Ahhhhhh, Life is sweet!

Why? You ask? Well, let me explain.

I recently accepted a sweet new job here in Boston. I had made some exciting advances in my work which drew a lot of attention and led to multiple companies absolutely throwing deals at me. This particular company won me over.

They offered me a cushy corner office in one of the newer buildings downtown. An expense account, company car, almost anything I asked for, they agreed to. All because of one silly little idea that I’d had. I was like a kid in a candy store making requests. Not bad considering I’d only graduated college two years ago.

The best perk came last week when the boss popped into my office late on Wednesday and offered me his passes to next night’s Celtics game. Not a big playoff game or anything, but hey, free. He said I could bring up to six of my friends. At that point, all I had to do was find six friends.

Well, there was no way I was going to pass that up. I took the passes and started to call everyone I knew. Unbelievably, NO ONE was available to join me. Free tickets! and they all passed for important reasons like, “I have to work the next day.” Unbelievable. I’d bet if they had been playing the Lakers everyone would have come.

The problem was, I really didn’t know that many people in Boston. Most of my college friends had moved on to grad school or jobs in other cities. So, it looked like I was on my own.

Well, guess what? Screw them all! I had free passes, I was going. Even if it meant I had to go alone. I drove to the arena and went to the entrance the boss told me to go to. To my surprise, they valet parked my car, then a very cute little “hostess” escorted me upstairs to my Suite.

That’s right. Suite. These were not really good seats, or courtside seats, I actually had an entire suite to myself. There was food set out. Booze. Big screen TVs on the walls to catch all the close-ups. Nice comfy chairs up at the glass to watch the game in comfort, and a couple of big comfy couches in the back, I guess in case the chairs at the window weren’t soft enough. After giving me the tour, hostess Susie told me to pick up the phone and dial if I needed anything. I did have some ideas, but I doubted she’d go along with any of them.

It was amazing. I watched the pre-game warm-ups for a while, had three different channels on the TVs, had a few drinks, then called all my loser friends to tell them what they were missing. THEN they all wished they had come.

I realized that I would have to rub their faces in it the next time I saw them all, so I took a quick trip down to the concession stand to pick up a new Celtics jersey. A nice bright green one with the little Irish guy spinning a basketball on it. Perfect.

Out of nowhere, I actually heard a sweet little voice calling my name.

“Nick? Nick Hogan? Is that you?”

I was confused because I was sure I didn’t know any women in this town. But when I turned around, I recognized her instantly. Christine Dixon, from my college dorm. Or was it her sister, Carol? It didn’t matter, they were interchangeable. Identical twins, and every frat boy’s dream for four years. They were known as “The Dixon Vixens.” I’m sure that I was in love with one of them at some point, didn’t matter which.

She looked as hot now as she had back in school. She was short, green eyes, shoulder length blonde hair, and the most perfect body I could imagine. If she had started to walk away right then, I would have followed her all the way around the arena for the rest of the night, just to stare at that ass.

We started talking and I found out that this was Christine. She and Carol had also graduated and were now attending grad school at one of the other colleges nearby. We stood there chatting for about ten minutes, probably about the longest conversation I’d ever had with either of them. We’d always been friendly in school but it never went beyond that. They had always seemed a bit beyond my grasp back then. Then Carol walked around the corner.

Seeing the two of them together, my jaw must have dropped because they giggled at me then smiled at each other. That was exactly why they had always seemed so far out of my league. Then it dawned on me, I was in a new league now. Big job, big pay, big office, company car ... and an empty suite right upstairs.

I asked them where their seats were and they told me they were actually working the game. They had developed this little side gig where clothing companies would send them free samples, and they’d get paid every time pictures of them got tweeted or posted on social media. So, they came to the game dressed in those outfits and would walk around taking selfies with anyone and everyone, then post them online. To demonstrate, they both cozied up on either side of me and we took a selfie of our own, which they posted immediately. When I felt one of their hands on my ass, I knew I definitely had to take my shot.

I said to them.

“You know, if you two don’t want to walk around feeling up strangers all night, you could come upstairs with me and hang out in my private suite”

That got their attention.

“You have a private suite?”

I held up my pass for them to inspect. They looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and said.

“What the hell! Lead the way!”

I held out an elbow for each of them and upstairs we went, back to the privacy of my suite. The three of us. All alone. I could not believe my luck.