy's help, and recently Carol, had spent a lot of time with her, but she had not participated in any of the dinners. The males in the group were trying not to drool openly at the prospect of beauties like Shannon, Julia, and Yvonne naked in meetings with them. Not that the other women weren't attractive, but those three were traffic-stoppers for sure.

Three of the non-employee teenaged girls were each going through some struggles of their own. Becks and Jessica were wondering how they would feel in swimsuits when everyone else was naked, neither one being ready to strip. Lindsey, while thrilled at the chance to go along, was still in conflict between her desire to be one of the team and her phobia of undressing. None of the three showed any outward signs of stress, and Lindsey clung to Mark in a very loving and possessive manner.

To Janie Torvold, undressing was not that big a deal, although having non-family see her made her just a little nervous. She had not packed a swimsuit. Beth was not struggling either, except to keep her clothes on until they arrived at the resort. She had proclaimed to her family that clothes were not an option for her, and she had packed to enforce that on herself.

Carol and Ryan acted like a couple deeply in love. They had the same air of anticipation as most of the others, but there was always an awareness of where the other was and what they were doing.

At last, the group of twenty-six was airborne. Once they were cruising, Frank addressed them. "I hope you are all looking forward to this as much as I am. We've done everything we can to make this a true vacation, as well as a working session. We will hold meetings and workshops only during the hottest part of the day. We will try to limit them to three hours."

"Here is a list of cottage assignments. I think you will find that 'villa' might be a better term than 'cottage'. We are all grouped together at one end of the complex, closest to the open beach."

"The management of the resort has made some policy changes just for us. Ordinarily, they require genitals covered in the dining room. Because we are trying to give you a feel of our clients' lives, we want you to do everything naked."

"As I mentioned in the letter, the resort is normally adults-only. They notified their other guests, and there may be a number of other children and teenagers there. How many of them will be clothed, I do not know."

"We are using seven of the twenty cottages on the resort. In addition, there are twenty rooms in the main building. There will be quite a few people there. Most of them, as I told you in the letter, will be from Germany and the Netherlands. Don't be afraid to mingle and make friends. Now, Julia has just a few words."

"Thank you, Frank, and welcome, everyone. It is impressive that every single person invited is with us. First of all, I just want to reinforce the nudity requirement for employees. Please, undress as soon as you get to your cottage, and stay undressed until we leave the resort."

"Second, those of you who are not employees, please do not feel pressured to be naked. I am certain there will be many other guests who will be clothed."

The flight was over six hours, and a nice meal had been catered aboard. It was just the start of the first-class treatment they would all revel in for the next six days.

The Ventris could certainly see what Frank meant when he said 'villa' rather than cottage. Although just one story, their place was spacious. It had a large common room with a small kitchen. The master suite had a king bed and its own bath, plus a sitting area. The other two bedrooms each had two queen beds, and there was a spacious common bathroom. A veranda surrounded three sides.

Tori had spun off incredible amounts of energy on the trip, and had totally run out on the bus ride from the airport. Mark, predictably, was carrying her, and automatically put her on one of the beds in 'his' room. Even though it was after midnight, everyone wanted to see their surroundings, and there was almost a rush to get to the beach. It was Norma who reminded her men they were supposed to strip.

After a half hour enjoying the play of the moonlight on the surf and visiting with several of the others who had the same idea, the Ventris showered and went to bed. Lindsey shared a room with Becks.

It was fully light, but still very early when Mark felt someone gently shaking his shoulder. He looked up to see Lindsey with a finger over her lips to shush him. Then, she tossed back the sheet and took him by the hand, leaving no doubt he was to get up.

She had seen him hard before, but it still bothered him that he had a morning erection. She did not seem to notice, acting almost frantic to get him up. When he was on his feet, she opened the bedroom door, shushed him again, and led him to the outside door.

He had to pee, and whispered for her to wait. She just shook her head and pulled him harder toward the door. Seeing how adorable she looked with her panties peeking out from under the T-shirt she wore, he decided anything else could wait. He was just waking enough to wonder what was going on, but was not about to argue with her, still being very sensitive to her internal struggle.

Outside the cottage, she looked around quickly then headed for the beach, hardly fifty yards away. As they rounded a large, thick clump of trees on the way, she spoke for the first time. "Pee there if you have to," pointedly turning her back. By the time they had gotten outside, he had softened quite a bit, and he really did have to go, so he used the trees as she had suggested.

When they reached the water's edge, there was no one in sight in either direction, and she turned to face him, holding out her arms. "Take them off for me, Mark. I just can't do it."

"Take what off?" he asked, obviously still partly asleep.

"My clothes, Mark. I want you to be the first to see me naked."

"Lindsey, you don't have to do this."

"Yes, I do. I think you know how it has been tearing me up. Now do it, please, before I lose my nerve," she pled.

Mark looked her in the eyes and saw steely determination mixed with love. Maybe it was lust, maybe it was joy at her victory, but whatever his reason, he did what she said. Taking the bottom of her T-shirt, he lifted it up and over her head. As it cleared her hands, he could see her tremble, but she kept her arms stretched upward, looking right in his eyes. This time, he saw a little fear softening the determination.

He wanted to say something to reassure her, but he sensed her resolve was limited. This time, it was for her sake, and not just selfishness as he knelt in front of her and quickly pulled off her panties. He did not take time to stare, and said nothing. If she had been watching, his reenergized cock would have told her enough. Getting to his feet, he switched roles, taking her hand and leading her up the beach, away from the main complex of the resort. Her clothes were left where he had dropped them.

As they walked, he could feel her trembling with the effort not to cover up, not to dash back to her clothes in a panic. With each step, though, she relaxed a little more. When she finally gave his hand a squeeze and hugged his arm closer to her, he thought it safe to speak.

"Lindsey, you are so beautiful. I am so thrilled you did this, but are you sure it is right?"

"Mark, Honey," she replied, using the affectionate name for the first time he could remember, "I still don't know if it's right for me to be naked. Everything I've been taught tells me it's wrong, wrong, wrong. But the people who have been telling me what's right and what's wrong all my life don't love me, at least not how I understand love."

"Everything I feel tells me you are the most right thing in my life: you and your family and my friends here. And Transformations is right. And Doggerel is right. What you give me is real love. You love me for me, not what I do or don't do."

"I don't know why, but all my 'right' people end up naked. When I go to the Ballards', I'm the only one who needs to wear a suit in the hot tub. Just look at the people who have been so good to me, who have shown me real love. Except for Jenny, Amy, and Sonja, they were all on that plane last night. They won't have clothes on today."

"More than anything, Honey, I have to be be a real part of your life. I can't stand those clothes keeping us apart any longer. If you had gone to your first meeting, and I had to stay with the others, it would have killed me."

"Would that have been worse than undressing?" he asked gently.

"Until now, I didn't know, but now I do know. This is not as bad as I thought. I've wanted you to see me for so long! It's seemed like the one thing that kept us from being as close as I dreamed about."