Chapter 34

"Allison," Ben said, sounding stern. "Listen to me. I'm going to walk out that door before we do something we'll both regret." He was starting to feel like a broken record, but he had to get through to her or risk losing everything. He glanced down toward his penis. "If you think I'm lying about wanting you, consider this as proof to the contrary."

She smiled at that, but only briefly. "I just don't understand why it has to be this way," she half-whined. "Especially since very little's changed since we showered together this morning."

"But see there's where you're wrong, Ally. A lot has changed since this morning." Ben walked back to the other half of the room and sat down on the edge of her bed. He knew he had to handle this carefully. His future with Ally depended on it. "Sit down a sec," he said, patting the bed beside him.

"Are you sure you want me sitting that close to you? I mean, I might attack you or something!" She laughed a small laugh, but at least it was progress.

"I'm very flattered," he smiled sincerely, "but it's very important that you understand where I'm coming from here. Seriously, you have to admit that everything Erica said today caught you off guard, right?" Ally nodded. "And worst of all, it rocked your world where Professor Salinger was concerned. Within seconds," he said, snapping his fingers for dramatic effect, "you went from practically worshipping the ground he walked on, to doubting every single thing he's ever said to you. And who could blame you? Absolutely no one."

"But why does all that have to have anything to do with us?" She looked so young and hurt as she asked the question.

Ben dipped his head, not sure if he could look her in the eye with his answer. He was acting in Ally's best interest, but even before he opened his mouth he knew it was going to sound lame to her. Why does everything have to be so damn complicated, he wondered.

"Because I don't want you confusing the drama of everything else that's going on with our relationship. There's too much going on for any single person to process. And when a person gets overloaded and overwhelmed, well, let's just say it's not the best time to be making any major decisions. Like I've said several times before, I care too much about you to rush this, Ally."

"Ah," she said bitterly. "I get it. You care too much to wanna be with me. Well thank you very much, Benjamin Pruett!" she spat out.

Ally knew that she must have sounded like a spoiled four year old whining over a toy, but she really couldn't help it. She wanted--no, she needed-Ben desperately, and he was walking out on her when she needed him most. To be perfectly honest, she actually agreed with some of Ben's points about making decisions in the time of crisis, but that didn't mean she had to like it. The world as she knew it was whisked out from under her over the past few days, and all she wanted was someone to hold her tight and tell her everything was going to be okay. If said someone managed to sneak his hand down the front of her pants and tickle her fancy in the process, all the better!

"I know this is hard for you to understand right now..."

No, 'hard' would be the feel of my kicking you in the ass while wearing Kaija's spiked heels! "Don't be so patronizing! Yeah, it's been a rough few days, but that doesn't mean I have to live my life covered in bubble wrap!"

"You're right," he conceded. "But there's another angle to all of this that we haven't considered. I'm 18, and you're not." The words weren't even finished rolling off his tongue before he started regretting making that particular point.

Ally's eyes flashed with rage. "And I don't suppose it'd help if I put my approval of our interaction in writing..." She grabbed a piece of scrap paper from her desk, snatched a pen out of Kaija's pencil holder, and started writing. "I, Allison Delaney, agree that Benjamin Pruett, a.k.a. "Ben" may engage in the following activities without fear of legal action: French kissing, breast suckling, earlobe nibbling, clit-"

"Knock it off!" The words came out harsher than he had anticipated. "This is not about ass-squeezing, pussy tickling, or any of that stuff. It's about..." He stopped speaking as Ally folded her arms and started tuning him out. "Never mind," he said, waving her off as he headed for the door. "You don't want to understand right now. You're much too emotional to be having this discussion."

"Fuck you, Pruett!"

Holy shit, she must be seriously pissed to be using that kind of language! With a well-concealed grin, he reached for the doorknob. "I know you wanna," he called over his shoulder as he snuck out the door.

The sound of smashing glass hit the door behind him.

Ally knelt down with a hand brush and dustpan, trying to clean up the shards of glass scattered amongst the jelly beans. She loved that candy jar, and was a little shocked that she actually hurled it across the room. But she was so damn angry at Ben it wasn't funny. She thought he was different, a kind and caring guy, but he was beginning to act more and more like her father.

Tears streaked down her face as Ally thought about her dad. He loved her to pieces when she was getting good grades, winning awards, or flying high on life, but the instant things stopped being picture perfect, he lost interest in her. Didn't even want to talk to her. That's why Ally seldom called home when things weren't going well. And for obvious reasons, she wasn't calling home a whole heck of a lot these days.

She sighed as she dumped the last of the debris into the trashcan. Why wouldn't Ben stick by her side through all this? A few hours ago she would have bet her life that he would have. And God, if he actually thought she'd press charges against him were they to get even more intimate...

Jeez, I'm beginning to wish I'd never discovered sex! It was so much easier when I didn't know what I was missing! Yep. Wish I'd never heard of sex. Then, after a long pause, the word "Liar" popped into her head. She managed a weak grin and then rolled her eyes. "Lordy, I HAVE turned into a nymphomaniac!" A psychotic nymphomaniac at that, given the way I'm talking to myself!

Ally looked over at the stack of textbooks piled up on the far side of her desk. She had calculus problems to do, a chapter to review for psych class, and a short story to read for American Lit, all of which were due for class the next day. School work was the last thing she wanted to do, but it was the real reason she was here. With a heavy sigh, she dragged the books over to her bed and sat down. May as well get started...

Ben was halfway between Ally's dorm and the dining commons when a voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"I'm surprised to see you out here so soon," Kaija grinned. "I figured you two would be busy well into the night!"

"Things change. Plans change." Ben shrugged.

For whatever reason, Kaija glanced down and saw Ben's bulging jeans. "Oh no, tell me she didn't leave you... well, I'd saying hanging, but you're not really hanging... in a lurch again..."

"Not exactly." Ben shifted his body to camouflage his erection as best as he could given the circumstances.

"Well, I'd offer to help you out with that," she said, jerking her head toward his crotch, "but Ally's my friend, and I can't-"

"Don't get me wrong," Ben interrupted. "We're still together." He thought about it for a moment and decided maybe he'd better rephrase that. "Or at least we're still together in my book, but..."

Kaija tilted her dainty, stylish head. "Let me get this straight. You're the one walking the campus with an erection, yet you still consider yourselves a couple, and she doesn't?"

Ben nodded sheepishly. God, if he were that kind of guy, Kaija would have made for some amazing rebound action. He could imagine those delicious lips closing around him, relieving the unbearable pressure between his legs. But he couldn't even picture the complete scene from start to finish. Images of Ally's face kept flashing before him. It was Allison he wanted, but now was not the time.

"Why don't we sit down for a few minutes," Kaija suggested. "There's a snack bar in the basement at the back of the dining commons building. We could have an ice cream, and you could bring me up to speed. Maybe I can help."

She didn't even give Ben a chance to say yes or no. She just wrapped her hand around his upper arm, and led him to the snack bar. "I'll have a scoop of orange sherbet, please," she said to the gal behind the counter. "And whatever he's having." She hitched her thumb back toward Ben who stood behind her. "I'm paying."

"I'll have a medium Coke, please."

Kaija paid the clerk, and then they took their goodies to find a booth.