Chapter 70

I wished we never said or sort-of planned that we might try oral as I let it hang over my head in worry. A penis in my mouth... GOD! Just a few days ago I would have assured you I would never do such a thing, and him doing oral on me never crossed my mind. I was walking in a haze and nearly walked into a woman on the beach. I sidestepped her and she moved in the same direction and I was about to push at her, as it seemed she was blocking me intentionally and I was in no mood.

"Hey," I said before I stopped and looked to see a well-built beautiful woman wearing the exact same bikini I was. It was one I thought was pretty exclusive having paid almost $90 for it at a local designers boutique.

She smiled at me and asked, "Were you told this was an exclusive offering?"

"Yes, I was and I paid way too much for it." I answered.

"Sara Byrdie's on Lark in Albany?" She asked.

"Yes, the little bitch is a liar."

We both laughed at being taken in by the shopkeeper in the artsy section of New York's Capital.

"I'm Bailey and I can say you fill out and flatter that bikini quite well. I'm sure we have a lot of guys staring at us right now. Except for the hair, we could be sisters, but my red hair is not my natural."

"Thanks, my name is Lucy and if my Mom knew how much I paid for this, or even knew I had it, I would be in trouble."

"You have to answer to your Mom? How old are you?" Bailey asked tipping her head and re-evaluating me.

"I'm 16, I know I look older."

"I guess you do, I don't even want you here when my boyfriend comes back."

"Oh please Bailey, you're stunning, and I'm sure your boyfriend isn't looking."

"Never trust a man when other good looking women are around, especially dressed like you, even though you have great taste." She said chuckling.

"Ummm, you might think I'm awful for asking this but I'll probably never see you again, I have something bothering me and I could use your advise, seeing as how we both have great taste." I said hoping my little joke might open things up with this total stranger, with whom she had nothing invested. "I met a guy here this week and I really, REALLY like him and we actually live fairly close when we go home from here. I'm not very experienced with sex, but sleeping with him is out of the question. Should I try to give him oral sex to remember me by?"

"Holy Shit Lucy, you aren't shy are you? Have you ever done it before?"

"No, it sounds sort of scary, but it's not out of the question." I shamefully admitted.

"It's not disgusting, it's actually pretty sexy, but if you have bad vibes about it, don't. You'll know if it's right. I can never picture myself doing it, but I do it and enjoy it. At 16, I don't know. I DO know you shouldn't be screwing. Don't be stupid. Now you know too much about me and I'm not the one to give you advice. I'll go back to my towel and forget I ever saw you. Good luck and remember that the "happy ending" is his, not yours, until you get used to the taste." Bailey said and she walked away between a couple umbrellas and lay down on a towel.

I continued walking to our spot and laid out for more sun. Only Jess was there at the time.

"You really like him, don't you?"

"Yes, pretty much. He turns 18 pretty soon and can drive to see me. I don't really want or need a steady boyfriend, but he's pretty special. Leaving Saturday morning will cure a lot of my questions and heartaches." I said putting on sunglasses to hide my tears welling up.

I think Jess told the other three I was a little sensitive about leaving and not seeing Phineas anymore, at least for a while because, the rest of the day they never brought it up, even when I began to look out the window at 6:25 to see if he was coming.

Tonight would be the next to last night I would be with Phineas and I was thinking too far ahead. I should just enjoy today, but that's the analytical side of me, anticipate the inevitable. I looked in the hall mirror and I hated my eyes. The fact I had been crying more than once this afternoon left them a little puffy. I hurried back to my cabin to put a little make-up on to cover. When I came back in Coach Reynolds and Phineas were talking at the door and Coach was laughing, that was a good sign.

"Lucy, someone's here to pick-up Lucille, can you help him?" He said giving me a Daddy hug around the shoulder.

"I don't expect you out until 10 getting ice cream, I've already told Phineas that there are no cars tonight, no side trips. Not much past 9, OK kids? Keep me and yourselves out of trouble." He said holding the door open for us.

"Thanks Mr. Reynolds. You have nothing to worry about." Phineas said.

The grin across my face was at least a half-foot wider than my head as we walked away. I was with Phineas and we could walk out in the light. As soon as that thought came, I remembered what he wanted to see in full light, me naked. I blushed at the thought and looked to him.

"What is it?" He wondered.

"So you want me to do a strip for you at your house? I just remembered you said that today. What a nasty boy. Good thing Coach Reynolds doesn't know that." I scolded him.

"Is the fact I said that bothering you?"

"No, I can't wait to show you, because you're showing me too." I said with a devilish grin.

I couldn't believe Phineas blushed at my words as well, but we both got a chuckle. We had plenty of laughs all the way to the Scoop Deck and were amazed at how long the line was once we got there. We must have changed our minds as to what flavor we wanted a dozen times waiting and looking at the flavor board in the tree out front. He got a Maine flavor; Indian Pudding and I got Rum Raisin. We found a picnic table in the back and watched each other each eat and beat the drips. Once my cone got to where I could fit the whole scoop in my mouth I was happy. I loved licking a cone slow to enjoy it, plus I avoided brain freeze, which comes easy for me. I was having a great time until I noticed Phineas looking at me funny as I ate and it hit me that he was watching me eat with sexy thoughts. Did he think I was giving him a preview of my plans for later?

"Get your dirty mind out of here Phineas Halsey!" I said turning around quickly away from his gaze, totally mortified.

"What? YOU were putting on the show for me weren't you? I'm innocent!" He said still laughing.

I wasn't laughing. I was pissed! I was eating a hard dip cone the way I always do and if he found it erotic, HE had the dirty mind, not me. All I could think of were those slutty girls at school who hang on the sports teams, servicing the players to be popular. I WAS NOT one of them and to be thought of in that sense made me ill and very disappointed in him. Our first night together I worried I ate my cone too sexy and blamed my own dirty, naughty mind. But, he was flagrant in what he was thinking here.

I spun and knelt right on the table bench and bent to look him square in the face across the table.

"I'm not one of your little blowjob girls. I have shame and tact and don't like to be treated like a little harlot. I hurt and cried about missing you this afternoon, but not to be treated like this." I said spinning back around and looking the other way on the bench noticing the attention I drew from others, but I didn't care; he made me feel cheap.

Phineas was speechless. He had absolutely no defense. He got up from his side of the bench and came around and stood in front of me to squat down.

"I'm so sorry Lucille; I really thought you were doing that for my benefit and I really WAS surprised that you would do something so blatant. It was my mind getting ahead of myself, thinking too much. I don't consider you to be anything like ANY girl I've ever been with. If we live to be a hundred and never see each other again, I'll always remember you and the few nights we've spent impassioned together. If you decide I just made a mistake so stupid you can't forgive me I'll understand, but have regrets forever. You are the brightest and most honest and sensual person I've ever met. I'm truly sorry and don't want to lose the connection our hearts have made." Phineas said pouring out his heart.

I was still quite mad and not convinced of his apology. I was looking at the balance sheet of what I was giving up and risking if I just forgot about what just happened. I was not satisfied. I got this thought in my head that I was just his "penis pleasure" and I couldn't lose it. I was still so mad I couldn't even cry, and believe me I wanted too.

"Come on, I'll walk you back." He said extending his hand.

"I can walk back alone." I said as my first words to him after his apology.

"No you can't. Mr. Reynolds entrusted you to me and I will deliver you back whether you're pissed at me or not. I may be a jerk, but I'm a responsible one. Walk ten feet behind me or in front of me, but I'm bringing you home."

I took the rest of my ice cream and got up and threw it away, now a melting mess anyway, and started walking back the way we came. Phineas was behind me hustling to keep up, as I was mad and really moving.

"Do you really think I put you in that class? Haven't I proved how special I think you are?" He yelled loud enough for me to hear.

All I could think of were those girls hanging out by the busses after sports trips, especially when we played double headers, Girls softball, then boys baseball vs. the other schools teams. They were disgusting tramps and seemed to be proud of it, but the boys lapped it right up. There was one in particular all decked out as a "goth" chick with studs in her nose and tongue that bragged about doing the whole team and laughed when we told her she was disgusting. Phineas looked at me like I was that girl.

"Do you really think I put you in that class? Haven't I proved how special I think you are?" He yelled again.

I stopped and turned around and yelled back. "I saw how you looked at me and I've seen it before. You made my skin crawl. I'm just a summer version of your high school whores to fill your penis pleasure."

"YOU ARE NOT! YOU ARE NOT!" He yelled spitting with anger as he ran towards me. "I DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE! I admit I picked up anything that winked at me, up until the teacher. I got used and I'm not that way GODDAMMIT!"

When he finished his tirade he was almost 2 or 3 feet away from me, but I turned and kept walking. I was still mortified and betrayed.

"Please talk to me and listen to me. You're tearing my heart apart and I know you don't want to hurt me, just as bad as I would never hurt you. I want to make you happy." He yelled from about 10 feet.

"Please talk to me and listen to me. You're tearing my heart apart and I know you don't want to hurt me, just as bad as I would never hurt you. I want to make you happy." He yelled again and I could tell he was further back.

When he yelled it the third time I could tell he was hoarse and almost screaming it out. I turned and he was on his knees. He was begging or just giving up, Icouldn't really tell but somehow it got to me. I started to walk back. I could see I was hurting him, and he was right, it DID hurt me to see him hurt. I was glad he wasn't crying, somehow that made it more sincere. I thought the falling to his knees was drama, but he probably never saw a woman so pissed off and had to do something to make an impression.

"Lucille, if I hurt you by what I assumed, I am so sorry. We TALKED about that maybe happening and I know you were thinking about it. I was thinking of it too and I stupidly assumed that was how you were telling me we might make love tonight." He said from his knees.

I put out my hand and pulled him when he clasped it to stand up.

"When did you think it went from "getting naughty" to making love?" I asked him.

"Last night. It was pretty intense and we had too many spontaneous things happen for us to be just players at night. You denied it to yourself until last night, and so did I. From the first day you know there was spark between us. You thought I was too slick, you thought I was a player, but you wanted to "get naughty" and you used me for that. But, I knew, just as you did that we had a connection. Don't let it end on a big misunderstanding. I wouldn't hurt you. I want to make you happy. I WOULD NOT HURT YOU."

He had me pegged from the start and he could have played it to his advantage and he didn't. He always stopped when I asked him to stop and he always held true to the promise I made him make when he could have broken it at my instruction. I had misread him earlier and maybe should have apologized to him too.

"Oh Phineas, with all the things we could have gotten into trouble with all week how did we get here to have our first fight?" I asked.

"Our first fight? Where have you been? We fought at the dance when you thought I sat outside your window and you asked about condoms. I never went out with anyone who actually listened to what I said and analyzed the words. You're smart and you've called me out a dozen times on things I've said. So listen, I'm sorry for being so blatant and lewd about your eating an ice cream cone. It was not respectful at all and I should have realized that you wouldn't put on such a show for me." He said to me in a manner that I knew was heartfelt.

I was satisfied that he knew why he was wrong, but I was also aware that I should have said something while I was eating when I first noticed his interest. But out of this whole thing that really tweaked my strings, pissed me off and made me stand up for myself, I did come to few realizations.

I had self-respect and could stick up for myself. Despite that, I could be the whore that men want behind closed doors as long as we had feelings for each other, I got respect in public and in his heart. Being that whore behind closed doors was fun for me too.

My realizations my seem a little shallow, but remember I was only 16.

He was still looking at me waiting for my reaction as I thought it all through.