Chapter 23

The fact that Selena had "dreamt" of Joe making love to her didn't quell her urge to be with him, talk with him, and make love to him again and again. Even the morning after tingle between her legs didn't take away from the fact she had not seen him all week.

As she and Lucy sipped coffee in the dorm that Saturday and talked of the upcoming week of studies and upcoming exams Joe called for his love.

"Hello Lover"

"Oh, Please tell me you're coming home this weekend."

"Wow! Not even a hello?"

"Well, we were just talking about you and how much I missed you over our coffee."

"We? Our? Have I been replaced?"

"Never!! I'm with Lucy. She took me out last night and made me drink in excess and we just got up about a half hour ago."

"Oh, she MADE you drink, huh? Do we have a little hangover today?"

"No not really. She fixed me up with her prevent cure; lots of water and Vitamin B. I guess it worked."

"That's a pretty sure one if you can remember to do it. Next time try adding a couple aspirins too."

"Well, I'm sure you didn't call me to talk about hangovers. What's up?"

"Listen, this project is getting the best of me, but we have it under control. I'm bringing all but one crew up here and I've put almost everything else on hold at Johnson Construction. I can come in over spec and under budget and be on schedule, but I'm going to be here until I hand it over to the Government Core of Engineers. If we fall a day or two behind I can make it up. But I have to deal with penaltys for not making schedule and I could lose all the profit from this. If we fall a day behind in reality we'll lose half the ice cream on the cone. Two days behind I just break even. Inside the 2 weeks, starting Monday, if I get behind 3 days, I'll lose the project. I just can't leave. (sigh)"

Tears started to flow down Selenas cheeks.

"I know you're working as hard as you can and I know you want to be here. I want to be real strong for you and not cry, but I can't help it. I miss you so much, plus I worry about you. But, you know what's best for the company and our future."

"A lot of this DOES have to do with us, retiring and being together. If we pull this off it solidifies us as a company with the government bid process. Nobody wanted this job, but I had the right guy to do the headwork. When we go to New York we'll be able to turn 51% of the company to the employees and start selling percentages of our share every quarter. With current contracts and promise of more government bids and first refusal on maintenance of this one, we should make our 49% liquid with in 3 years. That is our retirement guarantee. We can pull it off without that, but we have to be insured of being comfortable if the market goes south."

"Sounds like you really put the pencil to this in the last couple days."

"I haven't slept much trying to insure that you and I are set to live our lives together with no work or worries. It all works out. My lawyers called me with their figures this morning after I faxed them my proposals on Thursday night."

"How do you find the time to do all this?"

"I told you I haven't slept much, but the thought of you and I being together all day every day for the rest of our lives excites me. The linchpin of the whole deal is this project. Are you with me?"

"Of course! I don't have to like the circumstances, but I like your reasons."

"Now, another thing. I know you're studies are heavy, but do you think you can be at the house for an Overseas Telex tonight? I've got about 800,000 shares of three different Japanese stocks I've been riding almost 30 days. That's a long time for me to hold a penny stock, but their price hadn't changed by the guidelines I left our broker. My fellow on the floor over there sees big movement in a fourth stock I'm holding and we think it's movement will effect the other 3 I'm sitting on. He thinks I should hold the 3 and sell the other, or sell the 3 and hold the fourth. Use your best judgment. I've lifted the portfolios from the baby sitter broker and he knows you will be handling them. I trust whatever decision you make. Dollar wise, you can't lose too big either way, but I'm sure you will steer it right. Any problem?"

"I can handle that a lot better than being without you. (pout)"

"I know you can. I have to run. When you have questions about the purchase or sale, call my guy on the floor, he will make the move for you, anyway. His number is in the big book on my desk. Phonetically his name is Slim Beepo and that's how it's listed. His name is Chielm Beupour, but it sounds like Slim Beepo and they all know him that way. You won't have a problem finding him."

"I'll stay there tonight. Maybe I'll ask Lucy to stay with me and we can have a slumber party. I'll leave popcorn all over the house with pillow feathers everywhere."

"You really want a spanking, don't you? (laughs)"

"I'll go over your knee, but not for a spanking. (laughs)"

"Before you get me too excited, I better go. I'm half hour late to the site. I love you with all my heart. I won't be able to call until Monday, either before classes or on your lunch if you're in your dorm, OK?"

"I love you! If I don't hear from you in the morning, I'll come back here during lunch. I love you, I love you, (kisses into the phone repeatedly).

Selena looked at Lucy with a brave face, proud that she was left a big decision and he trusted her savvy to make the right move. But before she could tell her, her eyes welled with tears.

"Counting today, he won't be home for 17 days!" She wept. "I know he's safe on that site, but I still worry about him. He's up half the night trying to figure our retirement plan and the transfer of the company. Oh shit, I don't want to bother you with my troubles."

"Selena, that's what friends are for. Come on, let loose. What do you mean retirement? Tell me what's bothering you." Lucy said as she stood and rubbed her shoulders.

"God Lucy. You know after I fulfill my obligation to Wall Street Global, Joe and I retire. We should be married by then, but we won't ever need to work. We're pretty much set now, except I'm not his wife yet. I can run his stock company myself and have made decisions for him. He wants me to evaluate almost a million shares of stock tonight. That's why I have to go over there. But, we have it all planned out. People talk about the age difference between us; we'll end up with more free time together than most couples ever get in a lifetime. But I would trade a lot of that for the 17 days I'm going to lose now." Selena blubbered.

"Selena, you are so lucky to have found a guy like that, crying over him being away is foolish. You know he loves you and you him. I'll go over with you tonight if it will make you feel better." Lucy said.

"I hoped you would. We can study all night around my work on the phone for the company. We can order in and drink some wine after we're done. Joe's got a nice wine cellar." Selena said, brightening.

"The change of scenery would do me some good. Studying here can be a drag at time, the same old four walls." Lucy opined as she finished her coffee.

"Let's pack up what we'll need for the night and go. Just being there will make me feel better." Selena said bouncing up herself with a renewed attitude.

The two girls busied themselves putting together things for the night away, although Selena already had everything she needed at Joe's. But, as she packed her lounge clothes, she tossed in the blue sex toy she got from Lucy the night before. Lucy packed all of her toys as well, thinking she would go straight from there to Mallory's for her "date" on Sunday. Lucy filled her team duffle with things she would need, Selena just a leather shopping carry bag Joe had given her.

By mid afternoon Selena was showing Lucy around her future home and its amenities.

"Here, you set up to study in the living room, you'll be able to sit in the sun. I'll set up in Joe's office and I'll be close to the Telex and handle that when it comes in. It's 3:30 now; let's say we study until 6:00 or so. My Telex should be through by then and if I have to conduct any business on the phone I can wrap that up quickly." Selena said as she opened the wide curtain in the great room.

Lucy immediately reclined on the sofa with a book and languished in the sunshine, saying it was perfect.

Selena sank back into Joe's leather chair and began recording notes into a small recorder. Later she would review her own voiced notes to commit them to memory. Usually once she spoke them into the recorder, or wrote them on legal pads she was sure of herself. Speaking them, then hearing them in between classes always stuck well with her.

Late in the afternoon the Telex buzzed, the fax machine whirred and the phone lines overseas got hot. Selena was in her glory conducting the business of trading for Joe. She was like Joe in so many ways, making decisions in snap like rapidity with slam-dunk assuredness. She had doubts about lots of things in life, but when figures and stocks were involved her memory and tracking were near faultless. She knew trends and how Joe looked at them as well.

When she finished her buy and sale the floor trader she dealt with on the phone seemed to walk away from the action at the market for a moment. Though his language seemed broken as he relayed trades on the floor, he spoke perfect English as he took a moment to congratulate Selena.

"I must tell you that Mr. Johnson told me you were wise to his ways of business, as well as smart in your own right. Although he told me you never actually dealt before, you would never know it by the way you handled it. I had warned him that when the window opened on this deal it would be short and decisions must come swiftly. You were everything he said you would be, and I can tell you if I were consigned the same duty for him; I would have done the same. I've only met Joe face to face once, but we have spent many hours on the phone together so I do know how he does business, and he has done a good piece of business in enlisting you." The man she knew as Slim Beepo said.

"Your flattery is appreciated, umm... Mr. Beepo." Selena said as she flushed in a bit of pride and embarrassment.

"If you were to come to market here to watch how we work I would show you how to properly say my name, how to move your mouth to get the right inflections." He said a low sexy tone.

"Well, Mr. Slim Beepo, I do believe you are flirting with me!" she joked to him.

"I may well be, you would have to be here to find out the truth." He countered.

"Mr. Johnson DID tell you that he and I were engaged to be married, didn't he?"

She asked.

The line went quiet for a moment, and then he spoke.

"Ummm, ah, NO. Well, he did tell me that he had met a beautiful young woman who had stolen his heart, but I had no idea she would be the same woman I would be dealing with over the phone. I am so sorry. Please accept my... " He stammered before she stopped him.

"Hahaha Sir, no disrespect was taken, and he should have told you the whole story. After not seeing him for the last few days, I needed the flirtatious words to boost my ego anyway. You are a gentleman, for sure." Selena said to ease his discomfort.

"The action is building here, now that they have swallowed the deal you made and are reacting, I must be off now. Thank you for everything Miss Selena Hanson and I look forward to speaking to you again in the future." He said before clicking the line dead.

Selena sunk back into Joe's leather chair and besides the swell of pride she felt, there was also a tingle deep within her sexual being. The thought that Joe had told this man he had found a woman who stole his heart, plus the fact he had flirted with her made it all too real that she missed Joe. If she had been sober and awake last night, she might still feel the relief from the workout she had given herself (or so she thought).

She looked at the clock and it was 6:30. She had nearly forgotten that Lucy was there with her and she pushed away the chair to check on her. She was, true to her word, deep in review of her Chemistry. She was lying back on the sofa, a wire bound steno pad opened over her knee for her penciled notes.

"How are you doing?" Selena asked brightly.

"Good, except for the kink in my neck and back. I think I've been in this position for a couple hours." Lucy said as she slowly sat up and put her hands to the small of her back as she stretched.

Selena walked to the front of the sofa and put her hands on Lucy's shoulders giving them a hard rub as she dug her thumbs into the void on either side of the top of her spine. The jolting squeeze of her thumbs made Lucy's back arch and straighten.

"Oh God! That feels good! Those hands have done that before. Wow, you really made me feel good. I'll bet you learned that from Joe." Lucy groaned, enjoying the feel of her hands.

"A good guess! Yes, he has a stiff back from working at a desk a long time and he showed me how to loosen him." She said, adding, "Plus the touching is always a nice prelude to some sex play. Ummmm, errrr, aaaaa, not that I... umm"

"Oh for God's sake Selena, don't be so fucking homophobic. Just because you touched me doesn't make me want to have sex with you. Let me tell you something you may not realize. You know those toys in my drawer? Well, the girls I sleep with are the same thing. Toys I use to get off with, and they feel the same way. None of us are "girlfriends" in that sense. The only woman who really wanted me as a girlfriend was Hilly, the woman you met in the middle of the night a few months back. I didn't know it then, but she is a lesbian and wanted me for a mate. I told you before that I'm a pretty sexed up creature and I don't sleep around for fear of disease and heartbreak. I'm not the only girl who feels that way. A little harmless night feeling the warmth and softness of another woman, a woman who KNOWS what feels good is all any of us want. Our sex isn't risky and it's very fulfilling. Seeing that shrink only validated what I'm doing and made me know, in my mind, that it's just a substitute for what I really want, a man. Beyond the passion of the evening, I have no emotional attachments." Lucy told Selena, laying it on the line.

Selena took her hands from Lucy quickly.

"You really use each other that way, and have no feelings either way in the morning?"

"No, we go in knowing what we want. A real lesbian in high school, a teacher, no less, first seduced me. I was so ridden with guilt that I went out and screwed a half dozen guys to prove I wasn't like her. While all these guys had a great time, I was never as satisfied as she had left me. Somewhere in between high school and college I began to learn the signs that made me think a woman might want me. When I got on the softball team I quickly found out that of the 19 of us, more than 10 were bi-sexual. But, if the right guy came along and fulfilled me, I would never stray again. So now I've told you about my sex life, you tell me about yours, and I have the first question. I overheard you with Joe on the phone talking about a spanking. You aren't into that are you?" Lucy asked.

Selena broke out into a high-pitched laugh, doubling over.

"No no no! When ever I, as Joe says, act less than my age, he threatens me with a spanking as you might do with a juvenile. He would never strike me, and I would never stand for or allow it. It's just cute talk."

"You don't like your butt cracked when you're, ya know, doing it with it in the air." Lucy asked with a wry smile.

Selena's face denied her as she flushed at the suggestion.

"So, you DO like to a butt slap from behind. I think all women do. It's kind of like a spanking for doing something that they always were taught was wrong. I had one boyfriend that really slapped it hard and I hated to tell him how much I liked it. So what else do you like? You've never wondered about a woman before?" Lucy asked.

Selena was definitely uncomfortable, but Lucy had been so open about her sex life that she felt she wanted to open a bit herself. She knew there was a part of growing up she missed while being pushed along in her studies. One part was the giggly girl talk of close friends.

"I had a friend I met recently tell me about her affair with a woman. She told me how tender it was and the feelings it brought out. Shortly after that she hugged and kissed me. I have to admit that I kissed her back. But I tell myself that I was just comforting her." Selena said in a low voice as if others could hear her.

"So you at least understand my feelings and outlook on it. I'm not trying to fall in love with any woman, nor do I think I could. It's just the contentment that you get. Like when you make love with Joe? I want that too, without the frills of a relationship. Masturbation is the great stress reliever, but sometimes you need a little more." Lucy expounded.

"Ummm, this is fun; talking open and freely about naughty things. You know I haven't had a close girlfriend since my Barbie and TigerBeat days. I went from 13 to 20 almost overnight and now that my body is 20 I guess I need to catch up. Let's order some take out and open a bottle of wine." Selena said happily.

"We can get into our jammies, make popcorn and have a pillow fight!" Lucy laughed.

"Ha! That's when Joe told me I would go over his knee. I told him we would leave popcorn and pillow feathers all over." Selena said as they both laughed heartily.

Selena told Lucy the whole story of how she and Joe came together as they sipped wine and waited for the pizza to arrive. Lucy admitted that she was sexually active a lot earlier than her friend and had tried near everything. Since she had gotten to college though, she had tried to be truer to herself and not so "slutty". The two times she slept with guys without a serious relationship, it had blown up in her face, one resulting in the oral rape in her dorm.

"I was a little experienced when I met Joe, but in a lot of ways I was still a virgin. I had slept with my study aide, who showed me how to have a good time. More than anything I was rebelling. To have my Dad think I was studying while I was under the covers with some guy, that was half the thrill. But actually, I never really got off with him." Selena admitted.

"I bet you went crazy went you got home though, huh?" Lucy asked, excited.

"Uhhh, Yeah, I did!" Selena said, embarrassed.

"Oh God Selena! Don't be embarrassed! We all jerk off! Do you mean to say that you've never done it in front of anyone besides your lover?" Lucy asked.

"Well, No! I don't have affairs with other women!"

"I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT LOVERS I'VE TAKEN. I MEAN GIRLFRIENDS, FRIENDS THAT ARE GIRLS! Haven't you ever had a sexy slumber party; comparing notes with a girlfriend or two, or a few of you getting sexy watching a porno movie you took from your father's drawer or something? JE-SUS Selena. Two girls with no clothes on in a room doesn't mean they're lesbians. What do you do in a locker room? How much of puberty and growing up did you miss?" Lucy defended.

"Apparently ALL of it. YOU'RE the one who told me she liked girls, so I guess I assumed a lot!"

"Selena, I told you I was attracted to girls, but for one reason, sex! I don't want to fall in love with a woman. Girls I have affairs with serve one purpose; to get each other off in a tender way rather than pounding your pudding underneath the sheets alone. We don't worry about getting pregnant, getting diseases or whether the phone will ring tomorrow. It's sex for convenience. A lesbian took advantage of me and I know what that's all about. I was a petrified 16 year old with a grown woman, one of my teachers, with her head between my legs telling me how much she loved me. Then after all of that I screwed a bunch of guys to prove I didn't like what she did. But, do you know what? Even letting them do as they please to me wasn't any better than that old dyke using me. At least she hugged me and kissed me afterwards!" Lucy spit out as she started to bawl in earnest. "I've only had one guy who loved me and treated me tenderly. I know how happy you are; I've been there. Unfortunately he went to college and met someone else."

Lucy was crying but she kept a brave face up.

"I'm not a lesbian and don't treat me like I have a curse on me. Do you know how many other girls on this campus do what I do? I have no problem finding sex. I thought we were going to have fun tonight, but you seem to want to treat me differently. Please don't. I was hoping we could have a few drinks, a few laughs and maybe even get a little sexy together, and I don't mean have sex with each other!"

Selena felt ashamed and bad that she had hurt her friends' feelings, but her intentions confused her.

"I don't know about the sexy part, I'm pretty private." Selena said.

"That's part of the sexy part. Doing something, talking about something naughty behind closed doors with someone you can trust. Asking and answering the questions you can't ask anyone else." Lucy said as she got up and spilled the rest of her wine down the drain.

"I'm just going to go Selena. If we're going to stay friends we better keep some things private. You've been there for me in so many ways, I can't hold it against you that you don't want to open up." Lucy said as he began to pack her books in her backpack.

"Can you bring me back to the dorm, or should I get the bus?"

"I'll bring you home if you really want to leave, but I'd like you to stay." Selena said sheepishly. "Don't think I have a stick up my ass about sex, or talking about it with you. I've never had a girlfriend I could really confide in. When we were in Jamaica I even gave out advice and talked about sex with a girl I met there who was having boyfriend problems."

"I think it's best that I go. It's early and I'll have the dorm to myself tonight."

"Please don't go. I may not be as much fun as one of your other friends, but we can a good time."

"Selena! I'm not looking for THAT kind of fun with you. You have the wrong idea. I thought we could just be girlfriends sharing a special night. Just put down this thought I'm some sort of predator. Remember, it was you who woke up naked with one of my toys this morning. If anyone should be wary, it should be me." Lucy said as the doorbell rang and she looked to the door and back to her friend.

"Look Lucy," Selena began apologetically, "our dinner is here and I've been an asshole about this whole thing. Can we hug and rewind to the middle of our glass of wine?"

"OK. I know we are friends and have always gotten along; I just don't want you to treat me any differently than before. This should be a great night for us to bond together." Lucy said putting her books down and pouring another glass of wine while Selena got the door.

The deliveryman waited while Selena fumbled to get the right change and Lucy searched her purse as well. They gave him exact change and then tucked 4 ones into his hand and thanked him for waiting.

As soon as the door closed Selena looked at Lucy and giggled.

Lucy giggled back saying, "If he wants to deliver something besides pizza I know a door he could knock on! He was a doll!"

"A doll with a lump in his pants and a hairy chest!" Selena added.

"In my slutty days, that was the kind of guy who would get a first date blowjob! All that hair, I could just rub my body all over him!" Lucy said as she bit her knuckle.

"I was never into oral before Joe, but that guy would have me thinking, now that I know what it's all about." Selena added.

"Really? That was the first sex I had with a guy. He went down on me and then showed me how. I always thought it would be awful and only the worst girls did it, but it seemed pretty natural when it happened, especially after how he made me feel with his mouth." Lucy said, a little embarrassed, wanting to test the waters of conversation.

"It seemed repulsive to me, but like you say, when it's presented right, it's natural. I could never do it to someone I didn't really adore though." Selena said as she filled their plates with slices.

"Well, its kind of part of the whole sex act now, it seems. I've never slept with a guy I didn't taste. But a guy would have to be pretty special to have sucking without fucking." Lucy added, digging into her dinner.

"Do you swallow it?" Selena asked as Lucy near choked at the question.

"WOW! Little Miss Privacy has got the BIG questions. I guess you're in!"

Lucy said, a little astonished.

Selena smiled and took a bite of her pizza.

"Yeah, I guess I'm in." She answered embarrassed, but with a certain boldness undoubtedly helped by the wine.

"I do for someone I love, and that's only been one guy. Well, I really don't swallow; I take it in my mouth and suck on him till he's done. Then I spit. I did swallow once by mistake, and then when I was raped. THAT was especially awful." Lucy admitted.

"Why didn't you report it?"

"I met the guy at a kegger and took him home to fuck. It was Horny Lucy trying her luck at a zipless fuck. Any judge or jury would say I got what I deserved. I paid for my crime of being a slut. I knew when I was doing it that I was sliding back to my old ways, but I was horny and wanted a fix." Lucy said boldly.

"But how does HE pay?"

"He's on the PolyTech campus a lot to see his girlfriend. Someday when I see them together I'll tell her what happened. I know things about him only a lover would know." Lucy said smugly.

"Now getting back to the subject, do YOU swallow it?" Lucy asked.

"So you really don't swallow it, why not? Why do you spit it out?" Selena countered.

"Your honor, the witness is avoiding the question." She laughed. "My man told me he enjoyed my mouth right after he came, sucking and licking. I do that for him, but the texture is bad for me, as well as the taste. I don't like it. Now YOU!"

Selena smiled and took a bit of her pizza, chewed and swallowed. "I don't lose a drop. It tastes like my lover and I love him. If he knows we are going to be love nesting, he makes sure he eats pineapple that morning, and that makes his cum especially yummy by night. He eats me belly button to hiney and makes me crazy with multiple orgasms. I would finish him however it pleased him even if I didn't like it."

"Don't you hate that they won't kiss you afterwards, though? Oral sex usually means the last kiss of the night." Lucy bemoaned.

"Joe doesn't mind tasting himself on my tongue or lips, we neck like teenagers afterwards. Your lips are especially full after a good sucking from the blood rushing to them. It makes awesome kissing. He doesn't know what he's missing. Tell him you wouldn't taste anything he wouldn't." Selena said casually, getting into the frank conversation as the alcohol loosened her up.

"Wow, it sounds like you guys are really into it. Do you have a lot of sex? God, I pound off at least once a day it seems, and even then I try to have a partner every week, if I can. Being on the softball team it's easy, but I wish my relationship with Jeromy would flourish. He hasn't called since he left on the exchange program, I have a feeling he may not be as excited about me as I am he."

"Give him time Lucy, and remember he may hear rumors about your other affairs. Everyone thinks the softball team is all lesbians and he may be wary." Selena pointed out.

"Yeah, I know that and of the 19 of us, I think all of us have had girl-girl affairs, at least according to Mallory. I've only been with 8 or 9. Just Hilly is a full-fledged lesbian. I think I told you she wanted me for a girlfriend, and I stay away from her now." Lucy said as she began to fill up with tears. "God-dammit, I just want a little love, just to feel something besides my fingers. I would stop if I had a guy; I think all of us would. How do you keep a GPA of 3.5 and devote time to a relationship while practicing 3 times a week and 2 games a week?" She said through a hard bawl. Her once strong outer shell about her bi-sexuality was breaking.

Selena put down her pizza and got up to hug her from the back of her chair.

"Come on Luce, you're stronger than this. You have to buck up a bit to get through this and not worry what others think. Keep your affairs discreet and everything is rumor. Maybe when Jeromy gets home I bet he'll come to the games once you guys start up. I can't wait to meet him. If people see you with him it will squash the rumors. If Jeromy doesn't work out, there'll be other guys. You're pretty and have a nice athletic body. Lots of guys would be interested in you. Hey, MY roomy is hot!" Selena said as she hugged her head next to Lucy's and kissed her cheek, and then hugged her head again.

"Now calm down and let's eat and finish the wine. We'll watch a movie on HBO or Cinemax and compare more notes. Tonight will be all us." Selena comforted her getting into the idea that Lucy originally had.

"Thanks for letting me vent a little. It's so fucking frustrating. I'm not really ashamed of my affairs, but there are people I DON'T want to know about them. It's the hiding from them that just screws everything in my head. I know you have a hard time with my situation, but please TRY to understand." She said as she dried her tears.