Chapter 33

"Wait up, Ally," Ben called out, trying to keep up with her. "I'm going with you!"

She looked back over her shoulder as she continued her journey to the tray drop off. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea. I'm a total basket case right now."

Ben caught up with her as she was dumping her trash, sorting out the silverware, and sending the tray down the conveyor belt back to the washing staff. "Are you upset with me for some reason?" She shook her head. "Well then it's a great idea that I come along. You shouldn't be alone right now."

Ally couldn't run out the door of the building fast enough. Tears threatened to sneak out of her eyes at any second, and she didn't want Erica and company to see her cry.

"Why don't we go back to your room to regroup," Ben suggested. "Kaija said she had plans for the day, so it'll just be you and me." Getting no resistance to his idea, he wrapped an arm around her waist and led her back toward the dorm. Ally's silence worried him. He wondered if more had happened with the professor than she was willing to let on. She had turned ashen when Erica started telling Gina's story. I wonder if it was hitting a bit too close to home... Ben decided not to press her for more details until they were in the privacy of her room.

Once they had finally reached her room with the door safely closed behind them, Ally blew out a breath of relief. She tossed her keys onto her desk and fell on to her bed like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. Ben knew how he could lighten that weight a bit, but he was not the kind to take advantage of a woman in need.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and reached for her hand. It was oddly clammy given how warm it was outside. There was no question about it; she was definitely shaken up. He patted her hand, and then began to speak. "I think there's more to all this than you're telling me, and I'd like to help."

She plucked a tissue from the box on her nightstand and blew her nose. "That's so sweet of you, Ben. But I'm so confused now, I don't know which end is up!"

"Talk it out," he suggested. "What's confusing you most?"

Ally shifted her pillow upward so she could sit up in bed comfortably. "For starters, how much stock do I put in Erica's story? Was she exaggerating about Gina's situation? Had Gina really led him on? Should I thank Erica for saving me from a louse, or hate her for ruining the life of a friend? God! It's so confusing!" She balled up the tissue and held it in her lap. "And the fact that she and her father are so hell-bent on revenge years after all this went down is a little weird, too, and that's only the half of it..."

Ben tilted his head, waiting for her to finish. Obviously she was still holding something back. He shrugged. "I know it sucks, Ally, but I think you're doing the right thing by talking it out." He rubbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. "So what's the other half of your dilemma?"

A lump formed in Ally's throat. She had promised the professor she wouldn't tell anyone about the book, but she wanted a second opinion. Was it for real, or just a ploy to get closer to her? And did she really want to be discussing that with a guy she had just become more intimate with? Ally squeezed Ben's hand, letting him know that she was there, but not quite ready to talk.

"You're not afraid that I'm going to judge you, are you Ally?" She closed her eyes, trying to keep the tears from coming. "I mean I'm a hell of a long way from perfect myself. There's no way I could critique someone else's actions with a straight face, I know that."

But the longer she stayed silent, the more worried he got. Had Ally made love with the professor? He doubted it, but he also had to admit that she seemed pretty damn experienced in the shower for a girl who was supposedly so innocent. Or maybe she just felt like she was in over her head. Perhaps Salinger came on to her and she enjoyed the attention at first, but is now having second thoughts.

Then his breath caught. "Salinger didn't threaten you, did he?"

"Heavens no!" she cried, wide-eyed.

Well at least she was talking again, Ben thought to himself. "Then what is it? What's got you so spooked, upset, or whatever it is that you're feeling?" He brushed a stray strand of hair out of her eyes.

She sighed. "I promised him I wouldn't talk about it..."

Shit; if he had his way with her... ! Ben's face tightened as anger started to spawn within him. He had declared himself her protector, and there was no way in hell he could protect her if he didn't know what he was protecting her from!

Ben bit his lip. "Did he... uh... you know, like he did with Gina?"

"Ben!" She was mortified that he'd even think such a thing. "What kind of a girl do you think I am?!?" Then she thought about their little adventure in the shower and blushed. "Wait, don't answer that!" She let out a nervous giggle which lightened the mood for both of them.

"I'm serious," Ben pressed. "You're leaving entirely too much to the imagination here, and frankly that scares the hell out of me."

Ally waved off his concern. "No need to worry. It's not like that."

"Then tell me what it is like." He wanted to grab her and shake her, anything to get to the bottom of this mess. "I want to know. Need to know, dammit."

Out came the rush of tears, making him feel like a first class asshole for pushing her so hard.

Ally's lower lip quivered as she reached over to her nightstand and pulled a book out of the tiny drawer. She handed it to Ben, waiting for his reaction.

He skimmed the cover, flipped it over to read the blurb on the back, and then shrugged. "So? Lots of women read romance novels."

"Look at the author's name..."

"Sally Collins... Should I know her?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Well... you do know her. Him, actually."

"Huh?"

"Sally Collins is really Colin Salinger," she explained.

"I can't imagine why he'd ask you to keep it a secret. Lots of English professors write those kinds of books."

"Yeah, maybe, but there's something else." He motioned her to continue. "Uh, Professor Salinger asked me to write the next Sally Collins book with him. He thought I had a knack for writing romance."

"You do," Ben agreed. "Wow, that's quite an opportunity."

But there was something in Ben's tone of voice that led Ally to believe that he wasn't so convinced it was a great opportunity. "You think it was a ploy, don't you? Like what happened to Gina..." When he didn't immediately express an opinion one way or another, she started rambling. "You're probably right about it being a ploy. I mean how good of a writer can I be freshman year? And let's face it... he was probably looking for a new playmate to start off the year. Who better than Little Miss Innocent, right?" She choked back bitter tears.

"Dammit, would you stop beating up on yourself?" Ben blew out a frustrated sigh. "You still have no idea what's going on here. Maybe Erica's lying about that whole thing with Gina. Maybe she just has it in for the poor guy for some reason. Give it time to settle out, Al."

"But you see why I'm so upset, don't you?" she asked between sniffles. "I don't know who to trust, and who not to trust."

Ben reached over and pulled her into his arms. His heart ached for her. She had so much going for her, yet self-doubt and a lack of confidence were dragging her down. He wanted to help her in the worst way, but how? Empty words of encouragement wouldn't cut it. And he sure hated to give her false hope, but damn, she looked so beaten and defeated.

"You know," he began tentatively, "there's a possibility that Salinger was making a genuine offer. Don't you think it's a little unfair to jump to conclusions without all of the facts?"

"Maybe, but why would he change with me? Why wouldn't he do the same thing to me that he did to Gina?"

"Did it ever occur to you that he might see the same thing in you that I do? You're an amazing person, Ally, and you have a whole lot of talent, too. Don't underestimate that."

Ally sighed and slapped her thighs with her hands. "Well, maybe I should give it a rest for now. At least until I can get more details from the English Department." Then she turned to Ben, her eyes looking brighter and her face filled with color. "Thank you so much for putting up with me, Ben. I suspect I'm going to be confused for quite some time, but it means a lot to me that you're here with me."

She placed her hand on his upper arm and squeezed it tenderly, sending a jolt of electricity through Ben's body. He sucked in a quick breath of air, and then it was all over. Ally leaned into him, surrounded by the sweet strawberry scent of her shampoo from their shower, and brushed her lips against his. Ben was driven so wild by the simple act, that he had no choice but to pull her closer and begin ravaging her mouth.