Chapter 11

Tuesday - Day 11

I struggled awake to a different sensation than normal (at least in the sense of normal that I've come to expect the last few weeks). Instead of her normal blowjob, Becky was barely touching my dick with her tongue. It almost felt like she was writing on me with her tongue. I looked at her to see what was up and she slithered up me until she was lying on me.

"Good morning, sir," she said.

"Good morning, Becky. Are you OK?" I asked.

"Not really, sir. I got up early this morning and I've been thinking a lot," she said.

"Would you like to tell me about it?" I asked.

"Sir, I'm angry with you!" she said.

"What did I do?" I asked.

"You let me be a bitch for far too long," Becky said. "We've been together for two years, and never once did you put me in my place until just now. Sir, why did you let me go on treating you like that for so long?"

This was a bit much for just waking up. I shook myself awake further and sat up a little, looking in her eyes. "What is bringing this on?" I asked.

"I couldn't sleep much last night," Becky replied. "I thought about our whole relationship. Actually, I thought about all my relationships, but mostly I thought about ours. I know why I acted like I did; I didn't know any better. But sir, it is clear now that you know better. Why didn't you take me in hand earlier? Why did we waste all that time?"

"Becky," I started. I stopped, not knowing what to say. Then I started again. "Becky, I didn't take you in hand, you did. If you recall, I just said I needed something different. My whole life I've been the doormat. First I was too young to know any better, and then I was too used to it. I was always the nice guy, and I didn't know any better.

"Frankly, if you had let me go, I would have tried to find someone like you are now and probably not succeeded. I would have ended up compromising and eventually I would have gotten lonely, caved in and ended up in a relationship just like the one that we were in. And you would have probably found someone else like me and ended up the same way.

"Becky, you saved me by not giving up. You allowed me to grow. I am sorry that I did not do it earlier, truly I am. When I think of all those months that I could have been living like this, I kick myself."

"That is what I've been thinking about all night, sir," Becky said. "I treated you badly. I denied you. I embarrassed you. I put you down. Sir, I feel that I need to make it up to you."

"You ARE making it up to me Becky," I told her. "Every time I am with my new tiger, it erases the memory of our old relationship, the old Becky."

Becky kissed me lightly on the lips and said, "I knew that you would say that was enough for you. You are so sweet. But sir, it is not enough for me. It gnaws at me. Sir, I feel like I need to serve penance."

"Penance?" I asked, confused.

"Yes, sir," she replied. "It is not enough for me to just change my behavior. I need to be punished for my past actions so that I can let them go."

We were delving into some deep psychological stuff that I did not feel prepared to deal with. "What do you mean punished?" I asked.

"I don't mean the spankings you have been giving me," she said, smiling. "Those are fun and I encourage you to keep doing it. You know how that turns me on!

"But what I am saying, sir, is that occasionally I will request that you punish me for specific behaviors that I exhibited towards you, or sometimes things that I thought about. I know you are not a cruel master, and you would not do this on your own, but I would like permission to sometimes tell you about something from our past, and to tell you how I want to be punished. Then I want you to punish me as I ask."

"I'm not sure about that," I said.

"Please, sir. I know you love me. Do this for me!" she pleaded.

"OK, I'll try," I said.

"And now that I've got you to agree, sir, I'm going to ask something even harder of you," she went on. "I know you, and I know that despite what you say, you resented me for some of those behaviors. You wanted me to do things and I wouldn't. I even disparaged you for asking.

"So what I want sir, is that when you punish me, you think about what you are punishing me for, and you let out all your rage. I know you don't want to hurt me, but I want you to do this! Please!"

I just lay there for a long time. This was way over my head. But I couldn't deny that sometimes I wanted to hurt her for what she had done. On the other hand, I don't particularly like to cause a lot of pain. Finally I sighed and said, "Tiger, I will try. But I don't promise you anything."

"Oh, thank you, sir! Thank you! You make me so happy!" she said. Then she got up and went to the other side of the bed. I sat up as she came back and knelt on the floor beside the bed. She bent her head and held her hands up, presenting me with the crop she had bought, but which we had not yet used.

"Sir," she began formally, "During the time we were dating I knew that you wanted to try anal sex. Every time that you went near my ass I forced you away. I even told you it was disgusting and you should never try it. Sir, I was wrong. Anal sex gives me great pleasure, and it gives you great pleasure, and I should not have denied us both the pleasure.

"Please, sir, will you punish me for my behavior? Please use this crop on my ass ten times. When you are done, I would like you to use it on my pussy three times. And finally, sir, I would like you to fuck my ass as hard as you can, so that all day I can feel the pain of my punishment and the pleasure of your cum in my ass."

This woman just blew my mind. I sat there and thought about this for about five minutes, and she never moved. She sat there presenting the crop to me, and I got the feeling that if I did not take it, she would still be there the next morning.

I thought about everything she said. It was true; it always upset me that she denied me without ever having tried it. And she was not kind when she did. I had been angry about it, before she had changed her attitude. It was why one of the first things that I did after she agreed to serve me was to take her ass. And she seemed to really want this. "Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes, sir. Please. For me?"

I took the crop from her hand and she scrambled up onto the bed. She got up on her hands and knees, raised her skirt and spread her legs. Interestingly, she put her hands above her head and clasped them together, as if they were bound.

I swung the crop around to get the feel of it. I had never used one before, and I assumed that Becky had never had one used on her either. She appeared to assume that it would hurt a lot.

"Why are you being punished?" I asked Becky.

"Because I denied you my ass!" Becky screamed the word 'ass' as I landed my first blow.

"And was that wrong?" I asked.

"Yes, sir. It was wrong!" she shrieked as I landed another one.

"And why was that wrong?" I asked.

"Because I was denying you pleasure," she answered.

"Just me?" I asked.

"No, sir. I was denying both of us pleasure!" she screamed, as I landed another.

"And how were you acting when you did that?" I asked.

"Like a bitch!" she yelled as she received another.

"How do you think that made me feel?" I asked.

"Angry!" she yelped as she got the fifth.

"And?" I asked.

"Hurt!" as she got the sixth.

"What do you deserve for behaving like that?" I asked.

"A beating!" she screeched on the seventh.

"What kind of beating?" I asked.