Chapter 13

Having gotten one envelope out of the way, Julia forgot about coffee and set to work on the rest of the unwieldy pile of mail. Most of excess was junk mail - flyers, circulars, ads - and it wound up in a more neatly arranged discard pile on her right on the table.

A few of the letters were bills, all of which were current, and none of which demanded immediate attention. Those she put off to her left, to be posted on a cork board in her small office where she put all her unpaid charges.

There were several cards mixed into the pile, most of which were from close friends who, having just heard about Richard's death, were sending belated condolences. A few others were from colleagues in the school system that worried about her because of her recent leave of absence. All the notes encouraged her to call or drop by anytime, and she smiled at the expressions of concern and sympathy from those who cared about her. These she also place to her left, where she could place them on her desk in order to reply with thank you cards.

That left a thick envelope with the return address of the school board in the upper right hand corner.

Julia knew that inside would be her contract for another year of teaching, and normally it would be just an automatic reflex for her to sign the contract and send it back, securing her future income for yet another 12 months.

Except now, her concept of the future was different, and what had been automatic in the past now deserved a closer look.

She did like teaching at the elementary school... all the energy and cheerfulness generated by each new class of students, each with their own strengths and weaknesses she needed to help guide and mold. But she had to admit, it was more difficult to teach now than it had been in the past, what with the attention deficit problems brought on by the variety of choices children had for entertainment at home: television, video games, the internet. While it seemed like her children never lacked for intelligence or drive, most seemed wedded to images and not words, and many quickly became restless if a concept was hard for them to grasp - as if they wanted to reach for the remote and find a more fun subject to flip to, like recess. It was her job to find a way to reach these kids, but she wondered if perhaps a new generation of teacher and technology might be more successful than she seemed to be.

She had some money put away, and the money from the bus company on top of that could keep her going for at least a year without problem. That meant that income was no longer the baseline reason for which she needed to continue to teach. 'Perhaps... , ' the thought came slowly to her, as she tried to stretch her mind in directions she had never tried, 'perhaps I should take a little time on this... and truly decide what I want, as opposed to what I have to do. Maybe it's time to start thinking about what I'd like to do with the rest of life, before it's too late to do something about it.'

Julia picked up the bulky envelope without opening it, and set it atop the stack of bills waiting to be taken to her office.

Finished with everything on the table, Julia stood up and took the stack of junk mail in her hands, intending to drop them in the trash can by the back door. Yet, as she stood, her foot nudged a large manila envelope that had fallen under the table... the same envelope that had fallen with a loud slap to nudge her from her reverie earlier. She looked at it for a moment, and then decided to go ahead and make her trip to the trash and finally make her coffee. Whatever else she might need to take of, it could wait until she'd at least made some pretense at making herself comfortable.

About 20 minutes later, Julia was again seated at the table, cup of coffee in front of her. She had transported the remaining mail upstairs to her office, taken her bag into the bedroom to be unpacked, and changed into long nightshirt and bedroom slippers - her typical "uniform of the day" when relaxing at home. She settled herself comfortably on the padded bench in the breakfast nook, which let her look into the backyard. It was her favorite perch for dawdling, because it allowed her look upon her mother's rosebush. It had been planted there when Julia was born, and had been tended carefully, first by Julia's mother, then by Julia herself. Even without blooms, the rosebush was like Julia's botanical meditation touchstone - a way for her to touch the past and remind herself of the beauty that remains... 'if you work to keep it alive, ' she thought, rolling the coffee cup gently back and forth between her hands.

After taking a sip, she set the cup back down and finally picked up the manila envelope off the table. It was from yet another law firm, again with a Rochester address. 'What now?' Julia asked herself, weary of the legal communications she seemed to be flooded with.

Tearing open the back flap, Julia upended the envelope, spilling onto the table a single sheet of thick stationery, as well as a thin white envelope. She could see her name written on the envelope in scratchy print - 'That's Richard's handwriting!' She quickly picked up the unfolded sheet of paper, hoping for an explanation.

The letter began:

Dear Ms. Perry:

Your brother Richard was my client for nearly ten years, and I also had the privilege of calling him friend for at least a few of those years. He could be difficult and distant, but he was one of the few people in this world who could be relied upon to meet and complete any goal or deadline with a handshake and one word - "Done."

He kept his affairs rather secretive; I know because I arranged them that way at his request. When the tumor was diagnosed late last year, it was his wish not to tell anyone about it, but to slowly arrange all his affairs so that, when the time came, all would be in order for you. You are his only living relative, so transfer of the remaining items of his estate will not be hard to accomplish.

Your brother was a genius at designing certain types of computer software, and, despite his living arrangements, consulted some of the largest corporations in the US and abroad. Most of his consulting fees were banked and invested at my direction, as he had no interest in money beyond what it took to feed and clothe him, and meet his few needs with regard to equipment and expenses. We can discuss the exact amount when you come to my office. Please phone me at the above number so that we can make arrangements to meet. We might have taken care of this sooner, but I have only just arrived back in the country after a long-planned vacation, and did not even know of Richard's death until a few days ago. I am sorry I did not have a chance to attend the memorial service you arranged, as I understand that you had to do all the planning yourself. You have my deepest condolences.

As to the envelope included here - Richard gave this to me right before I left on my vacation, saying that, upon his death, it was to be given or sent to you straight away. I have not opened it, but I sense there is something important that he needed to tell you, and I hope it gives you some sense of the man. He had a hard time expressing his feelings, but he loved you dearly, and there were times when our conversations concerned nothing but how much he wished he could show you that love. He was a complicated man, but he truly had a good heart.

It will be my pleasure to be at your service, just as I was your brother. Until we meet in person, please take care.

Charles Higgenson

Julia read the letter twice, just to be sure she hadn't misread a word or a line. Her brother, a genius? Whenever asked, he said he worked on computers part-time, making it sound like he had a hard time keeping a job... when in fact, he had people apparently lining up to get his help! More than that, he lived so... so sordidly! He apparently had money, but preferred to live like a bum! It made no sense!

Julia held the white envelope in her shaking hands, again wondering why all these revelations had to come only after his death. 'Why couldn't you be sitting here right now, Richard, telling me about what you did and about how much you loved me? Why couldn't we have had some time together to be brother and sister, instead of virtual strangers? Was it really that hard for you to talk to me?' Breathing deeply, she managed to calm herself enough to break the seal on the envelope and pull two sheets of folded paper from inside.